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Chuck Norris: How to Improve Church Security

Robert Farago - comments No comments

Over at Ammoland, action movie star turned columnist Chuck Norris responds to a USA Today article warning of increased violence in churches over the holiday period. The obvious answer: hire Chuck Norris for security! Failing that, get in touch with your inner Chuck Norris (WWCND). Nope. That’s not how the world famous Okie rolls. He’s way more serious in real life. Norris recommends boning-up on both ballistic and non-ballistic defense with a bunch of books and websites on the subject. And then, finally, makes with the bullet points . . .

* Seek out church safety seminars and training conventions, such as those offered by Chinn or the National Organization of Church Security and Safety Management (http://www.nacssm.org). Sheepdog Seminars for Churches’ first seminar is Feb. 21-22, 2014, in Denver (http://www.sheepdogseminarsforchurches.com).

* I also recommend that church leaders come together with local law enforcement — maybe even officials who are a part of their congregation — to discuss church safety. At the very least, I’m certain these public servants and trained defenders with licenses for concealed weapons would be more than willing to volunteer by manning a post discreetly at public events.

* Lastly, prepare an emergency plan. Christianity Today cited Andrew G. Mills from Building Church Leaders, who said, “If a shooter gets in:

– “Pastors or other visible leaders should draw attention away from the congregation.
– “Throw hymnals, yell from multiple directions, and attempt to tackle shooter from behind en masse.
– “Establish communication with the police as soon as possible. (Preferably, only those on the church’s crisis response team should call 911.)
– “When police arrive, stay on the ground until you are told to move. When told to get up, move slowly with no objects in your hand.”

I’m not so sure about that ‘stay on the ground’ thing; why are you on the ground in the first place? Hitting the deck when the S hits the fan is a sensible response, but GTFO is job one. I’m not sayin’ that crawling or hiding horizontally is out of the question, and attacking may be a viable indeed desirable response, but feets don’t fail me now.

No matter how you slice it or what the antis argue, you’re better off in a church attack if you have a gun. So pack heat for the holidays. And train with it, following the Chun Kuk Do Code of Honor: “I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.” Amen.

[An earlier, more sleep-deprived version of this story suggest that Mr. Norris did not recommend concealed carry for individual congregants. That was obviously false. I apologize for a bad read.]

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Robert Farago

Robert Farago is the former publisher of The Truth About Guns (TTAG). He started the site to explore the ethics, morality, business, politics, culture, technology, practice, strategy, dangers and fun of guns.

0 thoughts on “Chuck Norris: How to Improve Church Security”

  1. nice review Nick. Whats your vote on Nano vs LCP? Is the less easy to get out of pocket size to stopping power trade off worth it?

    Reply
  2. -Chuck Norris does not go hunting, hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    -One day Chuck Norris hooked up with a prostitute in the back of a semi truck. A single drop of semen fell on the seat. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

    Reply
  3. Washington DC has upped the Ante in The War on the American People by its government. I’m pretty sure the place will get burned to the ground when SHTF.

    Reply
  4. DC has no legal guns on the street and yet there’s a shooting nearly every night. They have “Taxation without representation” on their license plates, but the rest of America is wise enough not to grant that plantation on the Potomac statehood, with the attendant ability to further screw up the national political scene.

    Max McGuire was lucky he remembered – he’s not nearly important enough to skate if he was caught.

    And BTW, the DC duelling field was actually located in Bladensburg, Maryland. I rode by it today.

    Reply
  5. “But the fact that the Supremes took the case indicates there’s at least some room for interpretation of “actual buyer” there.”
    OK, so they’re willing to stomp a p1ss-ant while refusing to halt the whole “baby and bathwater” thing by hearing the Maryland case. GREAT MOVE, guys! The breezes of freedom blow so much stronger now…

    Reply
  6. “Compared to iconic names like Smith & Wesson and Colt, Iver Johnson is not much more than a historical footnote except for very recently). However, if you’re going to be a footnote in U.S. arms manufacturing history, being an infamous one certainly makes things more interesting, a feat Iver Johnson achieved as a result of its revolvers being used to assassinate both President William McKinley in 1901 and Senator Robert Kennedy in 1968.”

    From https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2010/03/don-gammill-jr/gun-revieww-iver-johnson-32-sw/

    Reply
  7. Michael Mordaga tells legal gun owners:

    “And I will wait for you
    As long as I need to
    And if you ever get back to Hackensack
    I’ll be here to arrest you”

    Reply
  8. My wife owns the charter pink lady. She likes it. The recoil is ruff. But the accuracy is dead on. Got a larger grip for it & it’s even better. I shot it out to 50 yrds & got paper all day long. Up close 5″-20″ 1″-2″ groups. So I don’t see why all the negative talk.

    Reply
  9. I think it’s a lot simpler than that. It’s the same reason there is that sect of the average person that we can’t convince how important self defense is: when you propose to them the dangers of a home invasion or a car-jacking, or even just a regular old mugging in the parking lot, all they can do is shake their heads and wave their hands and mumble “Oh, I just can’t think about that kind of stuff. If I worried about things like that, I could never leave my house!” and blah blah blah. They’re also the ones who can’t fathom owning a gun because they’re afraid they’d “accidentally” shoot themselves.
    There are a surprising amount of people in this country who refuse to entertain the notion that there is bad stuff out there waiting to happen. And those people will fall in line behind anyone, ANYONE who offers to take care of that entertaining for them. God forbid when something bad actually does happen, because then they fall even MORE in line behind those that profess to protect them.

    Reply
  10. If I were Beretta’s legal department, I would sue the pants off of Illinois State Police. Not sure if it would stick, but hell throw everything at them. Copyright infringement, trademark infringement, defamation, whatever. Fire a massive legal FU across their bow for using the silhouette of a 90 series pistol. Hell, Taurus could join the suit.

    Reply
  11. “ideologically extreme, disdainful of compromise”

    Check. No rest until total freedom to keep and bear arms is achieved. Also, your version of compromise involves us incrementally giving up our firearm freedoms while we get absolutely jack shit in return.

    “and incapable of critical, long-term thinking.”

    Negative f*ck stick. Long term thinking is exactly what the RKBA is all about. The idea that th world will melt into a buttery utopia by removing guns from civilian hands demonstrates YOUR complete inability to think of the long-term. Nations are fluid and prone to change and I am not talking about the good kind. They have also claimed a thousand times more lives than civilians have over the course of history.

    So you’ll forgive me if I dismiss you outright as a naive ideologue and a brainless moron. FOAD. I hope you become the unarmed victim of a home invasion.

    Reply
  12. Too bad you’re not in NH, I don’t have access to the pig, but the rest of the stuff is easy.

    What kind of ammo is ONLY good in a remington 870?

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  13. Ha!
    I’ve still got my Motorola brick. May be worth something years from now.
    I’m not that tempted on the rifle. Burris makes the eliminator for those ballistically challenged.
    Streaming? My day/night gen 3 night vision streams to my recorder for filming those cool yodel dog shots. and I’m into it for way less than this.
    Guess I like the challenge and the confidence that regular shooting gives me.

    Reply
  14. Y’know, I’ve a history of making and playing with interesting weapons.

    Mayhap I’ll take a hand at making something akin to one o’ these…

    Reply

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