Man holds handgun in gun store
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I’m Grande Queso, Nick Leghorn’s confidential source for all things firearm industry related. During an alarming lapse of good judgement this evening, Nick has decided to abuse his newly acquired title of “editor” at TTAG and allowed me to pen a guest column. And the topic of the day is the firearm professional/customer relationship.

First, a 15-second biography: I’m a licensed manufacturer and SOT of firearms, even though I can barely put together furniture from Ikea. I’m an NRA certified instructor, I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset and magdumping my full-size Uzi. But, enough about me – lets get down to business.

The firearms business is very misunderstood. The mainstream media wants to portray gun salesmen as liars, irrational people who are in favor of the collapse of society just so they can show how prepared they are. Generally uneducated and ignorant people.

Actually, that’s not the case. Many of us are just trying to make a living and some of us can actually spell and use grammar correctly, although many are too old to really care anymore. One thing they find that remains constant, though, is that on one side you have the industry and on the other you have the customer.

Call me old fashioned but people treated my father with respect, and he would respond in kind. That’s the way I grew up and was taught to do business. Not anymore. I’m constantly reminded of the phrase, “The customer is always right” whenever it’s convenient for the customer. My follow up to that is the person who coined that phrase died broke traveling London via bus.

Evolution has brought the terms “customer service” and “good will,” which once meant treating people right and taking care of business professionally, to a modern definition which is roughly translated as “I am the customer. You are the retailer. You are getting my money which makes you my slave.” I think that’s unacceptable.

Respect is a two way street, you have to give respect to get respect. Or, alternately, as viewers of the hit show Deadliest Catch who remember Captain Phil Harris shout, “You’ve got to earn it!” I agree.

As with all businesses, I have good customers, I have bad customers and I have some customers from hell. I refuse to let the customers from hell ruin my business. To better understand the relationship, let’s look at all three species:

Good Customers – I love my good customers. I’ve heard stories from industry colleagues where customers bring them venison backstraps during season, snakes (I know a gun dealer who has an 8-year-old daughter that loves snakes, so customers bring them in for the kid – nice gesture!), cigars, even the occasional bottle of scotch. I’ve been known to receive the occasional meatball sub, chicken wings or have the #1 meal at Chick-fil-A delivered to me at no charge by someone who works at the restaurant and knows I’m stuck working late, doing paperwork.

These are awesome people. They’re MY kind of people. They make it all worthwhile. I have a few doctors that come in every once in awhile and since I don’t have health insurance, I invented my own HMO. Every time I get sick, they stop by and make me healthy in exchange for ammo. Maybe not the perfect system, but it works for me.

Bad Customers – this category covers a lot of ground, but if you have your retailer’s personal phone number (whether it’s home, cellular, or hunting lodge) don’t abuse it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a blind the first day of duck season, only to get a call from someone looking for an AR 15 at 7:45 in the morning. I don’t interrupt your quality time, please don’t interrupt mine. This is that whole ‘respect is a two way street’ thing kicking in. I’ve had people call at 11:30 at night after seeing that I responded to an email. They apparently figure that if I’m able to write an email response, I’m happy to pick up a phone. Being realistic is just common sense, a trait lost on too many in this day and age.

Customers from Hell – There’s a fine line between your standard bad customers and customers from hell. Most bad customers don’t know any better. The customers from hell are another story.

The past 6 months have yielded an unbelievably high number of customers from hell, thanks to the action – or rather the inaction – of gun control measures in Congress. Due to demand, everyone is/was/will continue buying every firearm-related good ever produced on the basis of fear of a legislative shift, paranoia, or pure capitalist speculation.

A bad customer will expect me to match a price that I gave them two months before Sandy Hook. A customer from hell will find a post on an internet forum or Facebook from two years ago advertising an AR15 lower parts kit at $55, bump it and get everyone to fill my inbox with orders or share it with all their friends.

Being realistic or having attention to detail – seems to be a lost art.

Just this morning, I had an interesting case that I will have to lump in the customer from hell category. This is a low volume customer and everything he had purchased yielded profits of under $100 for calendar year 2012. He sent out an email to 198 people in his address book outlining his displeasure with the way he was treated at the local BMW dealer. He put 198 people in the “To:” field, so that anyone who made a reply and hit “Reply All” would deliver the message to all 198 recipients.

