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Robert Farago shoulders a mop (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

You shoulder a mop. Your turn! You know you’re a gun nut when . . . [NOTE: it’s OK for The People of the Gun to use the term “gun nut” in the same sense that it’s OK for black African Americans to use the “n word” when playing the dozens. Whatever that means.]

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  1. When you have gunbroker or TTAG bookmarked on your browser.

    When you look at something and say “I kinda wanna put that on my rail.”

    When you correct magazine/clip.

    When you pick a bag based on what/how many guns/magazines/gear will fit in there.

  2. You presented a toilet plunger covered in AR accessories to a friend for their birthday.
    ”For when the S%&# REALLY hits the fan.”

  3. You save stuff, instead of throwing it away, because that would be fun to shoot!

    When your response to “I am a law abiding citizen, justify limiting my access to guns” is because dammit, ammo is expensive.

  4. When the left-wing media would describe your gun safe and the ammo stacked on top of it as a “chilling arsenal.”

    • Heh! So this. In fact, I’m going to use this as my standard when putting together my collection. Right now, I have two handguns, a Mossberg 590 and maybe 350 rounds of ammo. I don’t know if this will qualify as an arsenal yet. There is much work left to be done.

      • I think anything more than 1 gun counts as an “arsenal”..more than 4 is a “stockpile”…I think. It seems to vary.

      • So, I just started collecting a few months ago, and already have more than 2000 rounds (and a shipment of 2 spam cans of 7.62R coming). Admittedly, more than 2/3rds is .22 (bought a 1400 round bucket for $65 last week), even though I don’t actually have my .22 in-house yet, my father is bringing it up this weekend. Got 200 rounds of 9mm yesterday from Cheaper than Dirt. It isn’t that hard to pile it up fast, the sad thing is it shoots off almost as fast – fired 150 pistol rounds (was trying out rental guns, mix of 9 mm and .40) and 20 rifle rounds 2 weekends ago and will go again this weekend.

        6 months from now, I will probably have quite an arsenal, according to the progtards (thanks for inventing that word the other day!).

        • When you hundreds of rounds of ammo for guns you don’t even own yet. Ive got a bunch of 7.62X39 and .22 and I don’t even own anything for those.

      • You need a firearm or two chambered in .22 lr, so you can get your round count up. 10 bulk packs of Federal .22 = 5,250 rounds of ammunition = “large cache of ammunition”

    • When you see descriptions of “chilling arsenal” in a gun-fearing media and Laugh, LAUGH LAAAUUGGGHHH MUWAHAHAH at the meager amounts of ammo the n00b in question had.

    • When you hear a description in the media or a film of an “arsenal”, and you count how many of your gun safes contain more guns than that.

  5. If you’re shouldering a mop, as pictured, does that make you a gun nut or just a nut in general? 🙂


  6. What your wife thinks you are when you drive slowly by a gun shop, and actually think of dropping in, just to look!

  7. You watch a movie and can point out the make and model of every gun in the movie along with how many times in the movie they “cocked the Glock”

    • +1000. In addition to calling out every make and model you count the number of rounds being fired so you can call bullshit when a revolver cranks out 10 in a row.

      • The wife is constantly getting on at me for that. And how do you pump a double-barrelled shotgun? By having that shotgun pumped in HOLLYWOOD, baby!

        • When your friends won’t ask you to se the new “300” movie with them b/c they’re afraid you’ll lecture them on the caliber of the spears!

      • I remember watching The Walking Dead and I was just shaking my head as Hershel went through 25 shells through a pump shotgun before reloading.

        • I remember that too. The last episode of season 2. I was wondering if he was going run out and get bit.

        • When I like a movie or a series (like WD) I look for ways to make it believable. I tell myself that he reloaded between scenes. After all (I remind myself) we are only seeing a small part of his day. I didn’t see him reload, but I didn’t see him poop (thank goodness) pick his nose or scratch his balls either. I’m sure all of that happened.

          That said, if I’m watching a movie that I’m on the fence about, one major gun goof and I turn the channel.

    • That is awesome, I remember recently explaining to my wife how I hate in movies when the bad/good guy is constantly racking the slide on their pistol for effect, as if to say “now I’m really serious about shooting you!” So… what your saying is that you were either threatening me without a round in the chamber, or you did have one in the pipe but just enjoy jacking rounds out onto the ground for no reason. So stupid…

      • TV show Quantum Leap several years back. Avery time the shotgun was grabbed by someone else, it was racked. Total of 7 rounds wasted. Wait… how many rounds can a shotgun hold?

        Hearing the racking of a side-by-side or over-under causes me to twitch.

