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It’s nice of our friends in the Federal Emergency Management Agency to help us plan for emergencies. Checklists like this can be helpful, reminding us of things we may need and hadn’t considered. But is it possible their list of emergency supply items isn’t quite complete?

[h/t mister3d]

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  1. My DPMS AR-15, Ruger .40, Remington 12GA, and Smith & Wesson .38, with at least 10x capacity for ammo. And the whiskey, we must not forget the whiskey at all costs.

        • Is the Jamison in the easy to loot stores or in the stores protected by guys with shotguns? A valid question for the shtf.

        • Yes, cups. Cups are definitely necessary. Jamison is good but I learned whiskey from some Wisconsin boys. They drank a drink they called Jack & Jack. Start with a 32 oz. cup. Fill half way with ice. Take a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Yukon Jack. Fill cup. So tasty they sometimes got started on a second cup. Yes, don’t forget the cups.

        • I actually haven’t found a whiskey I don’t like yet. But in all honesty should the worst happen, and this country lose all financial value, alcohol would be a great thing to have around for bartering purposes.

    • Dang it! You beat me to it. I rushed to put the same comment below before reading the previous comments. I tip my hat to you ma’am or sir.

  2. Let’s not forget plate carriers for the whole family and a big med kit with supplies for knife and bullet wounds, splints, pain meds and antibiotics along with the defensive arsenal….. Couple trench shovels and a short handled axe….. and as Bill Fields would say “A large bottle of snake bite medicine, and one small garter snake for emergencies!”

      • Hopefully you already had those installed right next to the “baby on board” sticker on the back glass of your car.

      • When Katrina hit, a guy I know in Louisiana and his neighbors painted a 4×8 sheet of plywood with the huge lettering that read, “Drunks with guns. You loot; we shoot”! They posted it at the entrance to their neighborhood and had ZERO trouble. No looting whatsoever.

  3. Nothing about food to last long enough to get to someplace where you can “harvest” game using the also not named weapon of some sort to protect self and family and use to hunt. Matches are great if you have some reason to hve a fire to cook something.

      • They remember Katrina, anyone deployed to that area during Katrina would tell you that the starving dogs ate the newly dead, the semi-newly dead, and gave the living a sideways lunch-cart glance. When reservists / National Guardsmen shot the dogs, the people complained and asked why. “So we can pick up the dead person it’s eating” wasn’t always a good enough answer, so the locals, hearing gun fire sometimes shot back.

        Thank you again evil house of blue liberal (D) bag, New Orleans during Katrina was just a nice ‘cautionary tale’ about what a 3rd world country you will turn America into if you have the chance.

        • Dogs are my kind of animal. Natural Opportunists. Hey, if you have to eat and there is a body laying around, why let it go to waste. Damn the NGs for shooting the dogs though. Not that hard to scare most dogs off. But let them get a good meal first.

  4. So the pet gets to eat and drink…but the family doesn’t? Actually, having more than 3 days’ worth of food stored at one’s home is on the government’s list of indicators that one is a threat to the government, a possible terrorist.

  5. Well, there are two takes here:

    1. Pajama Boy will obviously need his flannel onesie pajamas, and hot chocolate packets.

    2. The rest of us will need firearms, ammunition… and coffee.

    • The way I see it, there’s basically four types of people in the aftermath…

      1. Those who are armed and prepared
      2. Those who are armed
      3. Those who are prepared
      4. Victims who chose to do neither.

      #3 tends to become the supply chain for #2 and #4, and only useful until the #2’s get bored.

  6. Camp stove? Lantern? Fuel for both?

    Real first aid kit?

    I couldn’t tell what sort of emergency this is supposed to be for, but it’s pretty thin.

  7. Did FEMA list “feminine supplies?” Oh, I see they did. Well, then, I can’t detect anything important that’s missing.

        • “But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.”

    • A copy of the book “The Road”, so you know no matter how bad it is, it’s still not as bad as the scenario in the book.

