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What do you say to gun control advocates when they ask the same old questions about gun ownership? Here’s some of the anti-gun inanity I face on a regular basis, and my snarky replies. Please add to this list. For the children! . . .

Why Do You Have So Many Guns?

Why didn’t you pay attention in history class?
Because God promised me sufficiency in all things.
Because I get tired of playing with my enormous penis.

How can you keep a gun in a house with children?

Where else should I keep my children?
Surprisingly, the gun doesn’t complain.

Why do you need an assault rifle?

To stop people from taking my assault rifle.
Because bad guys aren’t impressed with my love rifle.
Because Dr. Seuss told me these things are fun and fun is good.

What are you so afraid of?

Running out of ammo.
A bad primer.
Evil bastards and insufferable idiots.
What you got?

What’s wrong with universal background checks?

Who’s going to cash them?
Ask The Men in Black how that works out.

Your turn.

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  1. Why do I have so many guns? Because I can. Children? What children? Mine are grown. Assault rifle? Again, because I can. Afraid of? Low information voters. Universal background checks? Let me know how that works on Alpha Centauri

    • No way, don’t let the leftists go to Alpha Centauri. The aliens that live there might return to wipe us all out thinking we are all that unintelligent!

    • Why do you have so many guns? …. in case one fails. Why do you have so many shoes? Why do you have so many clothes?

      How can you keep a gun in the house with children?…. at this point I would ask “are you stalking my kids?”

    • Try this .
      Eat 1 or 2 bean burritos every day , as early as possible .
      When someone ask you any of these questions , just fart on em .
      It’s the only thing that they can make ‘ scents ‘ out of .

    • Why so many guns? Because I don’t want my favorite to get lonely.

      How can I keep a gun in the house with children? I don’t have dumb untrained childen and do have a gun safe.

      Why do I need an assault rifle? Because rape rifles are so icky.

      What are you afraid of? People like you making policy decisions.

      What’s wrong with universal background checks? They are more than a pain in the ass than your questions and won’t stop any crime.

  2. The second amendment is so outdated… yeah so is the first so give up your religion and stop speaking freely.

    • I got that one. “It’s locking us into a social structure that isn’t working.” Wants to be more like other countries, but admits they have the same problems. It’s weird. I guess us having more gun violence freaks them out, but they don’t accept any of the explanations for why it happens. It’s just this terrifying mystery to them that necessitates banning guns even though banning every other thing has failed.

    • More appropriately, you would respond to the 2nd Amendment being outdated with, “yeah, well so is the First, so become a Christian and keep your mouth shut.”

      • The second amendment is so outdated and the founding fathere werent tsalking about high capacity firearms.
        Well then so is the first amendment,as all it does is promote hate speech and pornography as well as the fifth in these days of terrorism,we should all be co operating with law enforcement,and you have nothing to fear if you have done nothing wrong .

        Actually the fathers would have known about high volume firing guns as 75 years before the declaration was signed an Englishman ,James Puckle invented the first revolving chamber firearm.Called the Puckle gun..It worked but was never mass produced as it wasnt an easy design to copy with just hand tools back then.

  3. I can’t answer this question because I don’t speak to gun control advocates or any other morons.

    • Hard to convert those you don’t talk to. I’m not advocating engaging the Bloomberger’s, but the ones who ask uninformed questions are often just that- uninformed. inform them politely, and you might just create an ally.

      • “Never try to reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him, and cannot be reasoned out.”
        – Sydney Smith

        • I strongly disagree. I have reasoned the prejudice out of many determined anti-gun crusaders by giving them accurate information in a like able, non confrontational manner.

          Most often the people who say “why bother, they wouldn’t listen anyways” have never been brave enough to try.

        • “Don’t argue with an idiot. He’ll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

        • @Ethan, I understand your position and encourage you to continue. As for me, I’ll stay as far away from wingnuts as I can. I’m getting on in years and so I try to avoid any activities that might give me hemorrhoids.

    • “I don’t often speak to gun control fascists, but when I do it’s with my EDC IWB at 3:00.”

