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In the video below a brazen Boyton Beach bad guy burglarizes a bungalow of a Breitling and a bevy of ballistic baubles. (Well, not baubles per se, but alliteration is a cruel mistress.) And he does so with a couple of wiener dogs (or similar) scrambling about. What does that tell you? It tells me . . .

what I already know: small dogs, small deterrent.

Still, Maggie and Rosie Von Schnauzer bark up a storm — as they were bred to do — whenever anyone enters the premises. No matter how many times they’ve seen the “interloper” before (#goldfishattentionspan).

Of course, there’s zero percent chance that my neighbors will respond to the sound of barking Schnau, and a 100 percent chance the girls will eventually chill. Especially if there are treats in the offing.

Bottom line: happiness is a warm puppy. Security is a (well-trained) big dog, a good alarm system, a stout gun safe, observant neighbors, secure doors and windows and . . . a cold gun. That hopefully doesn’t need to warm-up.

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    • One does not “trade up” a family member. You may, however, add to the family!
      The most useful thing my (5) dogs do to defend my home is let me know when someone is at the door or simply near the house. Living prowler alarms, as it were. But what I do about the alarm is my call.

    • GSD’s, Rotties, Dobies, et al wouldn’t phase me a bit unless they were Sch-III level of training. I dealt with GSD’s all the time on my paper routes as a kid. Nice dogs. They might alarm, but they’re not naturally aggressive. They’re also not large enough to stop a large man. I had to kill a couple of Dobies with nothing but my hands and feet that were set on me by a dope dealer who didn’t like me cancelling his paper subscription for non-payment. They’re also not what they’re cracked up to be.

      If you really want to stop an intruder, you need a dog in the 125 to 200 pound weight class, and hip-high (29″+ at the shoulder), and it needs to be ruthlessly territorial. In other words, the dog’s default response to people coming into your home is hostility and attack, until and unless you say “This is Joe – Joe is OK.”

      Get a large, aggressive LGD and you’ll come home to an intruder bleeding out on your floor or barricaded into a corner, standing on furniture. LGD’s have been bred for hundreds to over 1,000 years to take on wolves, bears and cats that prey on livestock. A human intruder is a piece of cake by comparison.

  1. Dogs that bounce when they bark are worthless. To deter an addict you need something scarier than his habit. A gorilla. A lion. My ex mother in law.

    Something that’s dangerous as well as loud.

    • Mine bounces off the front door when she barks. The door creaks and groans.
      After she put on a demonstration for a friend who came knocking, I asked him if, assuming she was making those noises from her cage instead of the front door if he’d be inclined to investigate far enough to figure out she was caged, and he said “Hell, no, I’d be gone as soon as the barking started”.

    • Damn… Guess I’m SOL. No dogs, and my ex mother-in-law would just let them in the house, after having already raided the medicine cabinet & drank all the booze.

  2. The sex robots of the future will do a better job of stopping burglars than those tiny noise makers. Tiny dogs will become obsolete and will have to fend for themselves!

  3. All dogs = early warning. Big dogs, big mouth, big bite = deterrent. Even stupid criminals don’t want their stupid ass bitten.
    I have four dogs. They tell me what I want to know and then I’ll take care of the rest as needed.

  4. Nick Offerman’s character, Ron Swanson, in the excellent sitcom Parks and Recreation: “Then get yourself a real dog. Any dog under 40 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless”

    (yes, I am a shameless dog person)

  5. We have two dogs. Our small one will draw blood before you see him coming. The big one only attacks when her people are threatened.

    Neither really bark at anyone

  6. I’m waiting for Taurus to make a pistol that is ergonomically shaped for a dog’s mouth. Call it the Vel-Dog for ironic pleasure.

  7. I was talking with people “in the know” and what they’ve been telling me is that douchebags have been filling spray bottles with bleach when they enter houses with dogs. They spray it in the dog’s eyes and ransack. Lots of dogs have had to be put down because of this, even police dogs. Fido is only a deterrent.

