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By 505Mark

One of my shooting buddies long ago came to the realization that what his wife doesn’t know, won’t get her mad enough at him to pick up one of his guns and shoot him. I have seen her shoot and I have seen her angry. He was smart to be cautious. I am at their house, picking him up for a morning of shooting at the range, with naturally the winner of some invented and totally bogus shooting contest picking up the check for lunch afterward. The two of us are out in his garage, where we have just finished loading up my truck with his gear. “Honey, we’re leaving now!” . . .

His wife comes out and smiles at us and comes up to give him a hug and a kiss goodbye. As they hug he says, “We’ll have to hit the store to pick up some ammo.” Still smiling, a bit frostily it seems to me, she looks over his shoulder at his ammo shelves where he has exactly one box of each caliber he shoots. “Well then, you boys have a good time,” she says, as she recognizes that he does not, in fact, have enough ammo.

At the local big box store – naturally this was back before any ammo shortage – he buys three boxes each of .45 ACP and .38 Special, and two 500 round bricks of .22LR. “You still hiding ammo from her?” I ask, knowing that he will return home with one full box each of .45 and .38, and one unopened box of .22LR, each of which will be carefully hidden at the back of the top shelves of cabinets in his garage. He has done this for years.

“Hell, yes,” he says, adding “I don’t want her thinking I’m some paranoid prepper.”

“But you are a paranoid prepper,” I say, laughing, though I fundamentally think he is more right than not.

“Yeah, well, there’s that,” he says with complete seriousness as he plops down a credit card for the purchase.

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        • Hey Tom, I’m retired and have plenty of time and a computer. Share the secret with us of how to make lots of money working from home on the computer.

        • I see TTAG erased the spam.
          OK. Here’s the secret. Always, Oh wait, Never…
          Oh crud, I forgot. The only tip I can give is, ‘don’t pet burning dogs’.

        • Hahahaha
          Seriously, if I remember right, you’re in California. Any good pig hunts in the northern region I can look at? Not enough of them here in Oregon to look at. After seeing and shooting warthog in Africa, I’m hooked.
          Wish I could post a pic here. The next 8 months is gonna drag waiting on my skins, skulls, and mount.

        • I wish I could help on the pig hunting question. I haven’t hunted in over 30 years. I keep hearing that we’re overrun with porkers and that they’re an invasive species so the season and limits are generous. But first hand knowledge I do not have.

        • I have no objections to hunting. Did a fair amount of it in my youth. But I live a vegeterian lifestyle in a house full of vegeterians. Would be a waste for me to kill an animal. And I’m looking forward to hearing about your African trip. I hope you post your trip and pictures here.

          I grew up dreaming of hunts in faraway lands. I read magazines like Field and Stream as much as I did magazines like Guns and Ammo. And the stories of men like Bell and Capstick fired my imagination.

    • To be fair… On the scale of “things to hide from the Mrs…” guns are a long way down the list of offenses. Honestly, probably a hair above that case of beer we all have stashed somewhere in the garage / shed / basement, to save us trips to the fridge.

    • Sometimes it’s about timing rather than long-term subterfuge.

      For example, I have not felt the need to inform my significant other that I have a second AR stripped lower on the shelf in my gun safe, despite that being legally defined as a firearm. When I build another AR upper, well, then it’s an actual rifle.

      Even so, I may still wait until an occasion where she collapses the wave/particle function (i.e. sees two ARs in my possession at the same time, removing all doubt that I have more than one) before mentioning that I actually bought two lowers when I built my first AR… But she will almost certainly note the influx of deliveries when I build upper #2, rendering this a moot point.

    • Agreed.

      I told my wife I needed a 1000 round box of speer lawman for training and zombies. At the current price of $600+, she asked me why we needed it so badly. I told her the truth: “we currently don’t have any bulk 9mm on hand, and frankly we should have at least 3000-5000 rounds for each caliber we own, not just 1000.”

