Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win a 5.11 Single Pistol Case

George Steele was last week’s winner. This week’s inspired snarkmeister will win a 5.11 Single Pistol Case to get his or her favorite gat to and from the range. Enter your best effort in the comments by Sunday midnight to be eligible.


  1. avatar former water walker says:

    Wanna’ see my gun little Timmy?

  2. avatar AaronW says:

    “If anyone comes in here and tries to straighten out those books… kill them.”

  3. avatar Sam says:

    “I told your mom I was investing in the metals market”

  4. avatar Vhyrus says:

    Look here. This is where I filed off the serial number after I killed your whore of a mother. Now, let’s go down to the lake together.

  5. avatar Thomas B says:

    No, son – this is a _real_ pistol you can tell because it has a manual safety.

  6. avatar C. Bagwell says:

    “If anyone ever tries to take this away just point and pull”

  7. avatar No one of consequence says:

    So, Billy, let’s review … How many of the Colonel’s rules am I breaking right now?

  8. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    Well gee uncle Billy….when I said I wanted Eddie Haskell to shut up… I didn’t mean permanently.

  9. avatar Mike Oregon says:

    Son, this was my service pistol. By the time you’re my age this will be much more, like a surrogate penis, symbol of misogyny, white privilege and other bullshit . But for now it’s simply a 1911a1 / .45 acp.

  10. avatar AaronW says:

    “This is a revolver. As timeless as the white pocket square.”

  11. avatar JDH says:

    No Beaver, you can’t shoot Eddie Haskel.

  12. avatar BLAMMO says:

    “Someday, these things will have a Hillary Hole. Believe me, you won’t want one of those.”

  13. avatar Bill F says:

    Beaver, I took this off a guy on Iwo who didn’t need it anymore.

  14. “Billy, this is called a GAT. It’s a worthless pellet gun. But some poor soul in England uses it as his carry piece. He’s what we call a ‘limey fruit'”.

    1. avatar Chadwick says:

      Zing! Too bad I don’t even think they can carry pellet guns. They probably have laws against carrying pictures of guns in the uss-uk.

  15. About to be “My TWO Sons”.

  16. avatar Ironhead says:

    Someday son this will be yours. Keep ot secret and safe…. you never know when the grabbers will win.

  17. “It’s all for you, Damien!”

  18. A young agent Michael Scarn

  19. “And THIS is the gun Jack Napier used to ice your parents behind a movie theater. Neat, huh?”

  20. avatar Bill M says:

    That’s really cool, son. Can you get me one just like it?

  21. avatar Mr.Savage says:

    tell you what kid, if you can shoot the rope your daddy lives…. thats close enough….

  22. “Registered?! Oh you, uh, mean the, uh, gun, Billy. Right, Yeah totally, Gun’s registered. FWEW!”

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      OK. That was funny.

      1. Thanks! Tip your watress.

  23. avatar Ethan says:

    “This is what makes liberals piss their pants.”

  24. avatar Steve H. says:

    No Beaver, It won’t “go off” by looking at it.

  25. avatar CLarson says:

    See this object, Timmy, carrying it causes people thousands of miles away to foam at the mouth.

  26. avatar Cabron says:

    You can have my pistol. Anything for a little beaver….

  27. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    Mom and dad said never take candy from strangers, but they never said anything about guns…..

  28. avatar BC says:

    Son, you and I are both tired of your mother’s ankle-biter…have you ever read Old Yeller?

  29. avatar BC says:

    Joey, do you like gladiator movies? I’ll stand behind you and help you hold this as you shoot it.

  30. avatar BIG Lars says:

    Son, this here ain’t to be trifled with. It’s an armor-piercing anti-tank handgun. Otherwise known as a 10mm…

  31. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Gee Dad, I don’t know, it’s cool and all, but I think I prefer a double stack, something that’ll hold more than 7 rounds.”

    1. avatar Ranger Rick says:

      Beaver, with these here 45 soul killers you won’t need a double stack.

  32. avatar Craig Moore says:

    Beaver, I know you’re thinking about Eddie Haskell right now, but try to get that thought out of your head.

  33. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I don’t know Dad, the guys on TTAG say HK hates us.”

  34. avatar John in OR says:

    Here Billy, this will help you compensate for that small penis.

  35. avatar Sam says:

    That’s right Beaver, we’re gonna go shoot it tomorrow! Now tell me, what’s the first rule of gun safety?

  36. avatar jetsman says:

    Home Invasion: “Not in our house”.

  37. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Billy, have you ever been in a cockpit?”

  38. avatar almostesq says:

    Son, in 50 years liberals will call this child abuse.

  39. avatar Navillus says:

    Dad- “Beaver, this is my new pistol, what do you think? Isn’t she a beaut?”
    The Beaver- “Gee, Dad, it’s pretty swell I guess. But I was expecting a Flat Dark Earth Sig P226 Mk 25 with an RMR sight & a TLR-1 light. Uh, Dad, do you even operate?”