      • And by the way, I like the “Moms Demand Fascism” poster, but I believe the swastika is backwards. Or did the artist intentionally make it point to the left?

        • Actually, I think the name of the group should be “Moms Demand Gun Control for Fascism in America”.

        • It’s backwards, and proportioned incorrectly, and, at least on the Nazi flag, it was oriented like a diamond, with points up and down, left and right. You can construct an authentic Nazi swastika by drawing a five by five square grid and knocking out eight of the squares…the arms are as thick as the gaps.

    • I always used to answer: “The first time, I let them shoot for free. After that, I charge for the ammo.”

      Mine has a rifle, a pistol, and a shotgun, and knows how to use all of them. (He prefers the rifle, but with Halloween coming i’m sure we’ll be decimating a bunch of pumpkins with the scatter gun.) What kind of horrible parent are you that you’ve deprived yours? I thought this was the “give the kids everything” generation.

  4. Why do you carry a gun?

    Because you cant have a battle of wits when you are unarmed.
    It keeps my pants from riding up.

  5. I actually prefer to ask my own poignant questions. :p Maybe that’d be a good post for next time?

    Here’s one I got asked:
    how do you prepare your preschooler to not be shot by an adult in their school?

    I’ll leave the snarky responses to you (that ain’t my mojo). But it’s a silly question on the face of it.

    • I really like that one, especially given the person typically asking you the question absolutely believes they occupy the Moral High Ground ™ anyway.

    • How does your school protect your preschooler from being shot while in their school? You mean they just practice hiding in a corner? I thought we already knew that doesn’t work.

      • Chip,

        I actively seek out your comments to the postings on this blog. While you are clearly much more intelligent than I am, more articulate, and posses a much quicker wit, you and I seem so very much alike that we’d either get along famously or kill each other. This comment finally pushed me far enough to say something because it is getting eerie. My wife and I homeschool our kids and I would have had the exact same response to the question.

      • We homeschooled 15 years ago (kids are adults now).
        After Columbine I specifically asked why the district’s schools were not considering implementing controlled access to the buildings and a security guard.
        The answer: “Because we don’t want a prison environment”.

        Attendance is mandatory, multiple head counts happen daily, doors lock behind you when the bell rings, you need family to fund your canteen account, you need a pass to move about freely… It’s the Security guards that will make it prison-like.

  6. “When will America care more about people’s lives than about GUNS?”

    Funny, I care about my life and the lives of my family, and that’s why I have guns.

  7. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
    Because I have 4 children. They all want one of every gun when I die so I have to buy 4 of everything.
    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    I don’t. I’m forced to keep children in the house with my guns. I tried to throw them all out but CPS keeps sending them back.
    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    Because nobody makes a retreat rifle.
    What are you so afraid of?
    Standing between the bad guy and my wife.
    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    Nothing I guess, they worked pretty well for Stalin, Mao, and Hitler.

      • “Because when I carried a cop in my pocket my weekly doughnut bill was outrageous!”

        “Because they make so many calibers!”

        “Why? Are you looking for me to donate one?”

        “Why? Do you need to borrow one? Not after I-594, fella!”

  8. How can you keep a gun in a house with children?

    We lock the children in a safe. It’s important to keep them safe from everything, rather than teach them what is dangerous and what is not.

  9. I don’t talk to anti-gun folks, but I do get questions sometimes.

    The few times people ask me why I carry a gun, (usually tourists), I’m happy to tell them that I carry it because I own my life and am the only one responsible for that life and my safety. The only real concern most of them have is whether or not it is “legal.”

    My favorite, however, is the old lady who looked at my holstered hand gun and actually asked if I was expecting trouble. I told her, “No ma’am. If I’d been expecting trouble I’d have brought my rifle.” Honest, actual story… happened in the grocery store. 🙂

  10. Why do you need an assault rifle?

    What is that? Please explain exactly what an assault rifle is.

  11. What about your kids.
    Well, my daughter really prefers my 45 to any of my 9mm pistols.
    My daughter is licensed to carry same as me.

