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Not being a gamer, it’s hard to grok the motivation of someone who’s so into an online game he’s willing to pay real cash money – and lots of it – for credits, or lives or whateverthehell passes for currency in the virtual world called RuneScape. But that’s the transaction that was supposed to go down at Fordham University last month when things deviated a little from what had been agreed upon. Humza Bajwa (above) wanted to buy 4.7 billion (with a ‘b’) “magic” coins or somesuch b.s. from another guy with way too much time on his hands named Jonathan Dokler. And he agreed to pay Dokler $3,300. No, really. So when Bajwa insisted on a face-to-face transaction, Dokler sent a friend, David Emani, to be his intermediary . . .

But from the start of the meetup, according the, things didn’t look kosher to Emani who was talking to Dokler on his cell the whole time.

“He was transferring money from one envelope to another envelope, and I got a glimpse of it and it looked fake,” Emani said. “I was on the phone with John, and I said, ‘Don’t do it. It looks fake.’ ”

But Dokler wanted to continue with the transaction, even after Bajwa suddenly said he had to leave and asked to meet again the next night.

Maybe Emani’s a big guy and Dokler figured he could take care of himself.

Emani said he came prepared for the second meeting, in a classroom, with a real $100 bill to compare with Bajwa’s money. “I took it out and said, ‘The money you have is fake,’ ” said Emani. That’s when Bajwa went from white knight to fire-breathing dragon — pointing a realistic-looking BB gun at Emani, the complaint says.

Holding the fake pistol to Emani’s head, Bajwa forced him to tell Dokler he had the cash and to go ahead and transfer the electronic coins. Once he had confirmation that the RuneScape loot had officially changed hands, Bajwa took off.

Maybe Bajwa didn’t think stealing imaginary money using a fake gun constituted a real crime. Maybe the whole transaction was so unfathomably stupid, he figured neither Dokler nor Emani would squawk much about it. Or maybe Bajwa’s just a mouth-breathing douchebag who needs to get out of his mom’s basement a little more often.

One thing’s for sure, though. He’s lucky the transaction occurred in New York where it was a lot less likely Emani would pull his own (real) gun and plug the a-hole holding the BB gun to his temple.

But there’s good news for Bajwa! He definitely won’t be in the basement much at all any more. What with the grand larceny and second degree robbery charges he’s been hit with (there’s apparently no word yet from the feds on a possible counterfeiting beef), he’ll be spending a whole lot of time in either his lawyer’s office or a court room. And depending on how things turn out, he could be an honored guest of the people of New York state for as many as fifteen years.

So in addition to the renown Humza Bajwa’s earned for himself recently, we’d like to bestow upon him the additional distinction of naming him our IGOTD with all the honors and benefits pertaining thereto. That’s at least one thing he’ll have that no one will be able to claim isn’t real.

[h/t Mike J.]

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  1. Well,

    Even though the guy is still in mom’s basement, in touch with his inner gamer, and in alotta trouble, when he does his time in da big house, he will have all the time he needs to work on runescape because you know it would be “cruel and unusual punishment” to not feed his game addiction while in a federal lockup.

    On the other hand a pretty-boy like him will have to learn to do his gaming standing up once the hardcore felons get done with him…..

  2. is it really necessary to attack people who play games you don’t approve of in such a vicious – and inaccurate – manner? Why do you feel it necessary to degrade this person because of their hobby, when their actions prove their (lack of) worth much more loudly?

    Launching ad hominem attacks like this just degrades the level of reporting.

    • Gee, maybe I wasn’t clear. I dont recall attacking gamers in general or RuneScape players specifically. Only a couple of guys who are apparently so consumed by it that one of them felt it necessary to print his own money and hold another dude at simulated gunpoint to feed his addiction.

      But you’re right. Where’s the humor in that?

      • I’m not into these kind of games. But you’re using unnecessary pejoratives, personal insults, and you are basically acting as the flip-side to those who call 2nd Amendment supporters “mouthbreathing redneck prepper nutjobs”.

        Maybe I am having too high expectations that contributors to this blog would write to a higher standard than this?

      • The tone of your piece makes you seem somewhat less humorous, and more of an anachronistic Archie Bunker.

      • While I’m sure Bajwa is a douche bag, not all gamers are mouth-breathing rejects that live in their mom’s basement.

      • Dan called Bajwa a mouth-breathing douchebag. I read that as a reference to the robbery, not the douchebag’s video game habit.

        The worst he said about any other specific gamer (Dokler) was that he had “too much time on his hands”.

        I used to spend an awful lot of [read: way too much] time playing Quake. If I wasn’t working, eating, sleeping, or with my girlfriend (yeah, I had one, and I even lived on my own), I was playing CTF. Reading Dan’s post back in those days would not have offended me in the least – I would’ve presumed that the perjoratives were applied because of the perp’s moronic criminal behavior, not because of the way he legally (if unproductively) spent his leisure time.

  3. Wow, I remember playing this game way back. It was actually extremely popular to the point that during lunch in my high school, at least 75% of the computers in the library had this game open. But yeah, this guy looks like a complete douche. Is he trying to do duck lips? All he needs now are fake aviators and a polo to pop the collar.

  4. The most unreal thing I see in this entire amalgam of unreal is that this nitwit apparently got into college.

    • Higher education is less about academics and more about the money these days. When I was doing IT work for the local school district, I was deeply saddened by the policies they have. Most of all that teachers cannot issue a grade lower than 50%. Instead of finding a way to help them excel properly, they protect their fragile self esteem by not allowing them to completely fail. Guys like this shouldn’t be a surprise honestly.

