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Antoine Petty (courtesy

In my younger days, I had a bit of a lead foot. Osmium, actually. More than once I ended up on the wrong end of the law. So when it came time to choose a license plate at the DMV I never ever considered a vanity plate. Why make it easy for someone to remember my plate? Now that I’m older the same rule applies to everything: my car, house and guns are conspicuous by their non-conspicuousness. OK the Mercedes Cialis is a bit bling, but, as Edna Mode says, no capes! I mean, no tattoos. While the guy above doesn’t have a gun tat, reports that “Police say 30-year-old Antoine Petty is wanted for stealing a gun from an acquaintance in Largo, Md., on Monday. Petty has many distinctive tattoos on his face and is known to frequent the Largo and Forestville areas.” It’s only a matter of time.

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  1. A great tattoo is a work of art, but a bad tattoo is a piece of sh*t forever. These are beyond bad. They look like they were done with Magic Markers. By a blind wino.

    • Are those really tattoos, or did someone pass out at a party with Sharpies & cruel friends? 😉

    • Dropped some major bitcoin on that ink! Just think of the things he could have done had he saved his tattoo money – bought a French fry, a new tooth brush, paid his overdue library book fines, put eleven ounces of gas in his Chevy Monza.

    • When your tattoo artist is chosen by who is closest in the cell block, it’s hard to be picky…

  2. “Gee, I don’t know, Occifer. I can’t say for sure if that’s the guy who mugged me.”

  3. Jeez! Some peoples kids! No officer, it must have been another person with tattoos all over his face. Why are you harassing my?

    Just a wild guess here, but I bet he does drugs. In the ER we would call him a self propelled toxic waste dump. SPTWD pronounced “spitwad.”

  4. Appears to be a lack of planning . . . . done by a 4-year old, and it’s quite the resumé enhancer.

    • But since he hangs out in Largo and Forestville the PG po-po will never be able to pick him out of the crowd.

  5. When did Cialis come out with a Mercedes branded pill?

    Perhaps you should check the old voice dick-tation thing-a-ma-bob

  6. Why can’t any of the people who thinks a face tattoo is a good idea just go ahead and get “POOR IMPULSE CONTROL” on their forehead?

    If you’re going to eff up your mug forever, you might as well make a nice book reference.

    Maybe they’re not big readers.

  7. So, he has YHWH, the Hebrew name for God, a Christian cross, and a pentagram all drawn in a line on his forehead? Is he trying to hedge his bets for what deity he’ll meet if and when somebody mistakes the ninja star between his eyes as a bullseye?

  8. The hair do, or don’t, goes nice with the decorative face art! This dude has an ” attitude” for sure. He wants everyone to know he’s a bad hombre! I wonder how his face would look straddling some crosshairs.

  9. If you’re going to post mug shots of every tatted up idiot who steals a gun, you’ll need to hire more staff.

  10. I may be mistaken (and often am), but I find this more sad than funny. Once upon a time I volunteered to help in what is now called a “Special Education” class. There is no end to what some people will do those who are easily suggestible.

    Just ask the BATFE.

  11. I think I’m getting “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum” on my shoulder, possibly surrounding an AR.

    My only apprehension is that I’m 21, and may not think it’s cool at 41.

    That’s why I’ll just get it now so I can’t not do it later :p

    • No, the statement is, “Fuck all y’all. I don’t care to be part of what you call ‘society.'”

    • Yes, people should go and wear a collar and recite stories from your mythological storybook.

    • That’s almost as funny as Sarah Palin’s actual daughter who got knocked up and then tried to go around lecturing girls on not getting pregnant, etc.

      • The idea of someone sharing their experience as a good reason not to make the same mistake actually is quite a credible idea.

  12. We need to bring back the “Your honor, that man needed killing.” laws in this country. When you’re so phucked up carny folk won’t have you maybe the species is better off without you.

    Every life is sacred my ass.

  13. This guy is a stooge. Face tats are, at best, a poor decision. This is probably worse than getting “ass hole” around your mouth.

    • That has been my worst nightmare. My step daughter has not had made the best choices in men in the past, but so far, all have surpassed this clown.

  14. What would you do if your 17 yr. old daughter told you she was going on a date that weekend with a nice gentleman she met in church, and this this piece of shit showed up at your door step?

    • If you lived in Texas, you could say “Well, yer honor, the sumbitch needed killin’.”

      And the jury would agree.

      • Because the nice gentleman she met in church surely couldn’t be the same as this guy, just not the same as far as outward appearance, since as we all know, that’s all that matters.

        • Certainly outward appearance is not all that matters, but first impressions on appearance usually indicate, to a large degree, what’s on the inside!

        • Normally, outward appearances are not so important, but the decision making process in THIS guy’s outward appearance says LOSER with no doubt in my mind.

  15. Any tattoos above the shoulder line mean “The cost of my incarceration will exceed the value of any taxes I may pay”.

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