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The winner of last week’s contest was BLAMMO. This week’s champ will receive a box of Federal Premium Hi-Bird 12 gauge shotgun shells courtesy Vista Outdoor. Just enter the best caption for this cartoon by Sunday at midnight.

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    • My wife wants a one way ticket of her choice anywhere. I checked my ammo box and had one 9mm left. Oh well, maybe next time.

      • Salesman: How can I help you?

        Customer: I really want a gun, but not one that could really hurt someone. Just scare them a little.

        Salesman: Well sir, all real guns can be dangerous in the wrong hands. Perhaps you need pepper spray?

        Customer: How about a gun but no bullets?

        Salesman: That’s a fine idea. I recommend this long-barrel Smith and Wesson 500. It will pay for itself in six months through ammo you don’t buy.

        Customer: Wow. Great point. And I’ll take that army-looking rifle on the wall there behind you as well. Thank you so much.

        Salesman: We also have a generous trade-up policy if you decide you need something bigger.

  1. “Yeah my buddy has some full auto M4s we go shoot, he brought them back from when he was in Iraq”

  2. …and I didn’t check to see if the Glock was unloaded when I pulled the trigger to disassemble it. That’s how I lost my pinky finger.

  3. “But I LOVE finger grooves! Can’t you just sell me the Gen 5 barrel so I can slip it in my Gen 4?”

  4. I don’t understand. They told me I could get an automatic rifle here without a background check, since I bought it online. So what’s the problem?

  5. but the folks on TTAG said I shouldn’t buy a springfield product, said they didn’t support gun rights, said the xde was just a fancy hi-point, and said I shouldn’t buy a gen5 glock, and said………

  6. “…………..and my wife always checks the receipts to make sure that I am telling the truth about how much I paid, so that’s why I’ll need a second dummy receipt showing that I only spent roughly 1/3 of what I am actually going to buy.”

  7. “No sir, I am not that reporter you saw on TV last week. I really would like to buy a fully automatic AR-357 magnum assault rifle with a 12 gauge barrel, the one made by Glock. No sir, I’m not him, do I look like the type of person who would do anti-gun news reports outside gun store? Also, I will pay and extra $50 so we can avoid the background . Why no, that doesn’t look like a person holding a TV camera hiding behind that van to me.”

  8. My wife just told me she did me a favor by cleaning my S&W29 by running it through the washing machine . Then put it away wet. It was used personally by Clint Eastwood and had his signature inside the grips. It’s so rusted that I can’t even get it out of the holster.

    • “Then put it away wet. It was used personally by Clint Eastwood and had his signature inside the grips.”

      If I were on that jury, it’d be justifiable homicide.

      Time served.


  9. I guess it’s a ship of Theseus argument but how many parts CAN you replace on a Glock and still call it a Glock?

  10. I work at the gun store across town…..and I just need to talk to someone that knows what they’re talking about….

  11. It takes three months to get a NJ Permit to Purchase? But I can get a handgun on any corner of Newark in fifteen minutes!

  12. I personally don’t think anyone should have guns, but the Antifa group I’m trying to join requires you to have one soooo here I am….

  13. Whaddya mean “these aren’t all Glocks and AK-47’s”? That’s what they said on the news, I know what I’m talking about!

  14. Hello. I am Professor Berkeley. I am conducting sophisticated research. Just give me the facts. How many times per day do these things spontaneously fire? No…ine? OK, I will record it as at least nine times per day.

  15. … and ever since, it hasn’t been a beautiful day in the neighborhood. So here we are, friends, to learn to protect the neighborhood.

  16. Yeah, I read that line on the Federal Premium Hi-Bird shotshell box where it says the “… lead shot is engineered for the optimum blend of hardness and density”. Now, tell me, what does that mean in english?

  17. Yeah, I know that we’re in California and they’re just for display – but can’t you sell me SOMETHING?”

  18. Why does every gun shop tell me to buy a J-frame .38 or .357 short barrel revolver when they all know I’ll never shoot it more than once and I’ll never practice with it. Oh, it’s so cute and easy to carry. Nothing but a money suck for the buyer.

    • “Nothing but a money suck for the buyer.”

      The ‘money sucks’ in the gun world are guns so damn fun to shoot the only reason you show up for work is for the money to buy more ammo for ’em.

      (On the upside, they keep you off the streets and out of the bars…)

  19. …… anyway that’s why I need a fake receipt showing that $3500.00 was really $350.00, so would a fifty cover your trouble?

  20. “I’m looking for something that’s more than irrational but less than psychotic”

  21. You say you don’t have any ghost guns… How do I know you’re not hiding one?

    I’m sorry, Mr. DeLeon, but ghosts are invisible. You’ll just have to trust me.

  22. Trust me, not only am I a gun guy, I’m the gun guy. I shill, I mean, write alot of garbage, ah! I mean informative pieces about guns for HuffPo out of my I mean gun shop in Ware, Mass.

