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I only own guns I shoot. They’re all “useful.” I don’t own a lot of guns. Lies, obviously. Fortunately — or unfortunately — I’m a twice divorced single-father bachelor. So I don’t have to justify my firearms purchases to anyone. Well, except my daughter, who constantly rabbits on about something called a “college fund.” Anyway, just as women can’t own enough shoes, gun guys (and gals) can’t own enough guns. True?

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  1. Basically 5 guns are enough for any one person. 2 handguns, 1 rimfire rifle, 1 centerfire rifle and 1 shotgun.

    But we don’t live in a nation with a bill of needs. You’re only limited by your funds.

    • _Need_ a shotgun? Someone convince me why? πŸ˜‰ Also one of the handguns should be a pocket/backup size, IMO.

      • Can you shoot skeet/trap with a rifle? If you think that’s unimportant, you probably have not tried it! *SO* damn much fun!

      • Go to a range where you can shoot Field Clays and rent a nice side-by-side. You will be hooked and will be looking for a FN SC-1 soon after

      • I have a pump and a semi-auto. The pump is an emergency backup while the semi is my 3gun shotgun. The former only set me back ~$200, so it’s a great “in case shit” investment. The latter is more or less mandatory if you’re going to do any competitive shooting. I only needed to run one 3gun match with a pump to put money on the barrel for a good competition semi.

    • Bare minimum:

      2 shotguns, rimfire pistol, rimfire rifle, full size or compact pistol, subcompact concealable pistol, semiautomatic centerfire rifle, full size rifle of a caliber for medium game.

      • Absolutely not. Bare minimum:

        2 rimfire rifles (semi auto and bolt, lever, or pump)
        2 rimfire handguns (revolver and semi auto)
        1 shotgun
        2 centerfire rifles (1 bolt, 1 semi auto)
        2 centerfire handguns (1 large size semi auto, 1 small ccw semi auto or snub revolver)
        1 black powder revolver

        also, 1 small handgun for each girlfriend. πŸ˜‰

        • Disagree, at least in part.

          You need one more centerfire pistol – large revolver – and one more centerfire rifle – one in modern caliber (5.56, 300BLK, etc.) and one in a traditional caliber (.30-06, .45-70, etc.).

        • I don’t see how a penis compensates for a gun. I think I’d prefer to use the gun on most criminals.

    • Agreed, with the caveat that five should be the minimum, not the maximum, which was implied by the words should be enough. How could one get by with LESS than a centerfire rifle and pistol, a rimfire rifle and pistol, and a shotgun?

    • Oh, I dunno about that. I think if you have one firearm for each day of the year you’ve probably hit the proper limit. Anything more is just guilding the lily.

    • Even the Terminator wanted five guns when he walked into that gun store in the first movie:

      Armalight AR-18
      Franchi SPAS-12
      AMT Hardballer .45 Longslide (with laser sighting)
      Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range
      Uzi 9mm

    • What you meant to say is, one might be able to squeak by with five guns. We have five AR’s… and i haven’t gotten into ar10’s yet!!

      You’ve got your SBR’s, your 16 inch, your ‘pistol’ your SPR, your wife’s gun.. then you get into 300 blackout or 6.5..

      Forget it, there’s no way anyone could live with only five guns.

  2. Yeah… More or less. My main problem is finding an organized way to store them. Right now, I have a spare bedroom dedicated as an armory, but even with three lockers, I’ve run out of room for long guns. Given that I put a lockable door on the room, I’m going to break everything out, install a dehumidifier and set up armory style gun racks for everything.

    When it comes time to buy a bigger house, I’m going to be looking for something with an underground 25’x25′ room that I can trick out to exact specifications. (Should also keep the significant other happy as the guns will be stashed away in a place where nobody has a reason to go.)

    • This is my plan when I eventually move into my forever home. The man cave will be an armory with most of my guns on display or racks. I especially want my milsurp rifles on display for my own personal museum.

      • Yeah, that’s more or less going to be my next house. Right now, I’m with a firm that I plan to retire from so my next house is probably going to be built to specification. It costs a bit more, but since I’m not particular about location or time, I can make the effort to get exactly what I want.

    • Have you priced a door for the vault?

      If a quality typical size gun safe is $X than a similar quality door wframe for install in a wall is $3X. Doesn;t compute.