    • My daughter prefers her Ruger SR9c. That gun has the smoothest striker fired go pedal I have ever tried.

      • By the way, when I took my basic tactical pistol course I used my SR9c. My instructor, a retired Navy SEAL, asked me first thing, “Why did you buy THAT pistol?” I handed it to him and he ran a 17 round mag through it, handed it back to me and said, “Carry on.”

        ‘Nuff said.

        • I have shot both the SR9 full size and 9E. Neither share the elegant smoothness, simplicity, and predictability of the compact trigger. I have several in both 9 and 40. These are a few of my favorite things….

      • I concur with all of the above. My EDC is a SR40c – dad has one too. Great gun. Highly underrated.

      • I do really love my 9c, it’s been a great gun. It shoots VERY well (when I do my part of course). It hasn’t been flawless for me though, I have had issues where it would not reset between every shot. I did figure out what the problem was and Ruger sent me replacement parts for it for free, they even paid the shipping.

  12. I remember an old issue of MAD Magazine wherein they spoofed “Guns & Ammo” with a magazine titled “Passionate Gun Lore”. In the ‘letters to the editors’ column there was posted the question, “Why shouldn’t we register our guns; we register our dogs, don’t we?” The editor replied, “Nobody’s registering my guns, and nobody’s registering my dog’s guns either!”. That works for me.

  13. What are you so afraid of?

    Election results from voters who ask gun owners what they are afraid of.

    • +1
      And, you raise the real issue at hand. Those who ask questions, other than lawyers, are the ones who don’t already have the answer. Translation, they are clueless. And, they vote.

      • I ask questions that I don’t know the answers to, am I clueless? Watch your generalizations there, friend, for you know not what you say.

  14. “Why do you need a semi-automatic pistol/suppressor/machine gun/sniper rifle/short-barreled rifle?”
    Why do the police need them?
    Why do you need newspapers/websites/online journals/Facebook/Twitter/Instagram?
    It’s not a Bill of Needs!

    “All guns are good for is killing people.”
    And that’s why I have them.
    Some people just need killing.
    Is killing someone always a bad thing?

  15. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?


    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?

    Because if it saves one life we should do it.

  16. Why do you want a bullet proof vest and night vision? Um cause it looks and feels badass
    Why do you need a suppressor? so I don’t wake the neighbors
    Why do you need 30 rounds or more in a magazine? because freedom should ring more than 10 times in 1 volley
    Why do you need a Short barreled rifle? because I don’t want to feel inadequate. YOU CANT COMPETE WITH 16 INCHES!!!!
    Why do you need explosive targets? Its the safer alternative to Xanax

  17. “What are you some kind of pussy?”

    “Of course I am dumbass. Why do you think I carry a gun?”

  18. “Why do you own an assault rifle”

    Because the Second Amendment is about shooting tyrants in the face stupid, not hunting or sport.

  19. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
    -I wan’t to make sure I’m not the one infringing on my 2nd Amendment rights.
    -It started with just two, but then I left them in the safe alone one night.
    -Because when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I might need to give one to you so you can watch my back.

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    -It’s actually many guns. Please reference question 1.
    -When your daughter turns 14 and the boys start coming around, ask me again if you still don’t get it.
    -I can only afford one house to hold everything.

    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    -Mine are battle rifles, actually. Much more deadly than mere assault rifles.
    -Because murderous criminals aren’t stopped by empathy rifles.

    What are you so afraid of?
    -Nothing; I’m armed.
    -The pussification of this country.
    -People from the government who say “I’m here to help.”

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    -What’s wrong with requiring a picture ID to vote?
    -How many convicted felons will ask the government to check their background before buying a gun?
    -Nothing. Just like there’s nothing wrong with the government monitoring whom I call, whom I send email to, Stop & Frisk, etc.
    -Because most mass shooters pass the background check, so what’s the point?

    • “-How many convicted felons will ask the government to check their background before buying a gun?”

      This one you can actually use in a serious conversation.

