Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win Swab-Its Bore-Whips

Last week’s winner was Srirachapocalypse. This week’s grand prize is a package of Swab-Its .22/5.56 Bore-Whips to keep your long gun spic and span clean. Just enter your best caption for this photo in the comments by Sunday at midnight. Good luck.




  1. avatar tmm says:

    Mini-me, meet mini-gun.

  2. avatar Joe R. says:

    How old are you kid?


  3. avatar FedUp says:

    Son, this is how Jane Fonda shoots down Capitalist Pigs

  4. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    “Anyone who runs is a V.C.! Anyone who stands still… is a well-disciplined V.C.!”

  5. avatar Nigel the expat says:

    Dad: “Rule 4: Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.”

    Way, way, way beyond it.

  6. avatar skiff says:

    Now I have two moms! Ma and ma deuce!

  7. avatar John I. says:

    This one is mine, you get your own.

  8. avatar Vhyrus says:

    They set the requirements for basic training lower every year…

  9. avatar jwm says:

    2a does not specify an age limit to gun ownership. He had to hire the marine to drive the vehicle as the constitution says nothing about driving.

  10. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    This is for all those those yucky lunches, Michelle!

  11. avatar Art out West says:

    This is what “shall not be infringed” means.

  12. avatar jwm says:

    Little billy realized his dream of being the hall monitor at his grade school.

  13. avatar John says:

    Man… hold my milk and watch this s**t

  14. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “school’s out.”

  15. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “i’m not sure why they call it a ‘giggle switch.’ when i pull the trigger, start tickling…”

  16. avatar pieslapper says:

    While Billy liked the M2, he’d had his heart set on a MK-19 grenade launcher.

  17. avatar Jeffro says:

    See that guy? Yeah that guy right there! Fuck Him!!

  18. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    “I don’t know what T&A is, but I’m digging this T&E mount”.

  19. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “that’s the principal’s new yacht. i promise it won’t sink. i’ll let you drive the go- kart for half an hour.”

  20. avatar GaPharmd says:

    ” I always love spending time with Ma and Pa!!!”

  21. “Now Billy, did you remember to set your headspace first?”

  22. A young Carlos Hathcock.

  23. avatar Bostonirish14 says:

    “And in that moment johnny smiled for he had finally found his safe space”

  24. Shannon Watts is gonna shit if she sees you, kid.

  25. avatar The Rookie says:

    The day Margaret finally pushed Dennis the Menace too far…

  26. “Big Bird ain’t got shit on me!”

    1. avatar TStew says:

      Dude, no fair…well done, but you won last week! ?

  27. avatar jwm says:

    Marine. Do you even speak it, motherphucker.

  28. avatar jwm says:

    Operator as fuck.

  29. avatar jwm says:

    Enough of this kid stuff. Where’s the Bushmaster?

  30. avatar theboi says:

    Its never to earlier to kill terrorist.

  31. avatar Ryan Keliipuleole says:

    Swiper no swiping

    1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      I don’t know why, but that got a big laugh out of me!

  32. avatar AlanInFL says:

    There is nothing wrong using the .50BMG to unleash the man out of a child.

  33. avatar Ironhead says:

    You see son, its ok to see a red mist…. thats what happens when a terrorist dies!

  34. avatar ConcernedCitizen says:

    “I know why it’s called that, Dad, ’cause I drop ma deuce every time I shoot this thing.”

  35. avatar TStew says:

    …and that day, Little Billy smiled a smile normally reserved for when the amply endowed Janet Johnson was his Friday night babysitter.

  36. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Mr. Zimmerman,

    I won the photo caption contest a few weeks back with my Formosa Five-O comment and you never sent Swab its to me … even though I did respond to your e-mail request for my address. Did I fall off of your radar?

  37. avatar Gregolas says:

    Harry Potter, meet MY magic wand !

  38. avatar Manse Jolly says:

    “ammo…AMMO!” young Billy yelled.

  39. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “how many bazooka joe comics did you have to save up?”

  40. avatar JDH says:

    Wait until my Kindergarten teacher sees this for Show & Tell!

  41. avatar almostesq says:

    I don’t need no stinking Red Ryder!

