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I used to know this gardener who was a demon in bed. When those seeds weren’t being planted the gardener taught me some basic lessons about making things grow. (So to speak.) I learned to prepare the soil, spread the seeds evenly and gently cover them with soil. The planting process was gentle, rhythmic and . . . where was I? Right, it was not something I’d attempt via shotgun blast. The dispersal wouldn’t be even enough. I wouldn’t know where all the seeds had landed, so covering them all would be problematic. As would firing off shells into the ground in suburban Austin. Other than that, what could possibly go wrong? Click here for [h/t DS]

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  1. LMAO… So I see disgruntled, male retirees, badgered by their wives who “want a garden”, striding around their yard, blasting away, cigar clenched angrily in their teeth. Blam! Blam! Reload. Blam! Blam! Neighbors scurrying for cover, sirens getting closer and closer. Reload. Blam! Blam! Cops unload from their car, guns pointed, screaming at the man to drop the gun. He complies and stands there. As they approach him cautiously, one of them asks, “What the hell were you doing?”

    “Planting a fucking garden!” he says.

      • I have a friend who tries it out of a handgun, cut it wrong, and a few pellets fly backwards. Not sure how well that would work in a shotgun is it were to happen.

  2. I could see this creating a bountiful fruit orchard and vegetable crops right before the city fines you for an un-permitted vegetable garden and the goon squad comes to tear it up

  3. I just want to see the coroner’s report if one of these was used in a DGU. “Victim was killed by seeds…”

    At least it’s an organic way to go. And no lead poisoning to the environment. Might be something to latch onto.

  4. Silly bastards.

    When we still shot CAS, Dad and I worked up a load using navy beans buffered with dryer lint. Still clanged the steel well enough, but reduced ricochet risk to nil. Also gave us something useful to do with dryer lint, so there really wasn’t a downside.

    Were we doing it as a protest against the lethality of “led” shot? Hardly. Just being creative hillbillies.


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