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Five years ago, when Dan the Man first joined the TTAG team, we ran a pic of a guy with twin gun tats pointing at his privates. As is the way of the Internet, the image went viral. And with that, The Truth About Guns broke into the big time. In celebration of that blessed day, I offer the video below: 50 Gun Tattoos for Men. As a Jew . . .

My religion prohibits me from getting inked. As I’m going to be cremated and have my remains fired out of a shotgun, thanks to Holy Smoke (which now offers their service in rifle and pistol calibers), I’m not really worried about the fact that some Jewish cemeteries won’t bury tattooed Jews.

If I were to get inked, I’d go for “Never Again.” But nowhere near my privates, as prescient as that may be. Just sayin’ . . .

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  1. “As I’m going to be cremated and have my remains fired out of a shotgun…”

    Why not ask Nick to dump you out over the Gulf of Mexico from his flying machine?

    (*After* cremation, that is. Or, *maybe* before, for a real after-life adventure…)

    • With the way commercial space flight is advancing, I’m betting that in 10-15 years, space burial will be a relatively affordable option. I would go for the deep space option, with a capsule of my ashes destined to travel across the galaxy, and boldly go where no remains have gone before.

      • ” I would go for the deep space option, with a capsule of my ashes destined to travel across the galaxy, and boldly go where no remains have gone before.”

        I’ve considered that, but I want more of me spread more broadly.

        If your ashes are launched into the sun, you will never get there, the solar corona is like 10 million degrees. That will ionize your cremains, and make you a part of the solar wind, blown into interstellar space, and maybe one day some of you gets caught in a collapsing gas cloud that ignites into a star, Then you get to be a part of the spectrum of that star, meaning the light that once you you will travel in all directions for billions of years.

        So, no, I don’t want SpaceX to burn me up in earth’s atmosphere, I want the chance to one day for a tiny bit of me see *all* of the universe as a few photons of a specific color of light…

  2. I don’t do tats. My lily white skin is unmarred except for a few scars.

    Once I’m dead? Who gives a fig. Soylent Green might be the way to go.

  3. Once you get inked it’s either something you won’t do again or it becomes a bit of an addiction. That’s my experience.

    For those who fall into the latter category, the fact that society is much more accepting of tattoos than it was even just 10 years ago is a big plus. Back then I only got tattoos that could be covered by a t-shirt and pants. These days no one cares so I got my forearm done.

    • You’re probably right about the never-ending acquisition of more ink once one starts…
      I was going to show y’all the Sturm Ruger & Co. logo tattooed on me but I
      1. couldn’t figure out how to add the pic to this comment.
      2. it might have been censored as “flaming” or simply NSFW.

      • Put it up on an anonymous image sharing website and post the link.

        If it’s NSFW people have already been warned and clicking the link is their issue.

      • An honest question, not a flame … Why would you want to be a billboard for someone else’s product or service? I understand you like Ruger, but, seriously, are they paying you for the marketing? (I have the same thoughts about bicyclists, it’s not just tattoos.)

        • Always an interesting question. Identification and tribalism are two things humans are pretty hard wired for. Until the advent of consumerism, you were pretty limited to place, race, sex, class, and religion (I’m sure I’m leaving something out). Right, wrong, or indifferent we have replaced those with products, many of which indicate social status.

          Tats, of course, have their own psychology and sociological drivers. Interesting reading, though I do enjoy doing field research…

          I’ve been fortunate to seldom have to actually buy brand wear, but I do always come back to that essential question – Wait, you want me to pay to advertise for you?

        • Don’t get me started on excessive logos on clothing and merchandise these days. I could rant for pages. It’s hard to even find decent sunglasses anymore without a stupid lens logo in your field of view.

    • Actually, there are many who still care. I, for one, do not care to date a woman covered in tats no matter what the subject. I do not understand the desire to cover a beautiful body in ink. The art looks great… today. Don’t any of them think ahead about what those inks will look like as the muscle tone fades?

      • Usually people get tattoos for themselves not for other people. Just because you can see it doesn’t mean they got it to obtain your approval/disapproval.

        How it looks when your old and all your skin looks like shit… Who cares? I’d personally suggest that such thoughts are a reflection on the person having them being shallow and nothing more than that.

      • Obviously that’s very subjective… personally, I find that some ink can enhance an already beautiful body, making it even more appealing. Just like makeup and jewelry, when done tastefully they augment the existing beauty, making the whole greater than the sum of its parts.

        I recently started seeing a woman with several nice tats on her arms, and her chest is completely covered… and I can’t wait to see what I’m missing! There’s gotta be more ink under her clothes, and knowing that is definitely increasing the anticipation for me!

        As for how they will look when we get old… have you stopped to consider what the rest of your skin and body will look like by then? Twon’t be any prettier than the tats, I’m sure of that!

      • Like you said, there are *some* people who do care. I personally find good quality tattoos attractive, and if left to my own devices I’d have a significant number of them. My wife is not as enthusiastic about them as I am so we reached the agreement that I’ll just get a few of the more interesting/unique ones done. So I’ll have a quarter sleeve on my right arm, a small piece on my left arm, and one from my ankle to my knee.