    • If I were going to break into a home that had dogs, I would either bring a firearm or a steel pipe which I would use to promptly dispatch any attacking dogs. I have no reason to believe that actual burglars would do anything different.

      I believe dogs can be an excellent supplemental alarm system. I do not believe dogs are a dependable line of defense for the reason that I stated in my first paragraph above.

  8. I dunno…. my best friend’s family had a chihuahua/terrier/snakehead mix named Bobo. He had beady little hate-filled fish eyes, a head that was all mouth (filled with far too many teeth), and a honey badger’s disposition.

    He never barked; because he was either silently waiting for target acquisition, or couldn’t with a locked jaw.

    But with the family, he was a meek little hamster-dog…. who waited until they’d leave the room and start inching closer to a visiting ankle.

    But we have cats who did’t need training to try murdering anyone walking around after lights-out.

  9. Female dogs are more territorial than males and much more likely to defend their home.
    Male dogs, like male humans, are easily neutralized by good food or a female in heat.

  10. Had GSD and large Golden Retriever(both males but neutered)
    When it gets cold, lock bolt was not set, front door would swing slightly open. Neighbor next door noticed it and started to come up the walkway to let me know. Before he could get to front door, both dogs were out. San, the shepherd was busy sniffing my car tires to see where I’d been!
    However Bob, big red Golden Retriever, growls at neighbor, like “don’t you take one more step or I’ll have to mess you and your little dog, up!
    Got both dogs back in the house with door firmly shut. Thanked my neighbor “Thank you for letting me know, will get the lock fixed . He smiled and “no need to hurry, as long as you have Bob, for security duty”

    German Shepherds can be back up but Golden Retriever big males are best at intimidating. Got Bob as a 12 week old puppy and we were his 3rd home! First home was a gift from a young man for his girlfriend, she placed him with a family lived in a house that was on Lake Travis, he was caught stealing tennis balls that were in play. We ended up taking him as a family member and brought him tennis balls by the dozens. Great dog, would retrieve tennis balls until he dropped if we let him.
    In summer months had to limit time. To make it still fun, we would throw tennis balls off the deck into a bucket of water. His record was 4 tennis balls in his mouth at a time.

    I know this was off topic but it sure brought back good memories of a lovely Golden Retriever who lived to 13 years ?

  11. I’m sorta curious what Cricket and Rugby world do if someone they didn’t know came into our home, both are purebred bullmastiffs. They combine for 225 lbs.

  12. Like with guns, why just go with one dog? Get a couple of “assault dogs” like shepards, pits, and malinois. Then get one or two hunting dogs like a hound or lab. Then of course something to eat small critters and stir up the big dogs like wiener dogs or schnauzers.

  13. I have a female Siberian Husky who is about a hundred pounds. She is a very chill Dog who loves people (especially small children), and is definitely “not” an aggressive attack Dog. She’s all white and has piercing blue eyes, and for some reason people seem to be initially scared of her even though she is definitely non-threatening and very friendly. Would she become aggressive with someone she doesn’t know that’s breaking into my house? I really don’t think so, but since that has never happened, I can’t say for sure. She may surprise me if it ever happened.

    She does however have monumental hearing and becomes very alert to sounds outside my home. Sounds that I do not hear. Occasionally at night when I’m asleep, she will start pacing around the room, go out into the rest of the house, then come back into the bedroom and push against my side of the bed. It’s never led to me seeing or hearing anyone outside my home, but definitely know that if there was someone creeping around outside, she’d without a doubt give me a heads up before they actually attempted a break in. That would give me a little extra time to get armed and be ready for whatever might come.

  14. This is why I have a rabbit for home defense.

    Oh, it’s no *ordinary* rabbit, mind you. It’s the most foul, cruel,and bad-tempered rodent you’ll ever set eyes on!

  15. Small dogs are good as alarms only. If you are asleep and they wake up and start making a rukus, there is a reason. It could be that racoon or possum is back, but if it continues, you know there is something wrong, you should already be up with gun ready.