      She said “yeah, I agree. Okay then.”

      I have a great wife.

      • My wife buys bulk ammo for me when I am not actively on the market for it, and has gone so far as authorizing gun purchases for no other reason than to put money where my mouth is on all the talk about competitive shooting. I am competing now, and consider her my sponsor. Honesty and trust has been a worthwhile policy.

      • Hear hear. We’ve been so conditioned by news reports to think of 200 rounds as a “cache.” I shoot way more than that for practice. Once I showed my missus the math, she no longer rolls her eyes at my rows of ammo boxes.

        Now if only ammo prices would come down so I can replenish my “cache.”

  1. If you have to hide, sneak, lie or obfuscate then you either should not be doing what you are doing or you need to change your environment to suit what youre doing.

    More often then not folks who do this sort of thing are making up reasons to because their neighbors/spouse/family really couldnt care less. Something youd never figure out if you keep sneaking and hiding.

  2. Nope, she knows everything. May not always like it, but better that than the alternative. jwm has it right.

  3. I don’t hide it, but I am self conscious about how my credit card statement looks:
    “$500 at palmetto state armory? $150 at the local gunstore?$200 at Walmart?…We need to talk”

  4. My girlfreind has a gun at home but Ive never seen her carry. She understands self sufficiency and need to defend herself and daughter. That said while I dont hide anything from her she dosnt understand why I always carry or why I have an AR-15. Im trying to get her to the range but latley she has no interest.

    Never hide anything from the wife, I learned that the hard way. My pet peeve is I would rather know the truth than find out about a lie (no matter how little) the hard way.

      • Haha! I guess I should have worded that differently. In my case the ex-wife.

        The girlfreind said I could have another on the side if she happens to be rich lol

  5. No. My wife knows what my hobby is and trusts me to spend money wisely. I hid a gun purchase once a couple years ago when we were just married and had opened a joint account. My wife, who I had dated and lived with for almost five years before that, was actually kind of insulted that I thought she would care.

  6. I do not have to hide it from my significant other, in fact, I find that my right hand is not jealous or inquisitive in the least.

    • Hahahahaha, at least you tell the truth!

      I’m still in college, and don’t plan to tie the knot with anybody for at least 5-8 more years, so I don’t have to hide anything from my girlfriend. Do I care if she thinks that I spend too much on guns/ammo? Hell no! If she cares about that then she’s obviously not the right girl, and I need to find a new one. Luckily that hasn’t happened yet.

  7. Both my wife and I put aside a small amount out of each of our paychecks as “fun money”. We can buy whatever we want as long as it comes from our individual funds. We’ve not had to argue about how we spend money in years.

  8. Sorta kinda….

    I do in the sense that I buy things with my business account. Usually ammunition and/or magazines (yes the ones that feed firearms, no not the print ones).

    She seems to think I have enough magazines. She didn’t support buying up ammo until the shortage, but now “we don’t have the money.”

    Anyone who plays the “you got to be honest all the time and you need a different life if you have to hide something” have clearly never met an “independent” woman (code for “controlling” but they don’t show it until it’s too late)

  9. My wife doesn’t share the same enthusiasm for firearms (she saves it for her designer shoes and handbags). I don’t hide anything from her–in fact, I teach her how to responsibly handle my firearms in the event there ever came a time she is required to defend herself.

  10. I bought an AR a few years back then started buying “spare parts” you know just in case something broke. Eventually all these spare parts became a complete rifle I got for “really cheap” And yes, I have a way more ammo than anyone in my family realizes. I don’t hide that information because I feel it is wrong, I just don’t want to fight about it.

  11. Just whatever .22 I can scrounge away when she’s not with me. Because if she finds it, it’s as good as spent.

      • Same problem here, I have to keep my bulk 9mm and .223 at my parent’s house. If I left more than a few boxes at home, my wife would shoot it all at the range while I was at work and leave me to clean the guns.

