Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win a StealthGear Holster…Again!

OK, we’re going to re-run the StealthGear USA ONYX holster giveaway. This time, I’ll state up front that if you enter a bogus email address (as our winner did the first time we ran the contest for the ONYX), you’re disqualified. No matter how funny you are. So once again, you have until midnight Sunday to come up with something witty. We’ll announce the winner some time on Monday.


  1. avatar Fred says:

    Exhibit A: an Airsofter in their natural habitat.

  2. avatar Mike Crognale says:

    Fred models his new guaranteed spent cartridge deflector.

    1. avatar Craig says:

      Funny, I was hit in the face by my own brass today. Not putting panty hose over my head though.

  3. avatar Peirsonb says:

    Embarrassed by his complete disregard for trigger control, Bob vowed to never show his face on TTAG again….

    1. avatar Bob says:

      Hey! I have great trigger control.

      1. avatar Ing says:

        Sorry, but I have to ask. If not trigger control, what ARE the control-tops on your head for?
        (That was the funniest reply I’ve read in a long time.)

  4. avatar Ralph (not that one) says:

    I really should have washed this before I put it on.

  5. avatar Wyfaggro says:

    Lee Harvey Oswald for the 21st century…

  6. avatar Dan Kozisek says:

    Disgruntled with his job, the Easter Bunny decides to take matters into his own hands.

  7. avatar zora says:

    “Tacticool” has gone a little too far.

  8. avatar Jay1987 says:

    Dan!! Dagnabbit I told you to stop posting your strange fetish pictures on TTAG!!

  9. avatar Sam Wright says:

    Diane Feinstein called, she wants her panty hose back.

  10. avatar Jon says:

    Its a stretch to hide your face these days.

  11. avatar MichaelB says:

    Motion-capture preparation continues for the upcoming UBISoft game: Rainbow1: Unpossible French. Includes free white hanky.

  12. avatar taizu says:

    the closest he will ever get to the target

  13. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    Quite possibly the worst “Stocking Stuffer” I’ve ever gotten for Christmas…

  14. avatar Craig says:

    Wearing your wife’s panties and holding a gun doesn’t automatically qualify you for the IRA.

  15. avatar Shire-man says:

    JarJars a gunna put a whoopins onna demsa droidsa

  16. avatar D2 says:

    While rifling through mother’s underwear drawer…

  17. avatar Avid Reader says:

    Robert gets ready for a weekend back in New England. . .

  18. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    I can’t stop laughing long enough to think of anything right now.

  19. avatar jwm says:

    High speed. Really a drag.

  20. avatar Scott says:

    From “Raising Arizona”: Son, you’ve got a panty on your head.

    1. avatar Preston says:

      Damn beat me to it!

  21. avatar wheelsucker says:

    She’s not in here Sir!

  22. avatar PeterC says:

    “Look, Mom, I’m Seal Team 7!”

  23. avatar GZee says:

    Note to self: Buy not borrow nylons for mask.

  24. avatar Jon B says:


  25. avatar LongBeach says:

    My wife says I can never find the little man in the boat, so i’ma goin’ huntin’ for him…

  26. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    Operator as F**K!

    1. avatar JaredFromTampa says:

      Give this man a holster.

  27. avatar William Burke says:

    “Bet y’all I can hit the wall with this thing over my face!”

  28. avatar Sherlock007 says:

    Somewhere in the heart of Missouri a man finds married life to be too difficult. No trial separation, no marriage counselor; just instantaneous divorce.

  29. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    Who ever said you couldn’t carry a rifle IWB ?

  30. avatar SpeleoFool says:


    Robert finally melts down over the months-long prohibition of Israeli supermodel links on TTAG.

  31. avatar SpeleoFool says:


    How Nick got the name “Leghorn”? 🙂

  32. avatar Andy says:

    Mom always said “Don’t show trigger discipline in the house”

  33. avatar aaronw says:

    Wearing lederhosen before using his lead-hosen?

  34. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    I weep for his trigger discipline… sniff… sniff…

  35. avatar SigGuy says:

    Does the carpet match the drapes?

  36. avatar Ing says:


    High-speed, low-drag queen.

  37. avatar Andrew says:

    Jar Jar Binks turns to the dark side of The Force.

  38. avatar Martin says:

    This is what every gun grabber thinks gun owners do in their spare time

  39. avatar SpeleoFool says:


    The H&K Civilian Gun Ownership Hazing Training Program. Because you suck. And we hate you.

  40. avatar Nine says:

    Always outnumbered, never outdumbed…

  41. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    There’s something wrong with that camel’s foot…

  42. avatar Phil says:

    2008: Candidate Obama volunteer security detail.

