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As most of you no doubt know deer hunting requires some degree of stealth. First, given the time of year, it’s frequently cold, especially early in the morning, so layers are in order. Since you want to be as unobtrusive as possible, most hunters go with one flavor of camo or another. Finally, to make sure that prize buck doesn’t bolt after catching a whiff of your Old Spice on the breeze, plenty of would-be Bambi killers douse themselves in scents like doe urine to mask their natural manly musk. Ricky Dale Rector, however, takes a more minimalist approach when on the lookout for venison . . .

As details,

Police were dispatched Saturday afternoon to the 57-year-old Rector’s South Carolina residence in response to a 911 call about “a man in his underwear sitting on his porch with a long-gun.”

When a cop arrived at the home in Woodruff (pop. 4090), Rector was wearing only a “light blue pair of thong underwear,” according to a police report. After ordering Rector off his porch, the officer retrieved the unloaded rifle and a cartridge from a nearby table.

As you might expect, the county mounties were curious as to what Rector was up to in his banana hammock with a rifle.

“Ricky was asked why he was in his underwear and sitting on the porch with a rifle. He stated he was looking for deer,” the cop reported.

While disturbing, there’s nothing illegal about sitting on your own porch with your own rifle in your own thong. The question that went unanswered in the story, though, was whether or not Rector eventually got his deer. If not, would substituting a thong in a Realtree pattern rather than the blue one have improved his chances? It’s hard to say. Your thoughts?

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  1. This is an example of a journalist suffering from withdrawal on a slow news day but it beats the NY papers who make stuff up. You can’t make this stuff up. Dan, try some investigative journalism and find out if nature boy belongs to the NRA. I smell a potential scoop as they used to say at The Daily Planet.

    • If two cops show up and forced you prone in your pretty blue thong , you may look a little disheveled too .
      I hope he listened to his mommy and had clean skivies on .
      Probably just protecting his turnip greens .

  2. The answer to your question is yes. A blue thong is great concealment for DEAR hunting. You will be printing, but at least the LEO can’t arrest you for indecent expo…um, I mean open carrying.

  3. I know nothing to do with this story, but probably illegal to hunt within city limits… so if he did bag a deer he would be all dressed up to face the judge.

    If I ever have to go to court I hope I have the balls to wear a thong 🙂

    • Population 4090, odds are pretty good this is just a municipality with folks scattered about the countryside. Since this guy was visible to passersby, I think he’s more likely to run afoul of game laws regarding shooting across a road or within a certain distance from the road, but that didn’t seem to be a problem in this case.

  4. I’ve seen more deer killed by automobiles than any other single means. Loud trucks, no camo, head lights, horn blowing and tires squealing. Wheew, those are some elusive creatures.

  5. Flipping through the linked Realtree pictorial, it was like a combination Predator meets Where’s Waldo. That stuff’s good. Definitely not your basic 1970s three shades of green, splotchy camo pattern, that’s for sure.

  6. I’ll have to try that. The deer are bound to look at me and think, “nah, no way he’s a hunter.”

  7. By all accounts, blue is the last colour of choice when hunting deer; apparently, it shows up very bright in their vision. Red/orange is better, but obviously a camouflage pattern in keeping with your surroundings (and unspoilt by ultraviolet additives found in some laundry detergents) is preferable.

    • Thing is we don’t know how many blue objects this guy has scattered around on his porch. From the sound of things, it wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to expect there to be a veritable junk yard of all sorts of colors that those deer pass by and are accustomed to seeing everyday. So maybe a blue thong is no big deal in this instance.

  8. Model 31, Ron White has some funny stuff .
    Hunters don’t put doe urine on themselves , they drag scent pads or hang them nearby.

    This year we took about 40 off the farm and one young Mom shot a doe out her kitchen window, not sure of her attire at the time.

    • I have heard (admittedly, second,third or maybe even fourth hand) of amorous bucks attacking a hunter with, umm, lustful intent after they doused themselves with doe scent, instead of spreading it on the ground.

  9. Last year I shot two coyotes from my patio while wearing my bath robe. I know not quite as exciting as a blue thong. But still…

  10. I hate to have to suffer through another story about someone’s son or grandson getting his first deer at 8 years old, I’ve heard the same old story all my life and if an 8,7,6 year old can kill a deer,it can’t be that hard.Now that tired old story is inclusive and includes the daughter or granddaughter in the story. I understand a fetus bagged a 10 pointer the other day.

  11. jokes aside.
    I’d be pretty pissed if the cops came and ordered me off my porch and took my firearm without me actually breaking any laws.

    Like said above, looking crazy isn’t illegal.

    • Quite; to be honest, he could be stark bollock naked, passers by should mind their own and not be spying onto others’ properties.

  12. Deer eyes are extremely sensitive to blue light. A blue object is as brilliant to deer as a brightly illuminated neon orange object against a black background is to humans.

    That being the case, the man’s blue thong would be really bright and attract the attention of any deer within 400 yards. Thus a thong in RealTree camouflage pattern would be much more effective for hunting than a blue thong.

    Note to self: make sure that even your thong is camouflage when you are hunting.

  13. I have shot deer off my porch, in my undies, after having barely set down my first cup of coffee. More than once. That said, if anyone could see me, they were trespassing for quite a while.

  14. He’s just feelin’ good!

    Our subject clearly inadvertantly disassembled his magazine, leaving the pieces on the floor of his porch, where he trod on them.

    His surprise caused him to give himself a wedgie, so he has a spring in his step and a thong in his heart.

  15. Thank you for not posting pics. It’s too early in my day to have to reach for the eye bleach. 🙂

    If he was in the city limits then he might have been in violation of local ordinances on shooting, but if not, hey – a man should be able to sit on his own porch in his underwear with a rifle if he wants. I think I’d go with RealTree rather than blue, myself. Or at least MuddyGirl.

    They left out the important detail though: what kind of rifle did he have?

  16. Yes! a blue thong effective concealment for deer hunting. As I’m a deer hunter I didn’t know that before reading a lesson may also be effective for you.

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