  12. It’s just good to be able to have something that is just yours, not something you agreed on, but something you just took it upon yourself to do/get/store/eat.. LOL It makes for a healthy marriage (right until she finds out and gets pissed, but angry sex is the best sex)

  13. My wife bought me a six-shooter as a graduation present, many years ago. She is not into guns herself, but she believes in RKBA. No secrets from her.

  14. My wife has my back and she is my best friend. She has her own CCW, her own guns and is always armed. She has the combination to the gun safe as well. She helps me organize our ammo.

    If either spouse can’t control anger or alcohol and you have firearms it’s time to move on.

  15. His marriage, his consequences. Has zero bearing on anybody else here. No more than your relationships have any influence on those who visit or post on this site.

  16. The only thing I haven’t disclosed is the total amount I spent on guns last year. (I only started shooting last February.) Fortunately, she leaves all the accounting work to me.

    (Even I don’t want to know how much I’ve spent on ammo.)

  17. My wife wants absolutely nothing to do with any of my guns at all. Doesn’t want to see them, doesn’t want to touch them, doesn’t want to know about them. Even still she is perfectly aware that I have them, how many I have, where they are, and if she asks I tell her what each one costs (Since she doesn’t want to know that usually doesn’t’ come up, but I have nothing to hide, I paid for them, with my money, that I made.). Does she like the idea? No. Does she accept the idea? Only under protest. But relationships are all about compromise. She doesn’t say anything about my practices and hobbies, and I continue to finance hers. If dad isn’t happy, ain’t no one happy. At least in my household. There is a certain benefit to being the only “independent” person in a household, although just the same there is a definite cost associated to that as well. Damn that whole love thing, suckers me in every time. 😀

  18. I don’t know or care how much my husband spends on golf, he doesn’t know or care how much I spend on guns & ammo. He considers his golfing as a hobby and my accumulating guns & ammo as an investment. If I’m happy, he’s happy. If he is happy, I’m happy. It’s how it works for us after 20+ years together.

  19. Always hide your ammo from your spouse. If your spouse is a gunny, he or she will end up using more of it than you do. If your spouse is a non-gunny, hiding the ammo is cheaper than a divorce. A lot cheaper.

  20. Most definitely, and I plan to keep it that way. Lt me explain. I have been happily married for 27 years to a left wing hoplophobe. She never had guns in her house while growing up, and has never ever fired one. I have been working for years to get at least a grudging acceptance of guns. Now to be sure, she knows about the black powder revolvers (I got busted when my third one was delivered to the house instead of my office), but she doesn’t want me to have any “modern” firearms.

    She knows that I shoot, and in fact have taught both of our children to shoot, and that’s OK–it’s just the thought of a “real gun” under the roof that gives her the heebie jeebies. So the three “modern” pistols, the .22 rifle and the shotgun have remained unknown to her. Best kept family secret (the kids know but are smart enough not to blather). (In fact I bought my daughter a 9mm for college graduation, and the wife doesn’t know about that either.) So it’s not that I am “lying” to her as much as I am keeping the peace and tranquility of my household, and avoiding causing my (severely disabled) spouse undue anxiety. And meanwhile I keep working on her about the gun thing.

  21. My wife asked once how much ammo do you have to have before it’s considered an “arsenal”. I said 2000 rounds of each caliber as a joke and I think we are short by about half. She came home from Gander mountain with 350 rounds of 9mm, 250 of .380, 200 .45, and 200 of .38 special.
    How cool is that?

  22. I got a little carried away during gunpocalypse when I found things priced at normal prices, so no, she doesn’t know. But she doesn’t really want to either.

  23. No need to hide my guns and ammo from my wife, nor anything else. I fully recognize and appreciate how fortunate I am.

  24. My wife has 100% knowledge of my firearm and ammo situation. In addition, I have given her 100% veto power. If she’s not fully on board, then I need to step back and evaluate what I’m doing.

