You May Be A Gun Nut If . . .

Microewave (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

You reheat your coffee in increments of caliber. Your turn . . .


  1. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    You may be a gun nut if the first thing you notice on an Israeli model is her trigger discipline.

    1. avatar Kris says:

      This makes you a “gun nut”, but it also means you’ve failed a very important test. The correct answer is “there was a gun in the picture?”

      1. avatar Jonathan says:

        Those aren’t the guns I was looking at

    2. avatar Daily Beatings says:

      No, it means that you’re a gun nut that happens to be gay unless the Israeli model looks like Judd Hirsch.

      1. avatar Hannibal says:

        …can gun nuts not be female?

    3. avatar David Flores says:

      Sad but true !!!!!!!!○~○

  2. avatar Jake says:

    You make a point to look at your 24-hour clock at 0919 and 1911.

    Or a 12-hour clock at 9:19, 3:57, and 5:56.

    1. avatar brentondadams says:

      Beat me to it.

      1. avatar Korvis says:

        Me too. Curses!

        1. avatar DJ9 says:

          What about 10:22?

    2. avatar styrgwillidar says:

      …or find yourself routinely waking up at 2:23, 3:57, 5:56

    3. avatar Grindstone says:

      The numbers on my license plate are 545.

    4. avatar Usriflecaliber.30m1 says:

      Can’t forget 3:08.

    5. avatar SD3 says:

      2 x .45 = (you guessed it…) .9mm!!!

  3. avatar brentondadams says:

    You laugh when your watch (or anything else) says 5.56

    1. avatar Anonymoose says:

      I’ve spent $7.62 several times, or got it back in change, in the last couple of weeks.

  4. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    …while looking for change in the couch cushions you find a handgun you forgot you owned.

    1. avatar SD3 says:

      …there you go!

    2. avatar Justsomeguy says:

      That happened to me. I found a 1911 in a recliner that I thought was stolen with several other guns. Did the burglar sit in my chair and drop it or….?

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        Nah, you just misplaced it.

    3. You have to dig through your guns to find some change.

  5. avatar Kris says:

    You have dozens of computer passwords and every one of them is a variation of a model of gun.

    1. avatar davidx says:

      Yup, passwords. For many years now.

      And yup, the microwave and the timer on the stove.

  6. avatar Jake says:

    A gun nut and a gamer if you purchased Saint’s Row 4 primarily for the awesome trigger discipline on the cover art.

  7. avatar 12duallydog says:

    All my on line passwords have gun names and calibers in them

  8. avatar JohnO says:

    … If you take screen shots on your phone when a caliber or model number is represented by the given time.

  9. avatar DrewR55 says:

    I named my dog Heckler and I’d love to get a Koch

    1. avatar KingSarc48265 says:

      I’ve got a Blue Heeler named Ruger.

      1. avatar MrVigs says:

        I had a chocolate lab named Ruger. My father-in-law had a german short hair named Beretta.

        1. avatar matt bright says:

          my nephew is named barrett

  10. avatar Rosco says:

    You go to make exact change and you pull out 2 quarters, a dime, and a hollow point.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Ha! Guilty. Well, not a hollowpoint, but spent brass.

      And I have had a stray .22 lr cartridge fall out of my coat pocket at work before (in a “gun-free” zone, no less).

      1. avatar Rosco says:

        I had a 556 round fall out of my coat at school and the random lady next to me loud as can be said”why do you have a High powered gun bullet!?” I replyed its not a bullet its a piece of metal (first thing that came to my head) she said “ohh OK.”

    2. avatar Bret says:

      I leave spare mags in my pockets all the time at work. Usually happens when I’m in a hurry. On time I went to grab my multi tool and grabbed a speed loader.

  11. avatar Don says:

    you unintentionally check your watch EVERY DAMN DAY at 3:08 and 5:56

  12. avatar Rosco says:

    Even your toothbrush is stippled.

    1. I stippled my soldering gun grip.

  13. avatar Don says:

    your phone has rung in public and you’ve answered a spare magazine.

    1. avatar TroyBilt says:

      That is very funny right there.

    2. avatar Kris says:

      You report to a federal building and remember to leave your phone and gun in the car but forget about the full magazine in your coat pocket as your belongings travel through the X-ray. (It requires no explanation and the security officer politely asks you to return it to your vehicle.)