I typed out the following reply. “Hey, I don’t get paid enough to listen to your bullshit so stop sending me this crap.”

Upon reflection, I realized that such a response was unprofessional and rude. I sanitized it and sent a message indicating politely that personal matters are none of my business and I would appreciate being left out of such a discussion.

Greg replied back:

As a professional software developer of over 18 years, I’m perfectly aware of the concept of blind carbon copy versus carbon copy. I used CC on purpose. I wanted to get people riled up. I wanted to spread the news about my discontent with everyone, and I hoped that everyone would forward the email on to other people they know, as I had asked. I also hoped that responses would come back throughout the group. If you are unfortunately receiving unwanted emails, I obviously have judged you wrongly, and as I stated in a previous email won’t be sending any more business your way. Thanks for your assistance in the past, Greg.

Now, what any reasonable individual should infer after reading these email exchanges are:

  1. I am apparently not only a gun dealer, but also some form of mental health professional.
  2. By being Greg’s gun dealer, I am somehow beholden to him to listen to his rants about his BMW lease. My job is to get riled up about it, forward his angry wordstorm via email to all my customers and organize a boycott of the local BMW dealer on his behalf.

  3. In the spirit of honesty, I have forever lost Greg’s business because I refuse to partake in these types of shenanigans since he has expected me to further his cause.

If anyone gives a damn, Greg is upset that the dealer wants $600 to replace two tires on the car instead of the $400 he agreed on. He’s deployed a scorched Earth/Sherman’s March to the Sea PR campaign over $200.

This is an example of where someone oversteps their bounds as a customer. Unless you have established this level of relationship with me in the past, involving me in your personal dramas first thing in the morning is not the right way to cultivate a friendship. In this case, all Greg has done is filled my inbox with messages from his colleagues suggesting a BBB complaint and posting on the BMW dealers Facebook page. All the while, keeping me from dealing with my other customers.

Unless you’re a close personal friend, you pay me for exactly the amount of time it takes to deal with your firearm and your firearm-related issues, and nothing more. If you want to complain about how your BMW dealer screwed you out of $200, I’ll be happy to listen at the shop rate.

Moral of the story: don’t be a customer from hell. Please respect our profession, please treat us with dignity and please don’t call the deer stand the first day of the season. And Greg, if you’re reading this, don’t take this personally but….. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN BMW.

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  1. The customer is always right, until they’re wrong. I have seen some incredibly rude people in retail establishments that would have been tossed out of a bar for their behaviour but think it’s okay to behave that away at the local store.

    • That, friends, is one of the beauties of law enforcement. When the customer is wrong, and it’s clearly known (such as on a police dash cam), that customer gets the enforcement action he deserves. We recently had a guy fake a heart attack in an attempt to get out of a ticket. I’m perfectly alright with a retailer chewing out a customer from hell.

      I’ve intervened when yuppies have taken it upon themselves to chew out Starbucks baristas for getting the coffee wrong. Sad.

      I’ve found that I get the best deal by ‘being cool,’ being knowledgeable, and respecting retailers. A little law enforcement info or a beer from the local watering hole doesn’t hurt, either.

      • I manage a small auto parts store, and while at work can’t always say what I’d like to, but when I’m the next guy in line every once in awhile I get to chew out the customer from hell in front of me! Thanks for doing the same!

        • Oh boy, then you’re my kinda guy. I understand full well how nasty people can be and how customer service reps can’t say what they want. So when I see this crap as a customer I’m more than happy to give them he’ll on the CSR’s behalf

    • I watched a woman order a pizza from outside walk in with her kids during lunch the place is packed and start flipping out that she wasn’t getting served before the 20 other people in line waiting. Now I’m a very layed back guy but I had to muster everything in me to not say anything to her that the kids shouldn’t hear.

  2. You didn’t ask for my life story, and I respect that. Please recognize I didn’t ask for yours.

    It would be a totally different story over a few beers, but the one in front of me – *I* bought that.

    • What immediately popped into my head:
      Ron White – You Can’t Fix Stupid
      (Language NSFW, relevant part runs for 30 seconds from start point)

      “This guy told me his entire life story against my will.
      This guy raped my ear.
      This guy forcefully shoved unwanted information into my earhole… ‘No means no.’
      This guy’s telling me stories somebody else told him, about somebody they know.
      I was third generation don’t give a fvck.”