    When it comes to buying more guns/ammo, I don’t trust my self. Somebody’s got to have a foot on the brakes.

    Trust begets trust.

  25. I am 100% against intentionally lying to my significant other. However, and maybe this is the attorney in me, I am a fan of some creative conflation. For instance, I don’t explicitly state when I have purchased a new gun, I merely refer to it as my “new gun.” She was a bit surprised when she saw my 1894c and my Mosin, she thought my “new gun” was my AR-15. However, if she asks directly I will answer honestly.

  26. I don’t tell her. She finds out on her own. Can’t get mad because I already have it. Worked so far. Plus, I always get her stuff she needs or really likes before my “next big purchase.”

  27. Not married, but my girlfriend tried to talk me into buying an SBR that I wanted but couldn’t really afford..

    • Edit: My mom espouses the maxim “The truth, nothing but the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth.”

      While I’ve no need to follow that advice in the context of shooting and my spouse, I will say to others that compartmentalization and failing to volunteer information is not lying. If she/he/it/xu asks, though, one should likely spill.

  28. And yet another reason why I will never marry. Seriously though, if you have to hide guns and ammo from your wife because you fear her shooting you, you need a new wife.

  29. Heck my wife understands how bad it is,and how bad it appears to be getting,she is all for my buying ammo,shoot she even buys me ammo sometimes,I get guns at Christmas,my birthday,Fathers day,and even sometimes when I come across a buddy that has to sell one!She also is behind me reloading what I want to.She is very family oriented and knows that if SHTF we will have to protect family.I couldn’t ask for a better woman!Be prepared and ready.Keep your powder dry.

  30. Screw hiding stuff like that. It’s dishonest and not the best foundation for a relationship.

    Personally, the guns, ammo and booze are on the table from the the get go. If she isn’t cool with it there is a friendly and respectful mutual parting. No hard feelings, all the best in future endeavors and we wasted zero of each others time.

  31. It’s not lying if she never asks, never goes shooting, never inquires about what’s in the safes, food is always on the table, kid is always clothed and the bills are always paid.

  32. I am happily married for 21 years. We moved to a place were we could own guns a few years after getting married . Turns out she despises guns and I like them. I have taken all our friend, our daughters, and her brothers shooting. I invite her to the range once a month, plus on my birthday and father’s day. She always looks horrified and says no.

    She asked once how many guns do I have? I said “Come to the range and count them”. She said “no”. So, I guess we use “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” at our house.

    Sometimes they don’t want to know.

    Sometimes I wonder if getting her to shoot with me would be as wonderful as I imagine.

  33. I used to have to live like this. The divorce cured it. The new fiance embraces my hobby. All is well in the world.

  34. My wife and I agreed on a specific number of total rounds. Nothing to hide here, but it’s damn hard to maintain that number with no ammo available if you keep shooting.

  35. When she asks me what I picked up at Wally world I tell her.

    Do I feel the need to volunteer information about my quick side trip to the LGS?…..No I do not.

    She wouldn’t have a problem with the money, She even helped me figure out how to use eXcell(sp) to inventory all my gun related stuff but if she knew how much TIME I spent in gun stores instead of with her I seriously doubt our “us time” would be as entertaining.

  36. To the title of this post… I own some guns and my fiance doesn’t know about them. I’ve brought up owning guns recently and she tells me how completely against having them in the house she is. We are getting married in less than a month and I can’t find a way to tell her about them. I guess I’m asking because I have no intention on getting rid of them but if she is that against them I do not want to have to turn around and get divorced over it if shes finds out. Help!!!

  37. My girlfriend has the other key to my gun locker and knows exactly what I own and approximately how much ammo I keep for it (less than I would want; shooting is tough on a student’s budget). We advise each other on purchases (she handles black powder, and I’m familiar with more modern firearms), and do virtually all of our practice/training together. I even built her a scout-style Savage bolt-action in .22 as a cheap-and-cheerful woods gun and plinker.


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