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And no, that’s not a John Holmes flick from 1973. There seems to be something enraging rodents in the former commie bloc. The displeased little dammer caught on video above happens to be Russki. And while it’s hard to tell, we’ll assume the cameraman made it out alive. Long enough to upload the file, at least. Not so fortunate, however, was a Belarussian boychik who fancied a happy snap of a bitter little Bucky he happened upon. From “The man spotted the beaver while fishing with friends at Lake Shestakov, but as he approached to take a photograph, the beaver bit him on the thigh. The animal managed to sever an artery, and his friends couldn’t stop the blood flow.” We’re thinking an old school 686 would have taken care of business nicely. Then again, there are those who might want to keep things within the eastern European sphere of influence and go with something like an XDm .45. You?

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  1. Gun? A baseball bat would do nicely for our red rodent pal.

    Oh. No baseball in Russia? A five-foot length of pipe will do the trick.

  2. Ward, I think it’s time you had a talk with the Beaver…

    No no, wait, I got it: In Soviet Russia, Beaver leaves it to YOU!

  3. Holy crap, a beaver killed somebody!?!?!?

    …and not via Beaver Fever either! Which, btw, is a real thing! (giardia)

  4. My state game regulations specifically state, “it is illegal to take furbearers (beavers) with the use or aid of a machine gun, set gun or a shotgun larger than 10 gauge.” That really limits your options.

    • That’s my take – with hollow-point ammo. A man-stopper’ll stop an overgrown hamster.

      Poor kid; it’s hard to imagine a tourniquet failing to work – unless his friends failed to try one.

  5. The pelts are worth something even today.

    .359 148gr. DEWC ahead of 3 grains of bullseye to the head is what I have used.
    Shots are usually within 10 feet.

  6. By the by, Belarus is former Russkie. They are their own nation now. Probably the least free and democratic of all the former Soviet lands, but not part of Putin’s Playhouse.

    But apparently have kids just as stupid as other nations when it comes to messing with Sasquatch, then being surprised when the animals attack, unlike in Disney movies.

    Edit: Beaver photographer not so lucky according to API…

  7. Gun? Screw that shit. How about don’t mess with wild critters that are just minding their business.

  8. Here’s a tip for the stupids out there in the woods: These are wild animals, so KEEP YOUR DAMN DISTANCE. If you don’t get all up in his space, he won’t try to sink his teeth into you.

    Okay, now that’s out of my system…

    If you really have to shoot something beaver-sized, don’t worry about the size of your gun. Just make sure the beaver enjoys the experience, and you’ll be fine. (I will not make beaver jokes…I will not make beaver jokes…I will not…eh, what’s the use.)

  9. I’ve had considerable experience handling beavers – both in the Northeast and while guiding up in Alaska. Like most wild animals, they can be nasty. I once had one swimming tight circles around me while I was stood in deep water removing an outboard from a boat in a wilderness. My .500 was at the ready but woundn’t have been of much use it it struck from below the surface.

  10. I’ve handled a beaver or two in my time but it’s been many moons since I seen a beaver that “furry”. Though, I think this video cries out for Federal beaver controls.

  11. Woah, with that bad boy-anything one has handy. Shoot n run. I have had my run ins with opossums and believe it or not a squirrel. in all cases-shoot n run. For all who would say otherwise, I was amazed how well the squirrel handled the .22s and still kept attacking. Shoot n run…………Incidentally in all cases the attacks have been unprovoked-just wrong place, wrong time

  12. Beavers are known to attack and they aren’t small cuddly creatures either with adult beavers weighing around 50 lbs.

  13. Here in Oregon, the Beaver state, we respect beavers and would never think of hurting one! Their sweet and majestic creatures that only want to be gently petted and to get wet. It’s usually customarily to buy them a few drinks before you try and handle one, which is the main mistake this guy made…

    • The ones here in rural TN are fearsome swamp beasts.

      Takes a real man to get too close to one.

  14. How much of an azzhole do you have to be to provoke a fatal rodent attack? If this nimrod would have had a gun he’d probably shot himself in the junk in his panic to “defend” himself from this fierce creature. Some people only have 1 purpose in life. To serve as lessons to the rest of us.

  15. He should have just stayed out of the Fire Swamp entirely. Didn’t anyone tell him it was teeming with R.O.U.S’s?

  16. I shot a beaver once the weighed over 40lbs! When I was a kid we had a real issues with beavers making a mess of our woods. We didn’t mind them chopping down popular and birch, but then they started working on the maples and oak. My Dad said to clean them out. The problem was at first they were pretty dumb but then got really wary. I finally took to hunting them at night in a full moon with my 10/22. The nice thing about hunting them at night was they were always chomping on a tree or some limbs so I had time to line up and get a nice head shot.

  17. (Since y’all beat me to all the good beaver jokes…) I can’t imagine any modern caliber NOT being sufficient for beaver. If you want the pelt salvageable, I’d use 22lr or 22mag, but if you just want them dead, any rifle round will certainly do.

  18. In Russia, beaver eat you!

    Then there’s this: The most Amazing Beaver Experience this guy has ever had. Must not get out much.

    Oops can’t post Youtube vids. Just Google “most amazing beaver experience.”

  19. I shoot lots of beavers. Within its range, a shotgun with lead BB or #4 Buckshot is perfect.

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