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If you don’t frequent Twitter — and there are fewer reasons to do so every day — you may have missed the fact that Eva Colen (Ed Advocacy Fellow • Virginian • Nerd • Educator • Learner • Aspiring ally • Pragmatic idealist • Lefty for #edreform) won the internet going away yesterday. Though probably not in the way most sentient mammals would want to. There’s apparently no truth to the rumor that she started a petition to ban all civilian firearm ownership after being startled by someone opening a can of Coca-Cola when she finally boarded her train.

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  1. ‘It’s your fault I’m such a pansie!’

    How come so many people want to punish others who don’t like or do the same things as them? You see it in tobacco taxes, soda taxes, gun laws, carbon taxes…on…and on…and on.

  2. HA! It should be Colon-’cause yer full of shite…I did have a bike tire blowout recently-I was soooo scared.

    • Happened to me last summer while changing tires on my wife’s bike. Unbelievably loud. Scared the bejesus out of all of us…and yet government intervention was neither needed nor requested. I guess I just wasn’t thinking big enough at the time.

      • Now wanna-be copycats who cannot afford a weapon (they ARE very expensive) can go around on bicycles with highly overinflated tired hoping for a blast that scares the dookee out of every liberal-progressive within earshot.

      • I remember when I was around 9, I had ridden my bike miles from home, without any supervision, and my parents didn’t care as long as I was home for dinner. (Back when kids were free…)

        My front tire was low, so being self-reliant, I stopped at the nearby gas station and grabbed the hose. Didn’t have my gauge (loaned it out) so like a stupid confident 9 yo, I figured I could just tell by the feel….

        KA-EFFEN-BLAMMO!. That hose was on a hardline to a jumbo shop compressor at 125PSI. Blew the tire on my Schwinn completely up in 3 seconds, and I still have a scar on the back of my hand from where the wire in the tire explosion cut me. Had to wheelie it to the back tire and walk it home. Just made dinner, and after some perfunctory concern, everybody laughed.

      • I blew a slime tube out in the garage once. Thought I was bleeding until I noticed what was running down my leg was green?

    • In the last 14 years as a truck driver I have had 29 tires blow while underway. The last one was so violent it blew the entire wheel assembly off the trailer axle and a local resident called the police to investigate the explosion. If you have never experienced the event it sounds almost exactly like a grenade going off. (Truck tires are pressurized at @110 PSI.)

      Wonder what this poor woman would do, other than mess her pants?

  3. Oh, be still my beating heart….

    Sounds like some exposure therapy is in order here….


  4. For the children … Train stations should be bike tire-free zones.

    The bicycle lobby clearly has an evil vise-like grip on America’s elected leadership.

    “Gunshots” plural? Jeez lady what was it, a high capacity bike tube?

    • Bike tires? Bicycle lobby? What does this have to do with bikes? It’s guns that are the problem in this case, too! Pass “GUN LAWS!”

    • It might have been an echo, but if you can’t tell fantasy from reality anyway, why would that matter.

        • Does the sound of a bike tire popping even sound anything like a gunshot?

          Never heard a bike tire explode, but last winter a buddy of mine blew a tire on his 2-place snowmobile trailer trying to air it up. It sounded like a shotgun…sound effect from a movie.

          Real gunshots don’t sound anything like what most people think they do, especially from more than a few meters away. They are dangerously loud up close, but from more than say, one hundred meters or so, they sound like weak-ass firecrackers.

  5. The pussification of America.

    And no, I don’t do Twitter, Facebook, fill-in-the-blank or any other Liberal, Millennial on-line, ‘connected’ electro-social BS.

    • Neither do I. You’re not missing anything. For the better really, because you would be missing brain cells if you did use social media.

        • I can see what you’re trying to say, but blogs are focused to a specific interest or cause. Not some dipshits who like to tell us how often they shower or when they brush their teeth.

          And I think TTAG and The Shooter’s Log are quite a bit different from the general Twitter, FB and Tumblr sites and crowd.

        • A restored ’77 Camaro and an ’86 Yugo are both cars, an original Colt M1911-A1 and a Jimenez Arms .380 are both guns, and TTAG’s comment section and Twitter are both social media. Throw a little extra nuance in there, though, and the differences are like night and day.

      • Thanks, Keystone.

        Agree completely. Besides, I don’t think I’m missing much by not knowing what everyone on there had for breakfast or how often the trim their toenails.

  6. Yep, because DC has the most lenient gun laws in the country, so clearly they need to tighten them up… Idiot.

  7. I.E.:

    I got scared, because the media has instilled fear in me – please US Government! – Take care of me and make me feel safe!