  3. Glad to see you make your way off /r/guns! I think you’re a great asset to the online gun culture. You should start a youtube channel, brah.

  4. I agree with a lot of what you say, but if you give out your cell phone number expecting to be able to earn money outside of the normal 9-5, either define another set of business hours or, you know, turn off the ringer.

    As you said, respect is a two way street, but it sounds like you want the exclusive right to slam a customer for taking advantage of a phone number you willingly provided, and only truly like the customers who give you freebies.

    Remember, as a business owner, you need to find and retain many customers. Customers only need to find one business that treats them right.

    • My customers have my ‘phone number.

      If they call at stupid o’ clock in the morning ’cause their alarm is going off for no known reason and they need help making it behave, well and good.

      If they want to discuss upgrades or other services, they can wait ’til I’m open.

      For the most part, they know this.

  5. FC:

    You actually have your phone turned on when you go hunting? When I play golf the phone stays in the car. When I am hunting, hopefully there is no cellphone coverage but if there is the phone is turned off. Just because you have phone doesn’t mean it has to be turned on. The only time I have kept my phone on in a recreational environment was in the spring of 1999 when I was waiting for a “go order” from the SECDEF.

    • Owning a small business means a few trade-offs that most folks can duck.

      I’m in alarms; my ‘phone’s never off – although when I’m stalking Bambi it’s on vibrate.

      • All my clients had my cell phone number and my home number as well as my personal email. While I did receive the occasional call from them, they were smart enough to make them when they would not be obtrusive. And I was smart enough to turn my phone off when a call would be obtrusive.

        You want to know the ultimate in client friendliness? Scroll up to the big guy’s phone number.

        • Yeah, I’d noticed that; while I’ve never called it, I appreciate the respect he shows by providing it,

        • Ah, but Ralph, it’s easier for a successful lawyer to bill for all those random calls/emails/etc. than for an FFL or other business owner to do the same. I guess he could add a “Pain in the Rear” surcharge to certain customers’ bills…

        • Ya seriously. That’s top-notch. My son got his hands on my phone and I had been reading a little TTAG and suddenly I hear talking. Turns out he hit that number and RF answered. I explain what happens and he asks if I know about TTAG. That’s when it clicked: I’m on the phone with Robert fvcking Farago. Pretty gnarley. What a guy

  6. Greg, NO ONE gives a shit about your first world BMW problems.

    We are all far too busy giving extra shits about our first world ammo availability problems.

  7. Yeah, I’ve had to fire customers myself.

    The stories I could tell…! Suffice to say that providing a service does not make one a servant, or imply servility.

    Yeah, should I ever step into your shop I’ll be just a plain ol’ customer.

  8. 1. The Customer Is Not Always Right

    2. The retailer Is Not Always Right

    3. Through Our Differences, We Make Harmony

    • That was hanging on the wall over at Eataly the last time I was there having lunch with my cousin. Such a great sign, I wanted to post something similar but I forgot about it until now.

    • Ain’t that the truth. I went into a gun shop looking for a cc piece for my wife. Found a gorgeous little 442 air weight. Perfect for the little lady. Two customers in the shop and 3 employees(I think one was the owner). I ask if I can see it. Guy says sure just let me handle this first. The owner( fat slob) sits on his ass for twenty minutes while his employee handles some other guys owner and leaves me standing there twiddling my thumbs. I’m waiting so I ask him how much .41 AE goes for a bix( a buddy was given a baby eagle in the caliber). “It doesn’t exist”. Uh…. Yes it does. “Nope”. I laugh and shut up. Unfortunately I couldn’t pass this thing up for my wife so the slob still got my business. If .41 AE wasn’t so expensive I’d have left him a box on his front step.

  9. Guy drives a BMW and he is getting his underwear all twisted on an extra $200 for tires. As the retired VP of sales of our company use to say ” Sometimes you have to fire your customers.”

    • Conversely, I used to work at a big box home improvement store whose management bent over backwards for even the most asinine customer demands, while simultaneously refusing to ever back their employees in any potential misunderstanding or disagreement. I had a department manager that used to talk of quitting and “getting promoted to customer.”