    1. avatar Denny says:

      Well at least the Volunteer Security Detail is smarter than Obama.

  43. avatar Joel says:

    umph, umph, umph (trick or treat)

  44. avatar flboots says:

    Hey Joe, Eric, how do you like my costume? I bet I win at the mask ball.

  45. avatar Jesse says:

    Day 56. H&K Still hasn’t responded to my warranty email.

  46. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    I was on my way to rob a bank, but ended up in my grandma’s living room.

  47. avatar DanRRZ says:

    Something smells fishy about this op….I can’t put my nose on it…

  48. avatar Phil says:

    Ghost’s first mask didn’t make it long.

  49. avatar Marty the Lett says:

    I thought my cross dressing fetish was cured, but the malady lingers on.

  50. avatar JaredFromTampa says:

    She told me to take off her her shirt, so I took off her shirt. She told me to take off her bra, so I took off her bra. She then told me to take off her shoes, I took off her shoes. She then told me to take off her pantyhose, I took off her panty hose…she then told me “don’t let me catch you wearing my fvcking things ever again.”

    -an old joke my da told me…all I got.

    1. avatar the ruester says:

      Every chance I get, I will tell this joke…

      This I swear!

  51. avatar Ed Rogers says:

    Although he thought he wouldn’t be discovered, Piers Morgan was caught enjoying BOTH of his fetishes…

  52. avatar Moose says:

    Not the stocking stuffer you were expecting.

  53. avatar Hidden Hills says:

    Look what I found on Ebay!!!

  54. avatar Mr. Bad Timing says:

    “Yeah Tod… These H&Ks are gonna be great for the heist… But did you leave any money for the masks?”

  55. avatar Tony Preston says:

    Hey guys post a quick pic of me to Facebook before we rob this bank. These disguises are awesome. No one will ever figure out it was us.

  56. avatar Joel says:

    Seriously fellas, does this stocking make my head look fat?

  57. avatar SpeleoFool says:


    “28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds. That is when the world will end.”

  58. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Captain sweatpants undertakes “operation smegma”

  59. avatar A-Rod says:

    Deleted scene from Raising Arizona. Holly Hunter is holding the camera.

  60. avatar Vhyrus says:

    I guess slenderman needed the additional range after putting on all that weight.

  61. avatar Oddux says:

    “Damnit, man, I said if you want to be a sniper you need to work on your STALKING, not stoc… you know what, forget it.”

  62. avatar RLC2 says:

    Mayor Bloomberg ‘evolves’ – in secret drag party in NYPD evidence locker.

    “If you are looking for your first rifle, this isn’t it!”

    PS: “Dont be a dumb-ass”.

  63. avatar Oddux says:

    Jed never did figure out what they meant by “Bullet hose.”

  64. avatar ErrantVenture11 says:

    Carlos Danger: The Lost Sexts

  65. avatar jcg101 says:

    Hurry, take the picture before my wife gets home.

  66. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    man holding gun: I swear, as God is my witness … the next @$$hole that makes a wisecrack about me wearing women’s underwear over my head … is going to get another hole in his body. Then we’ll see who is laughing.

  67. avatar Shaun L. says:

    And here we have a rare image a Polish mobster in his natural environment A.K.A. his grandma’s house.

  68. avatar jcg101 says:

    Funny part is he’s probably wondering why he can’t see out of the thick part of those panty hose.

  69. avatar Adam Litke says:

    “No mom I don’t care if the flower drapes are in the picture, just make me look cool.”

    On a side note if that picture did not have a date and it was an AK looking gun I would say this picture was taken in 1970.

  70. avatar Black belt says:

    Hk hates me, HK HATES ME! PLEASE HK HATE ME!!!!!!

  71. avatar Ron L says:

    “Damn it, I asked for a pair of CLEAN ones!”

  72. avatar Sivartius says:

    Roger Rabbit was framed.
    He spent the last 30 in prison
    Now he’s out, and he’s asking questions.


    I’m Late! I’m Late! For a Very Important Date!


    A man with a gun almost always gets respect. ALMOST always.

  73. avatar James1000 says:

    This has to be a picture of Mark Kelly….it’s the only way he can make love to Gabby and maintain his 2A anonymity.

  74. avatar Sivartius says:

    On a more serious note:

    When he comes through my window at 2am, he won’t be carrying this. So I won’t either.

  75. avatar Stu says:

    “Maybe this time the in-laws will leave…”

  76. avatar Ing says:

    Control tops — much better than that old tinfoil hat.