    • U.S. Govt response: OK, please allow 10 minute to 3 hour delays. Ask the criminals to nicely wait for us to arrest them.

      • Hell, for the gov’t, a three hour response time would be swift.

        Most responses to requets/inquiries take years.

  8. Note: it’s okay to be startled by loud noises; that’s a reflex that is useful for self-preservation.
    It’s not okay to dismantle the bill of rights because you misinterpreted a loud noise. That’s. . . just. . . my God.

  9. If Seinfeld attempted to do the Costanza joke about him running over everyone in his path at the kitchen fire, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as funny now.

  10. But of course there are words:
    – dangerously stupid
    – terminally timid
    – brainwashed moron
    – Pavlovian dog

    • No one needs to have a bike with a padded seat, a basket, fenders, reflectors, or a big goofy horn. All of these items increase the bike’s efficacy as a pure riding machine, with the potential to make the user ride better and be more comfortable. Bikes like this have no place on our streets; they could catch on and more people would ultimately ride them. Ban assault bikes now.

    • No one needs to have a bike with a padded seat, a basket, fenders, reflectors, or a big goofy horn. All of these items increase the bike’s efficacy as a pure riding machine, with the potential to make the user ride better and be more comfortable. Bikes like this have no place on our streets; they could catch on and more people would ultimately ride them. Ban assault bikes now.

      • None of the founding fathers could have anticipated the high-tech assault bikes we have today! Seriously, her reaction should have been embarassment at getting so frightened of a loud noise – but nope, it’s to pass more gun law BS. Boggles the mind…

        • At the time of the Constitution, bicycles were two wheels connected by a beam. Today’s high tech peddles, breaks, gears, high inflation tired, and space age materials weren’t dreamed of. Therefore, only the bicycles made at the time of the Constitution should be allowed.

      • I have high capacity saddle bags and a rack thingy that goes up on my bike. I should expect to be on the next no fly, no buy list.

        • Don’t forget banana sets, a sissy bar, and the testicle-removing shifter on the top tube (OK, that was a bit dangerous, but being a kid is supposed to be dangerous, right?)

  11. Drilling down through her twitter feed she is a strong proponent of gun control down under style. Including confiscation. Even your pump shotgun should be banned in her view. She openly admits the ultimate “however” long it takes is complete elimination of firearms. It is this too prevalent view point why as owners we can never compromise. Wish some of the more eloquent among us could had challenge her tweets

    • She’s getting hammered in the replies.

      And, she lived up to “sjw’s always double down, ” by then speaking negatively against her critics. And she’s getting hammered for that as well.

      • Ah another Saul Alysky discipline. When in doubt use infantile words to make your point. It’s because of people like her I had to leave VA.

  12. Not that many years ago, 18-year-olds were storming beaches, jumping out of airplanes and facing death in the face. Today, 18-year-olds are running to their safe places because words hurt.

    • Not that many years before that, 12 year olds were officers on warships…in some cases middle teens commanded whole batteries of the great guns.

      • Alexander the Great died at 32.

        Prior to about 1950, you were a child and then became an adult. There were no “teenagers” or middle-whatevers.

        There’s a reason every military in the world (including our own) would love battalions of 13 year-olds.

    • Rabbi, I was surprised and truly impressed by some of the teenage American men I worked with during my second assignment in Afghanistan. Brave, compassionate, mission focused. Don’t get me wrong, they were still 19 year old men, which means they were a bit reckless and not always the smartest, but completely willing to do what it took to get a job done.
      And, of course, none of them thought their friends were worth shit back home. Which is part of the reason they were there.

      • In fairness, I had a tube pop on me years back.

        Since it was inflated to 120 psi, it made a surprisingly loud ‘Pop!’. It echoed off the surrounding buildings rather authoritatively.

        But it was ONE DAMN POP, not “gunshots”.

        And I cured that problem permanently when I started using Specialized’s awesome Armadillo tires.

        12 years, about 100 miles a week, one (1) flat tire. And that 1 flat was through the sidewall, not the tread…

  13. There should be a place to put all the weak people. A place with fences to keep out scarry things and guards to protect their sensibilities. We could provide housing for them, stable jobs, and some food. That would just be amazing. To protect them from the rest of us.

  14. Uhhhh…. So…. By passing gun laws this chick will suddenly no longer be afraid when she hears a tire blowout? …WTF????….

  15. dearie, laws only affect those who follow them.

    Try passing more laws against murder, see how that works out first.

    • They should pass a law making it illegal to have your bicycle tire blow out in public. That should satisfy her?

