For whatever reason this one really cracks me up. Valhalla Wear’s Instagram feed is full of solid memes.

 

90 COMMENTS

  1. Also the same look as when he pulls out a pencil to sign the credit card slip.

    • And then ends up getting into a kung fu fight where he kills 3 guys with that pencil.

        • “Who does that!!??”

          The Russian crime lord telling his obnoxious brat son that it was a really bad idea to steal John Wick’s late 60s Mustang and kill his dog.

          Viggo Tarasov : It’s not what you did, son, that angers me so. It’s who you did it to.

          Iosef Tarasov : Who? That fucking nobody?

          Viggo Tarasov : That “fuckin’ nobody”… is John Wick. He once was an associate of ours. They call him “Baba Yaga.”

          Iosef Tarasov : The Boogeyman?

          Viggo Tarasov : Well John wasn’t exactly the Boogeyman. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman.

          Iosef Tarasov : [stunned] Oh.

          Viggo Tarasov : John is a man of focus, commitment, sheer will… something you know very little about. I once saw him kill three men in a bar… with a pencil, with a fucking pencil. Then suddenly one day he asked to leave. It’s over a woman, of course. So I made a deal with him. I gave him an impossible task. A job no one could have pulled off. The bodies he buried that day laid the foundation of what we are now. And then my son, a few days after his wife died, you steal his car and kill his fucking dog.

          Iosef Tarasov : Father, I can make this right.

          Viggo Tarasov : Oh? How do you plan that?

          Iosef Tarasov : By finishing what I started.

          Viggo Tarasov : [irritated, turning to Avi] What the… did he hear a fuckin’ word I said?

          Iosef Tarasov : [in Russian] Dad, I can do this! Please!

          Viggo Tarasov : [pulls Iosef close, talks into his ear] Iosef, Iosef! Listen! Huh? John will come for you, and you will do nothing because you can do nothing, so get the fuck out of my sight!

    • “The lining? Tactical.”

      The Sommelier (who has never been known to not be in) was also outstanding.. 😉

  2. John wick is laughable. Same hollywood shit just a new style. The subway scene is by far the worst. All those people and they don’t hear that shit? Fuck outta here… Mr. Wick. Also, I wear brown pants, so jokes on you.

    • I agree. All the internet keyboard warriors love these fucking horrible movies.
      People reenact this nonsense on YouTube. “Keanu trained with special forces.”
      “What happened”? “Some goofy looking guy took a shot at me, dropped his gun and ran away”.
      He looked like the guy in Bill and Ted but much older.

      Like Jack Reacher. In the books he is 6 ‘5″ and built like a tank.
      Tom Cruise claims he is 5’7″ but he is 5’4″ on a good day.
      “Tom Cruise trained with special forces.”
      “What happened”?
      I was attacked by an older midget who punched me in the balls and then ran away.”

      These are great comedies.

      • He “trained” with that fat fuck that owns Taran Tactical.

        Shitty overpriced base plates and mods for speed shooters. Are they good shots? Yes. Is there some level of training that’s retainable? Yes. But it’s clear the real benefits of that bullshit and the tacticool gear that comes with it benefits the movie scenes more than actual shooters.

        Also, Bill and Ted remake? Lmfao… Just when I thought they couldn’t top the terribleness of “SPEED”…

        • So they have skill and can shoot, but you still dismiss them?
          Because it not how YOU tacticool?
          Offends your tender feelings on guns and gear?
          Po Baby
          Most aftermarket stuff is overpriced…. its small companies make money.
          The TT +1 I use on my glock 43 is overpriced at 20 bucks. Plus I had to a piece of grip tape. But it works at almost the same size as the flat stock plate.
          The Ghost +1 (polymer) I use on my spare mags is also overpriced at 10 bucks.
          Capitalism costs money.

        • Offends me?

          Ok, bootlicker. Welcome back btw. Been hiding through 2020?

          Consumerism costs money, the marketing for it has you believing you are a capitalist. Fail.

    • Typical of the Hollywood formula, the first one’s great, the sequel is just good enough to warrant a third, and that’s when it becomes just unwatchable. As far as the subway scene, I’ve never been to NYC (nor will I ever) but I’m pretty sure knife fights on the subway are daily occurrences there, so I suppose the locals just ignore them.

