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Last week’s champ was uncommon_sense. He’ll be receiving a pack of Swab-Its just as soon as I get off my butt and get it mailed to him. This week’s winner will receive a Laserlyte SCV4 pistol laser. Just enter the best caption for this photo by Sunday midnight and you have a shot. So to speak.

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  1. “Hey Tommy, that’s a nice gun you got there”

    “I told you my name is Ralph”

    “Eh, whatever, not like anybody will remember”

  2. “No, I seriously hate being assigned to cavity inspections but this time, it was like a thrill ride. The harder I pulled, the more that came out. Oh, it got tense around the magazine and I had to use both hands and brace my feet against the wall. The prisoner? He’s fine, but he keeps puckering up and throwing kisses to me every time I walk past his cell”

  3. “Yup, Guys, being able to own something like this Baby is what American freedom is all about! Nobody’ll ever be able to take our guns away from us!”

  4. Well Bill, since you only shot four innocent bystanders in last weeks bank robbery, the Chief was so impressed, he has decided to nominate you as this precincts designated marksman. Here’s your Tommy, go make us proud. *Ass smack*

  5. I told you there was a pistol in there Moe!

    What; a pistol?, say Larry.

    You numbskulls? It’s a drumstick with 2 handles to holsd whiel you eat it!

  6. Guy holding 1921: “What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?”

    Chief: “I dunno’…. Put it on shelf….. maybe a hundred years from now, when nobody cares about these things, they’ll chop and melt it.”

    3rd cop: “It’s almost time for breakfast….. Ya’ fella’s wanna’ get a drink?”

  7. Imagine! You can miss 50 times without reloading! The State Police version is rumored to allow 100 misses without reloading. What will they think of next?

  8. In my day all we needed was a 5 shot break top .32 revolver and a truncheon. You kids and your new fangled gizmos.

  9. Do you think this is too much gun for a 5 year old? I want to give it to her for her birthday a day early, so she can take it for show and tell.

  10. “And just think, in 60 years we’ll get a carve out and be able to buy them cheap and no stupid special tax!”

  11. Despite bringing in haul after haul, Officer Callaghan never figured out that his nose wasnt pointy enough to make Sergeant.

  12. “I copped it out of Ness’s car. How come we can’t have toys like this Chief? The Feds get all the new toys & we’re still popping 32’s!”

  13. Here it is boys, “The End All, Be All.”
    You betta get used to it, too. We’ll be shooting these for the next hundred years.

  14. Can you believe some dumbass turned this in at our gun buyback? This will make a nice one for my collection!

  15. Now, the trouble with the 40-watt plasma rifle is the bulky, round battery. But it’s only got enough juice for 10 shots, so it’s legal in California.

  16. “So, if I put a little oil on this and keep the humidity away from it, what do you fellas figure it will be worth in oh say 2017?”

  17. This right here has the ability with a .30-caliber clip to disperse with 30 bullets within half a second.

  18. “Ya know, we could sell this to a gangster, and then say he stole it from us. Who’s to say differently??””

  19. Gold plate it and send it to Sessions. And no, Bob, it’s not a bribe to get a Federal grant. Call it a … preemptive thank-you.

  20. Detachable magazine, pistol grip, fore grip: geeze Carl, whatever you do don’t paint it black. The press will call it “scary” and then “it’s on”!

  21. Evidence found in the Van Owen shooting. Headless suspect sought. Goes by the name of Roland.

  22. June 19, 1934:
    That’s right boys … as of next week you will have to pay a huge tax and get a stamp from the federal government before you can buy one of these.

  23. He said pew, pew, pew. I said budda, budda, budda.

    That stamped “The End” on his medical records.

  24. “Some deaf, dumb, and blind kid got so mad when he lost at pinball, he used this to shoot up the whole arcade.”

  25. You know boys 90 years from now officers will be thankful we had these. Chicago will be the model city with no crime.

  26. Alleged photo of the first Ghost Gun. While many claim the photo is clearly a hoax, true believers rally around the photo as evidence of the hidden truth of deadly racist Ghost Guns.

  27. “Yeah, it’s surplus. Some guy named Roland with a funny accent wants to buy it from us.”

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