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Microewave (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

You reheat your coffee in increments of caliber. Your turn . . .

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  1. You may be a gun nut if the first thing you notice on an Israeli model is her trigger discipline.

  2. You make a point to look at your 24-hour clock at 0919 and 1911.

    Or a 12-hour clock at 9:19, 3:57, and 5:56.

  3. …while looking for change in the couch cushions you find a handgun you forgot you owned.

  4. A gun nut and a gamer if you purchased Saint’s Row 4 primarily for the awesome trigger discipline on the cover art.

  5. … If you take screen shots on your phone when a caliber or model number is represented by the given time.

    • Ha! Guilty. Well, not a hollowpoint, but spent brass.

      And I have had a stray .22 lr cartridge fall out of my coat pocket at work before (in a “gun-free” zone, no less).

      • I had a 556 round fall out of my coat at school and the random lady next to me loud as can be said”why do you have a High powered gun bullet!?” I replyed its not a bullet its a piece of metal (first thing that came to my head) she said “ohh OK.”

    • I leave spare mags in my pockets all the time at work. Usually happens when I’m in a hurry. On time I went to grab my multi tool and grabbed a speed loader.

    • You report to a federal building and remember to leave your phone and gun in the car but forget about the full magazine in your coat pocket as your belongings travel through the X-ray. (It requires no explanation and the security officer politely asks you to return it to your vehicle.)

      • At one of the nearby county courthouses here, they’d seize it, write you up, search you thoroughly, take fingerprints, and reserve the right to prosecute in the future.

  6. You buy a gun and three days later, all your friends say you’ve already told them about it…twice. BTW, the great friends simply give you a “courtesy” nod while the others start repeating stuff about your gun back to you.

  7. If you regularly use your large collection of firearms for hunting and recreation…is that too literal?

  8. Why would you reheat coffee? Brew a new cup, or drink it the first time, you barbarian. Why I bet you don’t even grind your own beans.

    • Sometimes I get sidetracked at work -you know, other folks problems and all. I reheat coffee for 44 seconds but I never questioned -why 44 seconds? It just seems right.

  9. You’re retired and have a part time job at a firearms dealer just so you can talk all day long with people with the same interests and the discount. And very little of your paycheck makes it to the bank.

    • Yeah, that’s pretty much my highest aspiration nowadays, as I continue to wait uselessly for call-backs and interview results for IT gigs up here.

  10. Many moons ago I had been shopping for my first revolver, thinking Model 28
    Couple days later while thinking about spending $ on a handgun I really could not afford at the time.
    Happened to check my watch and it was 357, I still have it that 28.

  11. You have ammo for guns you don’t own.

    There are more gun related items in your closet than clothes.

    You take home your brass from the range, but you don’t reload; you don’t even have reloading equipment.

    I’m guilty of all of these.

  12. … you remind all of your friends and family what caliber of ammunition your guns use in the weeks leading up to Christmas

  13. …You find yourself practicing proper trigger control when pumping fuel.

    Even moreso, when you are looking to see if others are practicing when filling their vehicles.

  14. When you watch reviews of guns you already have.

    When you own ammo/ accessories for guns you don’t own.

    When you are running out of excuses for buying another gun so you say “screw it, I am now a ‘collector'” (imho being a collector is not a valid reason to buy your fourth G 19)

    When you watch a war movie and know the type of gun, caliber, and grain bullet of most of the weapons used.

    When you spend more time on TTAG than all other sites combined.

    • Guilty of the movie one. Have a buddy that won’t watch movies with me anymore because I always subconsciously do it aloud. Lol

  15. …if you have to wash your hands 7 times a day to prevent lead poisoning.

    …if you name your dog “FN”.

    …if you have a walk-in closet devoted to gun boxes, holsters, cases, gun rugs, mag holders and slings.

    …if you have a different range bag for every day of the week.

    …if your local gun store calls you every time their sales are a bit slow.