  8. when your children recite the 4 safety rules to their friends

    when you have meet ups with other self-described “gun nuts” and you don’t know each other’s government names

    when you know the gun laws of several states

    when you walk into a bldg. and determine whether the “no gun” sign has force of law or is of correct dimensions

    when Shannon Watts gives you street cred for posting her home, I mean corporate HQ address

    when gun reviews on youtube mention you by screen name

    when other commentors on a certain gun blog look for your specific postings for a good chuckle

    when you get invited to do a gun review

    when you have a significant holster collection in your closet to “dress around” your gun

    when you ask your wife if you are printing

  9. You know you are a legitimate gun nut, that when you were 4 you started making rubber band guns, at 5 manufactured your own pop gun, and went from there to bb guns, 4 -10s, .22s, .45s and kept going.

    Even though you believe and participated in building a large family, having many children and they had even more…you know you are a gun nut when you have more guns than them all and you have named a couple of older ones! (children AND guns!)

  10. 1: You use Hoppe’s #9 for cologne
    2. You have buckets of empty brass, but you don’t have a reloading press……yet.
    3. You can’t remember birthdays, anniversaries, phone numbers, or half of your in-laws names but you can describe all the world’s small arms, calibers, years of service, and relative effectiveness without hesitation or having to crack open a reference manual.
    4. A sexy, beautiful woman asks you “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”. Sadly, you have to tell her it’s a gun.

  11. When you pause the TV every 5 minutes to explain to your girlfriend what’s wrong with the guns or handling of them.

    Last night it was a drug documentary and the thug said, “I got muh glock 40” and it was clearly a Hi Point.

  12. If you know the difference between 5.56 NATO and .223 Remington…

    If your guns get cleaned more often than your car…

    If you’re forced to choose between food and ammo and you take more than 10 seconds to think it over…

    If you have a holster bolted into your car…

    • The first one isn’t necessarily true. In Europe those two are interchangeable (we pressure test to the specs of 5.56).

  13. You start using stripped AR-15 lowers as paperweights in your home office.

    You groan and grouse about replacing a $400 dishwasher in the kitchen but drop $1200 on a firearm without blinking.

    You complain to the TV when someone in the show/movie handles their prop firearm incorrectly.

    • When I can’t sleep, I field strip an AR in my head rather than count sheep. Works like a charm. As for the actual AR? Boating Accident

  14. I thought of one the other day–when you see a picture of a hot dame who happens to be holding a gun, and all you see is a finger that is too close to a trigger. Or you see a picture of a REALLY hot young lady holding an old revolver, and it so stimulates you that you decide to do some more net-surfing–to find out what kind of revolver it is…. 😉

    • I do that all the time, sadly. 36-32-36 in a skimpy pink bikini holding a gun? The first thing I notice is the booger hook is on the bang switch.

  15. When you remember page numbers by millimeters (page 270 becomes 6.8mm, page 308 becomes 7.62, etc.). Or by calibers.

    When you aren’t bothered by a sprained wrist since it will give you an opportunity to practice weak side drills.

    • +1000 broke 2 of my fingers on my right last week and i have a clay shoot this weekend. been out everyday after work shooting from the left shoulder.

  16. When you buy ammo for a gun that you don’t have (or have in kit form), but are planning on getting in the future.

    Would the fact that I made a “gun” that fires 1/4″ ball bearings using firecrackers for propellant count as being a gun nut?

  17. When you find ammo in your collection for a gun you have never owned, then think “Hm, I need a .44 to shoot this with”

    • Almost did that. I bought some .38 S&Ws at an estate sale because I thought they would fit my .38 special derringer. When I found they didn’t, I started looking for a .38 S&W revolver. Came within an eyelash of buying an old, but well-preserved, US Revolver Co (made by Iver Johnson, it was their “budget” line) .38 S&W at Collector’s Firearms in Houston. Still wish I had, would have made a decent truck gun I expect. Then, of course, I would have had to buy more .38 S&W ammo–LOL!

  18. When you start cringing at the word “clip” even when used in a totally unrelated context. Anyone else do this?

      • LOL i look at my open tabs in my browser.
        1. arfcom active topics.
        2. arfcom – subscribed topics
        3. arfcom – reloading forum
        4. ttag
        5. Ruger Forum – Rimfires.
        6. Gun Nuts Media
        7. M4 Carbine Reloading forum.
        8. UPS Shipping notification on order from midway.

        lol the Dept of HLS probably has a special entry for me

        • Heh. 5-20 tabs of TTAG, ~5 TFB, ARFCom, UZITalk, AKFiles, Gunbot, GunBroker, AIMSurplus, Atlantic firearms as of now. If you have a spot, I get a book. today’s a light surf.

      • Actually, it’s not. Worth it, that is. All the pop-up ads absolutely suck, and worst of all is that some of them have sound. So I’ll walk away from my computer and generally within a few minutes it’ll start blaring about some -re-financing ad (grrrrr)….