      1. avatar Roymond says:

        At one of the nearby county courthouses here, they’d seize it, write you up, search you thoroughly, take fingerprints, and reserve the right to prosecute in the future.

    3. You don’t have a “spare” magazine but you carry 4 backup mags.

  14. avatar Model 31 says:

    You buy a gun and three days later, all your friends say you’ve already told them about it…twice. BTW, the great friends simply give you a “courtesy” nod while the others start repeating stuff about your gun back to you.

  15. avatar Don says:

    You’ve had to install floor jacks under your gun safe and ammo stash.

    1. avatar SD3 says:

      Bless you, sir.

    2. avatar Tori S says:

      LMAO! Truth! I’m in the middle of adding steel supports under my safe as I write this!

    3. avatar Jeff in MS says:


    4. avatar Scott says:

      I’m going to install the support jacks before I get my safe.

  16. avatar Don says:

    If most of your guns aren’t plastic.

    1. Most of your guns were bought with plastic.

      1. avatar Don says:

        I exclusively deal in cash for firearms transactions.

  17. avatar DickDanger says:

    If you regularly use your large collection of firearms for hunting and recreation…is that too literal?

  18. avatar Don says:

    You collect different barrel length versions of your favorite guns.

  19. avatar Don says:

    You have separate insurance for your collection.

    1. avatar MiketheHopsFarmer says:


      1. avatar Avid Reader says:

        Ditto. Got me.

    2. avatar cheapshooter says:

      Didn’t have firearms insurance. “Friend” broke into house and almost got whole collection (knew my Password to one safe but key to other stays with me) home insurance only gave me $2500. will have insurance on what’s left soon.

  20. avatar Rabbit says:

    If you own more than one gun that has never been fired.

    1. avatar Don says:

      You own, reload for, and fire guns that OTHER people typically own and never fire!

  21. avatar JAlan says:

    Why would you reheat coffee? Brew a new cup, or drink it the first time, you barbarian. Why I bet you don’t even grind your own beans.

    1. avatar Model 31 says:

      Sometimes I get sidetracked at work -you know, other folks problems and all. I reheat coffee for 44 seconds but I never questioned -why 44 seconds? It just seems right.

      1. I hate when you are waiting on the microwave and the guy in front of you pushes 1-0-0.
        You yell “just push 60!”

        1. avatar KCK says:

          Push 6 6
          Close enough and 1 minute is arbitrary any way.
          Don’t have to hunt down the zero.
          11 22 33 etc

  22. avatar MotoJB says:

    You refer to multiple body parts my “gun” or my “guns”.

  23. avatar LC Judas says:

    If you have ever said you would buy a certain gun again then done so.

  24. avatar Nelson says:

    when my clock reads 2:23, I do the covert ‘Pew Pew Pew! at a dog hearing level.


    1. avatar rip_vw32 says:

      When someone puts ‘xD’ at the end of a comment, and your first thought is Springfield.

      1. avatar Ing says:

        Yep. Every time.

        1. avatar CarlosT says:

          Gets me too. I can’t even read it as a emoticon unless I force it. Otherwise, it’s “ex-dee”.

  25. avatar onezero says:

    You’re retired and have a part time job at a firearms dealer just so you can talk all day long with people with the same interests and the discount. And very little of your paycheck makes it to the bank.

    1. avatar davidx says:

      Yeah, that’s pretty much my highest aspiration nowadays, as I continue to wait uselessly for call-backs and interview results for IT gigs up here.

  26. avatar DaveM says:

    Many moons ago I had been shopping for my first revolver, thinking Model 28
    Couple days later while thinking about spending $ on a handgun I really could not afford at the time.
    Happened to check my watch and it was 357, I still have it that 28.

    1. avatar WRH says:

      I have done the same. I hope to have my 586 for many years to come.

  27. avatar Roll says:

    You have ammo for guns you don’t own.

    There are more gun related items in your closet than clothes.

    You take home your brass from the range, but you don’t reload; you don’t even have reloading equipment.

    I’m guilty of all of these.

    1. avatar SD3 says:

      Dad? Is that you?!?

    2. avatar ColoradoSigfan says:

      I do the same… maybe one day the giant pile of (sorted) brass in my closet will force me to buy some reloading equipment.

