Florida Man Burglar shot thief theif facebook
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If you’ve spent much time at all trolling the intertubes, you’ve probably run across the “Florida Man” meme. That’s because there’s no end of, well, unusual stories that typically involves criminal activity by male perpetrators in the Sunshine State.

Take, for instance, the Florida Man who stole what he thought were opioids but turned out to be laxatives. Or the Florida Man who turned up naked in the Daytona airport claiming that he had explosives. Then there was the South Beach artist with no arms who stabbed tourists with a pair of scissors.

You get the idea.

Today’s Florida Man story comes from Pine Lakes north of Orlando. This Florida Man caught a bullet.

A homeowner in the Pines Lakes area of east Lake County shot and killed a man who detectives believe was in the middle of an ambitious burglary spree in the neighborhood. …

The homeowner told deputies he had been staying across the street at his father’s house while his own home was being renovated. The man called 911 about midnight to report an intruder, but deputies found no one and left. The man then decided to return to his empty house in case the prowler returned.

About 5 a.m., he heard a noise outside by his shed, went outside and confronted the prowler. A struggle ensued, and the homeowner shot the prowler, officials said.

The burglar, identified as Brandon Allen Woods, was apparently working the entire neighborhood. Another homeowner down the street told police that he’d chased Woods off of his property the previous night. But what made the late Mr. Woods unusual and a prototypical Florida Man was his lack of pretense about his profession.

In December, he created a Facebook post indicating he had started a new job. His occupation: “Theif” (sic). Beneath the post he wrote that he was “grabbin what i can carry.”

And yet Florida gun owners are having to battle efforts from the anti-gun left to restrict their gun rights. When there are Florida Men lurking behind every palm tree. Stay alert down there, friends.

 

38 COMMENTS

    • The only thing wrong with having a ccw permit is , you have to buy your own ammo or make it…Why can’tit be subsidised like food stamps…

  1. And how does one tell Right from Left ? The answer is easy…..
    Truck w/ terrorist hunting permit on back window…. RIGHT
    Subaru w/ Hillary/ Bernie 2016 sticker on the bumper…LEFT

    • Easy, I got a Subaru.
      It’s lifted and on 35” mud tires, somewhere between a rolling toolbox and a junk store, and I can run a Sawzall with the inverter in the back, but it’s still a Subaru.
      When did we stop picking on Prius owners, anyway?

  2. I wonder whatever happen to “African-American Miami Beach Pier Guy”, who tried and got arrested for “Open Carry” dispute with Miami Beach Police. Did he decide to relocate out side Florida’s New Blue State and Laws…

  3. So, they call Florida the “gunshine state”, and looking at that picture at the top of this article, you could maybe sort of argue that the state does look vaguely like a gun.

    But since they’ve been caving frequently to enact “common sense gun safety” laws, well, I see something different. Look at that picture of Florida again, and see if it doesn’t look like an old man’s wanker drooping down, and his balls have been cut off.

    Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

  4. I’m just going to say it. The perp who took what he thought was opioids, was instead laxatives, was probably looking for an out of body experience, and got one.

  5. Compass heading and distance to objective placed digitally in the field of view is about all the special forces guys really want. Anything more is just visual clutter.

  6. Think all this craziness and ignorant behavior is caused by a lead deficiency. Only mass doses of lead or copper can cure this problem.

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