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Danger Will Robinson! He’s about to go off!!!
now when Dorothy shows up with the lion, you shoot the lion for my trophy room, what happens to the rest of them is up to you, then you will get your heart!
Safe sex? When Dr. Smith is around you better wear your helmet and have a laser pistol handy.
Keep your finger off the trigger, unless you’re ready to fire!
Exit only Smith. Exit only.
You should put a link to last week’s contest with the winning caption…
Yes, please.
or have a link to all the winners! Ahem. But that’s been suggested before.
Agree, completely. Or add the last weeks photo with the winning caption and name of the person who penned it to this weeks, underneath.
I’m not good for much around here anymore, but I added a link to last week’s contest and caption.
Hey there, you shiny spaceman. How about you and me go to my place and you could show me that shiney gun?
?Goldfingered!?
Does that require a background check?
One more wise ass comment about my color and you’re toast!
“Oh, I finally got an Emmy, and it’s a big one!”
“…but you’re 18 in EARTH years, right?”
“Do you like movies about space-gladiators, Joey?”
“I don’t have to register in space, you know!”
Slow down. Take a deep breath. Step away from the key board. I’ve seen this before. You need an intervention.
But, but…free ammo
It’s a trap. A gateway drug as it where. One day you get free ammo. The next you’re paying retail.
Automatophilia must be legalized!
“Oh, the pain!”
Beat me to it.
*mutter*…
“Step into my private quarters, Sergeant Goldschläger.”
No means no you galactic pervert!
Free prostate exam? What kind of doctor are you, again?
wait, if both your hands are on my shoulders how are you planning to check my prostate?! I’m not even sure robots have prostates!
“Man with the Golden Gun – Dyslexia Edition.”
“Silverfinger” got me, and if you think that “Goldfinger” was a “coldfinger”, lemme tell ya …..
When that damn robot come back and starts yelling ‘Danger! Danger!” shoot the sucker.
Before AIDS sy fy conventions were raunchfests.
Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!
“You ain’t Captain Kirk and you ain’t boldly going where no man has gone before.”
“And to think it all started with Pink Pistols…”
“It rubs the lotion on my skin, or else it gets the the spray paint again. “
Continue to point your Golden Gun at me and you will find it Lost in a Space you don’t want filled!
Get your hands off my shoulders before I loosen your nuts
What do you mean, I’m not a “person of color”?
“Dr. Smith, where should I put my pants before my prostate exam?”
“Why, over there next to mine, you bubble headed boobie!”
Wait a second, why are BOTH of your hands on my shoulders?
“If both your hands are on my shoulders, where’s your… NO! Oh, God, NO!!!”
If you rub the smooth, bulbous head, a golden stream will spring forth.
Watch where you put that hand Smith, or this Blaster is going where the Sun don’t shine!
Are you sure that Hillary’s bark is worse than her bite?
Such poor, poor trigger discipline. Oh, the pain!
What do you mean this laser is not California compliant?
From my cold gold hands.
My brother the tin man had an axe, but I prefer the best tool possible for self defense.
Seriously? This is uglier than a Hi-Point!
Okay, Tin Man, blast the Lion and the Scarecrow. I’ll grab her Ruby slippers and then we’re OFF this planet and back to Kansas !
The golden man carries a golden gun because carrying a coward is too hard on his back.
“Wait. If your hands are on my shoulders… what’s that hitting me in the back?!”
Oh, I hadn’t noticed you have 3 hands.
Dr. Smith, will this kill the Kilgons around Uranus?
The revolution can’t come fast enough for me…
At the range, creepy RSO approaches an unsuspecting customer;
“Hey Man, want to try my GLOCK?”
Tin man with oil gun….now banned in California.
“Due to budgetary troubles, we’ve had to hire the man with the SILVER gun”
When Dr. Smith, your proctologist, has both hands on your shoulders during a prostate exam, you might need to defend yourself no matter what planet you are from.
What? I like to wear my full metal jacket when I shoot full metal jacket… and my hat matches!
“yes, yes, a wagner spray gun, indeed. but next time you must remember to replace the rear cap before applying protectant to the ships hull.”
“how will we become rulers of this miserable little planet, you ask? it’s quite simple really. all you have to do is shoot that robot over there. once he’s out of the way the rest will be child’s play”
“Excellent…now I can prove to that mechanical meddler that I am NOT the most FLAMBOYANT thing in space.”
Just because I’m dressed as the Tin Man doesn’t mean I’m into dudes, Doctor, so please stop touching me or I will vaporize you!
No, no, no, my friend. You should be pointing that at Will, Will Smith. He’s the one you want.
“We’ll do it when I say I gotta take a leak. Remember: leave the gun, take the ruby slippers.”
You wanna back off before I pump you full of phased plasma in the 40 watt range.
Silvie, baby, I’m sorry. We just didn’t have the budget to buy the new Glock 218 blasters. We’ll just have to make due with these Hi-Points.
Dr Smith to alien is that the new Smith and Wesson Laser 357 your holding.
I might be high as hell from all this paint, but I can feel your boner you SPACE QUEEN!
Mention “booger hook” again and I’ll relieve you of yours.
No that’s not a weapon my dear boy, I’ll show you what it does later.
Or
Yes Dr. Smith, my lubrication system is fully functional, why do you ask?
What do you mean? This is my war face!
“You’re interested in that ninny-headed robot? I’m sure we can work something out….”
I was trying out different types of gun oil. I had this jar of Anti-seize lying around. Next thing you know…
Spaceman Spiff discovers the “wonders” of universal health care from his “doctor” and decides it’s time to exit stage left. Heavens to mergatroid!
Oooh! This IS the droid I’m looking for! This is EXACTLY the droid I’m looking for!
You need to find somewhere else to hide because I ain’t it.
And if you can get that silly looking death ray pistol to work then we’ll get you a nice iwb holster that matches your outfit.
Is that a ray gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me……..
“It’s alright, Keema — savvy? The Masked Man will be back, and he’ll bring Silver, too.
“In the mean time, is that really the way he taught you to hold that pistol?”
Gold paint, a gold suit, and a gold gun. Where is my gold ammo?…my friend, until your marksmanship improves, steel case fmj is all you get. Don’t you realize our investors are holding us accountable to our expenses? Now get down to the range!
Just a little closer…a little closer