  19. …When you find it hard to watch an action movie because of the shitty gun handling.
    …When you find a box of .22 and cheer like you’ve won the lottery.
    …When the necklace that you give your first girlfriend is a shell casing on a chain.
    …When you sleep-clean your weapons in the middle of the night.
    …When you adamantly insist: “I’m not a gun nut! But seriously, that’s not the way you hold a gun. And you can’t cock a Glock. And..”.
    …When you’ve got a list of reasons as long as mine!

    • When you find a box of .22 and cheer like you’ve won the lottery.

      I found a box of Winchester White Box 9mm that I had forgotten about at the bottom of the safe. IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS!

  20. the only way your wife gets you to go out with other couples for dinner is to start off with a couples night at the range

  21. When everyone on your Christmas list gets gets beef jerky & ammo, cause they are gun nuts too.
    When discussing annual cousins reunion, you agree to bring the ammo if your brother will bring the Brisket Bar-B-Que.& Shiner Bock
    When the gun range is on a thousand acre family ranch cause you come from generations of gun nuts.

    – your gun is soooo inaccurate, it shoots years of angle;
    – your gun is sooo tactifool it looks like a Klingon French tickler
    – your mama shoot soooo bad, she need a Polish revolver to compensate

  23. When all your jewelry is fashioned to look like, or made from spent ammo (cuff links, tie clip, watch fob, key fob, bullet pen, etc).
    When you do hand exercises to increase grip strength in all but your trigger finger.
    When you have more reloading manuals than cook books in the house.

  24. I get crazy irritated by the “cocking noises” every damn gun in the movies/tv make when merely pointed, looked at or just held. Especially Glocks and other striker fired guns.,,shouldn’t matter to me..but it does..

    Other than that, the fact that I own guns, like them, shoot them and believe they are simply tools and some works of art, and historical items, make me a gun nut in the eyes of the anti’s.

    I was born a gun nut. My family is nothing but gun nuts. I had no choice. I love it.

  25. If one person knows you and calls you a gun nut there’s room for doubt. When everybody that knows you calls you a gun nut…..

    And people pull you like an expert witness in a court trial. My sister just emailed me from georgia and asked if a story about a b17 crew surviving getting shot up by german fighters because the slave labor in the german factories were sabotaging the ammo during production was true.

    In my circle, it’s just taken for granted I will know the answers to this stuff.

    • Being the guy with the glasses in the group this happens to me often.

      People go: “You! WIth the glasses, Can you answer this?”. Funny thing is that people ask me all kinds of weird things that will get you put on a government watchlist. As in: “Can you make Semtex? What is the Earths circumference?”.

      NOTE: The last question has an easy answer; “almost the same as yo mommas”.

  26. When you were taught to use a gun LONG before you learned to use a chainsaw…and were taught using the same principles. 1) Treat all saws as if they are running and the chain break is disengaged 2) Always keep the saw pointed away from things you dont want to cut 3) Keep your finger off the trigger and straight along the saw until you are fully ready to cut 4) Be sure of your cutting target and anything dangerous or valuable around it. Oh and be sure to wear your eyes and ears along with gloves,a hard hat and cutting chaps…the last two arent very tacticool but they help me get home safe-the same way my gun does!

  27. When you put a glock on a glock so you can glock while you glock. (I still love that picture)

    When you think a single barreled ar is not enough.

    • When you grab the Sawzall in the fire engine for an extrication and you instinctively keep your finger off the trigger until ready to cut.

  28. You know you’re a Gun-Nut when:

    The smell of gunpowder going off puts you in a swoon.

    You use terms like sexy, curvaceous or beautifully formed to describe a Colt SAA or Luger.

    You are puzzled by your wife’s spending on make-up and shoes but perfectly understand your pals spending the rent money on firearms and accessories.

    You made the Second Amendment part of your wedding vows and honeymooned at the Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot.

    When “magazines” are mentioned, you think of guns rather than Time or Playboy.

    Your idea of a fun day is rummaging around a Gun Show or plinking at a range and you can’t comprehend why others don’t want to go with you.

    After winning the lottery you acquire 8000 acres in Vermont or Arizona for a private range, buy more guns and are finally LEFT in PEACE ! Hopefully there will be something left for food and stuff.

  29. You attend Hunter’s Ed with your kid and when they’re going over semi-auto handguns and say that *every* semi-auto has a magazine that loads from the grip you politely point out (during the break) that the C96 Mauser (among others) violates their “grip loading” beliefs…

    • … When the kids go to to pool and want something to dive after you give them empty .30-06 shells ’cause they’re tall, shiny and likely to land standing up.
      … You’re asked to accompany friends to the gun store/Cabela’s when they want to purchase firearms or get into reloading.
      … When you’ve taught your kids to check the discount shelves at the grocery store for shaving cans to shoot at.
      … When the wife gets mad because you’ve used all the potatoes from the 10 lb bag for target practice before she has a chance to use them.
      … You’ve trained your kids/wife to walk on your non-holster side.
      … When your kid gets a new bike and asks you to build a handlebar attachment to hold her BB gun/.22.
      … When spotting a coyote your kids ask if you have a rifle in the car (and are upset when you don’t!)