      • I would much rather be a customer of my employer than an an employee. I actually know a couple of people who have made that transition and they are much happier. It is hilarious when they come by, I used to kid one of them that I never saw him smile when he worked here.

    • If he had a brain, or wasn’t broke, he not signebe fleeceing his overpriced toy. He would have PURCHASED it.

      $400 doesn’t buy diddly in tires for ANYTHING today. $600 might buy TWO decent tires for a BMW.

      • My crappy non-turbo scoobie’s tires cost more than $600 for a set. My kids ride in my car, I am not going to get the $25 installed special Rongchengs at NTW.

  10. “I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset and magdumping my full-size Uzi. But, enough about me ”
    Right off the bat, I knew I’d like this guy.
    When we go on our “cast and blast” trips to the snake river, we go there in part because there is no cell service.

  11. “The customer is always right” was coined by someone who NEVER dealt directly with a “customer” before…of that I’m sure.

    That being said, it is a two way street. You get what you give: if you talk down to people, gouge prices, or just generally act like an a$$hat, I think you’re fare game for customers from hell. However, if you sell quality merchandise at fair prices and treat people as you expect them to treat you…that’s a business that I will be a repeat customer at. It’s all about perspective.

    Or as Obi Wan say “From a certain point of view”…:)

  12. Speedway fires cashiers that try to defend themselves and the cash register during a robbery. Customer service is insane in this country.

    I feel bad just going to a gun store and just asking to see something I don’t intend on buying that day, but the range doesn’t have everything.

    • I thought I was the only one who felt that guilt… I love poking around at the fun stores and handling different firearms, but I kinda feel like a dick when I know I’m not gonna buy that day. To their credit, all the shop guys I’ve talked to have been really cool, whether I’m buying or not.

      • From time to time I will do a gun shop circuit. I don’t need a gun or other product. But if something catches my eye that I decide I can’t do without, I buy it. But I will never buy from a store that treats me badly, even if I’m just window shopping.

        And I don’t get all verbal and emotional if I’ve been mistreated. I simply cross that store off my list and move on.

  13. FC, I don’t want to be a bad customer or a customer from hell. I just want to go to the shop, buy what I need at a fair price and leave. That’s the “relationship” I have with my favorite LGS — it’s entirely arm’s length. The people there are polite, reasonably knowledgeable and fast. So am I. I’m in, I’m out and I’m happy. I have not, and never will, bring any of them a sandwich. Because if sandwich delivery is what it takes to be a “good customer,” count me out and call Domino’s.

    • Ralph, right there with you. I love people who know what they want, get in and get out and let me get onto more pressing matters. Sandwich delivery, although not mandatory is nice when you’ve been working all day on an empty tum.

      • ^ this.

        The extent of my relationship with the local FFLs is simple: if they have a product at a price point that is fair, and I want that product, I buy it. End of discussion.

        I don’t ask for favors, and I don’t make a stink when something doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

        Now if only I could drag my wife out of “customer from hell”…

        • I’m trying to drag my boss out of “customer from hell”. It’s hilarious when he gets mad at a customer from hell who’s bothering us at work, and then he tells me about how he cussed out a McDonald’s employee because she put onions on his burger.

    • This was basically my reaction, as well. From my experience in retail, there’s a very large customer group that’s basically “get in, get out, get on with life” and I appreciate that. By neglecting to mention that group, FC, you kind of sounded like you expect people to give you freebies. I’m sure you didn’t mean to come off that way, but that’s how I interpreted it.

  14. This was super irrelevant. So in order to be a good customer, I have to bring my FFL random gifts?

  15. Used to have a jar with a sign on it stating, “Contains ashes of problem clients.”

    A few raised eyebrows.

    • When my daughter started dating, I fabricated latex replicas of smallish male genitalia and mounted them on plaques about my study. They bore brass plates labeled “Tampa – 2003,” “Denver – 2002” et cetera.

      Anyone wishing to take my daughter out had first to endure an interview, with those in sight and up just high enough that a furtive glance was insufficient to determine their provenance.

      I chuckle [evilly] at the memory of more than a few rattled youngsters.

      • Russ, the question/s need to be asked. How did you learn to fashion latex replicas of smallish male genitalia and who was your model?

        We definately have too much time on our hands.

        • No model was needed; I know well enough what they look like – in general terms – and accuracy wasn’t so important.