  20. I was recently asked by a particularly snooty anti; “Why do you nee-ee-eed so many guns”? I replied…”You’ve confused want with need. I want more guns. You NEED to go away”! I believe he shat himself.

  21. Why do you have so many guns?
    What else would I fill my safe with?

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    Because I don’t expect my children to protect me.

    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    Because my a-pepper rifle was lonely.

    What are you so afraid of?
    Spending my limited time on this earth answering stupid questions.

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    Because my un-infringed right to keep and bear arms is in the foreground.

  22. How can you keep a gun in the house with children?

    Because my daughter will complain about the rust on her rifle if we leave it outside.

  23. My liberal upbringing gives me pause when I take mental inventory of how many firearms I own.

    But I’m a collector, this is the same approach I take to video games. I buy old, crummy things that are historically interesting.

  24. Why do you NEED an assault weapon?

    What does NEED have to do with anything? Why do you NEED a Cadillac when there’s a perfectly good Ford Pinto for you to drive.

    • Excuse me sir. I take great exception to you putting perfectly good and Pinto in the same sentence.
      This from a 1974 Mustang driver.

  25. Question: “Why do you need an assault rifle?”

    Answer: “Because f##k you, that’s why.”

    I saw that on some website and I cannot find it. If anyone knows the original source, please link it so that we can give credit to the originator.

  26. Question: “Why do you carry a gun?”

    Answer: “When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.”

  27. “Why do you have so many guns?”

    -“How do you know how many I have!?” or
    -“Because I haven’t saved up enough for my new one yet.”

    “How can you keep a gun in the house with children?”

    -“Well, neither one takes up that much space…” or
    -“Pretty easily.”

    “Why do you need an assault rifle?”

    -“Because RPGs, Grenades and Claymores are too messy.”
    -“Because f**k you, that’s why.”
    -“I didn’t until you said I shouldn’t have one. Now I need 2. For each family member.”

    “What are you so afraid of?”

    -“Dying and leaving my kids without a father.”
    -“Someone harming my kids.”
    -“That my wife will sell my guns for what I told her they cost.”

    “What’s wrong with universal background checks?”

    -“What’s right with them?” or
    -“Seriously, what’s right about them? What would they prevent that current background checks don’t?”

  28. Question: “Why do you need … ”

    Answer: “Who made you an arbiter of someone else’s needs?”

  29. Question: why do you need an assault rifle?

    Answer: if police need “weapons of war”, so do I.

  30. Why do you need an assault rifle?

    It’s not. It’s a defense rifle.

    What’s the difference?

    Human intent.

  31. Why do you have so many guns?

    For the same reason I have so many books. Different guns for different purposes.

  32. You must have a small dick!
    -I offer an inspection, they pick the time and place.

    We should make a law/license guns!
    Why don’t we license reproduction?
    -I say it derisively just to piss the person off if they are a soccer mom type who’s practically didn’t exist until they had kids. The point is it insults them personally by implying they shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce and/or it suggests to them that something they see as a fundamental right is on the chopping block, hopefully for equally outrageous reasons.

    The 2nd only applies to militias!
    -Irregular forces made up of average people equipping themselves make up militias in tradition and in federal law. That sound a lot like your average gun owner to me.

    The 2nd only applies to states!
    -Just like the rest of the bill of rights!

    The 2nd only meant muskets because that’s what was around then!
    -That sucks the internet, film, photographs, certain forms of print, certain behaviors, political ideas, etc are not covered by the 1st amendment.

  33. Why do you need a high capacity magazine?
    Why does your Suburban need a high capacity fuel tank?

  34. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
    How many is “so many”?

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    Ask my wife.
    Very carefully.
    They usually fit through the front door.

    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    Police use them, why can’t I?

    What are you so afraid of?
    Politicians infringing the constitutional rights of Americans.

