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OK, we’re going to re-run the StealthGear USA ONYX holster giveaway. This time, I’ll state up front that if you enter a bogus email address (as our winner did the first time we ran the contest for the ONYX), you’re disqualified. No matter how funny you are. So once again, you have until midnight Sunday to come up with something witty. We’ll announce the winner some time on Monday.

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  1. Embarrassed by his complete disregard for trigger control, Bob vowed to never show his face on TTAG again….

  2. Motion-capture preparation continues for the upcoming UBISoft game: Rainbow1: Unpossible French. Includes free white hanky.

  3. Somewhere in the heart of Missouri a man finds married life to be too difficult. No trial separation, no marriage counselor; just instantaneous divorce.

  4. Or…

    Robert finally melts down over the months-long prohibition of Israeli supermodel links on TTAG.

  5. Or…

    The H&K Civilian Gun Ownership Hazing Training Program. Because you suck. And we hate you.

  6. She told me to take off her her shirt, so I took off her shirt. She told me to take off her bra, so I took off her bra. She then told me to take off her shoes, I took off her shoes. She then told me to take off her pantyhose, I took off her panty hose…she then told me “don’t let me catch you wearing my fvcking things ever again.”

    -an old joke my da told me…all I got.

  7. Although he thought he wouldn’t be discovered, Piers Morgan was caught enjoying BOTH of his fetishes…

  8. “Yeah Tod… These H&Ks are gonna be great for the heist… But did you leave any money for the masks?”

  9. Hey guys post a quick pic of me to Facebook before we rob this bank. These disguises are awesome. No one will ever figure out it was us.

  10. “Damnit, man, I said if you want to be a sniper you need to work on your STALKING, not stoc… you know what, forget it.”

  11. Mayor Bloomberg ‘evolves’ – in secret drag party in NYPD evidence locker.

    “If you are looking for your first rifle, this isn’t it!”

    PS: “Dont be a dumb-ass”.

  12. man holding gun: I swear, as God is my witness … the next @$$hole that makes a wisecrack about me wearing women’s underwear over my head … is going to get another hole in his body. Then we’ll see who is laughing.

  13. And here we have a rare image a Polish mobster in his natural environment A.K.A. his grandma’s house.

  14. Funny part is he’s probably wondering why he can’t see out of the thick part of those panty hose.

  15. “No mom I don’t care if the flower drapes are in the picture, just make me look cool.”

    On a side note if that picture did not have a date and it was an AK looking gun I would say this picture was taken in 1970.

  16. Roger Rabbit was framed.
    He spent the last 30 in prison
    Now he’s out, and he’s asking questions.


    I’m Late! I’m Late! For a Very Important Date!


    A man with a gun almost always gets respect. ALMOST always.

  17. This has to be a picture of Mark Kelly….it’s the only way he can make love to Gabby and maintain his 2A anonymity.

  18. On a more serious note:

    When he comes through my window at 2am, he won’t be carrying this. So I won’t either.

  19. Now the brave aboriginal hunter claims his prize for bringing down the dangerous and elusive Hillarysaurus.

  20. I saw where RF said blind people have a right to own guns so I thought what about me? I don’t even have a face.

  21. Its me, if I don’t win a stealthgear.

    Don’t judge to harshly, we’ve all had panty hose on at least once in our lives.

  22. January 14, 2008, The NSA gets approval to ramp up the domestic spying programs and data gathering facilities.

  23. Grandma told me I wasn’t no good, so I’m robbin’ her house, forgot a mask, so I got this from her drawer.

  24. “As of early 2008, the ATF also takes sexual shaming as payment for the ATF Form 1 tax stamp: because you suck, and we hate you.”

    – The United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Exposives

  25. In 2008 if you had to watch a 9 inch black and white TV with a rabbit ears antennae, play movies on VHS, and had panty hose on your face, holding a gun would make perfect sense to you too!

  26. Really fellas, are you sure this doesn’t look weird? Because, y’know, it feels kinda funny. Why are you laughing?

  27. “I’ll be taking these Huggies, and any cash you got in the drawer… And make it quick, I’m in dutch with the wife.”

    • Oh my gosh.
      This just caused a portion of glenmorangie to spew forth from my nose.
      My good man, that took 18 years to age!

      • When logged onto TTAG having beverages near your computer is not advised. Especially not expensive well aged beverages. I’m reluctant to even have water near my computer for fear of damaging the system when I imitate Old Faithfull.

  28. Jealous of Coonan’s cutting edge association with (R)evolve(R), H&K teams up with (L)ose(R).

  29. First HK G36’s were actually made in the mid 70’s seen here held by a member of the German Special Forces.

  30. Nick Leghorn’s decent into madness is complete.


    You spent $3000 to convert a $1400 SL8 to a G36 SBR that still has zero-shift issues. I would be ashamed too.

  31. BDSM HK style!


    I’m from the government and I only want to help.


    Are you telling me we’re over?!

  32. Mera told her husband that she didn’t think his halloween costume was a good idea, but would he listen?
    Funeral services were held on Nov. 4th.

  33. Considering everything in this pic, the 13inche b/w tv, vcr player, 60’s wall paper, 70’s curtains among other things. There has got to be a basement, a bean bag chair and Cheetos involved.

  34. cheesy wallpaper?- Check.
    cheesy 70’s drapes?- Check.
    cheesy 13” gray screen T.V.?- Check.
    cheesy VCR?- Check.
    cheesy golden religious shrine?- Check.
    Rockin’ your G36 in padded pantyhose and racing pants with a smirk on your face?- Priceless.
    Some things in life Hryvnias can’t buy, Для все ще там Mastercard.

  35. I was trying to match the perspective that mayor Bumberg , Sen Frankenstein and most ANTIs have about the guns they want to ban. I just couldn’t physically match the dexterity they must have and actually shove my head up my @$$. I figured this was close enough.

  36. OK lady, now hand over the rest of your undies! And you better hope they fir better that the pantyhose!

  37. Remember kids never let Mr. boogerhook get on top of Ms. Bangswitch unless you plan for him to make her go off and wake the neighbors.

    – my old drill sgt during BRM in basic training.

  38. From the mouth of H&K’s public relations executive, “This is a prime example why we think you suck and we hate you.”

  39. barry, who could never get the cadence”this is my rifle, this is my gun” right was made to wear the Mary Jane Rottencroch dunce camp for the rest of boot.

  40. OK, OK, hold your frickin’ horses. I let the contest slip yesterday. Mea culpa.

    That photo above produced an inordinate number of funny responses. I don’t know what that says about the pic…or our readers. And I’m not going to try to analyze it.

    Coffee-spit inducing entries were contributed by LongBeach, SpeleoFool, Moose, Joel, ErantVentureII and MiketheHopsFarmer among others. But the StealthGear ONYX holster goes to Liberty2Alpha. Congrats.

  41. Last known image of failed bank robber taken just before leaving his grandmothers house.
    In other news, the Brady campaign to prevent gun violence has filed suit against pantyhose manufacturer for their products involvement in attempted bank heist.

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