Black Arch Holsters Weekend Photo Caption Contest


Last week’s winner: James69. If you’d like a brand spanking new Black Arch holster for your gun, enter the best caption for this photo by Sunday midnight. Go.



  1. avatar Higgs says:

    Honey, if we shoot all the protesters who will work at the fast food restaurants?

  2. avatar FormerWaterWalker says:

    Here’s how HANDLE my raygun baby!

  3. avatar Higgs says:

    Your still limp writsing your gun……..

  4. avatar RatInDaHat says:

    “Rocky, stop mansplaining!”

  5. avatar John L. says:

    No, it doesn’t go as low as 40 watts…

  6. avatar jwm says:

    It’s best to have 2 people when you shoot a noisy cricket.

  7. avatar Brad says:

    Pull the trigger once and you too can claim PTSD for life!

  8. avatar Frank in VA says:

    Captured here is the fateful moment that the mother of James T. Kirk first noticed her future husband’s dreamy tapered sideburns at the academy phaser range.

    Starfleet Historical Archives, Section 24561

  9. avatar Shawn Graber says:

    “Donna, could you give me a hand? They borrowed this trigger from the H&K VP70 and I lack the upper body strength.”

  10. avatar TXDuallyDog says:

    ” Don’t look at me , look at the target “

  11. avatar DrewR55 says:

    “What do you mean that because I am a girl a revolver would be a better choice?”

  12. avatar Jim says:

    And for your birthday we’ll make it all tacticool with Houge tamer grips, Surefire flashlight, and the shoulder thing that goes up

  13. avatar Flynn says:

    That look you have when Bae tries to grab the gun, but you’re a better shot than him.

  14. avatar Slimjim9 says:

    when you’re fighting the Gorgonites, whatever you do, *don’t* look where you shoot.

  15. avatar jwm says:

    During her first year at the starfleet academy Janice Kirk realized that men had a career advantage. So on her first leave she scheduled a procedure with a young “Bones” McCoy and became James T. Kirk.

  16. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Sorry Love, you can’t shoot me or anyone else, that’s a smart gun, and you’re not wearing your RFID ring.

  17. avatar James says:

    This phaser isn’t the only thing set to stun baby!

  18. avatar A A Rod says:

    Let’s ask the alien about a threesome before you shoot it.

  19. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Jim do you want to take me here, in the turbolift, or when we get back to your quarters? Or you could get some little blue pills from Dr. McCoy and we could really have a party.”

  20. avatar Priest of the center mass says:

    Mean while….kirks brother….on a closed holodeck.

    Jim dear? What was that old saying they used to say in the old earth army?
    Oh yes veronica. Why it went….”this is my weapon and this is my gun!
    Veronica says…”computer?…lights dim 90%.
    Go on jim….next is my favorite part.
    Oh Veronica!

  21. avatar John L. says:

    “then Daddy said, careful honey, this has a New New York trigger. And, well, that’s how come Leela has one eye…”

  22. avatar blues says:

    “No, let’s try this again. I was clearly referring to American history…and I said “Reagan”….not ray-gun!”

  23. avatar pieslapper says:

    “No yeoman Rand, grip it like this. Oh yeah baby, that’s it…mmmm…”

  24. avatar Ralph says:

    No, honey, you can’t shoot an alien with my curling iron.

  25. avatar MikeF says:

    But Bill, Trump is right around that corner. Besides, the FBI is looking the other way!

  26. avatar Trollin says:

    now let’s try you’re “other” pistol

    1. avatar Cliff H says:

      My “other pistol” is actually a gun. And no, you can’t tr it because for some reason there’s no zipper in these onesies to allow access to its holster.

  27. avatar jwm says:

    See. It jams after the third pew. Every time. This is what happens when we let Mattel build our space gun thingies.

  28. avatar James69 says:

    Did I win a holster??

    1. avatar James69 says:

      Just saw the email! Yipppeeee!!!! Now, I have to buy a semi-auto. 🙂 Thanks Guys!

