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“Guard Dog Security presents a personal defense tool so unique and intimidating it will leave an assailant stunned,” the sales copy proclaims, ironically. “Modeled to look like a real knife, the OnGuard combines a threatening look in a non-lethal and practical device.” Yes, non-lethal . . .

Delivering a shocking blow, a full stun area wraps the entire “blade” of the knife to prevent anyone from grabbing or stealing the OnGuard, as well as offer a larger range for contact. The sleek, rubberized contoured grip makes it easy to hold with optimally placed trigger designed for swift and easy operation.

Featuring two LED lights, the device is further equipped for nighttime visibility to assist in awareness and identification. The built-in rechargeable batteries eliminates the need to continually purchase batteries and provides cost saving benefits. Identify, protect and intimidate with the Guard Dog OnGuard stun gun with flashlight.

A stun gun that looks and carries like an enormous knife. What could possibly go wrong? [NB: You have to create an account with the seller to find out the price. Again, what could possibly go wrong?]

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  1. Same reaction I’ve used for real knife, draw and in two cases convinced him he was betting his life without me firing.

    A really stupid idea, probably going to make a few Darwin Awards.

  2. If the voltage can be dropped to around 7500 volts, it would be a great training altetnative to a $500 Shocknife.

  3. While that may not be an actual knife, I bet legally speaking, a Nazi prosecutor would *love* to charge someone with assault with a deadly weapon if you were to ‘display it in a threatening manor’ to someone.

    It happened *again*.

    Just when I thought I have seen the stupidest possible in self-defense quackery, I now see… *that*.

    The Derp. It flat *hurts*…

    • And once more naked projection; note the prominence of ‘intimidation’ as a feature of the item. ‘Deterrence’ is the term I prefer for a defensive item, meaning its purpose is a response rather than an initiation of force. No wonder the fools who back those peddling stun knives, red-ball shooting pistols, or those idiotic pepper balls as an ‘alternative’ to gun ownership are so quick to assume we’d wave them around in traffic or randomly shoot passersby over a sideways glance.

  4. If they could add a barrel, 15 round mag and change the grip angle a bit I’m sure they’d sell like hotcakes.

    • “A real knife that also shocks?”

      Real knifes are usually made of a strong metal. (Excepting ceramic blades and, *maybe*, a few other oddball materials.)

      Metals usually have an electrical property known as “conductivity”.

      I trust you can deduce what that implies for your idea…

      • Radio frequency high voltage, it doesn’t shock but it does char and slice flesh. And you only need one electrode, so the metal blade alone will do.

    • If you put a strong dielectric layer between two pieces of steel as a laminate, maybe a ceramic that could be your cutting edge, and charge the steel, it might work

  5. Stun guns are so usless. Used a “million volt” stun gun twice on a guy at a nightclub once. The first time as a stun gun, the second time to smash over his head when it didn’t do shit but piss the guy off the first time!

    • I have come up with a generic statement about electricity: voltage hurts, current kills. Not entirely 100% accurate but close enough. You could take 10 megavolts @1pA and be pretty much unaffected, especially if you’re using high frequency AC. However 40V @500mA DC current directly at your heart will kill you dead.

      Need to start getting those current figures up in electroshock weapons, just saying something outputs 1 million volts is fucking meaningless.

      • Also, why would you even need a ridiculously high voltage anyway? I’m convinced it’s simply for the snappy, flashy, spark to intimidate. If the electrodes are in contact with, or better yet embedded deeply into flesh, 100V would be plenty to do significant damage. Anyone around here been zapped by mains power? You’ll know what I’m talking about.

  6. I would rather have a “real large combat knife” IF the situation required it to survive….And I do have a nice cutlery and ancient arms collection…Maybe a Kukri, or a decent Tanto…Maybe bigger in a home invasion…Maybe a Gladius, Kopis, Makaira, Wakizashi, British Calvary saber, ETC…Never hear any history records of the Roman, or Greek militaries complaining about stopping power of their short sword or spears…But, it may be a bit more messy…Come to think of it there was a home invasion news story out of Connecticut this year about the teenage who used a Samurai Katana to stop an intruder…I guess he slash open the guys side, and sent him fleeing into the police…And how about the ancient arms re-enactor who “speared” an armed burglar a year or 2-back….Don’t laugh, history repeating itself….Never mind fake defensive tools….Real ancient arms are protected by the 2nd amendment, and they DON’T jam…

  7. Screw that. Carry a cattle prod. My uncle had one that was solid and 3 feet long. Once the batteries run out you can always beat the guy over the head with it.

  8. Well least it’s tapered so maybe it won’t hurt as much when it is firmly inserted into the rectal cavity after it fails to deter an attacker.

  9. I should state the obvious here about what could go wrong. If you come at someone with a stungun that looks like a stungun, you typically aren’t threatening the use of deadly force, so cannot legally use deadly force in self-defense. But if the stungun looks like a big knife, it probably reasonably appears to be a deadly weapon, which means that the other party can probably legally use deadly force in self-defense. Which means that they can treat it as bringing a knife to a gunfight and legally shoot you dead.

    • If I’m attacked with a stun gun I will defend myself with deadly force. The “Less lethal” stun gun might not kill me (then again it might), but it can render me defenseless. Then the attacker can kill me at his leisure. I’m not gonna let that happen if I can help it.

  10. {SMH}

    Direct from the Department of Bad Ideas….

    Are they expecting someone to grasp the knife blade? Especially if they think it is a real and very sharp knife?


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