Incendiary Image of the Day: Umbrella Lock-Down Edition

Cal State San Marcos SWAT take down umbrella wielding man (courtesy


Just what in Sam Hill is going on in the image above? OK, we know that cops were responding to a call of a man with a rifle at Cal State San Marcos. “Campus police said they located the man shortly after 9 a.m.,” reports. “He was carrying an umbrella, not a weapon. But what up with all the rifle pointing? Especially as the man in question was a professor who called himself in. Strategically, this is nuts. [Make the jump for another angle.] If you have a choice, why take a guy in the open like that? And if you do, best get him our of there lickety-split. Just sayin’ . . .

Umbrella man surrenders (courtesy

[h/t MM]



    1. avatar Sixpack70 says:

      The guy must be an alien.

      1. avatar Mrbadnews says:

        If he were an alien they’d be trying to get him citizenship and a fresh pair of used underwear. Even if he was a space alien.

    2. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Keystone Kops strike again!

      And what is that HSLD Operator in the red shirt doing?

      1. avatar JAFO says:

        Checking his booger hook for fit and function?

      2. avatar Robert W. says:

        Preparing to be the first casualty.

      3. avatar Jim Barrett says:

        Striking a pose like he’s seen the TV Cops do.

    3. avatar IdahoPete says:

      Hey, “it never rains in California…”, so he MUST have been carrying a secret gun carefully disguised as an umbrella. “Hey, Sarge, where’s the trigger on this thing? OOOPS!”

  1. avatar pwrserge says:

    Can somebody explain to me why a CAMPUS POLICE DEPARTMENT has automatic rifles and class IIIA body armor? Did a frat throw one too many kegers so they decided to storm it like it was in Fallujah?

    1. avatar Vhyrus says:

      They need to look good while waiting for backup during the next campus shooting.

    2. avatar Toby in KS says:

      I schooled there. That school is not known for keggers. Its more of a commuter school, nicely populated with a broad spectrum of middle agers and 20 sumthins’. It is also a bastion of open socialism. As a history major, I was heavily exposed to the indoctrination there. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that the campus cops are armed to the teeth, stupidly clustered together in one spot, and pointing rifles at everything that moves.

      I learned a lot there. As I often say, there is a reason I no longer live in CA.

    3. avatar Nick says:

      Sheriff’s did the takedown. Campus and other agencies may have been helped. Campus police are state law enforcement and assist in all kinds of off-campus situations, so they are no different from any other agency. As goofy as this situation sounds, his umbrella was all black with a straight handle (not a standard “hook” handle), and a sling exactly like a rifle. Wearing a black shirt and a shaved head didn’t help. (Hey, it’s the guy from that FBI active shooter video!) I work across the street, and by all accounts it was handled well.

      1. avatar Curtis in IL says:

        If they were pointing guns at an unarmed man who did not threaten anyone, it was not handled well.

        1. avatar FedUp says:

          Bingo. And if the pointer in the shorts and sneakers had four cops in the crossfire, you can’t claim it’s for “officer safety purposes”. And the other two morons pointing in random directions? The only cure for that SWAT team is to fire all of them and anybody who trained with them. Was the SWAT team from the sheriff’s office or the local PD? Were the three jackhandles who were pointing rifles in the pic full time or reserve officers?

        2. avatar neiowa says:

          That shield is nifty too. Just the thing to stop the old KGB poison tipped umbrella trick.

        3. avatar rosignol says:

          I suppose what happened was better than having the cops conduct an investigation, figure out who he is, and then have SWAT raid his house (and trash the place, and shoot any dogs on the premises, and haul off all his electronics for 6 months)….

          …but none of it should have happened.

      2. avatar James says:

        Nobody NEEDS an umbrella with a straight handle! Or an assault sling! BAN THEM!!!

      3. avatar Diesel Mechanic11 says:

        Sweeping rifle at random passerbys and camera men? Seems like it was handled well. Yeah.

    4. avatar Jus Bill says:


    5. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      What makes you think they had automatic rifles, Shannon?

      1. avatar DickG says:

        It was black
        It had a thingie on the end that goes up
        It was scary.

        1. avatar v v ind says:

          Where do they sell the LE version of those things that flip up on the end?

      2. avatar Pwrserge says:

        Do you seriously think clowns like that would pass up surpluss M4s that the DoD is handing out like breath mints?