          That they were recognizable was enough. Any imperfections could be chalked up to sloppy taxidermy.

          They did their job, rest assured.

  16. I had a customer come up to my counter as state “All your stuff is way too expensive.” I assume that was an opening salvo to start a haggling session. My response was… “Yes it is”. End of conversation. Firing customers when necessary.

    The customer is always right when they have a leg to stand on and they are paying good money.

    I try to be that good customer. When I ask my LGS his opinion, I want to hear it, not what he thinks I want to hear. Groupthink is the destruction of this culture.

    • Sounds like my customers.
      I had a guy come in and ask “is that your best price?”
      I said “no” and told him a higher number.
      He said “that is not better”.
      I replied “it is for me”.

  17. Having seen how “FirearmConcierge” treats his customers, I can tell you that you aren’t getting the whole truth in his little ‘stories’, which he likes to spam on Reddit 20 times a day. Respect is not his forte.

    Why do you hide behind anonymity? Put your name out there and the name of your business for all to judge.

    I urge the readers of TTAG to avoid this guest columnist in the future.

    • Quit hiding behind anonymity and post your Beemer’s plate numbers out there! Or should we just look for the one with new, overpriced tires driving in the opposite direction of FC’s shop?

      Ha! I win this internet battle with indomitable wit and cunning. Good day, sir.

    • B-b-b-b-but, he’s just an honest small business owner trying to make a buck in the tough world. You just don’t understand the kind of idiots he has to deal with on a daily basis. If you did, you take him a sandwich, a bottle of scotch, and maybe give him a blowjob because his life is soooo difficult, what with dealing with the unwashed masses and taking their money day in and day out.

      And, show a little respect. He’s obviously -very- clever (you’d know that if you ever read his posts!), and it’s not -his- fault we’re all morons.


  18. I’ve heard it said that 5-10% of your customers will cause 90% of your problems. If you “fire” those customers as you identify them, you will be better off for it in the long run.

  19. Ah, tales from Customer Service. My sister-in-law once worked retail at a shop in the mall where they did body piercings. She had one morbidly obese woman come into the store and insist on showing her her navel ring. So she hiked up her shirt and proceeded to conduct a search of her belly fat rolls, lifting each one in turn as if she were browsing through folders in a filing cabinet, until she finally located said navel with the aforementioned ring thereunto affixed. She boasted that her husband didn’t even know it was there yet.

  20. Having quit Reddit, I genuinely missed your horror stories and gun info FC, nice to see I can get some of it here now.

  21. i would suggest using to cell phones. one for the good customers and friends, one for business. just turn of the business one if you want to be safe from customer-from-hell-calls. i did so at university, some people thought it’s a good idea to call me for some physics-exercises at 6 o’clock at morning on a sunday. my cell phones are dedicatet to late risers / early birds. i don’t turn on the early bird one before 14:00. (well, on weekends :))

  22. Just my .02: Most modern cell phones now have a “blocking” feature, where you can block all calls during specified time periods, except for a manually selected whitelist. The block is automatic, and does not have to be manually activated after the initial setup. Thus you can leave your phone on 24/7, but the only people that will get through while the block is on are those you pick, like family and close friends. The rest just go to voice mail to be dealt with in the morning.

  23. What about when the LGS jacks up the price 60% to 100% for no reason? Or when they raise their transfer fee 50%? Or when they are blasting FOX News or just plain old dicks? I have been to one shop…the owner is a dick. The other employees are nice. I treat everyone with respect and my kids are respectful in the store but when the owner is being a dick to them and with me and his employees…guess what I go elsewhere. And that is why I go to Walmart to get ammo (I can wait) and buy the firearms online. You want us to spend money at the LGS…stop being pricks.

    • Well Shawn, as a business – that’s their right and as a consumer it is your right to vote with your pocketbook. 6 months ago, prices went through the roof and dealers with product made out. Dealers without, made no sales and no profits. If they increased their price, that is their prerogative as a retailer.

      I will admit that when I had a bunch of low price transfers clogging up my day, I gave serious thought to raising my transfer fee because overnight my time became a lot more valuable selling my own merchandise rather than someone elses.

      And I will agree – Fox News has no place in a working environment. If you play CNN, you upset the right. If you play Fox News, you upset the left. If you play CNBC, you upset those without money. I think if anything, the TV should be tuned to the weather channel or ESPN 8, The Ocho.

