ATF: Celebrate Valentine’s Day by Turning in Your Ex!

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If you’re struggling with how best to commemorate the greeting card industry’s biggest day of the year, our friends at the ATF have an idea targeted specifically at those of you with a bad breakup or two in your past. Why not celebrate the day by going all Stasi on that ex who done you wrong?

ATF recognizes that not everyone lives in a state with a red flag law on the books. Californians, New Yorkers, Floridians, and residents of the other 19 states that have enacted due-process-free firearms confiscation laws can concoct a bogus claim against an ex against whom they have a grudge. But the aggrieved in the other 31 states are out in the cold.

Not a problem. The ATF wants you to know that, like the FBI, they’re a national organization. That means anyone who wants to afflict an ex with legal hassles and inconveniences — justified or not —  up to and possibly including being shot to death, doesn’t have to resort to using local police to SWAT them. They can simply use the services of the ATF no matter where they happen to live.

This is only the latest and most nauseating move the firearms regulatory agency has made under the Biden Administration. Leave aside its conduct surrounding Hunter Biden’s illegal gun and slow-walking FOIA requests surrounding the matter, concocting new rules to circumvent the legislative process, or raiding legal businesses and seizing their records to go after buyers of lawful products.

You’d think an agency with as poor a record of complying with the law itself might keep a lower profile. Apparently not.

If you’re wondering what we mean, whatever you do, don’t click on the tweet above and don’t read very many of the over 4,000 responses the agency has gotten, many of which involve performing physically challenging acts involving a variety of body parts and orifices.

And whatever you do, don’t Google terms like . . .

Fast & Furious
ATF Waco David Koresh
ATF Randy Weaver
ATF Gunwalking
ATF Cigarette Sting
ATF Hunter Biden
ATF Law Enforcement Availability Pay
ATF Milwaukee Storefront
ATF Good Ol’ Boys Roundup
ATF Failures Jaime Zapata

We hope each and everyone at ATF — especially the agency’s PR geniuses and marketing mavens — has a happy and a healthy Valentine’s Day.



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    • Good thing I’m with the same woman I came to the (high school) dance with long ago. I have no exes.

      • Pro-tip: large friend groups enable you to observe prospects and rule out the nasty ones (who get bitter enough about tiffs/breakups to report you to law enforcement out of spite) before getting involved with them.

        I applied that pro-tip to my life and, as a result, I don’t have to worry about any exes who would do anything like this article suggests.

  1. Because disgruntled exes are the most reliable sources of information all of a sudden? I would ask if the ATF is thinking this through, but we all know they aren’t thinking at all.

    • What about if your ex deals in tobacco sales without a license? Maybe sells some moonshine under the table? Maybe they have a stash of dynamite they are looking to unload on the black market? The BATFE cares about these too, right? Or just guns?

      • Stick with the things that matter. They want to know the breed of dog in your home, so they can plan accordingly to send 8, 12, or 30 agents in the stack.

    • And F-troop will take the WORD of a snitch as carved in stone and handed down from the heavens. So do other Leo’s.

    • east german secret police.

      he meant to say gestapo like he’s been trained to do, but the fact that communists have murdered 100,000,000 people (so far) made him forget the training.

      • I said what I meant. You defend the fascists because they Only murdered millions. When it comes to sick and evil they are equal. The left doesn’t even exist anymore. They were bought out by corporate billionaires and turned fascist. You’re engaged in a civil war against your own kind.

        But keep telling yourself that it’s them evil jooz that caused all the trouble.

        • Yes, your case is rested. You’ve been trained to think in that old right vs. left paradigm. It no longer exists. Communism is dead. Corporate billionaires finally wised up and simply bought the left. Even china is fascist now. They claim they’re communist but they are throwing a smoke screen.

          Guys like you and dacian the nazi and miner49er and chris mallory are on the same team. You just refuse to accept it.

      • Forget the Gestapo, they’ve all been dead for decades.

        According to the Republicans, the real threat is the Gazpacho Police!