      • Right now I already own more guns than will fit in an average safe. A 25×25 room with a vault door should be sufficient to my needs.

      • For the price a watertight/lockable ship’s door is the way to go. Prices are usually about the same as a high quality largish safe. Installed in a basement with reinforced cinder block or poured concrete for the wall and it’s a pretty damn good investment.

        Nice to see I’m not the only nut thinking about this in terms of building a house.

  3. I have guns I “need” and guns I “want.” I have all the guns I need right now, but the list of guns I want is well… all of them.

  4. If you haven’t shot it in 6 years and its not broken or needing something (or has sentimental value) and you don’t consider your self a collector, its too many. Trade it, sell it, make a lamp with it, give it to a cousin…

  5. I buy guns like I buy shoes, that is to say I would love to buy more so I have options and variety, but I’m only in a position where I can get what I need and maybe a little extra on the side. In the future though…

  6. I’m a woman, and I personally own more guns than shoes. All I need or want, in the way of shoes, are what feels comfortable. Which means two pair of tennis shoes suffice. One pair for slightly dressy, but I hardly go anywhere where my tennis shoes and money aren’t accepted.

    • I’m with you. Actually have five pairs of shoes/boots. Three for summer and two for winter. One pair of the (ten year old) boots will probably hit the trash next spring, so I’ll be looking for another pair of snow boots. Other than that, I couldn’t care less about shoes. Oh, and I actually wear out slippers faster. Have had two pair of suede and lambs wool slippers in ten years. The only thing for the cold in Wyoming. πŸ™‚

      I have far more guns than shoes. Probably always will. πŸ™‚

  7. Shoes and purses. But good luck getting much out of a 3 year old pair of shoes on Gun Broker. I figure if you shop around for a good price a gun in the safe is as good as cash.

    • Keep in mind, Gov, that the U.S. government at one point made it illegal to own gold bullion unless you were a jeweler, even if you kept it in your safe. You could own gold jewelry, however.

      How many of your guns would qualify, according to the government, as “costume jewelry” and how many as “worth their weight in gold”?

      • I believe you were allowed to keep 5 ounces. Any more and they called it hoarding. Collectable coins were also allowed.

        If you need a gun then any gun is worth it’s weight in gold. You can’t eat gold and it makes a lousy defensive weapon. And of course ammu nition would be worth it’s weight in platinum.

  8. When I was younger I bought all manner of firearms, now a bit older I only buy what I can use for hunting,HD and CC. Been selling the rest off piecemeal to finance more “useful” firearms. Narrowing down the arsenal to “real world” needs, not any tinfoil hat needs. Looking at calibers like 9mm,.45 5.56,7.62 for stocking ammo. If I haven’t shot it in 8 months, out it goes.

  9. Every so often, I look through my safe and ask myself when was the last time I shot each gun. If I can’t remember for any particular gun, I ask myself when I’m going to shoot it next. If I can’t answer that question either, then I usually end up selling it and buying something I’ll use more, or more ammo for the ones I use frequently.

  10. Also too what can you carry at one time, even in a bug-out situation? I can pack 3-4 pistols, a semi auto rifle and shotgun, along with some ammo for each before becoming a human boat-anchor, never mind food, water, med kit, etc.
    As for collecting hell buy what you want that you can legally own, unless you have to answer to a higher power(wife, etc)

  11. “Men can’t own enough guns like women can’t own enough shoes”? Robert, are you working on some material for your tight five down at the Comedy Store in 1991? And what is the deal with guys not stopping and asking for directions? And how about that airline food, huh? And how come the Professor on Gilligan’s Island could build a radio out of coconuts, but he couldn’t fix a hole in the boat?

  12. Not true. Men don’t have to match their guns to their outfits or purses. We just buy guns in basic black, which goes with everything.

  13. I have more guns than my wife has shoes (if you count pairs, not individual shoes–but maybe even then). It’s really some kind of illness.

  14. This is sexist. As a man, I need many ARs (the combos and calibers!) and many flip-flops (because freedom for the toes and they are disposable items).