  77. avatar Jay1987 says:

    Now the brave aboriginal hunter claims his prize for bringing down the dangerous and elusive Hillarysaurus.

  78. avatar The Smiling Swordsman says:

    When Fred said that the gangs robbery plan stinks, he meant it.

  79. avatar jcg101 says:

    The string of bad decisions that led him here started years ago when he bought those drapes.

  80. avatar Steven says:

    Yes, it’s Mom’s house and (sniff sniff) Mom’s panty hose but it’s my gun.

  81. avatar Silentbrick says:

    “Ummm…..hi honey. Welcome home…..”

  82. avatar Joel says:

    I saw where RF said blind people have a right to own guns so I thought what about me? I don’t even have a face.

  83. avatar Joel says:

    Does this count as eye and ear protection?

  84. avatar jcg101 says:

    Its me, if I don’t win a stealthgear.

    Don’t judge to harshly, we’ve all had panty hose on at least once in our lives.

  85. avatar jcamp says:

    My name is Dan Zimmerman.

  86. avatar DiFiK8 says:

    Tacti-cool nylon evolves!


    Do these nylons make my eyebrows look fat?

  87. avatar Tyler3923 says:

    I got 99 problems but my “hose” ain’t one.

  88. avatar Joel says:

    Things go terribly wrong when H&K and Playtex team up for a joint promotion.

  89. avatar Tyler3923 says:

    On a separate note… clicking the picture takes you to a Russian porn website.

  90. avatar Chad says:

    These aren’t the ‘hoes you’re looking for.

  91. avatar sagebrushracer says:

    January 14, 2008, The NSA gets approval to ramp up the domestic spying programs and data gathering facilities.

  92. avatar MiketheHopsFarmer says:

    Ze money, Lebowski!

  93. avatar rammerjammer says:

    Who farted?

  94. avatar Bgryphon says:

    Can you see me now?

  95. avatar John in Ohio says:

    Avoid the Noid!

  96. avatar Rabbit says:

    HK: If these were your customers, you’d hate them too.

  97. avatar KrisS says:

    Grandma told me I wasn’t no good, so I’m robbin’ her house, forgot a mask, so I got this from her drawer.

  98. avatar knightofbob says:

    “Take it again, I think I blinked.”

  99. avatar KrisS says:

    The anti fashion police recruiter in his lair.

  100. avatar Cameron S. says:

    “As of early 2008, the ATF also takes sexual shaming as payment for the ATF Form 1 tax stamp: because you suck, and we hate you.”

    – The United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Exposives

  101. avatar Joel says:

    Ed. seriously, concealed carry refers to your weapon, not your face.

  102. avatar Joel says:

    So I said to them “give me all your money” but they just started laughing. I don’t get it.

  103. avatar Paul53 says:

    In 2008 if you had to watch a 9 inch black and white TV with a rabbit ears antennae, play movies on VHS, and had panty hose on your face, holding a gun would make perfect sense to you too!

  104. avatar Joel says:

    Really fellas, are you sure this doesn’t look weird? Because, y’know, it feels kinda funny. Why are you laughing?

  105. avatar Joel says:

    Wait, ok, but what if I have to sneeze?

  106. avatar J o e says:

    Camouflage for hunting fish.

  107. avatar Matt in Maine (formerly SD) says:

    Hello! I’m a moron.

  108. avatar Joel says:

    Michael Bloomberg’s dirty little secret………REVEALED!!!!!

  109. avatar Taro Tsujimoto says:

    “I’ll be taking these Huggies, and any cash you got in the drawer… And make it quick, I’m in dutch with the wife.”

  110. avatar Taro Tsujimoto says:

    Jeffrey took a deep breath and suddenly remembered that Wednesdays are Pilates class…

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Oh my gosh.
      This just caused a portion of glenmorangie to spew forth from my nose.
      My good man, that took 18 years to age!

      1. avatar jwm says:

        When logged onto TTAG having beverages near your computer is not advised. Especially not expensive well aged beverages. I’m reluctant to even have water near my computer for fear of damaging the system when I imitate Old Faithfull.

  111. avatar Kurt M says:

    “Hey, we all had to do this to become TTAG writers; it’s not hazing, its group bonding.”

  112. avatar icepick37 says:

    Dad’s gun, Mom’s hose. Freud, who?

  113. avatar Liberty2Alpha says:

    “Due to the Gov’t shutdown, the ATF’s kit was modified slightly.”

  114. avatar Liberty2Alpha says:

    Jealous of Coonan’s cutting edge association with (R)evolve(R), H&K teams up with (L)ose(R).