  42. avatar Rick the Bear says:

    Take a full breath, then let half of it out.

  43. avatar Dave Harries says:

    God bless America….

  44. avatar NorincoJay says:

    Is that Comey?

  45. avatar Geoff PR says:

    “Children make ideal operators of crew-served weapons on a pivot, their nimble fingers make short work of reloading and clearing jams…”

    1. avatar AaronW says:

      I remember this passage from elsewhere! Sounds rather Dickensian, doesn’t it?

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        I shamelessly stole it from a cartoon I saw somewhere on the internet.

        But it sure applies!


    2. avatar Ardent says:

      Finally my vindication: As I’ve been saying, children make terrible individual riflemen. Their short stature, low upper body strength, limited mobility and load bearing really just make them unusable as light irregular infantry. However, children excel as crewmembers on light weapons. A screw adjust or T&E mechanism negates the strength issue, and thoughtful emplacement ensures most of the rest. Besides, adaptive measures such as constructing a ramp to allow smaller children to charge mortar tubes, or a tarp to drag ammo belts on are much more workable on crew served weapons than on small arms.

      So remember: Small ‘arms’ equals an assignment to a light weapon…

  46. avatar Model66 says:

    Think of the Children!!!!

  47. avatar Shawn says:

    Next we learn about hearing protection

  48. avatar Bill Andrews says:

    See that squirrel? Lead him Lead him FIRE! Wait! Where’d he go?

  49. avatar AaronW says:

    “Please, sir, I want some more!”

  50. avatar jwm says:

    Now this is the way to mow the lawn.

  51. avatar Nine says:

    “Try taking my lunch money now bitch!”

  52. avatar Jjt says:

    “See dad, I told you that you had the headspace all jacked up! How many times have I told you, headspace and timing first!”

  53. avatar MattG says:

    Son I think I here Ma calling your name.

  54. avatar Peashooter says:

    Dad, was Mr. Nugent serious when he said to take out any prius with a Hillary sticker on it?

  55. avatar Oliver says:

    It’s ok kid. She ain’t president or even a future candidate. Using her image is good to go as far as the secret service is concerned. Hell, they gave us a stack of signed 8 by 10 glossies to use as targets.

  56. avatar rt66paul says:

    OK, we will get you suited up in a national guard uniform, you get a holiday with them while I get to go to Vegas for Bob’s bachelor party. Just remember that there is no Jr. after your name and if you want that bike, no mention of this to mom.

  57. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Dad, what does overcompensating mean?”

  58. avatar Jeff K says:

    So this is what Freedom looks like, and it sure is good.

  59. avatar CLICCO says:

    These new recruits sure make me feel old…

  60. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Extra points Billy if you blow the hooker out of her shoes.”

    1. avatar jwm says:

      “Ain’t she supposed to blow me out of my shoes?”

  61. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I love the smell of powder in the morning, it smells like… freedom. “

  62. avatar ComfortablyNumb says:

    Billy’s dad always drew the biggest crowd on career day.

  63. avatar Jason says:

    Ma said it’s time for dinner… eat HOT LEAD!

  64. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Ha! Now I finally get to show off all my wicked Call of Duty skills…”

  65. avatar Jim S. says:

    We’re gonna need another Timmy!

  66. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “NO… mine’s bigger!!!”

  67. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “this is gonna be the best “it’s a small world” ride ever!”

  68. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “what are the odds of finding this outside of the national clown convention/ juggalo jamboree?”

  69. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Because 9mm is for girls….”

  70. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “This is going to be a bitch to clean when we’re done. I wonder if they make Swab-Its for this….”

  71. avatar Erik says:

    This is the photo of Michael Dukakis that didn’t get published

  72. avatar LazyReader says:

    Fisher-Price I see has expanded to new toys

  73. avatar Michael says:

    Since you won’t let me drive, ….

  74. avatar Michael says:

    How many deer tags did you say we had?

  75. avatar IdahoPete says:

    This is a Ma Deuce .50 BMG, the finest heavy machine gun in the world, invented by John Moses (By God) Browning. Now, I can’t remember if if racked the bolt twice when I loaded it, but you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky, punk?

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