  15. We need to start the “Chuck Noris Bill” to

    1) Put a mandatory 10 day waiting period for all new shoe purchases.
    2) Heel limits (2″ and up)
    3) Microchip the shoes that they can be found when need be
    4) Safe storage laws (Can’t leave those things laying around.)
    5) Declare Jimmy Choo & Gucci terrorist groups
    6) …

  16. For years, I had a bolt action .22 and a single shot 20 gauge for varmint control on the farm. They were tools. I didn’t yearn for more guns any more than I yearned for more hammers.

    I know people who have a couple guns they use for hunting and really aren’t interested in anything else.

    I don’t know any women who own only two pair of shoes.

    I must say that gun collecting is way more fun than shoe collecting, I don’t care who you are. I mean, you can’t shoot a shoe.

  17. “you cant shoot a shoe”, LOL but you sure can put one up some deserving SOB’s arse when the occasion calls for it!

  18. The right number of guns is the number you have, plus one.

    Yeah, I think the guns/shoes comparison is a pretty clean bust.

    • That gun logic is what has gotten me in ‘buy a bigger safe’ 2x now. But then I keep the smaller safe and fill it up too. πŸ˜‰

      • I think that multiple, smaller safes are better than “one big one.”

        If thieves get into your house, and they crack the “one big one,” it’s all right there.

        With the multiple smaller safes, it’s more time and effort for them to get at everything.

  19. No, not true . Wife and one adult daughter could not care less about shoes, one needs them so they own a few . Other adult daughter has a ton of shoes.

    I’m a Allen Edmund fan and have shoes the cost more then some of my guns, of which I just sold off 5 .

  20. I try to avoid covetousness. (The Bible calls it idolatry.)

    Yeah, I guess I have enough. But the collection could always be tweaked.

  21. I like buying guns more than shoes because:

    1. They’re an investment. Guns that aren’t made anymore, if only in decent shape, can still bring in big money. Used shoes aren’t worth jack unless they belonged to some famous or historic person.

    2. The gun industry does not push a conformist borg culture like fashion. In fact, fashion has made people, but especially women, feel so insecure about their looks that they JUST HAVE to buy those $1,750 shoes or else they won’t be accepted. It’s an industry driven by juvenile emotions and peer pressure.

    Gun people don’t care about your budget or the kinds of guns you own. All we ask is that you keep the range clean by not making a mess in the first place, and don’t be a dick.

    3. When I buy guns, I know at least some of my dollars are going towards an American industry that is generally populated by fellow patriotic citizens. Fashion is fueled by outsourcing to third worlders, and run by progressives fanatics in NYC and LA.

    4. Guns have more than one use and can be easily repaired. It often costs more to fix used shoes than they are worth.

  22. I think this is more of a “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?” sort of question. There’s only one way to find out. I’ll send the address of an FFL over and we’ll see if I stop before the minigun.

  23. I don’t know if its just guys. Wife and I have been married 40 years. We have 36 various firearms, pistols and long guns. 24 of them are hers. And she shoots them all. I have one daily carry, she has four. She still has more shoes than me but I have only seen her wear 3 different pair including her cowboy boots.

  24. I don’t know who started it, but it appears that whenever I buy a new gun, the wife thinks, “Oh, he bought a new gun so I can buy a new pair of shoes/purse.” After she does that then I think “Oh well she bought a new pair of shoes so I can buy a new gun.”

    It’s a very expensive tango we are dancing. F*ck it though! If she bought some new shoes, I’m buying a new gun.

  25. I’m not so sure.

    I have a female friend who admits to having over 150 pairs of shoes.

    I’m bad about buying guns, but I’m not in that league of gun buying.

  26. I think it’s an apt comparison. One could get by with 1 of either, can be reasonably equipped with 5 of either, but it’s a free country, so if you want to have 10+ more power to you.

    I wanted to go on more of an accessory spree, but with politics being what they are, I’ve been rushing firearm purchases, specifically of the Form1 kind. And while I prefer more “elite/premium” firearms that tend to hold onto value better (such as HK), I chose to compromise a little to squeeze in 2 purchases rather than 1 before 41F hit. Hopefully that doesn’t bite me in the *** later, although selling NFA items is such a pain I don’t really care about them retaining their value, more just retaining function.