        I heard they are some cold operators…

    • stasi – east german secret police charged with maintaining communist ruling class families power and control by crushing any resistance
      gru – soviet foreign espionage services charged with maintaining communist ruling class families power and control by subverting foreign nations
      atf – american firearms bureaucracy nominally under the control of congress but coming under the control of the same people that ran the stasi and gru

      • When I was in Germany during the reunification, the joke was that all the STASI had become taxi drivers.

        When you hailed a taxi on the Ku’dam, you didn’t need to tell him where you were going… They already knew.

  2. I have an ex who would “maybe” drop a dime on me. My life has turned out fairly well. Her’s not so much. She used to carry a revolver in her purse quite illegally…

  3. I love this!! I called the tip line, I told them I knew of a group of individuals engaged in obvious violations of Federal firearms laws, and publicly flouting it on a regular basis. There address is, 99 New York Avenue Northwest, Washington, DC., any help in shutting down this criminal enterprise would be greatly appreciated.

      • Well, rant7, I have no doubt that a lowlife like dacian is a “prohibited person”, but I don’t think that matters. dacian is far too stupid, inept, incompetent, uneducated, ignorant, and feckless to be a shooter. He’s just a big mouth, unattached to a functioning brain, playing online tough guy and parlor pink.

        He would be pathetic, if he weren’t so obnoxious.

        • avatar Geoff "A day without an obsessed, apparently brain-damaged and mentally-ill demented troll (who deserves to live in New Jersey) is like a day of warm sunshine" PR

          And did you have a big day pretending you you weren’t a piece of shit, peeegee? 😉

  4. I noticed the usual trolls are absent here. Must be burning up the phone lines and internet bandwidth.
    Get even with those you dislike or those who made you look foolish at some point in your life. Yep, that’s the ticket.

    • Dacian will find out that internet handles are not sufficient identifiers without actual names and addresses. So his comprehensive files on our postings are completely useless.

      • If you’re worried, get a ProtonMail (Swiss) email account to use for your online posting accounts. Use the name Maxine Waters and give her Congressional address for the email account owner of record. Open your account from a library or coffee house wifi using an old or borrowed laptop.

  5. Lol…yep

    Teach your people to be snitches. This just contributes to make everyone afraid of everyone. Just what we all need to cure mass depression, isolation, loneliness, and anxiety.


    • “You had to live—did live, from habit that became instinct—in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized.”

      ~1984, George Orwell (1949)

      Orwell never imagined image intensification and thermal night-vision technology. Nor, did he envision speech, facial recognition, smartphones and Apple Air Tags…a positive ID in seconds from databases containing millions of everyday people. Our modern Big Brother has more tools than Oceania ever imagined.

      • Yep, George Orwell the confirmed socialist knew exactly how dangerous the right wing authoritarians were.

        It is so entertaining to watch the right wing conservatives celebrate the wisdom of one of the most intelligent socialists who ever lived, thanks for the vote of support!

        • I’m pretty sure that today’s “right wing conservatives” celebrate Orwell because he spoke out against government overreach. You claiming to be of Orwell’s ilk is a farce. Big Daddy Government is the only religion you know

        • “Big Daddy Government is the only religion you know“

          You mean the conservative big daddy government that wants to tell me who I can marry, what clothes I must wear, how I should have sex, what plants I can grow in my backyard, what books me and my kids can read, etc.?

          No, I am pretty much opposed to that conservative big daddy government.

        • Tell me you’re living in the 80s without telling me you’re living in the 80s.

          You’re into the big daddy government that coordinates with media to tell them what news to report. That coordinates with social media to censor any voice you don’t approve of. That shuts down the economy except for the big business who’s paid them off. That coordinates with big tech to alter historical books digitally.

          You’re a clown, a hyper partisan hack, and a total hypocrite.

        • You wanna complain about government telling people what to wear? Maybe don’t force my kids to wear masks that don’t work

  6. I am waiting for the break up ATF from America government.

    Then we can call it an ex. An ex parasite.


  8. Most of my ex’s are dead and the few that are still alive don’t know anything. Life’s rough in the big city.

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