  5. Not a great loss to society, although it stinks that the people of NY will pay for his living expenses.

  6. i am still stuck on the fact that he thought paying $3,300 of REAL money for fake video game money. So this guy is not only stupid, but also a lazy gamer, not wanting to earn the video game money for himself, a faux pas in his gamer realm i’m sure.

    • Its not surprising. In many cases its silly but many people waste their own money on things others might find stupid or worthless. “Why do you need that gun?” Or the ever popular, “What do you need a high capacity mag for?”. I got a variation of that from a family member who own’s guns but thought a glock 33rnd mag was a bit much.

      Diablo3 is the latest in real money for game money type games. There are many who’ve sold enough game loot to pay for the game itself ($60). I met one guy last year who claimed he’d sold his old everquest account to buy his first car.

      • At least we have something real to show for it…guns and hi-cap mags remain, when the internet is down.

  7. Humza Bajwa is just an innocent child I tell ya! Bumza err I mean Humza was turning his life around. He wanted to become a brain surgeon and do good. This is all the fault of Fordham University.

    Just kidding.

    • How is this “Obama’s World”? This game was released 11 years ago. Things like this have been happening for a long time, much longer than the 3 1/2 years Big O has been in office.

      • Seriously… And their has been Gold and Loot farming sense Diablo 2, which was 96/97 IIRC….

  8. If this kind of thing sparks your interest I suggest you guys take up Neil Stephenson’s last thriller “Reamde.” Not only does it have MMO players and gold farmers, but mixes Jihads, Russian mafioso, SEALs, survivalists and a whole lot of gun play mixed in.

    I used to be big into Age of Conan, but the company that published it didn’t really do a good job of keeping it going or making it work right. The biggest surprise for me when I read this at Kotaku was that people are still that into Runescape…

  9. geebus, you’re going to go to prison,fvuk up your life and future over a video game. the gene pool truly is stagnant.

    • I played some later versions of that. Graphics were great, almost lifelike, but the physics engine is just brutal…

      • I love this argument. I suppose if they had systems like Xbox or high end computers when you were a kid you would have shunned those for the great outdoors everyday. BS OFWG whining. When it’s 100 degrees outside most people would rather stay inside and kill zombies with life like 3d graphics than play with lawn darts outside and flirt with heatstroke.

        • Talk about whining…what a joke. You must have been (or still are) one of those fat lazy kids then…

          Lawn darts? Hardly. Try more like soccer, baseball, then bmx racing, then motocross racing while growing up as a kid…all in 100 plus degree heat. Never once complained. I was excited to go out and do sports. Now there’s a concept.

          I’m not that old, I’m only 40. We still had TV, hand-held video games, junk food, etc…plenty of stuff I could have done if I wanted to be a lazy, inside the house, recluse.

          Kids like you these days flirt with heatstroke because they don’t condition themselves to being outside. Now the times they DO go out, they can’t handle it…and WHINE. Bottom line.

          Hell, I still throw on the leather suit and hit the race track on 100+ degree days. Hot as hell yes (and I have nearly gotten heat stroke before), but it’s still so much better than sitting on the couch watching life go by (or “shooting zombies”).

          Yeah, you’re right…I guess the concept still stands…lazy ass people would rather stay inside (and pretend to live by playing with “life like” graphics) rather than go outside and actually live. “It’s too hot!” Roll eyes.

          • Hey buddy, gamers aren’t lazy people, they simply have different hobbies then you. I grew up playing a variety of games on a variety of platforms and I still made time to work my way into a very low level of collegiate ice hockey. I still hike, play airsoft, go camping, but I also took the time to join 24 man raids in MMOs and enjoy the scenery in Skyrim.

            Games a pastime like any other. Try not to be such a hyperbolic jerk.

            • Where do I say all gamers are lazy? Interesting how you read that. My post was “Agreed…and the way it should be. Kids need to get off their lazy, fat asses and get outside.”.

              Read this part SLOWLY liquidflorian; I am focusing on the fact that so many kids DON’T do other things and are way too focused on gaming, while they miss out on real life, real sports, real exercise, etc. It is becoming a huge issue globally, and I’m certainly not alone in that thought. It’s not about YOU, so relax.

              Also, I was replying to irock359, not you. In my second post, I was specifically replying to irock359’s “BS OFWG whining.” comment.

              I agree, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a healthy, balanced lifestyle that includes modern electronics/gaming. Hell, I’m on a PC right now.

              Also, why does what I say get your g-string panties so wadded up? Huh, “buddy”? PS: Don’t start with “buddy” and end with “jerk”. Doesn’t work.

        • Must be something wrong with my kids (ages 6, 8, and 10)…

          They spent much of their summer vacation in 90+ degree weather outside, running around with the neighbor kids and shooting each other with Airsoft guns (wearing jeans, long-sleeved shirts, and full face/ear protection), playing soccer, building forts, flying kites, hunting for bugs and reptiles, etc.

          When they got hot, they ran around in the sprinkler, had water balloon / squirt gun fights, or sat on the porch with a drink.

          And this at a house with 3 televisions, a Wii, 3 DSi machines, an iPod, 4 high-end computers, and an XBox.

  10. dokler sent his friend emeni to the meet instead of going himself. so he was thinking something might not be right so instead of risking himself he sent his buddy. if i was emeni i’d be beating the shit out of dokler about now.

  11. Video game money is a serious business; at one point, an economist calculated that Everquest was the world’s 77th largest economy ( In some Chinese prisons, prisoners are forced to play video games to make money for prison officials (

    Which lends a pretty weird spin to this story when you think about it; if Bajwa was in China, he might now be _forced_ to play a video game so that the virtual money he made could be sold to someone else.

  12. Sold my Warcraft account for $1500 and bought my AR and a new Leupold for my .308…and made my girlfriend happy all at the same time.

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