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Guns, knives, explosives flying into South Fla. airports proclaims, somehow resisting the obvious temptation to finish it off with an exclamation mark. And if that bit of passively constructed anti-pistol polemicizing wasn’t enough to convince people that people aren’t the problem – inanimate objects are – the lead gets it done. “Threatening weapons, including guns, knives and explosives, have been flying into South Florida airport security checkpoints like never before.” Literally? Or have these threatening weapons been flying into the Gunshine State for years without the public’s knowledge? Just how big is this improbable problem? I’m glad I asked myself that question . . .

At Miami International Airport, agents found 24 guns last year. That’s more than double found the year before that, when there were 11. Passengers packed ammunition 546 times last year, which was an increase of 82. There were also two more incidents of explosives being found, 2,267 more knives and 23 more box cutters found in 2013.

In case you need a little context – a desire not shared by – Miami International Airport deplaned and enplaned 20,201,503 passengers in 2013. There were no hijackings or terrorist attacks, nor anyone arrested for plotting or attempting to carry out a terrorist attack.

Of course, if one of these threatening weapons had made it on board an aircraft and attempting to injure or kill passengers of ground targets, all of the passengers would be disarmed. How passively constructed is that?

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  1. That’s technically not passive construction, the subject(s) of the sentence are (supposedly) performing the action rather than being acted upon.

    The real issue is that inanimate objects are treated as if they were animate with no human required to make them do something, and the owner is missing completely from the phrasing. The guns, etc. are being anthropomorphized.

    • Yep, this goes a step beyond. Makes me wonder if they’re doing this on purpose, or if they’re just not thinking. I’m not sure I want to know the answer; both options are depressing.

      • ‘Never mistake incompetence for malice’ Somebodies logic razor… Heinlein maybe.

        If I did my job half as badly as a local TV journalist, Id be living in a van down by the river right now.

  2. I’d like to know how to get one of those threatening weapons, or conversely, how to teach my weapons to issue threats. It’ll save so much effort should I ever need to employ one of my weapons in defense of my life to let the weapon take care of making witty, yet intimidating, commentary for me.

        • Nah, the weapon’s snark factor would be measured in Scovilles, not caliber. I’m thinking something in the 15,000 SHU range: enough sass to burn and distract without making them cross over into blinding, homicidal rage.

  3. I was shocked — shocked! — to find that my own, dear Smith & Wesson M&P 40c earned 29,000 frequent flyer miles all on its own.

  4. The concept of guns threatening people was not silly enough? Now these fruitcakes claim guns can freakin’ FLY?

    • What I want to know is, where the frell are they getting the money for the plane tickets?! Because if they have that kind of cash sitting around, I’m going to start charging mine rent and making them buy their own bloody ammo.

      • The guns don’t buy tickets; they stow away in carry on luggage (after using mind control; the same mind control that turns gun owners into homicidal maniacs the instant they handle a gun). That’s why so many people “forget” to take their gun out of their carry on.

  5. That “reporter” is more of a danger to society than any gun. The scare tactics used in this “story” are juvenile and clearly meant to illicit an emotional response over a rational one. His numbers are largely irrelevant, they obviously cut the tape to reflect just what they wanted. The sad part, after all that, what did they want?

    • Deceptive sensationalism to draw eyeballs. Caught Robert’s, didn’t it?

      Unfortunately, not all eyeballs come with a brain attached.

  6. Does this mean I have to buy my gun a ticket now to fly on its own??
    24 guns out of 20 million passengers found………………WOW!!!!!
    This means they lost what lets say an average of $300 each for those guns who flown and didn’t have tickets
    No wonder the airlines are broke.

  7. As a local resident to the Miami area I wish to apologize to the rest of the world for the god-awful reporting that is our Local 10. Even we don’t take it seriously and we live here.

    • I am surprised it was broadcast on Channel 7 Miami’s “Shock & Awe” station where everything is blown way out of proportion.

  8. No mention of the cost of the inconvenience of TSA searches to society. No mention of the fact that disarming law abiding citizens is unconstitutional, regardless of where it occurs. No mention of the fact that all a terrorist needs is a shoe filled with explosives or a couple of box cutters to wreak havoc on a disarmed populace. Terrorists are limited only by their imaginations.

    • Which is why I am glad the TSA doesn’t disallow my knitting needles (yes, I am male, and yes, I do knit). I also take ruthless advantage of the fact that I walk with a cane: you can see how much the agents hate it, but there is not a frelling thing they can do about my BubbaStik ( >=)

  9. Miami Int’l has never been a terrorist target, just a target for drug smuggling, money smuggling, illegal and criminal aliens attempting entry to the USA. I forgot to mention, guns are not a problem, it has been more than 22 years since the last murder in MIA and that was an execution in the parking lot and a crime of passion at the barber shop. Passengers are most worried about luggage theft which is endemic at MIA. TSA is problematic at best, grossly incompetent at worst and the long lines are impossible. Add to that the “on your face” local news anchors (remember Rick Sanchez?) who never let facts get in the way of news. If you listen to local news in Miami, you get in constant state of paranoia, and your blood pressure will go up until you get a heart problem. I worked for over 16 years in that cattle station when I was an officer for for the former INS and the US Customs and Border Protection. That airport has more security lapses than lighting strikes in Florida. It is an easy target and yet it has never experience a terrorist attack because it not a strategic important port except for drug and money smuggling and for illegal aliens trying to get in the USA with fraudulent documentation. It also makes a lot of money for the members of the board of governors of the Miami-Dade County; their salaries are big so some of them count on the extra money they can make from wheeling and dealing with the sea and air ports. So do not worry, MIA Int’l is a latrine, but not a terrorist target, just a buffet for the criminal element.

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