Fishy Self-Inflicted Wound Story of the Day: Robert Raiford

Robert Raiford appears to be one tough son-of-a-gun. According to his story, the Memphis DJ and club owner accidentally shot himself in the chest, then spent five hours alone in his apartment trying to get to a phone. He was finally able to call his daughter, who called police. They arrived at the apartment at 3:15 PM…

From commercialappeal.com‘s blurb:

Police officers found a bloody .38 revolver under a dresser near the bed.

According to the report, an employee and ex-girlfriend of Raiford’s spent the night at the Kimball home. She told police that she left around 7:30 a.m.

Also, Raiford had $400 cash in a bowl in the kitchen which was not taken.

It’s not easy to accidentally fire a .38 revolver, especially if you have it pointed at your own chest. It takes some (smaller) people two fingers to overcome the intentionally heavy trigger pull-weight. Then there’s the matter of surviving five hours with a chest wound without bleeding out. Sure, it’s possible. But if the wound’s superficial enough not to kill you for that period of time, would it really take you five hours to get to the phone?

And then there’s the, um, ex-girlfriend. Sure, I’m a cynical, suspicious a-hole, but am I the only one who smells three day old flounder all over this cock-and-bull story?