  27. Well, in my case this is certainly accurate, but not 100 percent true. I do have guns like women have shoes, BUT it is for functional, and not only aesthetic reasons. Large calibers for large game, and medium, and small. And pistols for hunting, carry, matches, concealment, plinking, long range plinking, etc. etc. etc…
    Aside, I find it interesting that RF is a twice divorced single father. Me too. Your kids wouldnt happen to be two teenage boys would they? That would just be TOO coincidental.

  28. My gun club is mostly old farts (like me) who are pretty laid back. Except for benchrest, the rules are relaxed. The club hosts a wide range of matches with names like Practical Pistol, Cowboy Action, Three Gun, Benchrest, Buffalo Rifle, Bowling Pin and Muzzleloader. If one wants to compete in at least one class in every match, using the same guns as often as possible, I come up with a minimum of ten. They are 1911 pistol, .22 rimfire pistol and rifle, .17 rimfire rifle, semiauto centerfire rifle (AR or AK), 1903 Springfield rifle, lever action rifle in a heavy caliber, benchrest centerfire rifle, muzzleloading rifle and pump shotgun.

  29. A middle-aged friend of mine had a Corvette in his twenties and wanted one again. Not a new one, just a late model used one on which the first owner had eaten the initial depreciation. His wife objected saying his SUV was perfectly good transportation. He countered by asking her if she thought she had enough shoes. End of debate and he now has his Corvette.

  30. Well , I do have a lot of guns , way more than MSM considers ‘ an arsenal ‘ and I continue to add more every year , been doing it since 1980’s and it is definitely not for the same reason women own a lot of shoes .

    I don’t buy a gun to accessorize an outfit or because it’s pretty or because someone else has one like it and I just have to have it , or even because it’s comfortable and women don’t buy or own lots of shoes so they can pass them out to friends and family when TSHTF .

    I am a certified thru and thru prepper , I probably have more guns hidden and stored than most people have in their safes and my primary reason is to defend against a tyrannical government . I don’t know tyranny is coming , that there is going to be a nuclear or EMP attack .

    I don’t know that the grocery store shelves will emptied and the masses will flow into the country sides gang style looking for food . I don’t know if society as we know it is going to completely break down folks will resort to eating their pets , but if it does ,

    I feel better prepared than most folks and I will share my preps and knowledge to use them with family and friends .

    So no , I really don’t know what prompts some women to have hundreds of pairs of shoes but I do know why I have my guns .

  31. Yes! There is no such thing as too many guns!

    There are many different guns for different sets of clothing and different purposes (hunting, pest control, EDC, home defense). Also, some are range toys, and some have historic or collectible value.

  32. I purchase or build them according to my needs and/or to give myself commonality across current ammo types (a .357 lever action to complete a .357 revolver for example).

    I try to limit the number of platforms to what I could reasonably train with. Remember what Clint Smith tells us: “Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!”

  33. I just did a count. My wife has 14 pairs of Berkies. So at least my guns outnumber her Berkies. I quit counting when I ran out of hippy shoes.

  34. 1st world problems. I can get a pair of footwear at many places where I live for $20 or less. I do not think I have ever paid more than $100 for a single pair. When firearms start costing that much then I can have the recommended collections mentioned here. It’s not that I mind any of you for having said guns its just that I wish they cost what shoes did πŸ™‚

  35. I’ll just note that my wife was looking around on government liquidation sites this evening and exclaimed “Awww! They’re fresh out of depth charges!”.

    So even if my gun collecting is like a woman’s shoe collection I doubt I’ll get in any trouble with her.

  36. 1 Modern Sporting Rifle
    1 Bolt Gun for large game
    1 Bolt Gun for medium game
    1 Bolt Gun for small game
    Limitless Semi-Auto rifles of any size, shape and design
    Limitless Hand guns of any size, shape and design
    And, come on America…
    At least 1 Lever Rifle and SSA in the same caliber

  37. A truly stupid title, and one that is as guilty of stereotyping as anything I’ve ever seen. My wife has as many guns as she has pairs of shoes/boots and she uses them all.

    It’s comments like this that perpetuate the image of the neanderthal guy, gun owner. Besides, I easily have more guns than I have pairs of shoes. πŸ˜‰

  38. The minimum is what you can afford or, if wealthy enough, what fits in your home.
    I have trouble restraining myself when I see a nice rifle or shotgun.
    And never feel guilty?


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