      1. I have two separate bags of .223 and 5.56. I don’t reload but I can’t mix the brass.

  28. avatar Brad says:

    … you remind all of your friends and family what caliber of ammunition your guns use in the weeks leading up to Christmas

    1. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

      Guilty, also reminded them what my favorite range was and requested gift certificates !

  29. avatar SteveO says:

    …You find yourself practicing proper trigger control when pumping fuel.

    Even moreso, when you are looking to see if others are practicing when filling their vehicles.

    1. avatar Rick K says:

      As long as you don’t practice your draw/fire technique with the nozzle!

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        Bad trigger discipline at the gas pump.

    2. avatar Phil COV says:

      What about trigger discipline on the cordless drill?

      1. avatar NinjaTED says:

        Oh, god…. I thought I was the only one that did that.

        1. avatar Ebenezer Bowman says:

          Or windex bottle, pretty much anything with even a quasi trigger

        2. The wand of my pressure washer feels like the most comfortable rifle I ever held.

      2. avatar Roymond says:


        Also when using a mixer when baking.

        1. avatar Colorado Kid says:


      3. avatar Cheddat says:

        My work station has several trigger-actuated barcode scanners (one that projects a crosshair!), and an IR thermometer with laser sight. I practice aaaaalll the time.

    3. avatar Roymond says:


      I caught myself the other day, while doing conservation work, with my index finger along the handle of my hand clippers until I started clipping, at which point I curved it around the handle. A friend said he’s noticed me doing that for months.

  30. avatar S.CROCK says:

    When you watch reviews of guns you already have.

    When you own ammo/ accessories for guns you don’t own.

    When you are running out of excuses for buying another gun so you say “screw it, I am now a ‘collector'” (imho being a collector is not a valid reason to buy your fourth G 19)

    When you watch a war movie and know the type of gun, caliber, and grain bullet of most of the weapons used.

    When you spend more time on TTAG than all other sites combined.

    1. avatar Sam says:

      Guilty of the movie one. Have a buddy that won’t watch movies with me anymore because I always subconsciously do it aloud. Lol

  31. avatar SD3 says:

    You buy full-capacity magazines for firearms you don’t even own!…….(just in case).

  32. avatar Rick K says:

    …if you have to wash your hands 7 times a day to prevent lead poisoning.

    …if you name your dog “FN”.

    …if you have a walk-in closet devoted to gun boxes, holsters, cases, gun rugs, mag holders and slings.

    …if you have a different range bag for every day of the week.

    …if your local gun store calls you every time their sales are a bit slow.

    …if you’re “the guy” that everyone at the range calls when they have a gun question.

    1. avatar Sabrewolfe says:

      Make that LEGITIMATELY have to wash your hands 7 times a day. Otherwise you’re just paranoid and/or have OCD.

  33. avatar Phil COV says:

    Just happened to me on the way home. Saw a bumper sticker that appeared to be the standard spoked-circle emblem of the empire from Star Wars. Upon second inspection, recognized it as a cross section of Eugene Stoner’s bolt.

  34. avatar PeterC says:

    You have more than four loading presses, and the size of your firearms collection database made you install extra computer memory.

  35. avatar Nagurski says:

    Every time you walk into Walmart, you are in danger of spending hundred of dollars on ammo.

    1. You and your wife get separated in Walmart and she always finds you in front of the ammo cabinet.

  36. avatar Scottlac says:

    You settle in Kentucky after retiring from the Army just for the firearms freedom and to live within the triangle of Buds Gun Shop, KyGunCo, and Knob Creek.

    1. avatar ShaunL. says:

      That triangle was a great place to live but southern Indiana isn’t worse by much.

      I’ve also bought a gun in a new caliber because I could buy cases of mil. surp. ammo CHEAP. I owned ammo before I had my TT-33 or CZ-52.

  37. avatar Phil COV says:

    You can estimate fps to within 5% based on caliber and barrel-length. Extra points for factoring in bullet grain.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      You can calculate muzzle energy in your head.

      Lessee, 158 grains at 1250fps. That 1250 x 1250 = 1,562,500 x 158 = 246,875,000 / 450,400 = 548.1lbs/ft of energy.

      Yea, it’s bad enough when you can do it with a calculator.

      1. avatar Darkstar says:

        That gave me a chuckle. I do that all the time.

