You’re probably too young to remember Playboy’s ad campaign “What sort of man reads Playboy?” Hell, you’re probably too young to remember Playboy. It was (is?) a magazine featuring heavily retouched pictures of naked women with written words that allowed pre-Internet males to claim “I read it for the articles.” An assertion so absurd that the phrase became what you young ‘uns call a “meme.” Flash forward to today, switch gears to GLOCK and a GLOCK owner says I carry a GLOCK because . . .
True! GLOCKs are reliable. And reliability is really important for a carry gun.
But let’s face it: all of GLOCKs direct competitors — Smith & Wesson’s M&P, Springfield’s XD, Walther’s PPQ, FN’s 509 and the rest — are equally reliable.
So what’s the real reason Gaston’s gat is all that for so many men? To answer that question, you have to address the question at the top of this post: what sort of man buys a GLOCK?
Answer: a “no-nonsense” guy.
A man who doesn’t have time to consider things like “ergonomics” or “aesthetics.” A man who wants a handgun that says imma gun, imma gun, imma imma imma gun. And that’s it.
A man who care less about trigger quality than America’s quest for curling gold.
A man who’s not bothered by his GLOCK’s ultimate accuracy. A polymer pistol’s for punching holes in perps, not paper. Which is something he doesn’t do very often. Target shoot, that is. But then who does?
A man who thinks black is slimming because he’s not the slimmest guy on planet Earth (although he wouldn’t kick Keira “Turn Sideways and She Disappears” Knightley out of bed for eating crackers, which are carbs, which she never eats).
A man who’s risk aversive in all things who understands ye olde adage “no one ever got fired for buying an IBM” on an instinctive level (i.e. without every having touched an IBM product).
Please understand that I have nothing against GLOCK owners. Some of my best friends know people who carry GLOCKs. And I used to pack a GLOCK 30SF. Ancient history, but true story. I guess I’m just that sort of man.