  16. If a flat on a bicycle drove that tweet, the VH shorties on my Hog should create a Hershey Highway for her. Oh, how I long to visit the cradle of controversy which is DC. The mental images of “BRRRap ap ap ap ap ap…………SPLAAAAAT” amuse me to no end. hehehe……

  17. #Don’t be a pussy!

    #Dont be an idiot.

    Look lady the country is at war with Radical Isalmic Terrorists. So, grow up and actually be useful.

  18. At Metro north train. Just fled the train car I was in w 100s of others we thought we heard a bomb — it was a fat drunk guy sitting next to me who farted loudly. PLEASE PASS GUN LAWS


  19. Man, 4th of July fireworks are going to be a real hoot for these people.

    I thought it was an MG42 but really it was a few packs of Wolfpacks. PLEASE PASS GUN LAWS.

  20. Americans are getting more and more stupid with each passing year. Maybe it has something to do with the education system.

    Hey, wait a minute. Ms. Colen fancies herself an “educator.” That explains everything. Stupid can be taught. It might also be contagious, so stay away from stupid people.

    • Well put.

      The American ‘education’ system is almost as great an example of dysfunction as the Federal government.

    • There are few people I know who are less competent, thoughtful or intelligent than those I know with a Master’s in Ed.

      The only ones I know are worse are the ones with a PhD.

  21. Just reading about a bike tire exploding made me pee myself, is there a group called democrats anonymous….i think i might have democratic tendencies.
    Please pass gun laws but not very loudly please.

  22. Good grief, Eva Colen, aka Gun Twit of the Day.

    Nobody goes into hysterics and histrionics over a bicycle inner tube popping. This most delicate of special little snowflakes must have already been suffering from PTSD.

    I’m guessing a mortifying morning run-in with an explosive can of Pillsbury Grands!® Flaky Layers Biscuits. Perhaps something in a multi-grain, sugar-free, gluten-free, reduced fat version?

    PLEASE PASS BISCUIT CAN LAWS. Stand up to the Baked Goods Industry! Poppin’ Fresh is just a lackey for Big Bakery!

    • Omg……hands to cheeks
      Bisquit cans!!……….sound of body hitting floor………fainted…..laying in a puddle of urine!

      Its gonna be a long summer.

  23. Sounds like Eva Colen needs a diaper change, any volunteers?

    Maybe we can take up a collection and get poor, triggered, Eva a set of rubber bullets I mean “ear plugs”.

      • During the ferguson riots some jack hole of a reporter saw what actually were foam ear plugs but reported that they were rubber bullets….and followed his moment of idiocracy with..hashtag..”can anyone confirm”?
        It became a internet sensation with people posting ridiculous photos and asking if anyone could…..”confirm” the photo.
        Look it up….it’s amusing.

  24. Pass gun laws? Okay, let’s repeal the GCA, NFA, and the Hughes Amendment!

    What, she asked for it.

  25. Dont have to worry about her reproducing. Loud noise and sweat made her scream and leave the bedroom to callher therapist

  26. She clearly needs therapy like the “journalist” that got PTSD from pulling the trigger on the mighty AR15.

    • Cam I just read all the replies with the intention of calling her retarded but you had to go and do it already. Her and the other “hundred” that ran too.

  27. holy balls, we’ve had semi-autos and AR15s and frickin bikes available since the 1960s, and NOW people are scared!?!?!

  28. It’s seriously outright appalling to me that someone thinks that banning guns will take the bike blowouts away. But there you go.

  29. I just had to read a gun control tweet with hundreds of other people – but it turns out it was just a complete idiot who somehow survived natural selection into adulthood. PLEASE PASS POPULATION CONTROL!

  30. More evidence that we are in a ‘Age of Irrationality’ – and mental illness…

  31. Since I’m not familiar at all with twatter, it took me a good while to dig through all the verbal diarrhea in the link to even find the post in question.

    My opinion of humanity went down from there.

    Forget banning guns; twitter is an abomination. It starts with giving narcissistic village idiots a worldwide megaphone, and then pipes it through an asinine, infuriating interface. Tangent: does this alleged person do anything besides twitting and retwitting useless garbage?

    I’m neither old nor crotchety, but I’ve never felt more like yelling at people to get off my proverbial lawn.

    Apparent virtual people, at that, for I find it truly difficult to believe that these people actually exist in the U.S.A. that I know and love.

  32. When I was about 4 or 5 it was my birthday and I was at my Aunts apartment. Every had gotten me balloons and they were loosely weight down with a stapler or something. They came loose at about 2:20 in the morning and quickly drifted up to the ceiling fan where they were popped with what was a lot of noise, I looked up being closest to the fan on the second floor and said “cool” and went back to sleep. Everyone else was traumatized lol. It was then that I knew I liked things that go boom!

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