  23. “I want something that says, ‘I am a real manly man.’ but not, ‘I am a crazy man with a gun!’…what do you suggest?”

  24. How much paperwork will I need to fill out for that book over there? I hear they are harder to buy than guns.

  25. …so, I can’t remember what my friend had, but he said Guns & Ammo gave it a full on great review, so naturally I decided to come here…

  26. Can you put a Ruger Mark 2 pistol back together? I loaned it to my brother in-law and he tried to clean it after using it and he couldn’t get it back together…..

      • They’re trivial to put together. The Ruger Mk I, II and III – pud easy to take apart and put together.

        Want a thrill to detail strip & reassemble? Go get get a M9/Model 92 Beretta (metric roll pins removed to launch springs and detents across the room), or you could try a Model 60 Marlin ((*&*&^ C-clips go off everywhere…)

        A Ruger Mk I, II or III? Nothing goes flying anywhere. They’re pud easy.

        • Nothing goes flying, they just get jammed up. If you do a lot of them and follow the steps properly, they aren’t impossible, but they are nowhere near as easy as a gun designed in the last thirty years.

          People clean their guns too much.

  27. I’m looking for a gun that has the shoulder thing that goes up. I think it was called a “barrel shroud”.

  28. Are you certain? There’s no handgun anywhere that has a premium heated-leather grip to match those in the new Buick lineup?

  29. ….. Now let me tell you about the deer that my grandfather got back in ’76 or was is ’78. (Cut to line building up to people actually wanting to buy a gun)

    Guy:$40 for a brick of 22 shells?! When I was younger I paid .50 cents for 50
    Clerk: and was was the price of gas then?

    let me tell you why NYC need to be its own state

    why isn’t 22lr a good self defense caliber?

  30. “i’d like a black gun with a snuffler, a lever gun with a cake hardened retriever, a pump gun that will ‘slam bang to the moon, alice’, a forty oz. king cobra revolver, a wonderful nine and a flying ashtray made in 1911. oh, some bbq sauce for that last one.”

  31. “How much for that handgun? That’s ridiculous! I could have bought it for much less than that over at Bert’s gun shop before he went out of business! “

  32. Excuse me, sir. Do you have any guns with a shoulder thing that goes up and fires a 30 magazine clip in half a second?

  33. “Ammo? No, I don’t want to kill anyone – I’ll just point it at the bad guy to scare him away.”

  34. when you hover the cursor over the image you can pretend to pick their noses with the fickle finger of fate.
    fun for some.

  35. “These .44 magnum bullets are too expensive.. can I save money if I put two .22s in there instead?”

  36. What do you mean Michael Moore lied in Bowling for Columbine about the bank giving away a rifle the same day for opening up a checking account?

  37. What? No Federal Premium Hi Bird shot gun shells?, you mean I have to get them all by myself with skill?

  38. I’m getting decorations for my annual neighborhood haunted house. My neighbors all come every year & they’re all super liberal democrats, so I want the scariest gun you have. You know, black with a flash hider, pistol grip, barrel shroud- the shoulder thingy that goes up. One of those “assault rifles”. And don’t forget the 30 caliber clip!

    • Government finally declared ANTIFA and BLM domestic terrorists. I want a rifle that can put them down at a 1K yards and a double stack 1911 please with 5 cases of ammo for each! Oh and throw in a milspec night scope for the rifle! License? I have my ISIS, ANTIFA and BLM licenses right here.

  39. Customer: So do you have an RDB in stock?
    Clerk: …Sir, you’re clearly not familiar with Kel-Tec.

  40. Man: “I heard on the news you taught preschoolers about SKS assault machine guns.”

    Clerk: “You’re from New York aren’t you?”

  41. “Hey man, you hooked my cousin up with a sweet HiPoint last week, now they are all sold out? What else do you have that is cheap and reliable?”

    Gun Dealer: “Well, I do have a nice used Jennings over hear. Made in America and chambered in the powerful 380 auto cartridge.”

    “Yeah, looks nice. Give me a box of ammo too”.

    Gun Dealer, after customer leaves: “Another happy customer. That’s why they call me the Firearms Concierge.”

  42. “But the kid wearing a smock at the big box sporting goods retailer said that I should use only double-aught buckshot for long passing shots at teal!”

  43. Look at my hand buddy. There’s no way those finger grooves will work. Ya got that Gen 5 in stock yet or not?

  44. So, it doesn’t have any apps, there’s no touch screen, you can’t call anyone with it, and it doesn’t access Facebook. Why the heck do they say it’s a “smart gun?”

  45. Now I dunno about you Fred, but my mother in law requires at least a 120mm rifled barrel to put her down. So please just build what I asked.

  46. “I’m looking for a shoulder thing that goes up.” (Sotto Vocce): “Preferably without a background check”

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