Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day: Gilberto Martinez


Sometimes things can get hot in south Florida. In fact, Jose Diaz Martinez was pretty steamed when he found Gilberto Martinez (no relation) peeing on the sidewalk in front of his home a while back. You could probably say that the two engaged in something of a pissing match. Unfortunately, Gilberto didn’t confine himself to micturating. Instead, he pulled a gun and squeezed off a few rounds in Jose’s direction, hitting him at least once. Now, almost three months later, Johnny Law has finally caught up to Gilberto who’s in the hoosegow on an attempted second degree murder charge where he’s probably peeing in a trough with with his roommates and trying to make $50,000 bail. One thing he won’t be able to piss away, though is his IGOTD honorific. That, you keep for life.


  1. avatar William Burke says:

    Doesn’t it rain in Miami like twice a day? What possible reason is there to pick a fight with someone pissing on your sidewalk? It’s not remotely like pissing inside your shoes.

    1. avatar knightofbob says:

      That sidewalk really tied the yard together.

      1. avatar blackspike2710 says:

        Get off the internet right now.

        1. avatar Marcus Aurelius says:

          I think he just did get most of the internet off.

  2. avatar borg says:

    If Jose believed that Gilberto was armed he likely would have not picked a fight with him.

  3. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Gilberto pees on Jose’s sidewalk and SHOOTS him because he yelled at him? Wow don’t these guys understand embarassment?


  4. avatar Grumpy in Kali says:

    Peeing on the sidewalk in front of a residence? Geez….

    1. avatar Col. Angus says:

      Yeah. Where the hell did he think he was, New York City?

  5. avatar Kevin L says:

    Irresponsible? More like homicidal. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be pissed (so to speak) too, but that doesn’t justify lethal force.

    1. avatar Hannibal says:

      You’d be pissed that someone was upset for you peeing all over the sidewalk in front of their home? I would be embarrassed, and probably really drunk.

  6. avatar Ralph says:

    Jose’s lawn was pissed on and Gilberto got pissed off. I guess that sh1t happens.

  7. avatar borg says:

    Was the guy European or your a peeing.

    1. avatar Barstow Cowboy says:

      Europeans have a much more enlightened attitude about public urination, as well as gun ownership. This is a such an American story; it could never happen in Europe.

      1. avatar Dev says:

        It wouldn’t happen in Europe because it’s harder for people to own firearms, for the most part. Many of those European countries are finicky when it comes to human rights and freedoms.

  8. avatar Mike says:

    Well, I’d imagine Jose was pretty mad about the other guy marking his turf.

  9. avatar Kevin L says:

    I misread I thought the dude who’s sidewalk was getting pissed on shot, but now I see that wasn’t the case. You’re right, I’d be REALLY embarrassed.

  10. avatar Col. Angus says:

    Not terribly on topic, but back during the cocaine cowboy days there was a bumper sticker in south Florida…a big yellow smiley face with some simulated bullet holes around it, with the script:

    Come back to Miami….We weren’t shooting at *you*!

  11. avatar Nick D says:

    So Martinez found Martinez peeing on the sidewalk in front of Martinez’s house, and so Martinez got mad at Martinez and yelled at Martinez, but then Martinez drew a gun on Martinez and shot at Martinez, and even hit Martinez at least once. Now Martinez is in jail for attempted murder and being an IGOTD.

    This story is not confusing at all.

    1. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

      Would it help if their last names were ‘Smith’?

      1. avatar Nick D says:

        No, but if you changed the last names to Johnson, I could make a lot of double entendre’s.

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