Zookeeper with Handcuffs: Everyday Carry Pocket Dump of the Day

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, we get the Colorado Zookeeper who carries handcuffs as part of his “Everyday Carry” ensemble.  Brought to us by Everyday Carry.

Yep.  Handcuffs.  We’re going to need a bigger blog to cover all the things that can go wrong with carrying (and using) handcuffs as a private citizen.

Kudos for carrying a CAT-T tourniquet (TQ) but here’s a pro-tip:  Take it out of the wrapper and stage it to its largest fitting.  You might need to self-apply one-handed to your thigh.  Over your shoe/boot.  And while you might be able to tear the wrapper with one’s teeth, remember you might be losing blood at the rate of over 120 nice squirts per minute.  Yeah, if the Pulse Nightclub killer is leaking, I’m not going to be in a big hurry to apply a TQ, but for most innocent folks, sooner is better.

He carries the 43X and a reload.  I don’t want to start GLOCK wars, but for a smidgen bigger and a couple tenths of an inch wider, you can carry the G19 with 15+1.  Maybe the 43X fills his need.

Prepared must have an old iPhone with a failing battery, because he carries enough charging gear for a platoon.  Oh well, his pockets, not mine.

And under “First Aid” he carries a lighter, Advil and some Purell.  Lord, let me not have Mr. Prepared working first aid on me if I spring a minor leak.  “Here, we’ll just cauterize it and it’ll be good,” he whispers in my ear.  After he handcuffs me so I won’t resist.

“We’ll even slip you a couple of Advil at no charge so you won’t feel a thing.”

Yeah, no thanks.

I’ve poked a little fun at him, but he carries the essentials:  gun, blade and light.  And a reload for extra credit.  He’s prepared with just that.  All the rest are just modern conveniences.

Anyone else want to make any observations (or poke some fun) about Mr. Prepared’s stuff?  Aside from not having a key for those cuffs.

 

comments

  1. avatar tmm says:

    Altoids and handcuffs?

    1. avatar Biatec says:

      It sounds sexier than it is.

    2. avatar arc says:

      Should carry zip ties, cuffs are easy to break once you know how to apply leverage on them.

      1. avatar Hannibal says:

        You think someone that can break cuffs can’t break zip ties? There are videos of little girls showing how to break zip ties.

        1. avatar Jr says:

          You get the extra thick 36″ long HVAC duct ones. Also keep them in a tool kit so they don’t look too suspicious…

        2. avatar merlin grayman says:

          those are walmart special zip ties.

    3. avatar Specialist38 says:

      The altoids tin is a first aid kit……..I got nothing on the handcuffs….just no.

    4. avatar Mack The Knife says:

      Chimpanzees

  2. avatar B.D. says:

    I questioned this carry 2 weeks ago. No response. Very questionable indeed.

  3. avatar Tim says:

    Jebus. My wife doesn’t carry that much crap.

    1. avatar SoCalJack says:

      Cargo pants/shorts are a man’s purse. This is the only way he can carry this amount of stuff. I wear Tru Spec cargo shorts. But how does zookeeper organize this stuff, there must be a belt with pouches, like Batman’s utility belt.

  4. avatar Hannibal says:

    Handcuffs are right up there with batons as a way to carry something that will get you into danger- legal and otherwise- the moment you try and actually use them.

    Do people think that they need to secure some guy who just tried to mug them? What are you going to do with your gun while you handcuff him? How much practice do you have handcuffing someone (I hope the answer is “a lot”)? What about someone who is fighting you? Do you know that it’s almost entirely impossible from a physical perspective to handcuff someone who is conscious but isn’t willing to be handcuffed (i.e. you have to make them give up through pain, exhaustion or by breaking them)? Do you know how to properly gauge and double-lock handcuffs under pressure or explain to the court why you caused nerve damage to someone who had given up? What about if he starts fighting when you give up your range advantage (i.e. a gun)? Do you know how long you can last in a fight? How about the guy you’re handcuffing? What about when he grabs your gun because you’re screwing around with handcuffs? What are the laws on citizen arrests in your state?

