Gun Thief Was Beaten, Pistol-Whipped Trying to Sell Them to…Other Crooks

Head injury. Mature man with bandaged forehead


There once was a burglar from Kalamazoo
who broke in and stole eighteen guns, plus two.
While selling them for cash,
on his head he was bashed,
and soon he’ll face drug charges, too.

The thing about trying to unload stolen guns on the street is your customers are generally less than upstanding citizens. Frequently they’re downright questionable types, the kind of people who might even steal the goods you’re trying to sell them.

So when an un-named Michigander tried to unload some of the 20 firearms he’d pilfered from a home in Barry County, his prospective customers used one of those stolen gats to beat the hell out of him and made off with the rest.

From . . .

[Kalamazoo Public Safety Capt. Craig Habel] said authorities became aware of the situation when the man showed up at Bronson Methodist Hospital Monday. Police responded to the hospital on a report the man was suffering from a gunshot wound.

“Once we got there, it was determined he wasn’t shot, but that he was pistol-whipped in the head,” Habel said. “He said someone drove him to the hospital, but that person left the area quickly.”

Police located the vehicle the man was transported in and, while preparing to impound the vehicle, conducted a search and found a stolen handgun and blood inside, Habel said.

The gun, Habel said, was identified as one of several firearms stolen during a home invasion earlier the same day, Feb. 3, in the 12000 block of M-43 in Barry County.

When they searched the man’s home, they found the rest of the guns from that burglary plus a few others and “a large amount of methamphetamine.”

The man was arrested by the state police and is being lodged at the Barry County Jail on charges related to the home invasion in Barry County. He is expected to be arraigned within the next two days.

The local 5-0 is now looking for the disreputable customers who pistol-whipped the gun seller. Caveat venditor



  1. avatar James Campbell says:

    Nature is a mother, and Karma is a BITCH.
    All is right in the universe. Taurus still thinks I’m a chore right? If so, it’s all good.

    1. avatar I Haz A Question says:

      He called you a choad, not a chore. Been speaking Engrish long?

      1. avatar James Campbell says:

        Oh well, that makes things BETTER then good.
        Thanks for that clarification.

        1. avatar I Haz A Question says:

          Sometimes Google Translate doesn’t handle those pesky cyrillic Russian words into English properly. Must be frustrating for you.

        2. avatar James Campbell says:

          After posting the GB auction details on the NATO spec Steyr AUG purchased for my sons Christmas gift, you think I’m a foreigner???
          The dumb is strong with this one.

  2. avatar Shire-man says:

    Buyers must have become enraged when the seller demanded a background check.

    1. avatar possum and the Coons of Doom says:

      LOL good one

  3. avatar kahlil says:

    There should have been a background check for that private transaction…

    1. avatar enuf says:

      ^^___ THIS RIGHT HERE ___^^

      Nobody should be permitted to own methamphetamine without going thru a background check … and a waiting period too!!!

    2. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

      If the Left gets their way, the victim of the burglary will be blamed and charged for the assualt and battery for allowing the Meth head “access” to their guns in the first place.

      1. avatar OBOB says:

        you left off the gun owner “lured” him in just by having the guns to steal!
        that’s a high felony!

  4. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

    Barry county & Meth, you don’t say. I’m glad this guy got a dose of Karma. I hope the rightful owners of said firearms get them returned quickly.

  5. avatar NORDNEG says:

    I’m kinda surprised that Michigan hasn’t gone after the home owner for leaving 20 guns laying around,,,especially where any rug rat or street rat can just walking away with them…

  6. avatar Sam Hill says:

    There should be a law against stealing weapons without a background check. That would have prevented that from happening for sure.

  7. avatar Will says:

    Your daily dose of schadenfreude!

    1. avatar Jon in CO says:

      You spelled “pseudoephedrine” wrong…

  8. avatar I Haz A Question says:

    I knew this was going to be good when I read the word “Kalamazoo”…

  9. avatar StLPro2A says:

    He’s a victim. Guns grabbed him off the street and forced him to take them away.

  10. avatar napresto says:

    Steeling Glocks makes them more durable, or so I hear…

  11. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    I love limericks!

    1. avatar Rokurota says:

      I love limericks in the proper meter.

      1. avatar Nero "...diction, not grammar..." Wolfe says:

        With apologies to Dan, and rather hastily done:

        There once was a doped Michigander,
        Who stole guns to trade for a bender.
        He was looking to score,
        But crook two wanted more,
        So much for trying to pander.

        1. avatar Young King says:

          Yall Really sound dumb af, just cuz u read something on the internet doesnt make it true..A few facts from the actualy Police report
          A He wasnt robbed with one of the stolen Guns. 2 random guys came around a corner with pump shotgun and pistol cocked in his face
          B. The address on Bryant st wasnt his apartment whatsoever, hes never actually lived there. Although, it is his mailing address on his ID, The state Police picked him up the next morning at his home in portage, weres hes lived for five years
          C. Hes not associated with the meth, the guns another story but the Meth belonged to a Meth Dealer that actually lived on Bryant St
          D. He originally went to the apartment complex to get his neice of the school bus because nobody else was available, someone seen him Legally Open Carry his registered firearm, ask if he had more
          And he’s definitely in the Wrong but if ur going to bash someone at least make the poems truthful, the house was raided with 21 guns, he was robbed for 13 guns and one stolen found in his truck.. For a grand total of 35 guns, so u probably need to revise ur poem

        2. avatar Hugh Glass says:

          English, do you speak it?!

  12. avatar Timothy Toroian says:

    I like kahlil’s comment.

  13. avatar D says:

    Play stupid games, when stupid prizes

  14. avatar Dennis says:

    Has Doomberg been notified yet? Sure he’ll have a perfect response!

  15. avatar PM in Fl. says:

    This whole post plus responses is a real hoot!!!

  16. avatar former water walker says:

    Meth is a helluva’ drug😃😎😏😍

  17. avatar GomeznSA says:

    The ‘victim’ wouldn’t be dontray mills by any chance? Or was he from Wisconsin………………….

  18. avatar Leighton Cavendish says:

    Some good news…lol

  19. avatar possum and the Coons of Doom says:

    One reason a person needs a couple or three cohorts. Back alley sales are dangerous

  20. avatar Michael says:

    I love and always have loved a good bedtime story

  21. avatar John Galt says:

    Why all the effort to hide the name? Who is the A$$hole???

    1. avatar Gordon in MO says:

      In today’s world the media protects the perp and pushes to prosecute the victim.

      Because guns.

  22. avatar BRAD says:

    Selling hot guns on the street
    Runs the risk of your face getting beat.
    No doubt this case leaves,
    ’bout honor ‘mongst thieves,
    When two scumbags should happen to meet.

  23. avatar Yupyup says:

    You are all taking about karma yet your making jokes of someone who could have lost his life you don’t know anything about this young man this young man has never been in any trouble in his life witch is more than i can say for most of you I’m sure. Second this young man has a mother and sister and kids that are also going threw this so think about that what if it was your son or your brother hell it could have been you we all make mistakes and he is going to pay for his crimes and yes he was wrong but if ak47s are illegal and automatic guns why in the hell did they give them back and wth is someone doing with that many guns anyway sounds like another blood bath to me. Come on how would you feel if you were him or in his mother’s shoe reading all this bs

  24. avatar Anthony Bell says:


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