      1. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

        two weeks in a row!

  29. avatar anaxis says:

    Here we see Zap Brannigan’s dad, Zot, being talked out of stun-gunning his 8th ex-wife….

  30. avatar Penetty says:

    Science fiction, double feature
    Doctor X will build a creature
    See androids fighting Brad and Janet
    Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

  31. avatar d54 says:

    as they continued there training Jill couldn’t help but notice a booger on jack’s nose

  32. avatar TXDuallyDog says:

    ” I wonder if he realizes just how stupid he looks in that suit plus his pants tucked in his boots”

  33. avatar strych9 says:

    “Sweetie, remember how much easier your life got with a dish washer, vacuum cleaner, the washing machine, clothes dryer and that crazy “massage glove” I got at the “specialty” shop? Well, this is a “sandwich gun”…”

  34. avatar Gregolas says:

    “When I said the modern method was to shoot with two hands, Honey, I meant both of YOUR hands !”

  35. avatar Gregolas says:

    The solar system’s smallest crew-served weapon.

  36. avatar TXDuallyDog says:

    “Oh please, don’t Jim ,don’t shoot him ! He’s not laughing at your suit “

  37. avatar James69 says:

    300 years and Remington is still building crap! Dammit!

  38. avatar SelousX says:

    No sweetie, don’t shoot! That’s just J. Edgar Hoover in drag.

  39. avatar tmm says:

    He’s dead, Jim.

  40. avatar Will says:

    This is billiards in space… You don’t stroke the cue, you squeeze this and the balls will go in the holes!

  41. avatar I1ULUZ says:

    Flash, relax, Hillary and I only made out without our clothes on, really, next time you can watch, I swear.

  42. avatar jsb646 says:

    “Honey, this IS Star Trek, and you ARE wearing a red uniform… Maybe you should just give me the phaser before you become another statistic”

  43. avatar Andy says:

    Are you SURE that’s where your other hand is supposed to go Jack?

  44. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    The first law is every gun is always fully charged. The second law is never point the gun at anything you don’t want to de-molecularize….

  45. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “no, no he’s right. it is a ‘cross your heart’ bra. love your garanimals.”

  46. avatar Missouri Mule says:

    “Don’t worry, I’ve got your six honey”

  47. avatar Von says:

    Blasted Space Command! Fashion uniforms with no holster for the ray-gun!

  48. avatar Mercutio says:

    I swear,Fred, you steal my eye liner one more time and I WILL zap you.

  49. avatar Darkwing says:

    Get you hand off my ass or I will take the Ray Gun use it on you.

  50. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Jim, is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

  51. avatar alex Lyon says:

    I don’t care that is is set to stun with the safety on, trigger discipline Jim we are running out of red shirts with out holes in their uniforms.

  52. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Joyce put the phaser away! I swear I didn’t sleep with the green chick from the bar.”

  53. avatar jwm says:

    I see Hugo Boss did time in Hollywood.

  54. avatar jwm says:

    “Why are you waving my hair dryer around?”

  55. avatar ed says:

    Firsrt you point the blaster like this, then give your enemy a menicing sidways glance, then let them have it!

  56. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Wow Bill, from this distance I can barely tell you’re wearing a toupee!”

  57. avatar jwm says:

    “Um, honey, I think you got that out of the wrong dresser drawer. It’s not a raygun.”

  58. avatar bolero says:

    “Shannon Watts demonstrates the use of a smart gun to MDA donor Shepard Smith of Fox News.”

  59. avatar jimmy james says:

    You have to hold it sideways to look “gangsta”.

  60. avatar Great Lakes says:

    Hillary please your out of…CONTROL. It’s simply a gift from my intern, it…IS otherwise known as a BLOW…gun.

    1. avatar Great Lakes says:

      (REDO, I over thought it) Hillary please your out of…CONTROL. It really…IS just a BLOW…gun.

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