      • No, I was referring to the shootout they had in the subway, or bus station, or whatever crowded venue it was in. Suppressors… Amiright?

    • I’ve never gotten around to seeing any of the Wick movies. I’m not the biggest Keanu Reeves fan to begin with, and the trailers always looked kinda “meh” to me.

      Then again, I’m of the opinion that Highlander is the greatest movie ever made, so you know, there’s that, too…

      • You’re not alone. I’ll watch all the crap tv and movies on rerun when I’m cognitively impaired in the nursing home instead of trying to be president of the United States.

      • I can’t remember the last actual movie in a theater that I attended. I gave up 20 years or so back because I don’t want my money supporting the bedwetter, woke crowd in “Hollywood” who absolutely hate America, and me.

        When I was a kid, nearly every male actor had served in WW2, many in actual combat roles. They were believable because they’d actually done something other than miming a piece of bacon frying in a pan in some left-wing acting school. Ditto all of the male school teachers I had- all had been in the service and truly could speak about “the real world” since they’d actually been there and seen the other side of the American alternative.

        I don’t watch movies on TV, either. If the latest starlet came up and unzipped my fly I wouldn’t know who she is. And I did say “she”…

        Seriously, in today’s world, Barney Fife is more believable than most TV/movie cops, IMO. And, BTW- WTH’s with a TV show called “Chicago PD”? Don’t these idiot writers even know what goes on in Chicago every stinking day? Not a swipe at their schackled and hamstrung Peeps in Blue, but are they even allowed to solve crimes there and bring the perps to a court of law, let alone justice?

        Not buying into the virtual world these freaks are offering, not their special effects or memes, either. After 55 years or so of shooting activity I have a pretty good idea of what is possible. One guy against the world ain’t it.

        https://youtu.be/wX3hRj6XoUM
        https://youtu.be/0OHH49vtl2g

        • I am not a member of the NRA anymore or I would vote for you.
          I said enough when LaPierre forced out Oliver North two years ago.
          LaPierre has to go before I rejoin the NRA, it’s that simple.

          That being said my mother just turned 87.
          She will watch Chicago Med and then watch Chicago Fire.
          When Chicago PD comes on she will change the channel.
          She can’t stand that show.

        • “I can’t remember the last actual movie in a theater that I attended. I gave up 20 years or so back because I don’t want my money supporting the bedwetter, woke crowd in “Hollywood” who absolutely hate America, and me.”

          Hollywood is the best friend the 2A has.

          Every movie where the hero saves the day, gets and beds the girl, and kills the bad guys, creates heroes that the kids want to emulate by buying guns.

          We would be well and truly fucked if all Hollywood did was show guns in a bad light. But they don’t, they glorify guns. And that’s what sells guns, and turns the kids into future 2A defenders… 🙂

        • “Highlander? Yikes… ”

          “Nuns. No sense of humor…” 😉

      • Well, cuz it is…

        Or at least up there with Jermiah Johnson.
        (Yea, yea, I know… Robert Redford…)

      • No, don’t compare Keanu Reeves to John Wayne.
        That’s almost Minerish.
        The Duke would look at him funny and Keanu would run away. 🙂

        • You do realize John Wayne was an actor, right? He wasn’t a gunfighter or a soldier(he never served) or a cowboy.

          Not defending Reeves. But there were and are actors that were the real deal. Wayne wasn’t one of them.

        • What modern day “actor” would say are the real deal?
          Please don’t say The Rock or Vin Diesel.
          Plus Chuck Norris is 81 years old so that’s a no.
          Bruce Lee was a choreographer and most MMA fighters would kill him.
          What modern day “actor” is a POTG and a badass?

        • “Bruce Lee was a choreographer and most MMA fighters would kill him.”

          Let’s be fair. MMA wouldn’t even exist without Bruce Lee, so I think you give them a little too much credit.

        • MMA at first was mostly the Gracies, they were hawking their version of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The first MMA stuff here that was popular were the UFC pay per views run by the Gracie family.