    2. avatar BluesMike says:

      You can calculate power factor in your head. Hmmm, 180 grain bullet, 920 fps, whoa, barely made it. Yep you are a gun nut if you know what I meant there.

  38. avatar jwm says:

    All the above. *SIGH* I guess I’m too old to get a life now. Oh well, guess i’m just stuck with being a gun nut.

  39. avatar MarkB says:

    You feel the need to give people a class on ballistics every time they try to say an AK-47 is accurate…

    1. avatar S.CROCK says:

      How often do people say an AK-47 is accurate?

      1. avatar ShaunL. says:

        Every time a person buys their first AK.

  40. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

    …If you can’t help but take a picture when the number of your hotel room, electronic restaurant coaster (for when your table is ready), or anything else is a caliber.

  41. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    You really don’t know how much ammo you have.
    In any caliber.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      You just know your ready. If the SHTF.

    2. avatar Rick K says:

      or you’re not really sure how many guns you have in any given caliber.

      1. avatar Paul G says:

        hey now, I just haven’t counted lately.

      2. avatar JJ48 says:

        …or you’re not even sure how many different calibers you own.

        1. avatar ShaunL. says:

          Or you had your GF and mom teach you Excel so you could keep track.

  42. avatar mike oregon says:

    If you ever bought 3 rifles in.308 and the same models in 30.06 to check inherent cartridge accuracy, winner ..308. (This was before wife and kids.)

  43. avatar SpecialK says:

    You ask the guy sitting in front of you in the movie theater if he could please suppress his phone.

  44. avatar Southern Cross says:

    You use .22LR as negotiable currency.

  45. avatar Rick K says:

    ….if you can convince your wife to name your twin daughters “Smith” and “Wesson”.

    …if you scour your neighbor’s garbage for things you can use to make silhouettes.

    1. I actually have an extra roll away trash bin in the garage full of cardboard. My wife says “are you going to take that can to the street?” I say “No I am saving it for something”.

  46. avatar Southern Cross says:

    No after shave smells as good as Hoppes #9.

    1. Your cleaning your bore and your wife says “That smells good!”

      1. avatar Rambeast says:


  47. avatar SpecialK says:

    If when your wife asks you to pass her hair clip over you tell her she should really refer to it as a hair magazine.

    1. avatar Broken 3ight says:

      And then she goes to the safe, rips the mosin out of the back of it, and proceeds to use it as it was intended: to club you over the head with it.

  48. avatar Darkstar says:

    When you equate the price of everything you buy to guns…..$1,500 for that furniture, damn thats 3 glocks…..

  49. avatar Paul G says:

    Your boys are named Colt, Ruger, and Sigi, and you have a dog named Weatherby.

  50. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    You work in a high end, custom knife shop and your desk looks like this….

    Truly a gun nut if you can ID every one of those.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Them’s boolits. Do I get a prise? 🙂

      1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

        You get to let me buy you and yours dinner if you can find me a place to kill piggies.

        1. avatar jwm says:

          I’m still looking. Hunting public lands in CA has it’s drawbacks. I have hopes that now that the rains are here maybe the pigs will move back onto public land and we won’t have to pay 6 bills to shoot a pig doing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the farmers property.

  51. avatar MikeA says:

    If you keep a shoty by the shower for trouble when ur shiting

    1. And I thought I was the only one…

      that shits in the shower.

      Hey! I’m saving water!

      1. avatar JoeVK says:

        Just don’t do it after eating corn, because it tends to plug those little holes in the drain.

        1. Not a problem. I chew my corn well.

    2. avatar James in MO says:

      Must be pretty bad if you have to use a shotgun as a laxative…

  52. avatar C.S. says:

    You can recite the Article the Fourth / 2nd Amendment by heart, including punctuation
    You laugh at what the NYC police call an “arsenal”
    You think your gun safe is too small
    “BC” doesn’t refer to a time period
    You suck at math, but you can convert between standard and metric with ease
    You look at yourself in the mirror each morning, but not to see if you’re fat
    You convince your significant other to setup a trust
    You know who said the following:
    “The shoulder thingy that goes up”
    “You don’t need an AR-15 to defend yourself”
    “Life is good”
    “I am a grown-ass man”
    “Hey Sharp Shots”
    You read TTAG at least five times a day

    1. Good stuff C.S.! You should comment more often!

      1. avatar JoshtheViking says:


    2. avatar JoshtheViking says:

      “The shoulder thingy that goes up”
      Senator Carolyn Mccarthy
      “You don’t need an AR-15 to defend yourself”
      Joe Biden
      “Life is good”
      “I am a grown-ass man”
      “Hey Sharp Shots”

      Do I win a prize? :^)

  53. avatar Howard moore says:

    When you get pulled over and the officer asks for for regestration, you open the glove box, assorted ammo falls out and the officer nervously asks if the is a firearm in the truck and you answer, I’m not sure

    1. avatar Roymond says:


      Been there, done that, except once it was a holster.