    • I will give them the feminine supplies. Going camping, we always carried (and still carry) maxi pads. If you have a bad cut, it’s a great tool for controlling and containing the blood until you can get to help – and one should be enough in all but the worst cases.

      • combined with an ace bandage maxi pads make excellent temporary wound care. I have experience with same. Some lessons just hurt.

  8. Where’s the knife. How could any emergency supply kit not include a knife as well as a flint & steel fire starter as the first items on the list?

  9. Assless chaps, football shoulder pads and helmets with horns on them. Dog collars and chains and padlocks.

    Did I forget anything?

  10. Good heavens!
    They forgot Toilet paper!
    Got to have lots and lots of toilet paper!
    One roll for every year over 40! Double when you get to 65!

    Don’t forget the friggin Toilet paper! Ever!

    • “Don’t forget the friggin Toilet paper! Ever!”

      Bidet, Gunr.

      A warm water bidet is worth 2 easy, er, make that ‘friendly’ women…


        • Don’t worry about your buddies opinions. You’re probably going to have to eat your buddies to survive anyway.

      • Yeah, good luck packing that bidet around with you. And warming the water for that matter. Unless you have your own solar power and are still in your home. If that is the case you better have LOTS of ammo and some very good weapons. A few Privates to watch all 4 corners of your property would also be a good idea. Perhaps a couple of very large, hungry dogs to stand watch.

  11. I thought we were just supposed to leave everything behind and quietly cue up for our place in a boxcar so we can relocate to a re-education center.

    • Oh no! Your allowed to take one large suitcase with all you money, jewelry and valuables inside, and when you get to your “re-education” center, the jack booted “school” master tells you, they will keep your valuables in a safe place for you!

      • I thought dh34 had the win for the day but you, sir, did one better and won the Intertubez for the day!

    • ALL beer is “emergency beer!
      unless you mean the extra “in case of famine” beer you bring along in case you run out of the “Extra” beer, and the emergency beer.

  12. Blow up doll!
    Unless your over 75! In that case maybe some dirty pictures will get you through the rough spots!

  13. The pet food is superfluous as the dogs and cats can eat the corpses.
    Games and puzzles for the children. Really? The game will be survival and the puzzle will be where and how to get food and water.

    • This list is far more extensive than the fema camping list. That reads as follows:

      Starbucks gift card
      Marshmallows and Hershey bars
      Bug spray

  14. Seriously, that’s all you would take? In the book Lights Out anybody who went to a FEMA center had basically everything and anything they brought confiscated so it could be “redistributed to those who need it” which makes me think I’d be happier outside the wire. I like my pocketknife… it’s mine darn it.

  15. Lots and LOTS of high proof ethyl alcohol (everclear is an example). It’ll degrease machinery (weapons included) disinfect ANY surface, and mixes well with your favorite drink. Hint* use half as much as you would regular vodka, you don’t wanna die now. Also all of the weapons and ammo. If room is left over, bring the cat too, the dog may get hungry ?.

  16. Hmm. Didn’t see my VEPR 5.45 and two Spam cans of ammo listed there.

    Must’ve been an oversight.

  17. I realize this is the wrong site, but in a SHTF emergency, one should probably have a good bow and a lot of arrows. They’re quiet and reusable, so you can hunt without attracting attention. Guns draw attention. 🙁

    • Great point, but this is a gun website so, yeah guns first. Also this says in addition to your kit, they probably have another list that wsays food, water, flashlight, radio. But I thought you used oil lamps and candles in the Shire?

  18. When telecommunications audit is conducted, billing analysts most often examine just a small subset of invoices associated with the largest spending leaving hundreds, thousands, even millions of dollars not found in other telecom spend areas. What’s Missing #4 – How do MRC’s affect your P L?

  19. A radio to know what is going on. For the love of God toilet paper or don’t sit by me!! Dish soap something to cook in,batteries,guns,fishing gear,ammo.

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