  115. avatar Dracon1201 says:

    The new masks of Payday 2 need some work.

  116. avatar In Memphis says:

    You sniff pantyhose? Well HK still hates you and now so does your wife.

  117. avatar rt-texas says:

    Dave finally had to admit he got hosed on his Gun Broker Tavor purchase.

  118. avatar Austin says:

    First HK G36’s were actually made in the mid 70’s seen here held by a member of the German Special Forces.

  119. avatar Hal says:

    Nick Leghorn’s decent into madness is complete.


    You spent $3000 to convert a $1400 SL8 to a G36 SBR that still has zero-shift issues. I would be ashamed too.

  120. avatar ensitue says:

    For Sale:
    Big Screen TV and Assault Rifle

  121. avatar Piet Padkos says:

    BDSM HK style!


    I’m from the government and I only want to help.


    Are you telling me we’re over?!

  122. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    Mera told her husband that she didn’t think his halloween costume was a good idea, but would he listen?
    Funeral services were held on Nov. 4th.

  123. avatar Zahooee says:

    “Does this make my nose look big?”

  124. avatar DanRRZ says:

    Mothers Against Gun Violence goes undercover to infiltrate the ranks of the armed intelligentsia

  125. avatar BillC says:

    When James Yeager gives up on life.

  126. avatar Chris Dodich says:

    …and he was determined to never let ANYONE give him a wedgie again!!!

  127. avatar steve says:

    Considering everything in this pic, the 13inche b/w tv, vcr player, 60’s wall paper, 70’s curtains among other things. There has got to be a basement, a bean bag chair and Cheetos involved.

  128. avatar nemsis says:

    Mark Kelly just back from another gun show.

  129. avatar C.H. says:

    cheesy wallpaper?- Check.
    cheesy 70’s drapes?- Check.
    cheesy 13” gray screen T.V.?- Check.
    cheesy VCR?- Check.
    cheesy golden religious shrine?- Check.
    Rockin’ your G36 in padded pantyhose and racing pants with a smirk on your face?- Priceless.
    Some things in life Hryvnias can’t buy, Для все ще там Mastercard.

  130. avatar Az9mm says:

    I swear my finger was off the trigger officer…

  131. avatar John says:

    *Sniff sniff*

    Smells like victory!

  132. avatar jirdesteva says:

    I was trying to match the perspective that mayor Bumberg , Sen Frankenstein and most ANTIs have about the guns they want to ban. I just couldn’t physically match the dexterity they must have and actually shove my head up my @$$. I figured this was close enough.

  133. avatar Gordon Rubinstein says:

    OK lady, now hand over the rest of your undies! And you better hope they fir better that the pantyhose!

  134. avatar Jay1987 says:

    Remember kids never let Mr. boogerhook get on top of Ms. Bangswitch unless you plan for him to make her go off and wake the neighbors.

    – my old drill sgt during BRM in basic training.

  135. avatar Rick says:

    “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the handsom………

  136. avatar Bobiojimbo says:

    I love the smell of crotch rot and gunpowder in the morning; smells like victory.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      That’s talcum powder. She wears those things to cover up her depends.

  137. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Invasion of the Body Snatches.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Or the XXX version,

      Invasion on the Booty Snatchers

    2. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Or the hard core version:

      Invasion of the Booty Snatchers

  138. avatar Brandon B says:

    From the mouth of H&K’s public relations executive, “This is a prime example why we think you suck and we hate you.”

  139. avatar T-Money says:

    “Who needs trigger discipline when you have this sweet mask and a 10″ TV? #swag”

  140. avatar hastur says:

    Nathan needs some Huggies…

  141. avatar jwm says:

    barry, who could never get the cadence”this is my rifle, this is my gun” right was made to wear the Mary Jane Rottencroch dunce camp for the rest of boot.

  142. OK, OK, hold your frickin’ horses. I let the contest slip yesterday. Mea culpa.

    That photo above produced an inordinate number of funny responses. I don’t know what that says about the pic…or our readers. And I’m not going to try to analyze it.

    Coffee-spit inducing entries were contributed by LongBeach, SpeleoFool, Moose, Joel, ErantVentureII and MiketheHopsFarmer among others. But the StealthGear ONYX holster goes to Liberty2Alpha. Congrats.

  143. avatar Everett says:

    Last known image of failed bank robber taken just before leaving his grandmothers house.
    In other news, the Brady campaign to prevent gun violence has filed suit against pantyhose manufacturer for their products involvement in attempted bank heist.

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