          Being fair Gene LeBell was the “real” guy in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” who picked up Bruce Lee and threw him. Gene LeBell was also the one who choked out Steven Seagal and made him crap himself.
          He was the real deal.

          Bruce Lee never had any recorded real fights and was considered to mostly teach some self defense to some people in his style but was mostly a guy who was known to mess with stuntmen in the movies he choreographed. He messed with Gene LeBell, saw he would get killed and they became friends.

          Most of his smack talk has been debunked, “the one inch punch”, he mastered any martial art and his unbelievable speed. He was quick but nowhere near the quickest. Most MMA fighters aren’t going to talk smack about a guy who was likely their childhood hero but some will. A lot of modern MMA fighters say he wouldn’t last a minute, the problem is there is no way to prove that.

          He was 130lbs and was a great choreographer. He was good with nunchakus. Most of the other stuff he said or others have said is greatly exaggerated. There is a lot of urban legend surrounding Bruce Lee, separating facts from fiction now is impossible.

          He was good but MMA would have existed even if Bruce Lee never did.
          Thank Rorion Gracie for that.

        • My daughter says Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie, because Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) is in it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Pedowood puts out a movie that pushes gun culture and helps normalize guns in general and all you can do is complain. Good luck hoping the creeps in hollyweird ever make anything better. The next John Wick will be a trans animalsexual with a dildo holster that sniffs kids and forgets where he is. His sidekick son will smoke craft cheese and walk around naked in front of his 14 year old neice. The FBI will help save everyone from the over- Russian bears.

      • Not sure why I deleted “masculine” in between the “over-” and “Russian”.

      • Normalize?

        Yea, that’s why all the Moms demand action love suppressors…

        Thanks Hollywood 👍

    • Imagine being mad at a movie that is clearly meant to be fiction. Then, imagine being mad at anything that convinced people to try and be gun owners. I know several 18 to 23 somethings that have gotten into guns because of the wick movies.

      Not liking people using guns because they use guns differently than you do is fuddery at its highest value.

      • Imagine thinking an opinion equates to being mad.

        People carrying and owning guns is their own business. Hollywood manipulates the truth, and does us Zero justice. People believe suppressors are dangerous because of Hollywood. People believe full auto us every fucking gun out there. People believe a 30 round mag is dangerous because of Hollywood. Want me to go on? Fuck Hollywood, fuck John wick, and fuck ACTUAL FUDDs, and lastly, fuck keyboard commandos like you. Lol

        • Was it the wordy durd? lol. People who type “u mad” are usually the ones suffering from their own keyboard commandoing being shut down. Keep trolling bruh, and enjoy the show. Hollywood loves your money. I’d rather burn money than watch 99% of action movies like this. Some people like you will never understand, and that’s okay. I don’t expect you to. Because you have no idea what it’s actually like outside of going to an indoor range. I’ll read a book before I take hollywood’s version of combat, shooting, and general action outside of the obvious make believe comic book types. Hey, when ever you want to come on over and watch The Notebook together, lemme know. I usually keep it on a weekly rotation.

  3. If you’re into revenge-porn, the John Wick series is among the best, not to mention it’s an imfdb.org wet-dream.

  4. Well since they didn’t post my last comment here goes again.
    These movies are stupid, plain and simple.
    Keanu Reeves as a bad ass? NO, much better in the original Bill and Ted.
    Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher? No, in the Reacher books Reacher is 6’5″ and built like a tank.
    Tom Cruise is 5’5″ on a good day. Both actors are in their mid 50’s.
    They are a YouTube wet-dream because people will either reenact scenes or
    point out how both were trained by some super special usually English special Ops dude.
    “Notice how Wick never runs out of bullets, he knows when to reload”.
    The main problem with the Wick franchise is he gets beat the snot out of him by two punks
    and yet can take on a room full of the world’s most elite assassins, killing them all.
    He does this starting with a Kimber 1911 and what does that say about the movie?
    Wick you have 7 bullets and there are 20 assassins in here with an arsenal but they are all bad shots.
    In the Reacher franchise Cruises special ability is punching people in the nuts.
    My one neighbor is heavily into the Reacher books and was completely disgusted.
    So was Lee Child who wrote the books, Jack Reacher is supposed to be a big nasty dude.
    As a big burly 6’5″ dude, he is supposed to be intimidating when he walks into the room.
    As for Keanu or any other actor in Wick, how bad of shots are the world’s most elite assassins?
    They come across like storm-troopers in Star Wars, incapable of hitting a parked semi at 20 feet.
    These movies are great Hollywood comedies.

