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I know: another Jake Zweig post. But the ex-SEAL’s “popularity” is a proven quantity—at least in these parts. The perfectly watchable¬†Top Shot contestant with semi-mysterious abandonment issues tells TTAG that he’s working on creating his own show. (He’s working so hard you can almost see the steam coming out of his ears.) As for the content of said show, the mind boggles. But if we were going to play Boggle with anyone, it would be with members of our Armed Intelligentia—commentators so pithy that we’re considering offering TTAG-branded keyboard wipes with the message “It wasn’t THAT funny. Or was it?” So, waddya think? What kind of show would be perfect for Mr. Zweig’s self-professed talent for causing trouble—I mean, psyops? Enquiring minds and Jake his bad self want to know.

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  1. How about a Top Gun without all the horseshit.

    1) No drama, no “house”, no shots of the guys shitting around in a living room bitching about stuff.

    2) No edits or cuts. Mount the frigging camera on a tripod and leave it running. Show all jams, misfires, mistakes, etc. If someone lost because their gun jammed 5 times while the opponents gun only jammed once, we should see it. If the manufacturer doesn’t like seeing their gun jam on TV, by God build a fricking gun that doesn’t jam.

    3) No crap with picking weakest link or whatever. Simple double elimination. Everyone runs a stage twice. Person with combined lowest score is off. Period. Teams can be used in that each team picks their strongest player for a given stage.

    4) Hold a Top Gear style review of new shooting iron between the stages. Get someone actually interesting to host it. Or Keith Carradine. Or Katherine Heigl. Naked.
    ** Katherine naked, not Keith.

  2. How about a show where Jake does “seal” stuff. Y’know, like killing terrorists, jumping out of helicopters, or balancing a red rubber ball on his nose?

  3. i think an unfiltered type of TS program might be cool. possibly with more tactical type of scenarios, and no tomahawks or arrows.

  4. I’m thinking something on the food network. Maybe Jake can demonstrate cooking meals with scavanged berries and critters using his SEAL survival skills.

    • Well, we could have Anthony Bourdain help cooking exotic meals in exotic places while battling the local chefs.

  5. I liked Top Shot season one, because it was more about the actual shooting and had less of the reality show BS. They’ve pumped that up in later seasons so I’ve lost interest.

    I actually like some of the historical weaponry, so I’d keep that around. My suggestion would be like Don’s above, but slightly different.

    1) If the first part, when there are still teams, the teams do their thing and compete against each other. The winning team is safe. The losing team goes on and everyone on that team competes against each other in a second challenge and the worst performer goes home. No politics, no interpersonal drama, just put the shots on target or go home.

    2) In the second part, when it merges to become one team, they all participate in a preliminary challenge, and the bottom three finishers compete against each other to see who goes home. That continues until you’re down to three, then obviously you just go to straight challenges to get down to the final person.

  6. Jake and any show he has can kiss my ass because of these words coming from his arrogant mouth: “I’m not a gun nut or a gun guy & I never will be”. Do whatever show you want, Jake, just don’t involve guns in it.

  7. I think he is taking his motivational show on the road and filming it. He could be like Steve Martin in Leap of faith. The only change would be his message of quiting before the work gets to hard.

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