      We spent ten minutes talking guns and he forgot why he pulled me over. 🙂

  54. avatar Southern Cross says:

    You watch gun movies more for technical and historical accuracy than for the story.

    You buy DVDs solely on the firearms on the front cover. Bonus points if they are anime.

    And is on your frequently viewed sites.

  55. avatar Roymond says:

    YMBAGNI when you wake up to a house fire you grab your guns and leave your clothes.

    1. avatar Phil COV says:

      That’s just good sense!

  56. avatar Phil COV says:

    If you had the choice between 6″ or 16″, you’d take the 6″… barrel.

    1. That’s NOT what she said.

  57. avatar Rick K says:

    I refer to my lefty Beretta 692 O/U Sporting as “My wife’s Sub-Zero refrigerator”…does that count?

  58. avatar Patrick says:

    You might be a gun nut if you find guns in you collection that you forgot you owned.

  59. avatar Sam Wright says:

    If you have a large tackle box containing all the springs and pins you could ever need for your firearms. Parts could be hard to find after the zombie apocalypse.
    If the first thing you want to know about a politician running for office is what is their NRA grade.

  60. avatar mike says:

    ….. you insist on visiting TTAG multiple times a day even though it is THE slowest website online thanks to the shitloads of ads and scripts.

    1. avatar James in MO says:

      Firefox and AdBlock Plus my friend… it’s all you need.

    2. avatar Andrey in NYC says:

      Yep, Firefox and adblock.

  61. Every hillside you see driving through the country you think “That would make a good shooting range”.

    1. avatar John from PA says:

      Just moved up to South Central PA, from a densely populated Baltimore suburb. This x1000

  62. avatar Ray says:

    You can outfit a rifle squad with primary and secondary weapons and a full basic load of ammo without having to crack open the second safe (that’s for the heavy weapons section).

    Your walk in closet would make your old drill sergeant weep with joy.

  63. avatar Mark says:

    You own a bore brush/bore snake for every caliber made!!

    1. avatar ShaunL. says:

      I e-mailed them to ask if they sold a full set.

  64. avatar JoeVK says:

    You have your 350 Chevy bored out to 357.

    Your significant other has ever stopped watching tv or movies with you because of your need to identify every weapon featured in them.

    My wife almost quit watching The Walking Dead with me because I’m always criticizing the characters for using their guns as clubs when they run out of ammo.

    1. avatar DrewR55 says:

      Or forgetting to mount rear sights to their ARs

      1. avatar Rambeast says:

        Ugh, That drives me nuts, and my friends. I get stuff thrown at me for yelling “WTF are you sighting through!?”.

  65. avatar JoshtheViking says:

    My old license plate had 228 as part of the number. It was easy to remember because the first thing I thought of when I got the plate was a SIG p228.

  66. avatar JoeVK says:

    You use a lose .22lr round when you can’t find a pencil.
    My wife did her homework that way when she was a kid because .22lr was more easily found in her house than pencils.

  67. avatar Tim Ellwood says:

    You buy a gun, only to find out that you already owned it and sold it two years before (and cant remember why).
    You buy a gun to fit a nice holster you found at a great deal
    Ditto on buying one to go with a set of “bargain” grips
    After your 1st divorce, its hard to go to a gun show for a couple years,
    because every table has at least one of the guns you used to own.
    You have never seen a episode of “Walking Dead” because you saw the 1st 10 mins of the pilot and turned the channel when at the roadblock scene, they “made sure their Glock safeties were off”

  68. avatar Jake Tallman says:

    If you recently learned to run a chainsaw and spent two months on a professional saw crew, and it took you a month to NOT be a bit freaked out that you can’t really have your finger off the trigger while not revving.

