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“Warren [MI] Mayor Jim Fouts wants to see the fires from flamethrowers put out in his city for good,” reports. “This is something that is so potentially dangerous that it’s just unacceptable,” Jimbo proclaims. As opposed to something that’s actually dangerous like, I dunno, heart disease? Cancer? Chronic lower respiratory diseases? In fact, we know the leading causes of death in Michigan (those are the top three). Oddly enough, flamethrowers don’t make the Mitten State’s mortality toll top 10. Or twenty. Or one hundred. OK, NO ONE HAS EVER DIED FROM A FLAMETHROWER IN MICHIGAN, either by accident of foul play. So is Fouts one of those “anti-everything” guys? Nope! You’ll be glad to hear that he’s “not opposed to the right to bear arms.” But . . .

he’s against people being able to buy flamethrowers online without anything to prohibit the sale to minors or those with criminal records.

Developer Chris Byars says, “We assume they are of legal age and we expect they use basic common sense.”

You can buy these flamethrowers for about a $1,000 with no questions asked and no criminal background checks.

“I’m fan of personal responsibility,” says Byars. “If they’re used safe and on private property, I don’t see a problem with that.”

Warren city council discussed the proposed ordinance this week, but there’s no date set on when the proposed ordinance could go up for a vote.

And the penalty would be . . .

[Fouts] is supporting a proposed ordinance that would ban the storage, possession and use of flamethrowers in Warren. Exceptions include law enforcement and armed forces.

Violations would be a misdemeanor with up to 90 days in jail, a $500 fine or both.

Banning things. That just burns me up. So to speak. [h/t DVH]

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  1. Warren is such a utopian place that this is the most pressing problem demanding attention from the local .gov?

    For the record. I think flamethrowers should be banned from theaters and gas stations.

    • Even if you only ban them from churches and hospital nurseries, it’s still a ban. As with all firearms, should you ever need one, (one of the more important reasons you would is that) you will likely need it to counteract / countermand someone who will also is demanding that you ask their permission to own one.

      “Poop to that.” – Marvin Boggs.

      I think people should use them only very carefully and judiciously in fireworks stands and near natural gas-line breaks, but other than that, pay your taxes, and take your chances.

    • Flamethrowers coming to a no-knock warrant service near you.

      Plus it’s fun to use them to burn pot crops. Nothing like wielding a flamethrower while stoned off your ass.

      • There is actually a part of the video game Far Cry 3 where you do just that! I had “insane in the membrane” playing in my head the whole time!

        • I actually felt the Skrillex song they used in game suited that mission. That whole mission was over the top and that reggae dub step song suited the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

          But seriously, other than the police reenacting Far Cry, what possible use could they ever have for a flamethrower? Or even the military, do they use flamethrowers anymore?

      • “Flamethrowers coming to a no-knock warrant service near you.”

        That would seem to be their concern. LevIII, LevIV, helmets, shields, nine to thirteen armed door-kickers in jack boots, all of that would become academic pretty quickly if it were on fire.

      • Let the stupid children get their own flamethrowers. That’s the trouble with our country. Kids expect everything to just be given to them.

        They work enough shifts in a coal mine and they’ll appreciate that flamethrower and take good care of it.

        • “They work enough shifts in a coal mine and they’ll appreciate that flamethrower and take good care of it.”

          You know it.

          And make ’em walk to that job in the mine.

          Ten miles. Uphill. Both ways…

          Damn un-grateful whipper-snappers…

        • Ohhhhh! Luxury! We would have killed for a ten-mile uphill walk. We had to pull ourselves along with our tongues, hanging from the bottom of a rock formation, inch by inch for forty miles just to use the latrine at our vaporized uranium mine, we did! And we loved it, because it was so much easier than going home to use the loo, it was!

    • I think the more interesting thing is that the fire department is NOT excluded. Since they actually do have a legitimate use for flamethrowers to set up fire lines and things of that nature, things might get interesting.

    • Why is the military exempt? The only time they should be using them in town would be during an invasion. And I’d like to think that they would get a pass for using one when Canada storms the border.

      • “And I’d like to think that they would get a pass for using one when Canada storms the border.”

        If Canada invades, at least we know it won’t be for our beer.

  2. First, why would law enforcement need a flame thrower? Second, is he going to ban gas cans and compressed air. Why would a kid spend $1000 for some collectible over the internet when he only needs a few hundred dollars and a ride to Home Depot and a gas station. Jeez, is our world insane or what.

  3. Why does this need an exception for law enforcement? Do Michigan police have a thing for incinerating suspects, or is Fouts just a big fan of Fahrenheit 451?

  4. Is it just me or does the mayor of Warren look like he just doesn’t like things that he himself probably can’t be trusted with.

  5. Exceptions include law enforcement and armed forces.

    Wait, what? What does Law Enforcement need with a flamethrower?

    • Hey, that other liberal puke a couple of weeks or so ago said since suppressors are “only good for murdering people without being heard” , only the police should be allowed to have them.
      I guess if they’re feeling saucy, they immolate you instead of giving you two behind the ear on the sly.