  5. Holy fuck you are easily triggered. They are called movies. For entertainment.
    So you all hate action movies? Great go put on your pretty pink panties, watch a Barbara Streisand movie and shut the fuck up.

    • I’m not triggered, they are just horribly bad movies IMO.
      If you like seeing a midget punching people in the nuts or
      20 people miss point blank shots, I hope you love them.
      The writer of the books didn’t.
      I did like parts of Collateral but you actually think these are “action” movies?
      Are you one of those big fat people who posts the BS on YouTube?
      “This is me reenacting this scene from John Wick.”
      Are you a BIG fan of the Matrix movies?
      You sound like one, now take a pill and chill out.
      Red or Blue, I don’t care.

      • Yeah what a bunch of whinny fudds. Keanu is a good guy in real life. And a helluva good shot. It’s a meme you tards…I get it & I’m 67. The guns he uses are “placement”. Paid advertising. Duh🙁

        • He is a good guy. Doesn’t change the terrible representation Hollywood gives guns. This is shit that people expect from suppressors, and how they view everyone open carrying. It’s not a FUDD thing, I don’t think you know what that word means…

        • It is a Kimber and Glock ad but doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pretty stupid movie. I don’t care how good of a guy Keanu Reeves is in real life besides being really stupid movies (in a room full of special ed kids against Wick, one of them is bound to get off a lucky shot into his head), it also portrays every gun owner as a killer. The premise of the entire movie is he is hell bent on revenge because they killed his dog.

          Keanu movies are generally boring including Speed. To make the Wick movies less boring they killed the dog at the beginning and nobody back then cared how many people he killed. Now that people are woke, these movies are bad portrayals of people with guns.

          Also when you kill a dog in a movie, the response is 10X of killing a person.

          Like in The Road Warrior, nobody cared about people getting killed but when they shot Maxes dog with an arrow, instant outrage.

          https://www.doesthedogdie.com/does-the-dog-die

          Kolstad says producers were finally convinced that killing the dog was a good move when they saw test audiences react to the movie. “As soon as the dog died, and seeing their reaction and then seeing the siege in the house, we were like, yep, we were right,” the writer explained.

          So it’s an ad for Kimber and Glock and the reason people watched it was because he was getting revenge for his dead dog.

        • Well said Rob.

          Hollywood even destroys dog ownership. I swear people think all dogs just understand them and don’t need training – more so – the owners don’t need training. Even as a puppy, it’s clear John Wicks dog comes from a perfect lineage and very well trained handlers.

      • I enjoyed them for what they are. Movies. Pure and simple. So sorry that you are triggered by Mr Reeves. Life must suck for you. Why do you do all of us a favor and take the red and blue pills. Jackass.

        • I actually made it through the first Matrix movie and was rooting for the guy in the suit. I never saw the other two, I was actually pretty disappointed in Laurence Fishburne being in the “movie”. I thought that the first one was so bad that it would be a career ender for the both of them. It wasn’t and Laurence Fishburne did nothing after 3 Matrix movies but the reappeared in CSI for 3 seasons.

          Since Hollywood cannot seem to come up with an original idea, there is Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted Face the Music, John Wick 4, Matrix 4 and supposedly a John Wick 5 and Speed 3 that he is shooting.

          https://www.imdb.com/list/ls000069446/
          It isn’t just me.

          If anyone took the red and blue pills it was you.
          The problem is you swallowed both bottles.

  6. Escapism, what ever the media, is

    Definition of escapism
    : habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.

    Me? I would rather watch John Wick than The Sound of Music…..and besides they killed his effing dog! So yeah, everyone needs to die horribly!!