  69. avatar Ben S. says:

    You might be a gun nut if…

    …you’re on a date with a girl, she asks if you have protection, and you reply, “Yes. Which caliber?”
    …when shopping at Best Buy, you absent-mindedly ask the floor salesman which appliances come with manual safeties.
    …when someone asks how many guns you own, you break out a calculator and call your tracking agent for an inventory update.
    …the UPS guy knows you on a first-name basis and knows, based on which online gun parts supply stores have packages for you, when to bring extra help to off-load your shipment this week.
    …when you buy ammo, you don’t go to Walmart, you award a supplier a contract.
    …you wear a little plastic bracelet on your arm that says, “What Would John Moses Browning Do?”
    …you actually do own a couple of High Point pistols. They’re tied to long ropes and attached to the bow of your fishing boat down on the dock.

  70. avatar YO_V says:

    Everyday I leave for work at 3:57

  71. avatar Jake from Detroit says:

    I have an entire sequence from the research through financing and cleaning and the shooting and storing, on how to hide new gun purchases from the wife. I mean, I have it written down somewhere.

  72. avatar Jimmy Wade says:

    You might be a gun nut if you find yourself practicing exceptional trigger discipline even when using a spray bottle.

    1. avatar JoeVK says:

      I catch myself doing that too. Not just with spray bottles, though. I’ve done it when using my drill too.

  73. avatar BluesMike says:

    Let’s see.
    1. You and your wife consider a nice quiet evening at home to be sitting in front of the TV hand priming. Yep, you guessed it – we wear eye and ear protection and turn the TV up loud. It hasn’t happened yet (while hand priming) but I’ve popped a few on the press.
    2. You buy another of the same shotgun because you re-purposed the first one and you have a nice forend with a streamlight on it just sitting there needing a shotgun.

  74. avatar Jeff says:

    Your guns and ammo cost more than your house.

  75. avatar Kevin says:

    Your enemies call you a gun nut, your friends step in and deny that you are a gun nut because you are alternatively an ammosexual, at which point you have to cut them short and set them straight that you are actually, instead merely a gundamentalist.

    You by a gun because you inherited some ammo in that caliber.

  76. avatar Nick says:

    … You compulsively clean up and take home left over brass at the range, even for calibers you’ve never owned.

    Guilty of this myself. I just can’t leave em. Some schmuck left about 300 pieces of 357 sig around and I just couldn’t leave them there. Half were nickel too. Honestly I wish it happened more often.

    1. avatar scoutino says:

      When you not only collect brass in caliber in which you don’t own any guns, but also reload it.
      I have couple thousands of .45 rounds and no .45 gun….yet.

  77. avatar Buck says:

    You are asked “Whats your favorite gun”
    Your reply ” The next one.”

    1. avatar KCK says:

      Be careful, while wearing his third ring, that is what Tom Brady responded when asked which Super Bowl win was his favorite.

  78. avatar Jason says:

    …You’ve watched Star Wars episodes 4-6 (the old ones) and thought about Bill Ruger every time you saw the Rebel Alliance Logo.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      If you’re really a gun nut you’d know to think of Alexander Sturm on that one.

  79. avatar TXGal says:

    When you have a major screw up you refer to it as a “just shoot me now” moment. When you decide to quit a really awful job, you tell your husband “time to put a bullet in it” When you give ammo and 5Star speed loaders and put them a gun rug, instead of wrapping paper for Christmas gifts to family. Sold or gave away a pistol or revolver cause you wanted to cut down on the calibers you had, then missed them so had to buy replacements for the exact same guns, then you are a gun nut

  80. avatar Claymore says:

    When you heard about the guy arrested near the White House with 800 rounds of ammo in his truck, you thought “he’s almost out of ammo.”

  81. avatar Rambeast says:

    When you catch yourself correcting inconsistencies/mistakes while watching youtube gun reviews.

  82. avatar Gregolas says:

    In order to get you feeling frisky, your wife dabs a little Hoppe’s #9 behind each ear.

  83. avatar Joshua says:

    You’re at a restaurant with the wife and request to have 9 or 45 as your table number.

  84. avatar Bryce says:

    You own 2 or more NFA regulates firearms. I WIN

  85. avatar 357M28 says:

    You may be a gun nut, if you read/hear a DGU story and get your undies in a twist because, there is no mention of gun type or caliber.