    …if you’re “the guy” that everyone at the range calls when they have a gun question.

    • Make that LEGITIMATELY have to wash your hands 7 times a day. Otherwise you’re just paranoid and/or have OCD.

  16. Just happened to me on the way home. Saw a bumper sticker that appeared to be the standard spoked-circle emblem of the empire from Star Wars. Upon second inspection, recognized it as a cross section of Eugene Stoner’s bolt.

  17. You have more than four loading presses, and the size of your firearms collection database made you install extra computer memory.

  18. You settle in Kentucky after retiring from the Army just for the firearms freedom and to live within the triangle of Buds Gun Shop, KyGunCo, and Knob Creek.

    • That triangle was a great place to live but southern Indiana isn’t worse by much.

      I’ve also bought a gun in a new caliber because I could buy cases of mil. surp. ammo CHEAP. I owned ammo before I had my TT-33 or CZ-52.

  19. You can estimate fps to within 5% based on caliber and barrel-length. Extra points for factoring in bullet grain.

    • You can calculate muzzle energy in your head.

      Lessee, 158 grains at 1250fps. That 1250 x 1250 = 1,562,500 x 158 = 246,875,000 / 450,400 = 548.1lbs/ft of energy.

      Yea, it’s bad enough when you can do it with a calculator.

    • You can calculate power factor in your head. Hmmm, 180 grain bullet, 920 fps, whoa, barely made it. Yep you are a gun nut if you know what I meant there.

  20. All the above. *SIGH* I guess I’m too old to get a life now. Oh well, guess i’m just stuck with being a gun nut.

  21. You feel the need to give people a class on ballistics every time they try to say an AK-47 is accurate…

  22. …If you can’t help but take a picture when the number of your hotel room, electronic restaurant coaster (for when your table is ready), or anything else is a caliber.

  23. ….if you can convince your wife to name your twin daughters “Smith” and “Wesson”.

    …if you scour your neighbor’s garbage for things you can use to make silhouettes.

    • I actually have an extra roll away trash bin in the garage full of cardboard. My wife says “are you going to take that can to the street?” I say “No I am saving it for something”.

  24. If when your wife asks you to pass her hair clip over you tell her she should really refer to it as a hair magazine.

    • And then she goes to the safe, rips the mosin out of the back of it, and proceeds to use it as it was intended: to club you over the head with it.

  25. When you equate the price of everything you buy to guns…..$1,500 for that furniture, damn thats 3 glocks…..

        • I’m still looking. Hunting public lands in CA has it’s drawbacks. I have hopes that now that the rains are here maybe the pigs will move back onto public land and we won’t have to pay 6 bills to shoot a pig doing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the farmers property.

  26. You can recite the Article the Fourth / 2nd Amendment by heart, including punctuation
    You laugh at what the NYC police call an “arsenal”
    You think your gun safe is too small
    “BC” doesn’t refer to a time period
    You suck at math, but you can convert between standard and metric with ease
    You look at yourself in the mirror each morning, but not to see if you’re fat
    You convince your significant other to setup a trust
    You know who said the following:
    “The shoulder thingy that goes up”
    “You don’t need an AR-15 to defend yourself”
    “Life is good”
    “I am a grown-ass man”
    “Hey Sharp Shots”
    You read TTAG at least five times a day

  27. When you get pulled over and the officer asks for for regestration, you open the glove box, assorted ammo falls out and the officer nervously asks if the is a firearm in the truck and you answer, I’m not sure

    • LOL

      Been there, done that, except once it was a holster.

      We spent ten minutes talking guns and he forgot why he pulled me over. 🙂

  28. You watch gun movies more for technical and historical accuracy than for the story.

    You buy DVDs solely on the firearms on the front cover. Bonus points if they are anime.

    And is on your frequently viewed sites.