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    They are already in place. They are called form 4473.
    No checks. Cash only. /rimshot

  35. I don’t like snappy answers, they don’t do much good. Here’ s my comeback list.

    Q. Why do you have a gun?
    A. Because they are fun and useful and legal. They are my hobby and my sport, and are good for self defense. Why don’t you have one?
    Q. Because I don’t need one.
    A. I hope I don’t, either. But I also have CPR training and I’ve never needed that. I have it, all the same.
    Q. Because I might shoot someone accidentally, or maybe myself.
    A. That’s a good reason not to own one. Training would help you with that.
    Q. Guns are dangerous.
    A. Yes, they are. I take that very seriously.
    Q. You could have an accident.
    A. Yes, even cops have accidents. I think about gun safety every time I pick one up. Being familiar with guns makes me safer when I handle them.
    Q. You’re more likely to shoot yourself than a bad guy.
    A. Well, I live in a good part of town and I avoid trouble, so you’re probably right. But I have training and I’m as safe as I can be.
    Q. But we all make mistakes, that’s why cars have seatbelts, in case we so something unsafe and crash.
    A. And that’s another reason I have a gun, for safety. I’m a husband and father and that makes me a pretty important guy. I want to take care of myself and my people for a long time, and in all ways.
    Q. But you don’t need a _____ for self defense.
    A. I just want what your average cop drives around with for self defense- a pistol, a rifle and a shotgun. If its good enough for him, its good enough for me.

  36. When I first got my CCW, my wife was used to me shooting, but not used to me carrying. One day she saw me taking a pistol out of the safe.
    Her: “Are you going shooting today?”
    Me: “I sure hope not.”

  37. Why buy an assualt rifle? Cause the same .gov that’s giving food, money and education and medical care to illegals is too damn broke to give me an assualt rifle.

    If they’d knock that crap off they’d have enough money to give every household in America an AK47. Think of how much safer our cities would be then.

  38. I don’t converse with anti’s so this theoretical for me.

    -Why do you need an assault rifle?

    It’s not an assault rifle, And i don’t need it i wanted it.

    -Why do you have so many guns?

    Why does Jay Leno have so many car’s? Because i can.

    -What are you so afraid of?

    Being defenseless.

    -What’s wrong with universal background checks?

    Because criminals don’t follow the law,
    Background checks don’t stop gangbangers from getting there hand’s on a gun.

  39. Why do you have so many guns?
    -I buy a new one ever time someone talks about gun control.

    What do you need an assault rifle for?
    -If society crumbles it will make it easier for me to take all of your stuff.

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    -You. I don’t think I can trust trust you with that information and you KNOW I can’t trust you.

  40. Why do you have so many guns? What are you so afraid of? Politicians that haven’t figured out the answer to your first question.

  41. I don’t bother-I practically yelled at an idiot (in Indiana) yelling about Illinois having CC and the wildwest shootouts to follow.(At an estate sale where there were some gun holsters). So where are the daily bloodbaths in Indiana where they have had concealed AND open carry for years? Doofus?

    • yelling about Illinois having CC and the wildwest shootouts to follow
      Chicago has those without legal CC.

  42. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
    Because I don’t have secret service armed with machine guns to protect me.

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    The kids keep the dogs company.

    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    Please define an assault rifle to someone who has never seen a military rifle.

    What are you so afraid of?
    Not a damn thing… I’m armed, remember?

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    The same thing that’s wrong with voter ID requirements.

    • Absolutely. Individuals should be able to own any size canon, bazooka, RPG, 40mm AAA and any other direct fire weapon. It’s on you what you do with it and honestly, if you can afford a bazooka when an RPG is so much cheaper and less collectible then you’re probably not the sort of person to fark it all up by improperly using your bazooka. We have plenty of laws that make general mayhem punishable. Trying to prohibit mayhem by prohibiting material things is like trying to stop your kid from growing up by locking them in their room. A species that is distinctive in their ability to use tools to make things will not be stopped by people telling them that they’re not allowed to make those things. They know how, what’s stopping them. Surely not a pointed finger or admonishing tone.

      • I suggest an alternative response.

