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Zero Tolerance Government Functionary of the Day: Bernard Stellar

You know the country’s in trouble when Al Qaeda’s able to recruit five-year-old schoolgirls. But thanks to the diligent work of the vigilant bureaucrats who run the Mount Carmel Area (PA) government schools, they’ve sniffed out a budding un-named little terrorist before she could wreak havoc on the peaceful Keystone State community. According to, while “Talking with a friend, the girl said something to the effect ‘I’m going to shoot you and I will shoot myself’ in reference to the device that shoots out bubbles. The girl did not have the bubble gun with her and has never shot a real gun in her life, (the girl’s attorney, Robin) Ficker said.” . . .

Elementary school officials learned of the conversation and questioned the girls the next day, Fickler said. He said the girl did not have a parent present during the 30 minutes of questioning.

The result, he said, was that the student was labeled a “terrorist threat” and suspended for 10 days, Ficker said. The school also required her to be evaluated by a psychologist, Ficker said.

Par for the course in these cases, the school district is declining to comment, hiding behind the “we can’t discuss disciplinary matters” dodge. But we’ll place a call tomorrow to the ironically named Superintendent Bernard Stellar to see if he’s willing to try to defend the indefensible. And even if he’s not at liberty to discuss the 5-year-old bullet he dodged, we’ll ask if a conspicuous lack of common sense and an inability to use rational thought are prerequisites for a job as a government schools superintendent or whether it’s something that’s naturally developed over time.


  1. avatar Skyler says:

    I wonder if the courts will accept “being a moron in government” as a cause of action in a tort law suit.

    1. avatar great unknown says:

      Heck, that’s not a cause of action, that’s an affirmative defense.

    2. avatar Anon says:

      I though “being a moron” was a qualification to be a ranking member of government.

  2. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

    OK. All of you who are public employees, here’s the deal:

    If you don’t pimp-slap morons like this down to the ground and get them out of the ranks of the civil service, with or without due process, you’re just as bad as they are. Silence is assent to this behavior. People who think that a five year old girl with a plastic toy that “shoots” soap bubbles is a “terrorist threat” are clinically insane. Period, full stop, end of discussion.

    The only people I’ve ever met in my life that are this paranoid were serious meth-heads near the end of their lives/addiction.

    1. avatar William says:

      “a five year old girl with a plastic toy that “shoots” soap bubbles” THAT WAS NOT EVEN IN HER POSSESSION!! The mental midget petty tyrants who pulled this off MUST BE HELD TO ACCOUNT. Or all hope is lost. IMAGINE coming across people like that at every turn. Every day. EVERYWHERE. This future is not certain, but action is required.

      1. avatar Billy Wardlaw says:

        Seriously! the last time I checked the term “shoot” is a verb that can apply to a helluva lot of situations and CONTEXT MATTERS, people! It’s a five year old.

    2. avatar ANTI-shadowCABALgovernment says:

      uuummmmm, just so you know, the public employees you are talking to ARE BOUGHT BY GOVNERMENT, do you not undertand that these wastes of human skin are either COMPLETELY BRAINWASHED, INCOMPETENT MORONS or BOUGHT BY THE SHADOW CABAL GOVN’T???? This is what obama and his terrorist group have brought America to, this is what the pot calling the kettle black is all about! The real terrorist’s (US SHADOW/CABAL/NWO GOVN’t), are attemtping to make the innocent americans including our children, look like the threat, when in fact they need to in order to take our guns and leave us defenseless, like all govn’ts do just before a tyrannical dictatorship , and this is obama the fake and illegal president who is the puppet terrorist working for the master terrorist’s, get it??????????? You will in time, but it will be too late time! The US govn’t has been seriously compromised for MANY, MANY YEARS, hence george bush’s quote “if the people knew what we have done, they would mob – lynch us down the street ” Now, what do you think this MURDER did, what do you think he ws talking about?? IT is no longer an AMerican govn’t….WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!

  3. avatar William says:

    My understanding was that she was interrogated for THREE HOURS with no parent present. Congratulations to the Keystone State for bringing this pint-sized terrorist to justice. Send her to Gitmo and ready the waterboard.


  4. avatar SCS says:

    Holy Hell! Have these people lost ALL of their senses??

  5. avatar BobtheGrape says:

    What idiots, morons, cretins, anuses, etc,etc,etc.

  6. avatar Mister Fleas says:

    Homeschooling is good alternative to the insanity.

    1. avatar Ivy Mike says:


    2. avatar SCS says:

      My wife (Masters + in education) home schools our youngest for various reasons. Schools these days are pretty pathetic in teaching the basics of reading, writing and math. We also don’t have to worry about Asshats like this “educating” my daughter.

  7. avatar Robert K. Tompsett says:

    Oh, that looks so ungodly dangerous!!!! SARCASUM!!!

  8. avatar Hal says:

    Ugh. I was born a few towns over from Mt Carmel. One of a SELECT FEW central PA communities overflowing at the brim with democrats, in my experience. Go figure.

  9. avatar In Memphis says:

    Did they check the bubble solution for traces of chemical and biological weapons?

  10. avatar Troy Peterson says:

    Way to go Mr. Stellar you freakin pinhead. You have ruined a childs life you bully. Now this innocent little girl will be on the no fly list, and will never be able to legally own a gun. Hope you get some street justice.

  11. avatar Ivy Mike says:

    Officer Bubbles, is that you?

  12. avatar Pascal says:

    Just think, these are the people in charge of teaching your kids.

    There was another similar case where a 5 year boy was suspended because he was talking to a friend about “shooting grease with a grease gun”

    In a way, this is how Holder wants to brainwash America. Any time any gun reference is used regardless of context, you put a beat down on this person no matter the age.