        Although I must say I’m sad that she vetoed the pinup cowgirl with twin Colts that I was going to get on my ribs….

  4. There were some pretty neat Tate’s in that video. A few sad ones (lost war buddies)
    And some really fugly ones.
    No ink on me yet. All three of the kids do and so does the wife.

  5. Hmm. Maybe you can find someone to load you into something more exciting, like a Howitzer. Or make 2k rounds out of you and run you through a mini-gun.

  6. “As a Jew . . . My religion prohibits me from getting inked.”

    When I was a kid growing up in The Bronx, I saw many Jews with tattoos. They started with “A” and ended in a series of numbers. I remember asking my neighbor what her tattoo meant. She said it was Hitler’s phone number.

    • Oh geez.
      I kinda snorted, then I remembered a nice elderly woman with a similar tattoo.

    • I was at a pharmacy on West Colfax in Denver. 18 years old, in a hurry, wanted my Marlboros. Behind some old woman reaching in her purse for exact change, can’t talk and look at the same time, you know. Slow. I was rolling my eyes when they rolled over the thin, faded blue ink on her forearm. I was stunned. And embarrassed.

      You know that us OFWGs are the last generation to have seen those, right? Kids today – they don’t really “believe” it. And the alt-right neo-Nazi FLAME DELETEDs, they don’t get it.

  7. Oy vey, boychik. You won’t get a tattoo – but you want to be cremated? You’d better check your mitzvahs first. Cremation is as forbidden to Jews as tattoos are. Ask your rabbi.

    • Jews follow whatever rules they want, just like most Christians and Muslims do. Have you not noticed the massive amount of gay Jews and Christians, or Muslims who rape boys and drink alcohol? Just accept the fact that everyone’s going to Hell.

      • Not Miley B., baby! He’s sure he’s going to heaven given how much money he’s tossed at things like cup size limits, gun control and the like.

      • Muslim men will rape pretty much anything that moves, or is at least still warm. All in the EU that let these primitive peoples invade are learning this rather quickly. Despite the press for ‘The dancing boys of A-Stan’, Muslim men are also allowed to “thigh” pretty anything older than age one, the “prophet” horny-warlord-pedophile consummated with one of his wives (Aisha) when she was 9, pretty much anything they do to ‘infidel’ women is perfectly fine. Did I mention that psycho Mohammed was a nutty rapist warlord?

        Read the Quran folks. It’s more perverse and insane than the OT. Even scarier, it has adherents that are so mentally deficient that they actually try to follow the horse manure on those pages, not just realize they are scribblings of a madman, who’s BS “religion” was rejected by even the Jews, so he took it as an excuse to rape, pillage, and plunder.

  8. Haha you’re so funny Robert. I love reading this blog.. Atleast the non-political stuff.

  9. Best gun themed ink I’ve seen was a 31 with a belt of 7.62 going up one leg to his crotch, then brass and links falling down the other.

    • I guess he wasn’t man enough to do a Ma Deuce?

      The best reason to get a tattoo is so when your spouse gets asked “Any scars, tattoos, identifying marks” they can answer “Yes”.

  10. Did anyone notice the “anti-gun” tat? The one with the barrel in a knot.

    On a personal note, RF, when my aging Dad told me that he wanted to be cremated, I was shocked. My sister and I had already bought a plot in a Jewish cemetery. We found out that they interred cremains. We were surprised at that.

  11. My various quasi-religious affinities and apostacies are mostly, at first glance against it. Testimony of Simplicity for instance. Catholicism is an exception, but that’s the one I’m most recalcitrant toward 😛

    This has affected my behavior. No sincere or heady tattoos like a skeleton hand around a musket w/ 13 star flag or sommin’ li’ dat. It’s redundent, can lead to mental rigidity. On the same note, no cultural misappropriation. Must have the right level if meaning and empty aesthetic.

  12. Lot’s of secular Israeli’s have tattoos, piercings, etc. I’m not into it myself. I have commitment issues.

    • “If a man lies with a male as with a women, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives.” (Leviticus 20:13)

      A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortuneteller shall be put to death by stoning; they have no one but themselves to blame for their death. (Leviticus 20:27)

      All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense. (Leviticus 20:9)

      If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10)

      A priest’s daughter who loses her honor by committing fornication and thereby dishonors her father also, shall be burned to death. (Leviticus 21:9)

      So, you’re cool with all that too, right?

      • Oh boy, it’s the Old Testament. Get ready for rationalizations referring to “context” and the employment of situational ethics…

  13. Your are very mistaken about not being buried in Jewish cemetery due to having a tattoo. Do you think that those who were in the camps would be denied burial due to their tattoos? I assure you (as an orthodox rabbi), there is nothing in the Halacha (Jewish law) that say that a person with a tattoo can not be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
    Frankly the bigger issue, halachaly, is you wanting to be creamated. Seems a little disrespectful to our brothers and sisters murdered in the camps. Also that IS very specifically forbidden by Jewish law. Howerever, as you have freedom of choice, it your decision. I just thought you should be aware of the real religious issues as you brought it up.

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