If I’m ever SWATed, my dog will definitely go down in a hail of lead. Not because he was gallantly defending his master, but because those evil interlopers carry lasers – the sparkly red nemesis of his existence. I imagine him furiously barking and chasing the beams around the room, paying no mind at all to the men standing there with the guns . . .

Aiming lasers are great tools for putting lead downrange, but not so much for entertaining ol’ Spot. If you want to drive your dog insane, it’s best to use a laser pointer or toy. Or you can learn the hard way, like Robert Walters of Salem, Oregon, that a gun-mounted laser isn’t the best choice for late-night, alcohol-infused entertainment.

Walters is facing five counts of reckless endangerment and one count of unlawful discharge after blowing the crap out of his TV while playing laser tag with his pooch. Police say Walters forgot the gun was loaded and pulled the trigger while pointing it at his TV. The round exited his home and penetrated a wall in his neighbor’s house, hence the five counts of endangerment – one for each freaked-out person in the domicile next door.

No word yet as to whether the dog will be filing charges.

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10 COMMENTS

  2. as scary as this is, i’ve heard of and actually been in the neighberhood when this type of stupidity occurs. once again, guns are not toys. keep booger hook off bang switch until you go hot at the range. if you must use your weapon as a toy, i suggest a super soaker.

  3. My TV is mounted on a 3ft thick brick chimney. I often imagine blasting it to pieces. My neighbors are safe. Wife might get pissed though. %0

  4. I’m sitting in church last summer. It’s early, I’m sleepy, but I’m fulfilling my obligation to the Lord. Eyes roaming around the church, maybe 200 -250 folks in the pews today. Looking around I see about 5 pews in front of me a gentlemen, head bowed, deep in thought, as the priest is in his homily. But that is funny….there is a red laser dot on his back…hmmm….A RED LASER DOT ! Holy crapola….my heart starts to race as I try to track down what is going on. WHAT THE HECK IS A RED DOT DOING IN CHURCH? Then I see the dot streak across several people and on it’s on someone else, then streak across again to several pews forward. I am quite honestly waiting to hear a BANG. The adrenalin is now pumping. But I am trying to track down its origin…Looking around…looking around…the wifey notices me…”are you OK honey?”….I grab her arm and I am literally going to pull her out of the pew and dart for the back entrance….then I spot the culprit. A 6 or 7 year old girl has a combo tactical light with laser pointer on it, across the church. The idiot mother is letting her light up folks in the church ! Paying no mind to what is going on. WTF …. I confess….I forgot all about the Lord. I desperately wanted to do something totally un-Christian. But I held myself in. I seethed for another half hour and left the earliest we could.

    • When you see a laser, if youre first assumption is that there is a sniper in your church, then you watch too much TV.

      • All I have to say is that churches are not immune from violence. I wouldn’t think a laser was a “sniper” but might be on a handgun..duh. I refer you to Jeanne Assam at her New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

      • With all the pedophile clergy out there it’s just a matter of time till the kids start arming themselves and fighting back.

  5. Another case when the dog is more mature and intellectually advanced than his human owner.

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