The 50,000-foot view? A naked woman stole two cars, crashed, resisted arrest, and was eventually tased for her trouble. It gets better. (I positively LIVE for this kinda stuff.) Lest this begins to sound like a revival of Annie Get Your Gun, here’s the straight dope, courtesy of ksl.com:
A woman who police say stole two cars and led them on a chase all while she was naked is now in jail. West Valley City officers stopped her with a Taser.
The 31-year-old woman from Kearns was booked Tuesday evening after getting a mental evaluation.
This was certainly an unusual call for West Valley City officers. They say it’s laughable now, but mostly, they’re just happy no one was seriously injured.
It appears our heroine was out for a naked joy ride a 5 in the Aye Em, when she spied a guy on the side of the road, nailing up signs. She left her car, got into his and drove off.
Sign guy gets into her car and gives chase, whilst he calls the constabulary via 911. He was a conceal carry permit type, but evidently was a little unclear on the “carry” part, as he’d left his pistolero on the seat. Ooops.
She crashes said car, bloodying herself. The county mounties play “wrestle the greased pig” where (in a delicious reverse of what you might expect) THEY get to chase the pig (instead of being called pigs, you know). She escapes their grasp, jumps into a squad car, and drives off. (Told you it gets better.)
Rather than escape, she crashes into a gate, hits a burm and pulls a Dukes of Hazard, flying 50 feet into the air. (You just can’t make this stuff up.) Realizing that Lynda Carter got nuthin’ on the perp, the police decide it’s time to tase her, bro. So they do.
Said perp, one Sylvina Beagley, is being held in the Salt Lake City area jail on two counts of vehicular theft, felony fleeing the scene and pubic…um public lewdness.
Of course, it could have gotten even better (or worse, depending on your point of view) had the nubile, nekkid nabbob gone the “Top o’ the World, Ma” route and availed herself of the available firepower on hand. But the story came to an unarmed end with the tasing and subsequent arrest.
Only in America.