Have you ever had a dream so realistic that, for a while at least, you weren’t sure if you were awake or not? It can be pretty disconcerting. Like the one where you walk into work or school, look down and realize you’re not wearing pants. At some point, it dawns on you that that you’re dreaming, but until then your heart’s pounding and you break out in a flop sweat. No fun. So it was probably just that type of feeling that explains why Steve Tilbury was willing to do just about anything to wake up from his chemically induced head trip. Except he wasn’t really asleep . . .
Steve’s the kind of guy who likes to expand his mind, exploring altered states of consciousness. Along with some friends, he’d managed to get his hands on some funny funghi Tuesday, eating some of it and drinking tea brewed from the ‘shrooms. But Steve passed out at some point and, as news-journalonline.com details, his buddies took off.
“Tilbury said he woke up and it felt like it wasn’t real,” deputies wrote in the report.
Tilbury told investigators he felt like he was awake in a bad nightmare and could not escape from his house.
OK, yes, the News-Journal story was written by someone named Patricio G. Balona, but it’s way too late for an April Fools joke. Whatever, the solution to Steve’s problem was obvious. Or it was to him, anyway.
“Tilbury said he thought if he shot himself he would wake up from the bad dream,” investigators said.
The teen told deputies he walked into his parents’ bedroom and got a .22-caliber rifle. He then went back to his own bedroom, sat down on his bed, put the butt of the gun on the floor, removed the safety and fired once into his own forehead.
We’re guessing Steve’s seen Inception once or twice too many times. But they say God watches over drunks and small children and the big guy must have a soft spot for psylocybin experimenters, too. Despite the gunshot to the forehead, Tilbury didn’t “wake up.” And somehow he didn’t die, either.
For some reason, the bullet didn’t fully penetrate his brain case (start the caliber wars…now!) and thankfully he’ll be just fine. As he told a deputy who asked if he was trying to off himself, “No, I just wanted to wake up from the bad nightmare. I am happy and I love my life.”
We’re just glad Stevie’s folks didn’t have a .30-.30 instead of a .22 or they’d be repainting his room about now. But we suggest they keep the trusty rimfire under lock and key until young Master Tilbury can be trusted around the house alone. In the mean time, Steve and his folks will get a little IGOTD keepsake from us to put on the shelf in his bedroom and we feel confident its mere presence will help keep him firmly grounded in reality for some time to come.