      3. avatar Hannibal says:


  2. avatar Franko says:

    I haven’t heard anyone say “What in the Sam Hill” since I was a boy growing up in Arkansas 40 or 50 years ago.

    1. avatar Hector Macho Camacho says:

      Yes……………..Sam Hill was George Washington’s illegitimate negro son born in 1771.

  3. avatar Michael says:

    Who are the two cops at the rear aiming at, another umbrella carrying terrorist?

    1. avatar BDub says:

      Securing the perimeter in case a protest breaks out.

      1. avatar Josh says:

        There won’t be a protest in that area. I don’t see a first amendment zone in the photos.

  4. avatar Rokurota says:

    There is no effing way I am ever “calling myself in,” not with Tactibobbie’s itchy trigger finger that can’t tell a Taser from a Glock. Way too much risk. Let ’em figure it out.

    (That, and the fact that I actually would be armed.)

    1. avatar Phil COV says:

      Agreed. He is a professor there, so he could have probably just gotten the day off in the confusion.

  5. avatar Jolly Roger That says:

    Modern Policing: If We Scare the People More Than the Terrorists Do, We Win

    1. avatar Rusty Chains says:

      You got that….If I figured it was my umbrella that caused the problem, I would ditch the damn umbrella. Those things are too cheap to be worth some asshole cop pointing a rifle at me. Way too much of a possibility of an AD. If I was in charge of those clowns they would be carrying nothing but mace ever again. One dead unarmed kid or professor with video of the stupidity would mean the school would be sued into oblivion (rightly so).

      1. avatar MamaLiberty says:

        Rusty said: “… too much of a possibility of an AD.”

        What about it would be ‘accidental?’ Please use the right terms…

        …possibility of a NEGLEGENT discharge.

        The whole incident is, of course, insane.

  6. avatar bambi schmidt says:

    President Obama is wanting to take our right away US law abiding citizensstop carrying gunsthat makes me Sick

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      I think we’re being invaded by the folks that write assembly instructions for ikea furniture…

      1. avatar scoutino says:

        Surely you mean “draw assembly instrucions”. I just hate IKEA – not only they sell junk, they also display “No Berettas!” sign on their door here in Illinois.

        1. avatar Rusty Chains says:

          Wow, guess you should carry Glock or Walther? Wonder why they hate Beretta? Must be some strange Swedish prejudice against the Italians.

  7. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    That’s a pretty sweet assault umbrella he’s got there. Or maybe we should call it a scary black umbrella? Wait: it’s California. So maybe it’s a ghost umbrella?

    1. avatar Sid says:

      I can’t tell from the photos, but if it is a golf umbrella it would qualify as a high capacity model.

  8. avatar Spectre_USA says:


    “Especially as the man in question was a professor who called himself in.”

    This is a complete disconnect for me.

    But I haven’t lived in Cali for over 20 years, and things may have changed a bit since then…

    1. avatar Nick says:

      Someone else reported “a man with a gun”. The professor knew it was him and his umbrella, so he called the sheriff dept. to let them know it was an umbrella, not a gun, and worked with them to get it resolved quickly and safely. Pretty smart.
      San Diego had about 4 inches of rain last year. People really don’t know what umbrellas look like.

      1. avatar DickG says:

        So then the question becomes:
        “Why was this professor carrying a black, high-capacity, scary umbrella, with a thingie on the end that goes up?”
        He should have a mental evaluation both for being a professor at a university AND for being allowed to mingle with others of his species.

        1. avatar sightpicture says:

          You mean he should have a mental evaluation for turning himself in right?

          How exactly does that work? He hears a report of a man fitting the description of Bald Bull with a rifle, decides ‘yep that’s me and my magic sunbrella’ and calls himself in? …. And, boy would he have felt dumb if a real shooter would have been there too!

  9. avatar John Fritz - HMFIC says:

    Is that guy standing on his tip-toes?

    I believe he is trying his damnedest to levitate for those gentlemen with the rifles.

  10. avatar Bob says:

    This is what a police state looks like.

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:


    2. avatar John Galt says:

      When I was a kid, I learned about about Nazi Germany, East Germany, Iron Curtain, Soviet Union, etc.

      I remember thinking, “Well, it’s a good thing I live in the United States, since that kind of police state could never happen here.”

      Clearly, I was naive and living in a dream world.

      I’ve woken up quite a bit in the past 10 years.

  11. avatar GAKoenig says:

    Anyone catch the story link just below the article on the Fox San Diego website?

