Not being a gamer, it’s hard to grok the motivation of someone who’s so into an online game he’s willing to pay real cash money – and lots of it – for credits, or lives or whateverthehell passes for currency in the virtual world called RuneScape. But that’s the transaction that was supposed to go down at Fordham University last month when things deviated a little from what had been agreed upon. Humza Bajwa (above) wanted to buy 4.7 billion (with a ‘b’) “magic” coins or somesuch b.s. from another guy with way too much time on his hands named Jonathan Dokler. And he agreed to pay Dokler $3,300. No, really. So when Bajwa insisted on a face-to-face transaction, Dokler sent a friend, David Emani, to be his intermediary . . .
But from the start of the meetup, according the nypost.com, things didn’t look kosher to Emani who was talking to Dokler on his cell the whole time.
“He was transferring money from one envelope to another envelope, and I got a glimpse of it and it looked fake,” Emani said. “I was on the phone with John, and I said, ‘Don’t do it. It looks fake.’ ”
But Dokler wanted to continue with the transaction, even after Bajwa suddenly said he had to leave and asked to meet again the next night.
Maybe Emani’s a big guy and Dokler figured he could take care of himself.
Emani said he came prepared for the second meeting, in a classroom, with a real $100 bill to compare with Bajwa’s money. “I took it out and said, ‘The money you have is fake,’ ” said Emani. That’s when Bajwa went from white knight to fire-breathing dragon — pointing a realistic-looking BB gun at Emani, the complaint says.
Holding the fake pistol to Emani’s head, Bajwa forced him to tell Dokler he had the cash and to go ahead and transfer the electronic coins. Once he had confirmation that the RuneScape loot had officially changed hands, Bajwa took off.
Maybe Bajwa didn’t think stealing imaginary money using a fake gun constituted a real crime. Maybe the whole transaction was so unfathomably stupid, he figured neither Dokler nor Emani would squawk much about it. Or maybe Bajwa’s just a mouth-breathing douchebag who needs to get out of his mom’s basement a little more often.
One thing’s for sure, though. He’s lucky the transaction occurred in New York where it was a lot less likely Emani would pull his own (real) gun and plug the a-hole holding the BB gun to his temple.
But there’s good news for Bajwa! He definitely won’t be in the basement much at all any more. What with the grand larceny and second degree robbery charges he’s been hit with (there’s apparently no word yet from the feds on a possible counterfeiting beef), he’ll be spending a whole lot of time in either his lawyer’s office or a court room. And depending on how things turn out, he could be an honored guest of the people of New York state for as many as fifteen years.
So in addition to the renown Humza Bajwa’s earned for himself recently, we’d like to bestow upon him the additional distinction of naming him our IGOTD with all the honors and benefits pertaining thereto. That’s at least one thing he’ll have that no one will be able to claim isn’t real.
[h/t Mike J.]