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There are all kinds of amusing examples of people calling 911 for ridiculous reasons. There’s the Rhodes Scholar candidate who phoned when McDonalds ran out of McNuggets. Or the elderly citizen who thought the public servants at emergency response were just the ones to resolve her pizza delivery problems. But it seems that Charles Akin Rempe [not pictured] was reluctant to use the 911 service when he developed an Akin Rempe…

Or an achin’ rump. Rempe somehow managed to get a fishing hook lodged in his gluteus maximus. This, in and of itself, wouldn’t seem to warrant an ambulance but Rempe was in pain and evidently thought otherwise. Unfortunately, walking over to the phone and dialing 911 didn’t occur to him.

No, Rempe had a much better idea. Instead, he figured he’d get his neighbors to dial for him. And he did it by firing his .45 randomly around his apartment. Sure enough, neighbors summoned the local constabulary.

The man opened the door and told the officer he had been hiding in the closet for hours and had a fish hook imbedded in his buttocks. According to police, the man said he was glad the officer arrived because he had fired several gunshots inside the apartment to attract the police.

You’ll be relieved to know that no one was injured during the mini shooting spree and Rempe was transported to a local ER for medical attention. No word as to whether that included a psychological evaluation.

[h/t to Armed Intelligentsia member Patrick Brown]

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  1. What the hell? Did he watch what people do when lost and in trouble in the wilderness on a tv show, thinking it translated to the city? Maybe he’s watched Bear Grylls a little too much. Maybe because it was a hook he thought he was hiding from Pinhead, from the Hellraiser movies.

  2. if this does not indicate to the people around this guy that he is SEVERELY mental ill, I don’t know what else would.

  3. I wonder why he was hiding in the closet to begin with.
    I can understand that the fishing pole and firearm might have been in the closet.
    I can understand that he might have been attached to the pole, and not had
    a knife to cut himself free, but most of us would have a cellphone on us.
    There had to be another way to signal for help.
    I know this is a stretch, but do you think drugs might have been involved ?

  4. This coulda been a lot worse. Poor Mr. Rump, uh, Rempe could have had a bullet lodged in his ass and tried flycasting to attract his neighbors. With little room for a backcast, I would have suggested a roll cast. Which makes just as much sense as what that moron actually did, or maybe a little more.

  5. I’d never use one of my 45’s to summon for help, I would have used one of my 500’s cuz theire a hell of a lot louder than any lil ole 45.


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