    Deputy rolls through stop sign, hits civilian vehicle, seriously injures other driver…

    Civilian victim gets charged with DUI, Reckless, Driving without Headlights- by another deputy.

    Surveillance footage proves the original deputy was lying. Lady had to wait months for charges to be dropped, still hasn’t had her medical bills paid.

    Cops are rotten.

  12. avatar Anon says:

    Not only rotten, have I mentioned that the police WILL kill you?

  13. avatar Ralph says:

    Was it a push button automatic umbrella? Only the military should be allowed to have those.

    1. avatar Slick says:

      At least it didnt have a should thing that goes up

    2. avatar DickG says:

      OMG! Not a pushbutton, automatic umbrella! .
      Please, Please! I swoon at thought of one of these being in possession of anyone other than the Police, the military, or a Liberal politician.
      Why would anyone need such a scary device in Southern Kalifornica?

    3. avatar GS650G says:

      The umbrella has a Rain Button making it CA legal, with the proper permits of course.

  14. avatar former water walker says:

    Hmmm…weren’t a bunch of folks posting on this blog about a “good shoot” when a possibly deranged young woman got shot to death while pointing a POWER DRILL?!? Who can’t tell an umbrella isn’t a rifle? DUH indeed.

  15. avatar Larry says:

    ” a black shirt and shaved head didn’t help” , and awhile back another poster complained about cops with shaved heads and wrap around

    I think us bald guys need to be a protected class.

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Fingerless gloves with carbon fiber knuckle protectors and no motorcycle nearby is a BIG clue.

  16. avatar Thomas Reed says:

    It does appear as if they are taking a high profile position, almost to the point of brandishing. Actually, in my work it would be called brandishing. Not really sure what is going on here in the picture. However, I disagree with one statement. If I am going to take someone down it is best done out in the open where I have a good field of fire and a better idea of where my rounds will be going. Unlike the movies, bullets go through walls and I don’t have x ray vision so I have no clue what is on the other side of a wall. As for why they are pointing their rifles in every direction that is a totally useless posture especially if you have no real idea where the threat is. When you have your head in the sights your field of view is reduced greatly. Instead, you hold the weapon at the ready so you can bring it up quickly, keep your head up and sweep the surrounding area for threats. Something else I am not all that sure about is the use of AR’s in congested area like a collage. Keeping a couple of AR’s for isolating and taking out a target at long range is a good idea but for congested areas a shotgun is more effective and less likely to create collateral damage. They look like the Keystone Cops. One other question? Doesn’t the campus have a surveillance system? Stupid to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a surveillance system and not use it. It is obvious that they didn’t or they wouldn’t have gone after a man with an umbrella.

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Or the droid that stares at the monitors had the day off for a psych eval or something.

  17. avatar Fuque says:

    ” Keep your rifles at the ready boys, he may have a dog”

  18. avatar Fox Mulder says:

    All these recent shooting are false flags hoaxes which set up precedents for stuff like this to happen. It’s sad people overreact in this way.

  19. avatar Royal Tony says:

    Are those the High Speed Low Drag Opererator Cargo Shorts I saw on cheaperthandirt?

  20. avatar JAFO says:

    What exactly can be said of presumably adult-age people who can’t distinguish between a Rifle and an umbrella? Not much, but since it is after all, an institute of higher learning, maybe flash-cards might help.

    The Keystone Cops were Mostly Harmless. As for the Goonstone Squad on scene, one can only hope their Supervisor had the good sense to keep the bullets securely stored and didn’t issue any. Fortunately for the victim, he wasn’t out delivering newspapers.

    Re: the photo depicting the maroon in the camo shorts with his Rifle aimed at the good professor?
    Comment Withheld on Moral principles, but suffice it to say that in addition to No Apple Pie for that guy — serious counseling wouldn’t be a bad idea before he does something that’s worse than just plain stupid.

  21. avatar Paul53 says:

    Cops sure give educated gun owners a bad rep!

    Automatic weapons? My how times have changed! In college one prof inspired me to try to make a “granny grenade” but shooting her seemed so gauche!

  22. avatar A samurai says:

    Wait wait wait… Am I high or something. This is blowing my mind. This is completely insane. Are you telling me that a law abiding man cant walk down the street in CA with an umbrella without fear of having SWAT called out on him? Seriously what the hell is going on here? Is this how cowardly and fearful we are becoming in America that if you happen to be holding something black and cylindrical expect the cops to show up with their ARs because people are terrified? Of things that are black? and Cylindrical?

