It all started, I suppose, with a simple yet familiar cry: YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! Actually, it all started with drinking (surprise surprise). And then, mutual accusations of cheating. (Nothing B9 there.) When his competitor decided to leave the playing field. Mr. Valenzuela grabbed the unnamed 17-year-old female relative by the hair, dragged her back into his trailer – hopefully after wiping his feet – and held a rifle to her head. The cops played a location game of their own and rescued the aggrieved gamer. As Mr. V attempts to raise 10 Gs (cash only) to secure his release we can only wonder if he’ll get access to the Milton Bradley’s military adventure behind bars.