  30. I don’t know about being a gun nut but I do know that if you don’t FIX THAT CARPET IN THE HALLWAY, SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRIP AND KILL THEMSELVES !

  31. When your wife gets all excited about the .45 you gave her for her birthday and she responds by giving you your new AR on your birthday.

    When you think that 600 rounds a week is just average and you can do better.

    When you have a dedicated press for every caliber you own.

    When your response to how many guns you own is always “One less than I want”.

    • Thats good advice no matter how many guns you have. I had a break in and they took five handguns. Luckily I had all the serial numbers handy to fill out the police report.

  32. When you can ALWAYS justify the purchase of another gun rationally.

    When you check the ammo for .22 before you do anything else.

    When they know your name and your preferences at several local retail establishments specializing in stuff that goes bang and stuff that goes bang accessories.

  33. When you spend all your time on TTAG & other gun forums. BTW it’s NOT OK to use the “N” even if you’re black. It just means you’re a LOWLIFE. From an evil old white man married to a beautiful black woman.

  34. When you pause movies to look at the guns and start listing every visible modification while tabulating how much each one costs and what the total will be. Or when you know the wife is going to kill you for it but… You buy it anyway!

  35. You know you’re a gun nut when you’ve been fingerprinted so many times by the issuing authorities that you bleed ink.

  36. When you keep a 9mm slug, .223 and .308 round on hand and ask which is which and how something high powered is flinging a piece of lead the size of a spitball when people start blaming guns.

  37. when you run out of wall space in the gun room for another cabinet
    when you need another pallet for the ammo

  38. When you notice that in almost every Hollywood action movie or TV show the Bad Guys NEVER have a problem getting enough guns and ammunition, even full-auto, and the good guys never comment on it or wonder where or how they got them.

    When you watch TV/movie gun battles and always do the mental calculation as to hundreds of rounds fired vs. number of actual injuries sustained.

  39. You might be a gun nut when…
    …you start referring to your LGS as Candyland or the candy store.
    …you go out of your way to get a job at the candy store because you NEED the employee discount to be able to make rent after feeding your cordite habit.

  40. When your girlfriend’s dad is cleaning his shotgun and instead of getting nervous you get into a conversation about guns.

    • And you had a better night talking to the dad instead of the girl.

      Or the next date is with the dad to the range and no date with the girl.

  41. …you’re currently sitting on the toilet while reading TTAG and practicing trigger control on your favorite rifle.

  42. When your wife just rolls her eyes when you go on a :

    ” Those sorry A**, F*#&ing liberal gun grabber POS, need to die!” Rant….

  43. When you aren’t actively using the windex bottle you keep your trigger finger nicely along the nozzle, off the trigger.

  44. When you are walking around with a strap of a bag in your hand and realize you have your index finger extended out of sheer habit.

  45. when you pause the movie/tv show to explain to the family that the gun would already be chambered and a round would eject if he racked the slide.

    when you are trying to remember how many grain bulllets the gun in the movie shoots.

    when you try to avoid thinking about how much $ you have spent on guns and ammo.

    when you have note card taped to the top of each ammo can with the exact number of rounds in each.

    when you type the letter “t” in your search bar and the ttag site comes up.

    when you know how to field strip guns that you don’t have while blindfolded.

    when you are hoping for your pregnant wife to hold off on giving birth for a few minutes so your kid can be born at 5:56.

  46. When you are considering renovating the house based on gun storage locations instead of useless things like power sockets, plumbing, windows, counter space, enough bedrooms for the kids…

  47. When you come home from school/work and spend your first hour at home practicing with snap caps in all your handguns. Also pricing things for the girlfriend in terms of ammo and gun prices.

  48. When the major reason you don’t get things done is because you spend to much time here.
    Or, you had to delete TTAG from your homepage because you go there instinctively on starting your browser.

    Off topic: If ads bother you, remember that they keep TTAG running. If you still can’t stand them get an ad-blocker.

  49. When you are listening to a song you like, that a friend told you about, and you hear a gun related LIE. You replay the last few seconds many many times just to confirm and get pissed. Every time you listening to the song after you just get irritated by the ignorance and get shook out of the song.

    at about 0:40

  50. When you run into a friend who now builds ARs and he agrees to build you one for only his cost, you wake up the next couple of mornings, smiling, saying to yourself…”I’m getting an AR for less than my Glock.”

  51. You know your a gun nut when you read everybody’s comments on Question of the Day.
    When your sitting next to your girlfriend in bed and she always ask “are you reading about guns again”. Yes I am.


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