  16. Jesus, “31 Responses” but only one single post remains on this thread ?

    Who did Shlomo Faragostein hire as his IT guy, a f**king chimp ?

  17. If they had been LEOs, they would have shot and killed those “dangerous” dogs, because they were “attacked” and “feared for their lives”. Don’t laugh…it’s happened…dachshunds, Corgis, other small dogs killed right in front of their owners by “fearful” LEOs, sometimes in front of the owner’s children.
    When I was younger, police were not known for routinely and wantonly killing people’s pets. Now it’s accepted within LEO circles as standard practice. Even if it’s the wrong address or the LEO is inside a fenced yard or even if the pet is tied up. Yes, the dogs are barking, threatening, and sometimes charging. But that’s what dogs do…protect their territory. Somehow USPS mail carriers, UPS & FedEx delivery drivers, and others deal with dogs without killing them. Pepper spray works, as does just a common stick, as would a LEO baton. Dog murder by cop needs to stop.

    • I read an article were a cop shot someone’s pet pig. It was a little cute pink pig and the cowardly pig shot the four legged pig. It was a sad and true story.

  18. I live in Boynton Beach and my side of the tracks is a good neighborhood
    The west side is a minority Haitian area
    We are safe from crime, yet I have a 50 pound Schnauzer, Zues, who will bite
    Also an alarm system and a wife and kids who know where the loaded guns are hidden downstairs and upstairs
    And know how to use them

  19. He wore his hood the entire time he was inside? 40 minutes according to the homeowner. Did he know there was a security camera? Sounds like an inside job. Maybe one of his grandkids tipped him off.

  20. so no mop handle in the sliding glass door? new title how $1 worth of security could have kept guns off the street.

  21. Any dog of any size, unless specifically trained to attack people on sight, is of no use as a burglar deterrent. How many people do you know with family pets that are trained to attack people without any commands from their owners? I’m betting zero. And before you try to say that a barking dog is a good security system in the sense that it alerts others to the burglars presence. That’s total BS. All a dog that barks at everything is good for is annoying your neighbors.

    I own a 120lb Newfoundland, and she’s an awesome companion, but I’m under no illusion that she’d be of any help whatsoever if a burglar broke into my home.

    • I have known some 20 lb dachshunds that would attach themselves to your leg until killed or pried off, or drop kicked into the next yard.

    • There is a huge difference between breeds and between lines within breeds. We have Rottweilers. We’ve always had more than one – braver that way. Not only are they a guard dog breed, but they are a barrel chested breed, so they have a deep, threatening bark. And their growl will set your hair on end. Of course, guard dog breeds, like Rottweilers, Cane Corso, Dogo Argentino, etc, are a double edged sword. Raise and train them properly and you have a faithful guardian that will give it’s life to protect you or your kids. Raise them wrong and don’t train them and they might kill you or your kids. We had a beautiful male Rotti that weighed over a 110lbs (and not fat). We thought about becoming breeders, but decided since we could not be sure how people would raise the puppies, we neutered him. Some of the dogs out of the same litter he came out of were out of control and downright dangerous. If you are not willing to learn how and then properly train a guard dog breed, don’t get one!
      But Max is correct about size. A big dog might be intimidating in appearance, but may be more likely to lick an intruder than defend the homestead. But a big dog has a big bark, and that might be all it takes.

  22. Guy was robbed months before, he has $45k of jewelry in the house, he has the cameras.

    Hey MORON, get an alarm and a safe.

    • Faragostein will eventually abandon TTAG like he did his previous TTAC.
      Perhaps his next internet adventure will be called TTAH ( The Truth About Hypnosis ) since he’s already dabbled in such quackery.

      Exploitation of a niche for clicks, but it allows him to enjoy a high standard of living.

  23. I feel like this post is trying to start another caliber war…

    “A Dachshund bites the body but a Doberman bites the soul.”


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