  29. I refer to my lefty Beretta 692 O/U Sporting as “My wife’s Sub-Zero refrigerator”…does that count?

  30. If you have a large tackle box containing all the springs and pins you could ever need for your firearms. Parts could be hard to find after the zombie apocalypse.
    If the first thing you want to know about a politician running for office is what is their NRA grade.

  31. ….. you insist on visiting TTAG multiple times a day even though it is THE slowest website online thanks to the shitloads of ads and scripts.

  32. You can outfit a rifle squad with primary and secondary weapons and a full basic load of ammo without having to crack open the second safe (that’s for the heavy weapons section).

    Your walk in closet would make your old drill sergeant weep with joy.

  33. You have your 350 Chevy bored out to 357.

    Your significant other has ever stopped watching tv or movies with you because of your need to identify every weapon featured in them.

    My wife almost quit watching The Walking Dead with me because I’m always criticizing the characters for using their guns as clubs when they run out of ammo.

  34. My old license plate had 228 as part of the number. It was easy to remember because the first thing I thought of when I got the plate was a SIG p228.

  35. You use a lose .22lr round when you can’t find a pencil.
    My wife did her homework that way when she was a kid because .22lr was more easily found in her house than pencils.

  36. You buy a gun, only to find out that you already owned it and sold it two years before (and cant remember why).
    You buy a gun to fit a nice holster you found at a great deal
    Ditto on buying one to go with a set of “bargain” grips
    After your 1st divorce, its hard to go to a gun show for a couple years,
    because every table has at least one of the guns you used to own.
    You have never seen a episode of “Walking Dead” because you saw the 1st 10 mins of the pilot and turned the channel when at the roadblock scene, they “made sure their Glock safeties were off”

  37. If you recently learned to run a chainsaw and spent two months on a professional saw crew, and it took you a month to NOT be a bit freaked out that you can’t really have your finger off the trigger while not revving.

  38. You might be a gun nut if…

    …you’re on a date with a girl, she asks if you have protection, and you reply, “Yes. Which caliber?”
    …when shopping at Best Buy, you absent-mindedly ask the floor salesman which appliances come with manual safeties.
    …when someone asks how many guns you own, you break out a calculator and call your tracking agent for an inventory update.
    …the UPS guy knows you on a first-name basis and knows, based on which online gun parts supply stores have packages for you, when to bring extra help to off-load your shipment this week.
    …when you buy ammo, you don’t go to Walmart, you award a supplier a contract.
    …you wear a little plastic bracelet on your arm that says, “What Would John Moses Browning Do?”
    …you actually do own a couple of High Point pistols. They’re tied to long ropes and attached to the bow of your fishing boat down on the dock.

  39. I have an entire sequence from the research through financing and cleaning and the shooting and storing, on how to hide new gun purchases from the wife. I mean, I have it written down somewhere.

  40. You might be a gun nut if you find yourself practicing exceptional trigger discipline even when using a spray bottle.

    • I catch myself doing that too. Not just with spray bottles, though. I’ve done it when using my drill too.

  41. Let’s see.
    1. You and your wife consider a nice quiet evening at home to be sitting in front of the TV hand priming. Yep, you guessed it – we wear eye and ear protection and turn the TV up loud. It hasn’t happened yet (while hand priming) but I’ve popped a few on the press.
    2. You buy another of the same shotgun because you re-purposed the first one and you have a nice forend with a streamlight on it just sitting there needing a shotgun.

  42. Your enemies call you a gun nut, your friends step in and deny that you are a gun nut because you are alternatively an ammosexual, at which point you have to cut them short and set them straight that you are actually, instead merely a gundamentalist.

    You by a gun because you inherited some ammo in that caliber.

  43. … You compulsively clean up and take home left over brass at the range, even for calibers you’ve never owned.

    Guilty of this myself. I just can’t leave em. Some schmuck left about 300 pieces of 357 sig around and I just couldn’t leave them there. Half were nickel too. Honestly I wish it happened more often.