    This how they do it China for political dissent and how they used to do it in Russia. This what Obama means about moving forward, he means running you over until you 100% agree with them. Because there shall be no dissenting opinion allowed.

    Seriously, educators and education administrators worry me more than stupid politicians because they over see our future leadership. I hope parents don’t put up with this shit.

    1. avatar Ivy Mike says:

      the people in charge of teaching your kids

      Me (and my wife.)

  13. avatar Silver says:

    Another day in Orwellian bizarro America.

  14. avatar Thomas Paine says:

    it’s insane that i have had to tell my kids not to bring a nerf gun to school, or make shooting gestures, etc.

    God forbid they brought an empty shell casing or lead bullet for show and tell or for their buddies on the playground. I make sure my firearms, primers, and powder are locked up, but now i have to worry about EVERYTHING? What if they brought a piece of a trigger or something they found in my gigantic box of parts?

    Why do i have to worry about this?

  15. avatar In Memphis says:

    Okay Im going to say this and y’all are welcome to light me up for it because I know what Im saying is #[email protected]%ed up.

    I think this is absoloutley horrible and I also think exploiting children is horrible BUT this should be used to show our country how off the #[email protected]%ing world the gun control crowd is.

  16. avatar ron Rowland says:

    This certainly sounds like a slander suit againt the public officals. They have slander this 5 yr old girl on what is a wanton abuss of power.

  17. avatar Ralph says:

    You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,
    You’ve got to be taught from year to year,
    It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear,
    You’ve got to be carefully taught.

    — Oscar Hammerstein II

  18. avatar Lance says:

    Its sick how liberal scum want to go after little kids who done nothing. But ignore mass murders because psychopaths have there rights in liberals mind.

  19. avatar JPD says:

    I sent this email to the elementary school principal

    “I will sleep well tonight!! Knowing that you and the administration of your school district are protecting all of America from vicious 5 year old terrorists with LETHAL BUBBLE MAKING GUNS!!!

    Was the problem that the bubble maker had a 30 round bubble magazine???

    One question… many brain cells do any of you possess??? “

    1. avatar In Memphis says:

      Haha! Awesome. Please let us know if you get a response.

  20. avatar Johnny says:

    Terrorist threat.

    Somebody needs to resign and check into the nearest mental health institution.

  21. avatar Milsurp Collector says:

    Everyone who reads this article needs to write a letter to this Bernard Stellar guy and flood his office mailbox. The people who sit by in silence and let a tyrant go about his business unquestioned are an accessory to the very misery the tyrant creates.

    This isn’t some high ranking politician with all the powers of Emperor Palpatine. This is an elementary school official in Bumble-fvck Pennsylvania. If enough of us write letters calling this guy out, we could possibly get him fired. Sure, he may be replaced by some other dictatorial gremlin down the road, but we could call the next one out on it too when he decides to interrogate toddlers for three hours over so called “terrorist threats”.

    If they decide to flip us the bird, keep Stellar in their little dictatorship, and use our letters as firewood, then at least we can walk away with honor and say we tried to make a difference.

  22. avatar إبليس says:

    Interesting. From schoolhouses to workplaces we’re witnessing a steady rise in speech-code enforcement. An off color schwartzer joke (excuse the pun) or tale of romantic conquests leads to frightening consequences. Now firearms are entering into the equation. I’ve felt it myself concerning arms.

    All in all it’s a good excuse to become self-employed if possible. Speech-codes have two effects on youth: mental manipulation (a la Sapir Whorf) or compartmentalization. The latter being where a kid can create a school personality (PC Jimmy) and a free personality (Jimmy on the rifle team).

    I can foresee this as leading to a wider gulf between mainstreamers and those seceding from the System (in their hearts, for now). Time will tell.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      Yes, there’s speech code enforcement galore, but it’s purpose is not speech control, it’s thought control. And that’s been in public schools since forever.

      I got in trouble in grade school in the 1950s. The teacher told my mother that I was a nonconformist. My mom told the teacher, “that’s good,” and then she told me not to change.

    2. avatar Ivy Mike says:

      schoolhouses to workplaces

      Stay out of school.

      Don’t work for the Man.

  23. avatar Conway Redding says:

    Not that it’s likely to make much difference, but I sent the following email to Bernard Stellar:

    Bernard Stellar,

    I know that news stories are often misreported, and I’m hoping that’s what’s happened in the case that has come to my attention of a 5-year-old girl who has been suspended for 10 days from school by the Mount Carmel Area School District after being overheard telling a friend that she would shoot that friend and herself with a plastic toy that blows bubbles. Really? If so, I believe you need to take a close look at the mental competency of those whom you supervise. Suspending this child, if the circumstances are indeed as claimed, is an act of quintessential stupidity, and whoever made the decision to do so needs to be, um, counseled. Indeed, as far as I am concerned, this is such a monumental lapse in common sense that it is hard for me to imagine what job function the person responsible for it could competently fulfill. I mean, WTF, man?

    I speak as a clinical psychologist with some 42 years of experience — child, adult, outpatient, inpatient, and law enforcement.

  24. avatar jp says:

    Superintendent Bernard Stellar should be arrested for criminal stupidity

  25. avatar Goldenboy says:

    Stupid bureaucrats and politicians are a bigger threat to America than terrorists could ever hope to be.

  26. avatar LongPurple says:

    Just when you think the hoplophobes have reached the limit of stupidity, they reach way down deep, and surpass themselves.

  27. avatar pat says:

    Libtard. Exhibit A. There is just nothing to say about this story regarding a reasonable explanation. Nothing. No defense. Down the Rabbit hole…..all the way. It would be SOOO hard to keep ones temper in check if a parent. Lawsuits.
    Crazy, evil, leftists. How can anybody vote democrat?

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