    Or, if you find yourself in a dangerous situation, you could use your gun to gain distance and escape it. Seems like a better idea than putting yourself in hand-to-hand range but I guess by carrying cuffs at least you’re always ready for a little BDSM.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Yup. Even when I worked as a cop, I never carried cuffs off duty.

  5. avatar strych9 says:

    First time I’ve seen an EDC posted with an Epi Pen. Thing’s almost as pricey as the gun. It would be seriously shitty to have allergies that bad.

    1. avatar Old Guy in Montana says:

      Yellow jackets and wasps are my nemesis…epinephrine is the go-to drug for anaphylaxis…carry it when I’m outside in summertime….sux, but it beats dying.

      When I was a Paramedic a couple of decades ago we purchased 10 ml vials* of 1:1000 adrenaline / epinephrine for $1.75, 1 CC syringe and needle added another $0.23 per dose…under $0.30 per administered dose (adult dose = 0.3 ml)…NOT $350+ like the bastards at Mylan charge.

      * 10 ml works out to 33 adult doses. Adult considered 30 kg+ body weight.

  6. avatar Dennis says:

    The handcuffs are for the chimpanzees.

    1. avatar Specialist38 says:

      Who are the chimpanzees gonna use them on.? And is that legal?

  7. avatar billy-bob says:

    What, no ball gag?

    1. avatar Sean G./The Rookie says:

      “Bring out the Gimp”

  8. avatar enuf says:

    This is not a “pocket dump”. Who the hell caries two USB chargers in their pocket?

    I disapprove of Glock always, but at least the essential self defense stuff is covered. The rest is just, well, far more than a pocket.

  9. avatar lefty says:

    How effective is The “Stop the Bleed” Wound Dressing?I’d pack one in my car and house….chainsaw and axe cuts aren’t pretty.If you’re alone,and sans cell phone…

  10. avatar lefty says:

    How effective would those cuffs be as a bludgeon and what about legal after incident consequences[ c/o of those parasitic lawyers/judges]?Bad enough if you bean someone with a D celled Maglite..or G.I. shovel

    1. avatar Barn Animal says:

      Hold both the cuffs together in your hand with middle pointed out from your fist, and punch with them like brass knuckles. (Don’t ask me how I know this). Poor choice though, considering there’s much better weapons available like, oh let’s say the gun.

  11. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Possible handcuff key between the epi pen and the sharpie.

    1. avatar daveinwyo says:

      Yes. Enlarged pic shows a cuff key. Those cuffs look more used than the gun?

  12. avatar FedUp says:

    Last time I called somebody a zookeeper, he worked under the Sgt at Arms at the House of Representatives.

    I called him an assistant zookeeper. He didn’t dispute my characterization.

  13. avatar JRager says:

    Zookeeper, is an alias commonly used as a job description for correctional deputies / officers, jailers, and Sheriff’s. Might explain the cuffs.

    1. avatar Hannibal says:

      hmm that might be the case, I always say I work for city sanitation…

  14. avatar Warlocc says:

    Everything about this bothers me.

  15. avatar Specialist38 says:

    Like the 43x….no to the cuffs.

    I guess purell is easier to carry than the antiseptic wash I keep in my truck.

    I just don’t see carrying all that charging stuff…..but I’m a Luddite..

  16. avatar txJM says:

    LOL at all the hand-wringers in here.

  17. avatar Buff cousin Elroy says:

    The altoids are treats for the penguins and the handcuffs are for the kangaroos, always gotta cuff the kangaroos… they punched the shit outta the last zookeeper. Those marsupials have a mean jab.