      • Here is the problem. The stores raised the prices of their stock (acquired before the election/shooting) to crazy levels after the election/shooting for no reason other than to make the $$$. The cost to produce never changed. So, they screwed the customers. While Walmart’s prices stayed exactly the same. So, that tells me that like any other corporation, they want to squeeze as much as they can out of the man. No worse than gas companies changing their prices on a daily basis. I am all for capitalism, but not to the detriment of society. I mean, I saw an AR at one shop at $1600, they exact same AR at the other shop on the other side of town for $1300 and the MSRP on the company’s website was $1000. So, I know they are trying to rip people off. It is a scam.

        • Walmart sells a lot of stuff that allows them to cover their costs. When a small LGS all of a sudden has no guns, no ammo, and no magazines/other accessories to sell; they have to increase the profit margin per item to make up for the drastically decreased sale volume caused by lack of product availability.

  24. Thanks for the incite and article. I try never to be the customer from hell, or even a bad customer. I get it, and doing business long term it is sort of like a marriage. Sometimes you only have one LGS in your area, and being on good terms is always a good thing. I try to be good to those I know who can get me the good stuff. 🙂

  25. Am I the only one put off by this rant?

    No, the customer is not always right, but email filters can fix a lot of evils. Petty annoyances are not worth alienating a customer over. That is clearly a case where the customer is right.

    As for calling at odd hours, why did you give them your phone number in the first place? That seems to be an expected outcome. You might think of getting a business only phone if that bothers you so much.

    I guess business is pretty good to put out all these petty grievances as though they were at all worth bringing up to strangers.

  26. No need for my comment, but you should take a page out of Gandhi’s book:
    “A customer is the most important visitor on our premises.
    He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him.
    He is not an interruption in our work – he is the purpose of it.
    We are not doing him a favour by serving him. He is doing us a favour by giving us the opportunity to serve him.”
    – Mahatma Gandhi

  27. News flash for anyone unaware, guys that drive BMWs are self-absorbed dicks.

    I used to have a business & would have to fire customers from time to time.

    At my favorite LGS I often go in to shoot the $hit, I just can’t figure out how he stays in business, he has like twelve guns in stock, you want anything you place an order.

  28. This sounds a lot like FirearmConcierge who frequently posts ob Reddit. FC comes off as arrogant and self-righteous on reddit, as he does here.

    So, a good customer gives him gifts and a “customer from hell” ccs him on ad (admittedly annoying) email that would have taken exactly 3″ seconds out of his day if he just hit delete?

    FC frequently blasts his customers on reddit for offenses as minor as saking if he’ll price match a conpetitor or taking 3 hours to reapond to his email. He is also suspected of creating sockpuppet accounts to give himself positive reviews.

    I’d never spend a penny with FC because of his attitude. Don’t give him a soapbox to broadcast his whining to a larger audience.

  29. You know what, I’m pretty tired of hearing this type of garbage. Since Sandy Hook I’ve watched online stores raise prices by ridiculous percentages. I’ve watched bids on GunBroker go stupid high and people still pay. You want all of this respect and seem to expect a ball washing in order to be considered a “good” customer. FFL’s and other firearm related distributors have stuck it to their customers over the last 6 months and I think TTAG should write about that then let this blowhard guest write.

  30. A couple of other people finally said it. The author kinda did to us what BMW dude did to him. No biggie, just like he didn’t have to read BMW dude’s e-mail, nobody forced us to read this.

    That aside, the perspectives of an FFL could be very interesting. Tell us what you think we need to know about Federal laws, how to get into the business, what people should consider before going into a shop to look for firearms, how to tell if a used pistol is mechanically sound. I don’t know, anything. “Don’t be a dick” is a fine message, but I’d love some info that taps into your special expertise.

  31. Well will ya look at that, a picture of Take Aim Gun Range in Sarasota, my local gun range. I’ve been a member there for 2 years, great place, nice folks there.

  32. Our son had to get out of retail because he couldn’t stand dealing with all of the rude cretins who think the principles of civilized conduct don’t apply in that millieu. Now he’s a welder and no longer has to tamp down the urge to choke the living s**t out of some inbred congenital syphilitic who so richly deserves it.


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