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Last week’s winner: James69. If you’d like a brand spanking new Black Arch holster for your gun, enter the best caption for this photo by Sunday midnight. Go.


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  1. Captured here is the fateful moment that the mother of James T. Kirk first noticed her future husband’s dreamy tapered sideburns at the academy phaser range.

    Starfleet Historical Archives, Section 24561

  2. “Donna, could you give me a hand? They borrowed this trigger from the H&K VP70 and I lack the upper body strength.”

  3. And for your birthday we’ll make it all tacticool with Houge tamer grips, Surefire flashlight, and the shoulder thing that goes up

  4. During her first year at the starfleet academy Janice Kirk realized that men had a career advantage. So on her first leave she scheduled a procedure with a young “Bones” McCoy and became James T. Kirk.

  5. Sorry Love, you can’t shoot me or anyone else, that’s a smart gun, and you’re not wearing your RFID ring.

  6. “Jim do you want to take me here, in the turbolift, or when we get back to your quarters? Or you could get some little blue pills from Dr. McCoy and we could really have a party.”

  7. Mean while….kirks brother….on a closed holodeck.

    Jim dear? What was that old saying they used to say in the old earth army?
    Oh yes veronica. Why it went….”this is my weapon and this is my gun!
    Veronica says…”computer?…lights dim 90%.
    Go on jim….next is my favorite part.
    Oh Veronica!

  8. “then Daddy said, careful honey, this has a New New York trigger. And, well, that’s how come Leela has one eye…”

  9. “No, let’s try this again. I was clearly referring to American history…and I said “Reagan”….not ray-gun!”

    • My “other pistol” is actually a gun. And no, you can’t tr it because for some reason there’s no zipper in these onesies to allow access to its holster.

  10. See. It jams after the third pew. Every time. This is what happens when we let Mattel build our space gun thingies.

  11. Science fiction, double feature
    Doctor X will build a creature
    See androids fighting Brad and Janet
    Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

  12. ” I wonder if he realizes just how stupid he looks in that suit plus his pants tucked in his boots”

  13. “Sweetie, remember how much easier your life got with a dish washer, vacuum cleaner, the washing machine, clothes dryer and that crazy “massage glove” I got at the “specialty” shop? Well, this is a “sandwich gun”…”

  14. This is billiards in space… You don’t stroke the cue, you squeeze this and the balls will go in the holes!

  15. Flash, relax, Hillary and I only made out without our clothes on, really, next time you can watch, I swear.

  16. “Honey, this IS Star Trek, and you ARE wearing a red uniform… Maybe you should just give me the phaser before you become another statistic”

  17. The first law is every gun is always fully charged. The second law is never point the gun at anything you don’t want to de-molecularize….

  18. I don’t care that is is set to stun with the safety on, trigger discipline Jim we are running out of red shirts with out holes in their uniforms.

  19. Hillary please your out of…CONTROL. It’s simply a gift from my intern, it…IS otherwise known as a BLOW…gun.


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