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I’ve traveled the world, lived abroad and survived five decades of testosterone-fueled fun (including drive 204 miles per hour on the Autobahn in a Pagani Zonda). I’ve achieved financial security (fingers crossed) and spread my father’s ashes on the Sakonnet River. I no longer feel the need to prove myself to anyone. But I know that humans are pack animals. Our survival depends on creating bonds with others. This is especially true from our teens into our late twenties, when the desire to go along to get along is the greatest and our judgement the worst (see: testosterone reference above). So I’m putting this warning out there, despite the fact that advice is coming from a recluse and wasted on the young. Trust no one. To wit:

Taylor, of Evanston, was visiting college friends Thursday at the apartment in the 1200 block of North LaSalle Drive. He was seen on security video propping open the building’s door just before the three men entered the building, prosecutors alleged.

As Taylor stood by, the men — one with a handgun — rushed into the apartment and beat the victims over their heads, authorities said. The robbers snatched computer and stereo equipment and a television and fled, authorities said.

When the victims confronted Taylor, he climbed out a third-story window. Chicago police found him nearby and arrested him about 3:30 a.m. Friday, prosecutors said.

He told police he planned and organized the robbery because he thought the apartment would contain “a large amount of drugs and money.”

Who’d a thunk it? Me. I’d be willing to bet that the Taylor was not a college student. I’d also put money on the fact that Taylor had intimate experience of his “friends'” drug habits, even if it was on the sharing end of the information spectrum. Hence his supposition.

This tale from has the ring of familiarity to it. I say this as the victim of a similar robbery, when I shared off-campus housing with a “townie turned college student.” He eventually invited some of his pals into our college lair to hang out, drink beer and smoke dope (obviously). Luckily, I wasn’t there when his pals lifted my wide-screen TV.

Lessons learned: when your guard goes down your insurance premiums go up (or worse). Birds of a feather flock together. Egalitarianism is not without its dangers. Never be without a gun.

Did I mention this happened twice (I moved out)? Some people never learn. Until they do.


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  1. Everyone is a schmuck as far as I’m concerned until they prove otherwise.

    I’ll add this; I’m proud that I don’t have any stories like the one that guy just told.

  2. Best self-defense tip ever: use the buddy system. When the BG comes after you, give him your buddy.

  3. Egalitarianism is not without its dangers.

    It is inherently a danger in and of itself. See Rothbard’s “Egalitarianism as a Revolt Against Nature”

    On self defense and trust, I am a firm believer in the “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet” rule.

  4. So obvious! If you do dirt unto others, expect trouble! If that little voice warns you, listen. If you hang out at a bar, there is going to be violence. I use to hang out at fringe-outlaw motorcycle bars after the military and saw sudden violence all the time. Pick friends you would trust-nobrainer. If you have self defense on your mind, learn how to fight with and without a gun. In my best advice, learn how to kick well, not just use your hands. Most street thugs want to swing wide and leave their bodies wide open. The only right thing “Romeo” did was getting away from the guy. Learn what a distraction is-I threw down a $20 bill once when fighting 3 guys on drugs. Their eyes followed the green as I ruptured one-you know where, punched one in the throat and then rushed the 3rd-knocking him down hard. I then grabbed the guy I’d been trying to help and threw him in my car. Later, I learned he’d stiffed the guys on a drug deal! Lesson learned-pick your fights. He had broken ribs and I’d originally taken a glancing blow from a baseball bat-cracking my temple bone and eye socket. Baseball bats suck!

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