      • Hmm…
        🎶The hills are alive
        With the sound of Nazis🎶
        (sung very quietly)

      • Lone Wolf McQuaid -starring CHUCK NORRIS (all caps when you spell his name, it’s a rule)

        Bad guys killed his dog/wolf hybrid…so yes, CHUCK NORRIS killed everybody and proved that a supercharged Ram can dig itself out of a dirt hole if he’s driving! lol

  7. Over the top avenging the dog loaded with gun porn was great.
    Some sort of ultra secret international ring of assassins walking among us the elites use to tit for tat each other complete with nonsensical code of honor? Now we’re treading into cape-shit levels of retardation I want nothing to do with.

  8. Alright here is another example of escapism that goes wrong.
    They make 18 movies in 13 years with 4 more coming out.
    Marvel comes out with Iron Man in 2008.
    They come out with Avengers: Infinity War in 2018.
    All of the Avengers get their asses handed to them in the movie.
    They come out with Captain Marvel in 2019.
    In 2019 they also come out with Avengers: Endgame.
    They make 18 movies in 13 years with 4 more coming out.
    Brie Larson is such a badass that there really isn’t any need for any other Avenger.
    She is basically an unstoppable force like Superman is in the DC genre.
    Granted I only watched the movies mentioned (except Captain Marvel) and Thor: Ragnarok.
    Where was Brie Larson in Avengers: Infinity War?
    Could John Wick go toe to toe with her?
    I understand the difference between movies and reality.
    Speaking of Highlander: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Leepo6q-xfw

    • I’m somewhat under caffeinated this morning, the second line was supposed to be:
      Marvel makes 18 movies in 13 years with 4 more coming out.
      The second “They make 18 movies in 13 years with 4 more coming out.”
      wasn’t supposed to be there. I misspelled Brie and the whole thing got screwed up.

    • Phase 4 is about to launch. Wandavision introduced the potential of a multiverse, and Loki is blowing it wide open. The upcoming Doctor Strange and Ant Man: Quantumania movies are going to be fundamental in setting up Kane, Doctor Doom, and possibly Galactus. The result will be an arc (going into Phases 5 and 6 over the coming years) that will dwarf Thanos.

      No, Rob, it isn’t real. It’s make believe. But just sit back and enjoy the ride.

      • well, if galactus means a segue (i almost typed segway) into some silver surfer, i’m in.

  9. The whole John Wick series is a middle finger to the left. As such, I am willing to overlook the unrealistic nature of some scenes in favor of just enjoying the ride. It’s an action movie, not a documentary.
    Also, seeing Keanu Reeves rock that shit for real makes me appreciate everything he did to prepare for this movie.

  10. I’ve a level of admiration for Reeves, Wahlberg, and a few other celebrities, for their restraint in advertising their Political opinions. Wahlberg, in particular, frequently excoriates fellow celebs to STFU about expressing their views.
    Jon Voight, a complete 180° flip from his Anti-War activism of the 60’s and 70’s. Publicly admitting he was wrong, is something I can respect, and his efforts since have been entirely Conservative.
    I too, miss the old actors, who served. Douglas, Marvin, Bronson, Heston, Murphy, Arness, and others.
    I admired Freeman, until he went Wacko with the CPAC Nazi Rune Stage BS.
    Reeves’ learning 3 Gun drills to be able to act with more authenticity shows a dedication.

    The Wick movies are entertaining. They’re Art, not Life. Based upon a Graphic Novel character, just like the Matrix, V for Vendetta, and others that have enjoyed commercial success. The One Man Against All Odds has been overdone by Hollywood, but obviously, the general public still laps it up. Are there inaccuracies? Yes, Hollywood’s incapable of 100% accuracy.
    Being of Scottish descent, I remember the anticipation of Braveheart’s release, but cringed when I watched the film. About the only accuracy in the film was the names of the characters. Everything else was Hollywood writer BS. The Princess of Wales was 10 years old at the time of Wallace’ execution. Robert the Bruce didn’t fight at Falkirk, nor was he Wallace’ betrayer. “Braveheart” is the Bruce’ nickname in Scottish history, not Wallace’. Wallace was a minor noble, not a commoner. Kilts hadn’t developed yet. Edward the 1st didn’t die at the time of Wallace’ beheading, he died 10 years later on the way to Bannockburn.
    Hollywood is usually wrong 9 put of 10 times in their Epics.