  18. avatar Dieter Redweik says:

    Seriously, all of that’s everyday ? Not buying it!
    Maybe on a hike or special outting. (Still minus the handcuffs) wow Good Lord, Where do I start? How about the flame? He’s obviously not a smoker or doesn’t need fire for anything important or he’d be carrying a bic or mini torch lighter. not the free one you get when you buy three packs of cigarettes or you grab it out of the junk drawer for the picture to show how prepared I am.
    Sanitizer ? Not on me but always one in my truck or close. Now All that electrical gear…. I can eliminate that real quick, it’s called charge your phone overnight while you’re sleeping dummy and you won’t need to keep a charger and cord stockpile on you. How many pew pews been put thru that pewer? that magazine don’t look scuffed or warn a bit. At least he put a hollow point on top of the other rounds. Unwrap the tourniquet and adjust it out and on the ready or leave it at home. A 2-foot piece of paracord makes a better set of handcuffs than those handcuffs and much smaller and lighter. Do I see five writing utensils? looks like two pens a permanent marker a pencil and a highlighter. Must be for the overly used notepad with no coffee stains wrinkles doodles and it’s been ironed , definitely not carried everyday. I’ll stop now

  19. avatar Bill says:

    “I don’t want to start GLOCK wars, but for a smidgen bigger and a couple tenths of an inch wider, you can carry the G19 with 15+1.”

    What is with the g19 circle jerk? Yes, for an extra 3/4 inch in length and quarter inch of width you can carry a duty size that’s much harder to conceal BUT it has 5 extra rounds that will come in handy in exactly .000009% of situations!

    1. avatar B.D. says:

      for LEO’s, I’d take the extra 5 rounds. Extra mag makes it 10. Odds go up with a badge, significantly.

    2. avatar Hannibal says:

      Much harder to conceal? Sort of depends what you’re wearing, doesn’t it? If I’m wearing a jacket it’s easy to conceal either way and there’s no reason not to go with another 5 rounds. But I won’t deride someone for choosing the more concealable gun if that’s what they’ll carry more.

  20. avatar Chris Mallory says:

    We are supposed to live under a system of delegated powers. If citizens have an issue carrying handcuffs, then government employees should have even more of an issue restraining citizens.

  21. avatar Username says:

    If he works at a zoo, maybe he’s had to cuff some of our simian cousins?

  22. avatar Ardent says:

    I’d say the zookeeper as euphemism for jailer might be apt. Possible alternative: the cuffs are for securing a particular door or something, perhaps locking the pistol into a car?

    As for all the haters, I realize it’s a game of sorts, but I carry more than that much stuff daily, and a bunch of people I know do too. In fact, around here, we look down on men with too little stuff in their pockets as being poorly prepared.

    1. avatar B.D. says:

      “Around here”

      lol. Where? I wear cargo pants and would not even be able to fit this much crap in my pockets without a utility belt – or tacticool fanny pouch. If he’s a LEO, then okay, kinda makes sense… but no handcuff holder, extra mag pouch, TQ still in a plastic bag – GL rapidly deploying that when you are bleeding out bad enough to need one.

      Basically, it’s easily a questionable carry by someone possibly using a euphemism because they are full of shit.

    2. avatar Hannibal says:

      someone taking a photo of their everyday carry with handcuffs because they use them to lock some random door is like the guys who drive decommissioned crown vics and put spotlights and LEDs back on them because “you never know when you might need more light”. Sure buddy, sure.

      1. avatar Cuteandfuzzybunnies says:

        A spotlight is handy. I want one for my Jeep soon. But the other stuff is silly.

  23. avatar Jerre Peak says:

    I love my Glock 43X. I had a Glock 19 and as soon as I saw the Glock 43X I traded it for the 43X. The G19 has way too thick of handle for my hands and is harder to conceal than the 43X. Hell, if 10 + 1 doesn’t get the job done, you’re in deep shit my friend.

  24. avatar JohnQ says:

    Trying to make this not what it looks like, handcuffs are a convenient way to lock things shut, like open face doors commonly found in zoos to separate animals…

    I’m not buying that either, but…

  25. avatar valorius says:

    Is that pepper spray in the plastic baggie?

    One would think a zookeeper would definitely carry pepper spray.

    EVERYONE should carry pepper spray.

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