  86. avatar JJ48 says:

    You may be a gun nut if…

    …your coworkers have heard more about your gun collection than they have about your kids.

    …you keep track of how many shots the hero has fired in a movie, so you can point out the exact moment his magazine SHOULD HAVE run out.

    …after a DGU, the first thing you tell the police is what was wrong with the bad guy’s stance and grip.

    …a kid chews a Pop Tart gun and you react with shock because its grip is at an incorrect angle.

    …you can tell when the audio of a gunshot isn’t from the same type of gun as the visual being fired. (e.g. a 1911 is fired, but the gunshot sound is CLEARLY that of a Desert Eagle)

  87. avatar Jay-El says:

    When you bring home a new wife and hope your guns don’t find out.

  88. avatar m0t0 says:

    You see a pile of guns and ammo and think to yourself, thats a good start.

  89. avatar Tex300BLK says:

    The first few times you leave the house with a defensive gun in the car and you pray that you get pulled just so that you can try out your perfectly practiced “Officer, I just wanted to let you know I am carrying a gun today…” spiel for the first time.

    1. avatar S.CROCK says:

      Who in the world wants that?

  90. avatar Tom Collins says:

    – use your brass tumbler for cleaning motorcycle and bicycle parts
    – use your .22 cleaning rod for getting the mold out of your camel bak tube
    – use your powder scale for weighing mail, motorcycle and bicycle parts
    – use full ammo cans for doorstops
    – have used a shotgun bore brush to clean your BBQ grill
    – buy shooting gloves 3 pair at a time
    – have Slime brand inner tubes on your range cart

  91. avatar GuntotinDem says:

    You wash your hands in the same sequence as your reloading drills

  92. avatar James R says:

    …If you have bough ammo because it was a good deal even though you don’t own guns in that caliber, just because you probably will some day.

  93. avatar Jeff in MS says:

    1. If you buy a second copy of a gun you like, just in case something happens to the first one and they aren’t making it anymore, OR

    2. You buy a second copy of a gun you like, because you forgot you already had one.

  94. avatar PerplexedPistolero says:

    When you buy ammunition for a gun you don’t have yet, and the gun magically appears less than a year later.

    You buy bullets and dies before you have a reloading press, because it was a really good deal.

    Reloading manuals are lunch-time reading at work.

    Christmas lists are fulfilled at Natchez, Brownells and Top Gun.

    Your favorite gun shop calls you when guns you have barely wished for come in-and you live three hours away.

    Family Thanksgiving prep consists of making sure no guns are left behind.

    You have more full ammo cans than cases of beer in the fridge.

    Buying guns in obscure calibers delights you because you can correctly explain-ad nauseum-the history and purpose of those cartridges to anyone and everyone.

  95. avatar Buster says:

    …if you find spent brass in your washing machine and/or dryer.

  96. Your guns are spotless but you don’t mind the 3-day old frenchfries under the seat of your truck.

    1. avatar Nick porter says:

      Guilty of that too.

  97. avatar Weaz says:

    That look on the repairman’s face when he pulls a handful of 22 shells out of the washing machine pump. His reaction when you scold your 6 year old for leaving them in his pocket. Bonus points when he blames his little sister.

    1. avatar davidx says:

      More bonus points when his little sister pistol-whips him with a Ruger Blackhawk. The repairman is probably racing out to his van by then and will miss some of this…

  98. avatar JWTaylor says:

    You people have issues. Almost everything I’ve read here is all perfectly normal behavior. Right?

  99. avatar CarlosT says:

    When you type 7 on your phone, and it suggests 75B or 7.62x54R.

  100. avatar Jervis says:

    You classify girls by means of calibers. Got a date with a nice Lapua Magnum this Saturday, wish me luck TTAG !

    1. avatar Robert Farago says:

      Good luck.

    2. avatar Michael in GA says:

      Does that mean she will go all the way?
      I married a 9mm. Just the right size. Elected Most Popular in high school and Homecoming Queen.
      In college, I dated a .40S&W. She was short and snappy.
      And I admit it. I have been with a .45acp. She was fat and slow and after just one shot, I was done.

      1. avatar Red says:

        You just made my day!

  101. avatar Phil in NYC says:

    … when you sneeze, you always point in a safe direction.

  102. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    Reheat coffee? What kind of commie bastard do you have to be to do something like that?

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