    • Very true. Historical accuracy (or any kind of true-to-life-ness, really) is not to be expected. They’re not making historical documentaries; they’re in the business of entertaining people with stories.

      What IS to be expected is a good story. The thing I can’t forgive Hollywood for is how thoroughly and frequently they manage to fuck up the “entertaining people with stories” part. I could even overlook the fact that it’s a hive of disgusting, degenerate midgets if only they’d stick to doing a good job of the one, single thing we need them to do.

    • Wahlberg is kind of a douche tho… Like the total opposite of Reeves. Actually, all the Wahlberg’s are.

  11. Reeves has a great reputation as a descent guy. Nice to fans, doing favors, picking up the tab and always polite about it.

    The John Wick movies are live action cartoons. Go in with that in mind and they can be fun. Lot’s of fun. Sure, silly nonsense, the streets of NYC are not populated by endless hordes of assassins waiting for a contract to come their way. But then when is a cartoon supposed to be judged on real life? People shouldn’t take this stuff so seriously.

    If or when they end the John Wick series of films, they should bring back Ruby Rose as the mute assassin “Ares”. That push-knife was too short. It was thru Ares hand and then her breast and too high up and shallow to kill her. So if they end Wick, Ares should be the character that comes back to do the deed.

    But he’ll likely just get a new dog and retire again.

    Maybe he marries Ares?

  12. Speaking of the old heroes, mine was Lee Marvin. Lied about his age to join the Marines at 16, participated in (IIRC) 19 Beach assaults in the Pacific, last one he was one of 3 survivors of initial force, when he began acting he was 100% disabled retired military, and he had retired from acting before I ever heard about that history, he never spoke of it.

  13. It’s a movie. It’s entertainment. Fantasy. Real life is dull, boring, and looks like my ex-wife. If my life had been like John Wicks, I would have been dead in the first minute, or two. Whatever we might think of actors in general, if they are going to be good at their jobs they work hard and long hours. It’s not just show up at 9am and go home at 5pm. But, Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher is just plain stupid.

  14. I saw the first Wick movie. While some people (that also play video games) think this is entertainment, it is total and absolute bullshit. Want real focus? Try coming face to face to with a Alaskan Grizzly bear on the tundra with no place to go and armed only with a Sears single shot 20 gauge as your only protection at age 13. Yeah, that will make you a man. But hey, I was more mature at age 15 than at 62, so there is that. John Wick is a pussy!

  15. John Wickes.
    Boondock Saints.
    Jason Bourne.
    Josey Wales.

    What a fine crew of gun owners.

    They showcase many wonderful virtues :
    perseverance, hard work, practice, toughness, working through problems, proper selection of tools, highly tuned 360deg visual awareness, and a host of others.

    On top of that, very relaxing and enjoyable movies. 🙂

  16. If you like the John Wick movies, you’ll love the movie “Nobody.”
    It’s like “John Wick”, but with a lot more humor, mostly dark humor.
    In “Nobody”, the guy’s wife, son, and neighbors all think’s he’s a ball-less wimp, when in reality he’s a retired hit man who used to enjoy killing. He’d just been trying to put his violent past behind him, but as he admits in the movie, “I might have overcorrected,” because his family, friends, and neighbors were fooled into thinking he’s a wimp. And then home invaders attack his family (which also reminds me of the Bruce Willis movie “Death Wish”).

    There is a bus scene in that movie that is priceless.
    The bus has at least a half dozen violent gang members who are armed with knives, so he gets the woman bus driver safely off the bus, then confronts the gang. But he’s in the mood for a fist fight, not a gunfight, so he unloads his gun (by dumping the cartridges on the floor, I mean, not through the barrel like John Wick would!). As soon as the hoods see he’s unarmed, they attack him with their knives, but he kicks their asses with his bare hands, kills them all. He does gets a few stab wounds himself in the process (after all, he’s not superman!), but he enjoys the fight, so he doesn’t care. Then he opens the bus door, gets out, and tells the bus driver, “Sorry for the mess.”

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