  6. Wait, so you’re telling me that people don’t use machine guns for fly control?

    Man I’ve been doing it wrong for years…

  7. I’m going with him being afraid of a hair spray catching fire incident, based on the high level of “frizz” he has going on his head.

  8. Imagine, meeting a mugger with a flame thrower, when all you have is your 9MM. Kinda hard trying to hit something through a big wall of flame.

    There was this heavyset comic, back in the 60’s, that was telling people, he got a police dog for protection, and then ran into a mugger with a rhinoceros!

  9. What isn’t “potentially” dangerous? This is how they get things banned. They plant a seed, promote how not to use something, thus exciting someone to do it. When someone does they exploit it as a I-told-you-so moment and take no accountability for promoting the idea in the first place. The Mayor is a bona fide idiot to bring attention to a product which up until now no one thinks about. Way to go a-hole, you get the sh!t wiszard asshat award.

  10. Setting aside Second Amendment, State Constitution, and state preemption considerations, the Warren City Council has to be extremely careful in their wording if they go ahead. Several years ago, I may have found it extremely utilitarian to pair an aerosol spray can (with some alchohol/petroluem base) and a Bic lighter in my quest to rid a location of certain insects. And there are handy attachments for propane tanks that people use to kill weeds along fences or melt ice on their driveway. Both of those applications are “flamethrowers”. Is the City Warren going to ban those applications — whether inadvertently or on purpose?

  11. I see these as an easy way for the elderly to clear their sidewalks or other pathways of snow during the winter. Thereby preventing heart attacks.
    Allow flame throwers. If it saves just one life….!

    • Older folks with weeds growing up through the cracks in their driveway-sidewalk need that as well.

      I bet it would be fun to use against fire ants…

      Show them ants what real fire is…

  12. It isn’t like someone could macgyver something like this up in 30-45 minutes with a trip to Home Depot. Give me a break and stop wasting our time.

  13. “The website says they can be used for clearing weeds and ice, I think that’s silly…”

    It’s true though, flamethrowers are an important tool for landscaping, fire prevention, pest control etc. It’s one of the reasons they have never had any restrictions put on them. Its a shame that firearms are not looked at the same way (they should). His proposal to ban them fits into the “city slickers move to ban manure as a fertilizer in their retirement country dream community” paradigm.

  14. There’s one way that would maybe limit the use of these things. Make it a mandatory sentence of 25 years, no parole, for anyone caught using one of these things on another person, or animal.
    2nd offense, life!

  15. A kid can’t bring a fartblaster on an Irish airplane, but a 12-year old Michigander with a mere $1000 bucks in his piggy bank can buy one of these?

    OMG! Pass the smelling salts!

  16. Funny I had no interest in a flamethrower (well no direct immediate interest) until this. Now I know where to get one, and how much fun they look. Thanks Mayor D-Bag, worlds best flamethrower salesman.

    Attitudes like this guys are dangerous…genocide is built from these kinds of blocks. Just lean a little more and you can start applying this to people who don’t fit your ideas or who you personally find distasteful.

    I love how he implies that people with criminal records shouldn’t have these neat toys, cause they might misuse them, but yet THEY ARE STILL WALKING AROUND. How is it that people don’t make this connection and freak out? The implements don’t make the murderer.

  17. the man is a satanist and a tyrant. he is a liar. he says he doesn’t want to ban arms, and then goes about trying to ban arms. When ever anyone claims some weapon should only be in the hands of law enforcement and military, that is establishing a draconic state, and if the people have no voice, a tyrannical state. A single man making that demand? A dictatorship.

    Why is it legal for this man to make public attacks on liberty but illegal to point out the simple fact that he should be executed for treason?

  18. While he is at it he should ban the sale and use of gasoline within city limits. Did you know people actually put that stuff in glass bottles, tie an oily rag to it and then light it and throw the bottle? That gasoline stuff is every bit as bad as that ammunition stuff!

    Sorry, stupid politicians tend to bring out the sarcasm in me, and since there are damned few non stupid politicians……

  19. Wait till they pull the stats on kids burned in fires multiply them by 1000 and call it flamethrower violence. “thousands of children are being burned alive in their home by unlocked or unsecured flamethrowers, how can we let this go on ” unrealistic utopian b.s all over again. Way more die from accidents than a flamethrower but genius over ain’t banning accidents.

  20. Am I the only one that made one as a kid from gasoline in a garden pump sprayer?

    Did it work? Yes. Stupid? Of course.

    Just wondering what’s the difference between a pump sprayer and a flame thrower? Or a propane torch fastened on the end of a broom stick?

  21. “Exceptions include law enforcement and armed forces.”

    Excuse me but what?

    does Warren SWAT have a pressing need to set fire to family pets or something? Shooting them not good enough?

    What possible legitimate use could law enforcement have for a flamethrower?

    Sick and tired of carveouts for our civic and moral betters. Especially when they’re this nonsensical. What’s good for us is good for our employees.


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