  40. avatar The Rookie says:

    “Remember, Bobby: leave the gun, but take the cannoli.”

    1. avatar Ranger Rick says:

      Bobby, j”ust let your hand slip to your sides, let the gun slip out, everybody will think you still got it.”

  41. avatar Chadwick says:

    See here Beaver, this is how you got your name. Dad hates getting bit by the hammer!

  42. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Geez Dad, that old school look is neat and all, but why does it rattle so much?”

  43. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I guess it’s kinda swell, but Lumpy’s dad showed us the machine gun he killed commies with in Korea. Have you got one of those Dad?”

  44. avatar Carl Strode says:

    Theodore, with a gun like this, you can even take down an animal the size of Lumpy Rutherford.

  45. avatar Chadwick says:

    That’s right Beav, 45 kills their soul too.

  46. avatar anonymoose says:

    I used to shoot beavers with this when I was your age!

  47. avatar Gregolas says:

    “Son, this is your very own Gat. Take good care of it and someday it will have gittens.”

  48. avatar Andrew Lias says:

    “That’s a real swell pistol Mr. Wilson.”

  49. avatar Danny says:

    No, I wanted an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

  50. avatar Case says:

    “Now, don’t let me catch you with a 9mm again, this is a .45 household”

  51. avatar Brian of Ohio says:

    And no gangster costume would be complete without a S&W revolver! Do you have a holster, Billy?

  52. avatar Kahlil says:

    The way your dad looked at it, this gun was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this gun up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the gun. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the gun to you.

  53. avatar MitchB says:

    Just remember , son, keep your booger hook off the bang switch until your front sight is on your target.

  54. avatar PeterK says:

    When you need to bust a cap, you put your booger hook on the bang switch here and carefully squeeze, not pull, the trigger.

    1. avatar PeterK says:

      Ah, delete fail. I posted this and saw that I posted right below a similar comment. :p

  55. avatar PeterK says:

    Repeat after me:

    The gun is always loaded.
    Keep the gun in a safe direction.
    Finger off until ready to shoot.

    Great! Now let’s go drill that rat who insulted your mother.

  56. avatar Seth B says:

    Gee dad, that’s a neato .45, but Mr. Rutherford was in the war, and he says, the P35 Hi Power, holds 5 more bullets, it has no grip safety, and he can disconnect that annoying magazine safety with a little bitty nail, but I guess it will work just as good on Eddie Haskell. So, cause I am under the age of 12 the state won’t find me criminally sponsible? What’s criminally sponsible mean? I don’t gots to go to jail? So if you shoot Eddie you go to jail but if I do it’s okay? Oh good!!! I was worried there for a minute, but it’s gonna be okay. Show me those safeties one more time.

  57. avatar Jay says:

    Son, this is a fine carry pistol. Where can I get one?

  58. avatar jwm says:

    Having trouble collecting on your paper route? Ever here the old saying “you get further with a smile and a gun than just with a smile” ?

    Take this and for the next 3 months I get 10% of what you collect.

  59. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Hey Dad. Why does Mom keep saying ‘Ward, you were a little hard on the beaver last night’? I wasn’t here, I stayed over at Lumpy’s house.”

  60. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “and here’s the official ‘spaceman spiff’ insignia.”

  61. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “go put on some swim trunks and see if you can shoot down that paper wasp nest out front.”

  62. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “she’s a real tack driver! wanna hang some pictures?”

  63. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “for wally’s comment, ‘you look more like a gopher with bangs’ i’d suggest something like this.”

  64. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “…and they never made me eat brussels sprouts again.”

  65. avatar Hank says:

    Thanks Billy, that was the best Father’s Day gift any dad could get.

  66. avatar Jerry Tops says:

    “You see this, blued steel and wood. Don’t ever let the guy behind the counter sell you something made of plastic. Plastic isn’t PERFECTION.”

  67. avatar UnPC Aussie says:

    Well son since you asked you may as well forget prayers, this is the only proven tool to stop evil.

  68. avatar Chazbo says:

    Your ratings are going down steadily Beav, but this will pretty much assure Dennis will no more be a menace.

  69. avatar johnnyutah says:

    “…and this is where freedom from oppression comes from.”

  70. avatar Steve Day says:

    [The Liberal Twilight Zone]

    What the hell did you do with your Pop-Tart little Tommy?
    You realize I’m going to have to tell child services about this … They’ll probably put you into the care of a sexual-abuser and your parents will get the death-penalty … but, the law’s the law see!

  71. avatar MicS says:

    “And this is where the shoulder thing that goes up attaches”

  72. avatar Michigunner says:

    “Gee dad, that’s swell !!! where does it plug into the TV?”


    “Come on son, we’ve got a lot to talk about. And take off that suit your mother put on you, they’ll laugh at you at the range.”

  73. avatar Old Region Fan says:

    Back when we lived in a free country, we could own things like these ! FLAME DELETED

  74. avatar Carl H says:

    Don’t get attached. I don’t intend to leave it to Beaver.

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