        First, we have to ask ourselves what purpose our rhetoric is to serve:
        – create a sprit of comradeship while gathered around the bar at the Rod & Gun Club? or,
        – get open-minded voters to begin to come-around to the value of honoring the RKBA?

        Personally, I think the latter to be a more pragmatic answer.

        Why do the Antis ask this question about nukes, tanks or bazookas? Is it because the discussion somehow informs the philosophical nuances of Constitutional-Carry vs. Shall-Issue? Think about this for a while. Don’t they raise the “nuclear” question to distract from whether our daughters have a right to carry an equalizer? They don’t want to discuss real practical problems such as the right of the innocent and law-abiding to defend themselves.

        So, when we here the “nuclear” question what shall we do?
        – take the bait and run-with-it straight to the place the Anti’s want to go?
        – return the discussion to the real public policy issues?

        I would respond that:

        I’ll be happy to entertain the right of the People to own nukes or tanks or bazookas just as soon as we have answered the immediate problem of Right-to-Carry the same arms as SCOTUS has secured for the defense of hearth and home.

        Today, 40 States’ legislatures have honored their duty to secure the Right-to-Carry; leaving 10 States and DC in the minority. In these 11 jurisdictions only men-of-means – and the squires who protect their property – are granted the titles-of-nobility to bear-arms in public. Why is this? What is this “peculiar institution” of these few coastal jurisdictions that distinguishes their social institutions from those of the other 40 States?

        Do we really have a notion of “States’ rights” that trumps enumerated, fundamental, rights in our Federal Constitution? Is the life of a Donald Trump or Pinch Sulzberger really greater in the eyes of the law than that of Shaneen Allen? Is “May-Issue” a PC way of implementing “No guns for Negros”?

        And, by the way, it’s perfectly legal for a citizen to own a tank or bazooka as long as he has paid the $200 tax. No one is arguing about these arms. We can deal with a nuke just as soon as someone applies for a stamp for such an “Any Other Weapon”.

          • I agree that it’s not snarky enough to be self-satisfying. In the privacy of our own haunts (the bar at the Rod & Gun Club) we can enjoy our cute rejoinders; I as much as anyone else.

            Here on a public forum – and still more important in the debating halls and cocktail parties – we ought to think more about where we are today in the struggle to protect, defend and advance the RKBA. What works? What tends to work to undermine our efforts? Are we PotG up to thinking about these questions?

            What do you think Bloomberg thinks about? Do you think he has people working day and night thinking about the rhetoric that works to undermine RKBA? Do you think he has people critiquing the talking points trying to weed-out the talking-points that could be used against the Moms?

            The Brit-guy who posed the question: “What are you proposing?” has his sights aligned. Could we be as clever as he is?

            The spate of mass shootings were all perpetrated by individual crazies who passed the NICS check; except one, who killed his mother and stole her legally acquired guns. When the Antis respond: “What are you proposing?: UBC” they have to deal with this back-drop. You mean making “universal” the background-check that didn’t stop any of the spree killers in memory?

            When the Antis respond: “What are you proposing?: GFZs” they have to explain what they mean: Bigger signs?

            When the Antis respond: “What are you proposing?: Mental health evaluations ” they have to explain: Nidal Hissan; Aron Alexis; James Holmes; Seung-Hui Cho; Adam Lanza; . . .

            Ridicule is an excellent technique; however, to be effective (vs. counter-productive) it must obviously cut-to-the-heart of the efficacy of the opponent’s argument. It has no constructive impact if it amuses only the choir as an inside joke.

  43. Why do you feel the need to arm yourself?
    Because at this rate, one day Liberals like you will vote away all individual rights. Patriots like me will have to make a correction. You know? Kind of like how thunderstorms clean the air. You want clean air, don’t you?

  44. My niece actually asked this:

    “What about semi-automatic assault rifles?” Then proceeded to look smug, like she’d “won” the conversation.

    I looked right at her and said, “What about them?” She was dumbfounded that I didn’t slink off because, apparently in her mind, she’d said Voldemort’s name to me.

    • “What about semi-automatic assault rifles?”