    • When you not only collect brass in caliber in which you don’t own any guns, but also reload it.
      I have couple thousands of .45 rounds and no .45 gun….yet.

    • Be careful, while wearing his third ring, that is what Tom Brady responded when asked which Super Bowl win was his favorite.

  44. …You’ve watched Star Wars episodes 4-6 (the old ones) and thought about Bill Ruger every time you saw the Rebel Alliance Logo.

  45. When you have a major screw up you refer to it as a “just shoot me now” moment. When you decide to quit a really awful job, you tell your husband “time to put a bullet in it” When you give ammo and 5Star speed loaders and put them a gun rug, instead of wrapping paper for Christmas gifts to family. Sold or gave away a pistol or revolver cause you wanted to cut down on the calibers you had, then missed them so had to buy replacements for the exact same guns, then you are a gun nut

  46. When you heard about the guy arrested near the White House with 800 rounds of ammo in his truck, you thought “he’s almost out of ammo.”

  47. You may be a gun nut, if you read/hear a DGU story and get your undies in a twist because, there is no mention of gun type or caliber.

  48. You may be a gun nut if…

    …your coworkers have heard more about your gun collection than they have about your kids.

    …you keep track of how many shots the hero has fired in a movie, so you can point out the exact moment his magazine SHOULD HAVE run out.

    …after a DGU, the first thing you tell the police is what was wrong with the bad guy’s stance and grip.

    …a kid chews a Pop Tart gun and you react with shock because its grip is at an incorrect angle.

    …you can tell when the audio of a gunshot isn’t from the same type of gun as the visual being fired. (e.g. a 1911 is fired, but the gunshot sound is CLEARLY that of a Desert Eagle)

  49. The first few times you leave the house with a defensive gun in the car and you pray that you get pulled just so that you can try out your perfectly practiced “Officer, I just wanted to let you know I am carrying a gun today…” spiel for the first time.

  50. – use your brass tumbler for cleaning motorcycle and bicycle parts
    – use your .22 cleaning rod for getting the mold out of your camel bak tube
    – use your powder scale for weighing mail, motorcycle and bicycle parts
    – use full ammo cans for doorstops
    – have used a shotgun bore brush to clean your BBQ grill
    – buy shooting gloves 3 pair at a time
    – have Slime brand inner tubes on your range cart

  51. …If you have bough ammo because it was a good deal even though you don’t own guns in that caliber, just because you probably will some day.

  52. 1. If you buy a second copy of a gun you like, just in case something happens to the first one and they aren’t making it anymore, OR

    2. You buy a second copy of a gun you like, because you forgot you already had one.

  53. When you buy ammunition for a gun you don’t have yet, and the gun magically appears less than a year later.

    You buy bullets and dies before you have a reloading press, because it was a really good deal.

    Reloading manuals are lunch-time reading at work.

    Christmas lists are fulfilled at Natchez, Brownells and Top Gun.

    Your favorite gun shop calls you when guns you have barely wished for come in-and you live three hours away.

    Family Thanksgiving prep consists of making sure no guns are left behind.

    You have more full ammo cans than cases of beer in the fridge.

    Buying guns in obscure calibers delights you because you can correctly explain-ad nauseum-the history and purpose of those cartridges to anyone and everyone.

  54. That look on the repairman’s face when he pulls a handful of 22 shells out of the washing machine pump. His reaction when you scold your 6 year old for leaving them in his pocket. Bonus points when he blames his little sister.

    • More bonus points when his little sister pistol-whips him with a Ruger Blackhawk. The repairman is probably racing out to his van by then and will miss some of this…

  55. You classify girls by means of calibers. Got a date with a nice Lapua Magnum this Saturday, wish me luck TTAG !

    • Does that mean she will go all the way?
      I married a 9mm. Just the right size. Elected Most Popular in high school and Homecoming Queen.
      In college, I dated a .40S&W. She was short and snappy.
      And I admit it. I have been with a .45acp. She was fat and slow and after just one shot, I was done.

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