    I remember when the American legal system was governed by the ideal, “Innocent until proven guilty” and if people called the police on you for no reason THEY got in trouble. Apparently now our ideals are, “Innocent until holding an umbrella.” I ask again, am I high? Or did the whole world lose it’s collective mind while I was sleeping?

    1. avatar Gene says:


      Pretty much, yes.

      It’s been going downhill for a while, now, and No, it’s not “Innocent until holding an umbrella”. It’s more along the lines of “you’re a felon that hasn’t been caught yet”. Now, where’s my maul? There’s a fly buzzing around.

    2. avatar sightpicture says:

      Ding, ding ding…. Winner!
      Supposed to be innocent til guilty but more often treated as guilty until I clear you to be innocent lowly civilian.
      Because, you know… it’s for the safety of those officers that they have all those weapons. To hell with the safety of others when rounds go astray in the streets or into a dog. Why it’s for the good of many not the few. (/Sarc)
      Really once the guy called himself in couldn’t someone undercover or covertly checked him out, came and talked to him . You know with police nearby but ready, but not causing a scene or panic?
      If this had been subversive and it was just ploy to draw cops in those cowboy commandos would have been toast.

  23. avatar Keith E. Whisman says:

    Looks like their department needs a visit from Eddie Eagle.

  24. avatar DaveL says:

    I think it’s pretty screwed up that the prof heard someone had called the cops about a man with a gun, and thought “they must mean me, since I have this umbrella. “

    1. I know, right? That makes no sense at all…then again, we are talking about a professor. How did he know that there wasn’t a real gunman somewhere else on campus? So he calls himself in (whatever that means) and draws all the attention to himself while the gunman shoots up the faculty lounge. Like my father used to say: You can never underestimate the intelligence of a human being.

      1. avatar lizzrd says:

        Just might have had something to do with the fact that he matched the description exactly…

        1. Must be a bitch to be a black male, 5’9″-6’0″ 175-190lbs, 18-30 years old wearing jeans and a dark hoodie.

    2. avatar Hannibal says:

      Kinda makes me wonder if there’s not something weird with this… like if he was pointing it out a car window or something. Still ridiculous.

  25. avatar Josh Wood says:

    Are cops really a good idea? Not convinced.

  26. avatar Doug says:

    Californica morons.

  27. avatar Anon says:

    The good news is it only took 9 cops.

    if I was the guy I’d sue the cops for pointing a rifle at me.

  28. avatar James says:

    The Real Tripple B (look him up on youtube!!!) said it best:

    What happened to the home of the brave? Are we now the home of the scared of our own shadow? I wish I was reading The Onion….man was still held at gun point and cuffed over holding an umbrella.

    Americans should never fear gunmen; gunmen should be pissing their pants worried about what a bunch of fire-shitting, snake-eating Americans will do to them.”

    And seriously?

    I get the “Hey that looks like a rifle!” I get the “OMG We’re lookking for a guy with a rifle everybody keepy your eyes peeled!” I get the “Hey guys, I’m pretty sure that scary bald guy in a black shirt with a rifle you’re looking for was me… I had an umbrela.”…


  29. avatar Wiregrass says:

    Never know. Maybe he also had tophat and cigarette holder and kind of waddled when he walked. Better call Batman.

  30. avatar Shane at Chandler says:

    What is cop in red shirt aiming at? The Grassy knoll?

  31. avatar Daniel says:

    Seriously, has nobody yet mentioned that it was a “tactical umbrella?”

  32. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    Inquiring minds want to know: has Don Lemon weighed in regarding the ease of purchase of one of these umbrellas?

    1. Had it not been for the ground being wet from recent rain, I would have had no mercy on this fellow. Paul T. McCain and I would join the fight to belittle this mouth breather for this shameful display of an umbrella ninja on a sunny day.

  33. avatar GS650G says:

    What a bunch of pansies all dressed up in their combat gear and shiny black rifles.
    Toss a firecracker over there and they would all hit the deck in a second.

  34. avatar LordGopu says:

    They have all that gear but no one has binoculars or a scope that they could have used to look at the guy to see he wasn’t carrying a rifle?

  35. avatar john seagus says:

    Again, why is this an issue. They came out and neutralized the situation. No one was shot so God wanted that guy to live another day. Good for him, but he probably did something like fornication or adultery and deserves to die. Maybe next time he will.

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