      She may as well have asked, “What about dry water?” or, “What about heavy air?”

      P.S. someone told me a really good one yesterday, while trying to defend his country’s (Australia’s) gun laws:

      I would not be able to buy a semi-auto, but then, why would you need a semi-auto to kill pigs? They’re designed to kill people.

      So, in the mind of Einstein here, my bolt-action .44 caliber rifle would be kosher, but my semi-auto 10/22 would be verboten, because it is “designed to kill people”, merely by virtue of being semi-automatic.

  45. Why Do You Have So Many Guns? They are my special snowflakes looking for a home.
    How can you keep a gun in a house with children? I put the kids out in the dog house.
    Why do you need an assault rifle? The heck with it, watch my auto 12 gauge shotgun.
    What are you so afraid of? Morons like you.
    What’s wrong with universal background checks? I prefer to look at things in the foreground.

  46. **Why do you need a gun?**

    Why do you need a smart phone?


    What does need have to do with something I can afford?

  47. I’ll get rid of my guns as soon as you get rid of them from criminals, police and the military. I’m waiting…

  48. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?

    I don’t, actually. My position on citizen gun ownership is based on principle and reason … probably why you didn’t recognize it.

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?

    On a shelf out of their reach when they’re tiny. Wherever I want once they’re old enough to behave. Do your kids get into stuff they aren’t allowed?

    Why do you need an assault rifle?

    There’s no such thing as an “assault rifle.” That said, sadly, because of your preferences should I need a “battle rifle” I won’t have one. What did I ever do to you that you want me dead?

    What are you so afraid of?

    Prepared is not afraid. Grown ups can prepare for bad stuff that might happen, without being afraid of it.

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?

    Nobody believes that’s *all* they’ll do with it. Seen the new NICS “private sale” form? (BTW, would you mind telling me what led you to believe I’m such a sucker I’d fall for that?)

  49. Why do you have so many guns? How is you have come to know how many guns I own?

    My general response to people who question me about anything is, “Why do you ask?” This usually forces them to respond with something more intelligent or back themselves into a corner, or they huff and walk away.

    I always smile and look them in the eye(s).

  50. Why do you need a gun?

    Why do you need car, medical, and life insurance? For security and peace of mind.


  51. “Violence like this doesn’t happen in Europe.”

    Were it not for constant American firepower and expertly-applied violence over the last hundred years, you’d still be goose-stepping your way down the Champs-Elysees.

    • Or you could do the traditional European thing- shout “ALLAHU AKBAR!” repeatedly and saw their head off with a large bowie knife.

  52. Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
    Because I want that many.
    I thought 1 gun-a-month was a mandate, not a limitation. Boy did I feel silly when I found out.
    There are lots of kinds of targets. That requires lots of kinds of guns.

    How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
    Easy. It’s an enclosed structure big enough to contain both.
    They have their own guns so it could be said that they’re keeping guns in a house with adults in it.
    I can protect my children with a gun faster and more effectively than with a telephone.

    Why do you need an assault rifle?
    Need never entered into it. It’s my right.
    So I don’t have to pick one up from the ground on the battlefield.
    It’s so much less messy than a fuel-air bomb.

    What are you so afraid of?
    Not a damned thing.
    If I was afraid I’d move.
    Another ammo shortage.

    What’s wrong with universal background checks?
    The background of the Universe is none of my business.
    Background checks as we have them are hugely terribly unreliable criminal detectors and even less efficient good-person detectors.
    Because I think even felons should still have the right to armed self defense with personal firearms.

  53. “Why do you carry a gun?”

    Because my life is just as valuable as Donald Trump’s (or Rosie O’Donnell, or whoever the other person might resonate with).

  54. Met a woman from France and she is scared of guns. I told her America bailed her county out of two World Wars. When I asked how would the guns be taken, by people with guns? She had no answer so I volunteered hypocrisy for her. The only gun control law there should be is that criminals can’t have any firearms. No double standards put DC politicians on Obamacare and SS.Thanks for your support and vote.Pass the word.

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