Ban Alligators!

Alligator in Wendy's (courtesy

“Joshua James, 24, was arrested Monday and charged with assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation officials say he threw a 3 1/2-foot-long alligator through a Wendy’s drive-through window in Palm Beach County in October,” reports. “He’s also charged with illegally possessing an alligator and petty theft. Bail was set Tuesday at $6,000, and James was ordered to have no contact with animals . . . James mother, Linda James, told WPTV that her son’s actions were a ‘stupid prank.'”


  1. avatar Marc says:

    “Where’s my F-ing chicken nuggets!”

    1. avatar Flat Rascal says:

      mmmm. tastes like chicken.

      1. avatar Mk10108 says:

        Nope. Taste like the bottom of a pond.

        1. avatar Splitlip says:

          Nope. That would be catfish.

  2. avatar jwm says:

    I’d say stupid prank was a good choice of words. If the gator had had a gun it wouldn’t have been subjected to a kidnapping and assualt.


    1. avatar SteveInCO says:

      We need to help out those poor forbidden possessor gators.


  3. avatar The Phantom says:

    Florida. Some come to escape the cold. Others come to escape reality.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Floriduh Man.

      1. avatar BDub says:

        When I’m bored, I just google-image-search “Florida Man” or browse #FloridaMan. It never fails to entertain.

      2. avatar Geoff PR says:

        “Floriduh Man.”

        It’s spelled ‘Flori-Duh’…


        1. avatar LordGopu says:

          The alligator was your first clue this took place in Florida but the fact that he threw it through a drive thru window removed all doubt. Well done Florida Man.

  4. avatar TXGal says:

    24 yr. MAN, not a kid! His mom might need some growing up! Son way too old to be doing pranks. Let him sit in jail until he can come up with bale bond money on his own

  5. avatar BDub says:

    Assault with deadly weapon is a bullshit charge for that. If he’d have thrown it into a toddlers playpen, like it was flash-bang or something, then I could see that charge applying.

  6. avatar Mr. Woodcock says:

    Illegally possessing an alligator? Are they on the NFA list now as well? Or is this only alligators shorter than 16 inches.

    1. avatar Jon in CO says:

      Gator mouth was 16″, just didn’t meet the 26″ OAL requirement.

      1. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

        I’d venture a guess on them considering the number of teeth as being high capacity!

  7. avatar Priest of the center mass says:

    We fired our cannons till the barrel melted down so we grabbed an alligator and fired another round,we filled his mouth with cannon balls and powdered his behind and when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.
    Always loved the use use of alligators as weapons!
    Being from R.I. its a treat to see them now that i live in FL….flol

    1. avatar Timmy! says:

      Good Old Johnny Horton. I loved that song as a kid.

  8. avatar JT says:

    Good thing this wasn’t an assault alligator. That is like a WMD.

  9. avatar Model 31 says:

    Let the gator take orders in the drive thru…can’t do any worse than some places I’ve been.

  10. avatar Priest of the center mass says:

    SBR = snout barreled reptile

  11. avatar PPGMD says:

    Florida residents while reading a strange news story: “Please don’t be Florida, please don’t be Florida, please don’t be DAMN IT it is Florida.”

    1. avatar SouthernPhantom says:

      This sums it up precisely. We always know deep down.

      1. avatar Von Schmitto says:

        We do. For me anymore it’s “please don’t be Tampa, please don’t be Tampa”.

        1. avatar SteveInCO says:

          I’ve had similar feeling when reading about wildfires…only it’s “please don’t let it be Colorado Springs…”

    2. avatar Doesky2 says:

      A lot of the crap of the US just settles down to the lowest point of the country which is Florida. A bunch of scumbags one step in front of the repo men and general losers in life just keep floating their way towards the most remote place they cann flee and that’s Florida. Mix in the retired cotton heads, the fantasy world of Disney, the transient nature of a large segment of folks and you got a real toxic brew.

      Moved thete for the first 4 years of my career a and pretty much spent most of my time figuring on a way to get the heck out.

      1. avatar Wiregrass says:

        Born there. I left and moved to Pennsylvania to get away from the Yankees.

  12. avatar Rokurota says:

    Too bad he didn’t Mexican Carry it.

    1. avatar A Hill says:

      I wanna know is was the gator loaded, or was he Israeli carrying it?

  13. avatar Jjimmyjonga says:

    I feel bad for the gator…we was just being a gator

  14. avatar Hannibal says:

    If you’re going to be arrested, might as well go all-in for it. At least he has something interesting to say in response to the “what are you in for?” question.

  15. avatar Daily Beatings says:

    Watching too much Adult Swim?

  16. avatar col potter says:

    So, the Pennsylvania game warden called the West Virginia game warden and told him “we have a WV possum up here in Pa.” The WV game warden asked “How do you know it is a WV possum.” The Pa warden tells the WV warden “Because it got caught in a trap chewed off three of its legs and it’s still caught.”

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      I thought it was ALWAYS “West By God Virginy”

  17. avatar SteveInCO says:

    That gator was just turning its life around…

  18. avatar Wiregrass says:

    I’m just imagining the commercial with the redhead about to chomp down on a flat drippy Wendy burger when out of nowhere this freaked out gator starts tearing through the dining area and panic ensues.

    Then the old slogan appears, ” You know when it’s real”.

  19. avatar neiowa says:

    Open carry or concealed?

  20. avatar James69 says:

    Actually this should have been a DGU of the day! I read it and thought, Thank god it’s not Alabama! At least they did not charge him with Terrorist threat – bio-weapon. If the cop only had a koran to throw down!

  21. avatar jwtaylor says:

    First, dang…all the nuts roll down hill.

    But really, it’s a BS charge. A 3 1/2 foot gator is mean as hell, but not deadly. I caught a 5 /2 footer in the water, alive and he threw the hook about 20 seconds after I grabbed him. He was very, very angry with me, and very very bitey. I pulled him to the shore and shot him. (I have nuisance tags.) I live mounted the little guy and now he proudly guards my game meat freezer.

  22. avatar Jimmyjames says:

    I SAID NO ONIONS…couldn’t resist as that is my pet peeve with Wendy’s.

  23. avatar Ralph says:

    Do not Ban alligators! Mennen Speed Stick works faster and leaves alligators smelling as fresh as a daisy.

    1. avatar jwtaylor says:

      Horrible. Just horrible.

  24. avatar Hackapotamus says:

    At least it wasn’t California. Your gator can’t have more than 10 teeth, and must not have certain features such as legs, a tail, or jaws that can be opened without a tool.

    God forbid a ghost gator. Far too dangerous.

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