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Gun Rights Policy Conference. Finally.

Back in the day, when my second marriage was imploding in a drug-addled haze (not mine) and the owners of my first website were doing everything in their power to make me regret selling my baby for Blue Cross bennies, I suffered from combat level stress. Now, after hitting reset, I’m good to go. Well, I thought I was good to go. And then last night Lola begged me not to leave and I forgot that I hadn’t taken my Zolpidem and didn’t get to sleep until 3am (after sleep eating God knows what) and Philly held the Barbie plane on the tarmac in Providence for an hour until Mitt Romney’s ride could piss off and I (eventually) discovered that the Hyatt’s rooms didn’t have a Mac compatible cable or WiFi. So here I am in the fourth room where I can pick-up Orlando Airport’s free Internet breathing deeply. K? Right. Gun Rights Policy Conference. First impression . . .

I’ve never seen so many SMFVs (Shoot Me First Vests) on OFWGs (Old Fat White Guys) in one place at one time—outside of a salmon fishing competition. Not that I hang out at salmon fishing competitions. But I am hanging out here on your behalf. There will be plenty of coverage–now—of George Zimmerman’s lawyer, John “Death by Stats” Lott, Emily “T2 Arms” Miller and the rest of the zany crew of gun rights advocates.

Tonight it’s a reception to which I am headed in T-minus fifteen. Just long enough to be thankful my red green color blindness precludes me from seeing the disco-era carpet in its full glory. And wonder why I didn’t get a FL carry license before coming here. Packing heat in a room overlooking the TSA’s disarmament process would have been quite a treat.

In fact, the Florida Appleseed Project managers Janet Smith [above] and her husband promised to bring their M1 Garand to breakfast tomorrow (bangs and mash?) and pose in front of the same window. Meanwhile, I asked him if his “this is our rifle this is my gun” education efforts attracted people of color.

“We’ve had a couple,” he said. “Everyone’s welcome . . . I mean I haven’t gone into a black church recruiting people, but I haven’t gone a white church either.”

I reckon he should. SAFE = Share Americans Firearms Equally. Stoli makes me creative that way.

So, watch this space. And a big shout out to Kate, a woman with the greenest eyes I (haven’t) ever seen who says she’s going to write about guns for TTAG’s Armed Intelligentsia, whose shared iPod bridged the generation gap and made the flight seem short and sweet. Unless, of course, I dreamed the whole thing.



  1. avatar Tommy Knocker says:

    Just saw the post that Otis McDonald is in critical condition at the hospital. What a sad situation.

    1. avatar Robert Farago says:

      You really know how to cheer a guy up.

  2. avatar jwm says:

    somebody with worse vision problems than RF picked that carpet. That’s just about butt ugly.

    1. avatar g says:


      It’s like a broken RGB monitor puked its base colors out on a rug…

      1. avatar Larry says:

        Back in the day….I absolutely loath that expression. It sounds so stupid and doesn’t mean squat.

  3. avatar Michael B. says:

    Welcome to Orlando. If you’re gonna travel around, avoid South Orange Blossom Trail. And North Orange Blossom Trail for that matter. Stay out of the Parramore area downtown, too. Oh! And Eatonville.

    1. avatar Michael B. says:

      Crime Hills (Pine Hills) is a no-go as well. Forgot about that one. Unless you want to star in your own DGU of the week.

    2. avatar Fyrewerx says:

      If you have time, and haven’t seen one yet, check out Gander Mountain’s Academy with the high tech situation simulators, in Lake Mary.

      1. avatar irock350 says:

        I love Gander Mnt. I did the virtual sim a couple of months back. It’s almost worth the money, but it’s still a cool experience.

  4. avatar Frank says:

    I lol’d at “T2 Arms”.

  5. avatar jkp says:

    Oh. OFWG = Old FAT white guys?

    I always thought the “F” was for [expletive deleted].

    1. avatar jwm says:

      While I am an ofwg i still manage to do the expletive deleted every so often. Then I’m a happy ofwg.

      1. avatar mike marriam says:


    2. avatar Peritas says:

      Yeah, took me a while before I realized that too.

      1. avatar Jarhead1982 says:

        BUFF = B-52 Stratfortress

        PC Interpretation = Big Ugly Fat Fellow, LOL

  6. avatar Moonshine7102 says:

    This will probably get me in trouble, but…

    Insomnia and R/G color blindness? Watch very carefully who your kids marry. Please.

    1. avatar Tobias says:

      So, are you saying that it would be an abomination for a white woman to date/ marry a man of color? Clarify, and don’t hide your racism in vague statements. Come on out with it, no holds barred. Don’t be a coward.

      1. avatar Azman says:

        Unless I’m very mistaken he was talking about genetics, tobias. Calm down.

        1. avatar JoshinGA says:

          Seconded. Looks like a poorly worded attempt about genetics.

      2. avatar Moonshine7102 says:

        My wife is Japanese. I’m white. You’ll have to look for racism elsewhere, Tobias. Mixed race children typically do not present recessive genetic traits.

  7. avatar philthegardner says:

    I can’t say for sure what took my breath away ~ the carpet or the pale, spindly legs exposed by the (too short) shorts of the ofwg…

    1. avatar jwm says:

      I’m glad you brought that up. Pink shirt white shoes and black socks combined with nut huggers. Only an ofwg spending the weekend away from his wife would dress like that. And he’s no doubt going to hit the bar later to look for some action.

  8. avatar Peritas says:

    Nothing like a pink shirt, short black shorts, and black socks with sneakers to solidify your OFWG image.

  9. avatar Aharon says:

    “And a big shout out to Kate, a woman with the greenest eyes I (haven’t) ever seen who says she’s going to write about guns for TTAG’s Armed Intelligentsia”

    — RF, this promise is worthless without a photo.

    1. avatar Setexas says:

      Maybe he was dreaming of upton

  10. avatar CCW Guy says:

    I pray you are not dressed like that

  11. avatar 16V says:

    “Cocaine’s a helluva drug.” -Rick James

  12. avatar spymyeyes says:

    Just because RF said :

    “when my second marriage was imploding in a drug-addled haze (not mine)”

    it does NOT mean illegal drugs were being used.

    Anyways, remember RF that getting there is half the fun!!!!!

    Take it from someone who suffered through & survived 11 months of chemo that those drugs do NOT have to be illegal to keep you in a ” drug haze” condition.

    Give the guy a break already.

  13. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    the pink shirt really rounds out that ensemble

  14. avatar elnonio says:

    Combat-level stress?? I wonder if people will chime in, what with the increased militarization of the police and now the press…

  15. avatar BambiB says:

    Wow. With all the cool things going on at the GRPC, I’m surprised that Robert’s comments included a criticism of the carpet, how people were dressed, green eyes (that he couldn’t tell were green) and a list of hokey somewhat disparaging nicknames for the guest speakers.

    I was there. I saw all the same things. But I wasn’t there to do a fashion review, criticize the decor, make fun of the speakers or moon over someone whose eyes might have been blood red (as far as Robert know, anyway).

    Robert, you get an “F” for relevancy on this one.

    1. avatar JoshinGA says:

      Maybe you missed the other coverage. This was the opening salvo, the warm up so to speak…Well, I liked his other coverage anyway. YMMV.

      1. avatar BambiB says:

        Wasn’t a comment on any other coverage, but rather a comment on the utter irrelevancy of this posting. As if he didn’t have anything worth saying, but felt compelled to say it anyway.

        And yes, YMMV.

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