Masked Man Holds Up Dunkin’ Donuts With Finger Gun, Then Escapes on Rollerblades

rollerblade roller blade

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From the Associated Press:

A rollerblade-wearing robber skated off into the night after sticking up a Dunkin’ Donuts on Long Island, police said.

Nassau County police said the suspect glided into the Hicksville shop around 7:50 p.m. Friday, bought a cup of coffee and then demanded cash while making it seem like he had a gun under his clothing.

The man got away with an undetermined amount of money and was last seen heading in the direction of a Long Island Rail Road station a few blocks away, police said. The Dunkin’ Donuts clerk wasn’t hurt.

Along with the skates, the suspect was described as wearing a brown Carhartt jacket, blue sweatpants, red beanie cap and — in light of the coronavirus crisis — surgical mask, black rubber gloves, police said.

comments

  1. avatar NORDNEG says:

    D B Cooper.

    1. avatar James Campbell says:

      D.B. Frootbooter
      FIFY.

  2. avatar Cloudbuster says:

    Nothing conceals like a finger gun.

    1. avatar I Haz A Question says:

      As long as you don’t pull the trigger finger.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        It’s really dangerous when you use the nose holster.

  3. avatar Debbie W. says:

    Like dude man…Let the mellow donut robber go in peace and ban finger guns…
    Kumbaya…Kumbaya-da yada…Kumbaya.

    1. avatar Hush says:

      Now! We gotta ban fingers or at least require a permit for nail clipping and limit the length of nails and limit nail painting to no more than once every 60 days. Local finger czars will administer permits after a long finger examination by a certified dermatologists. All performing any finger nail service must be a state licensed and federally registered CFMP(certified finger manicure professional). All persons desiring finger manicure services from any professional are required to have on their person a FML(finger manicure license). Note, FMLs are may only be used in the state of orgin. FML holders can be red flagged if they violate the middle finger statutes or statutes relative fist and the use thereof.

  4. avatar Larry in Oregon says:

    We need common sense finger control.

    1. avatar DinWA says:

      When fingers are criminalized, only criminals will have fingers.

    2. avatar gene says:

      Especially those evil fully semi-automatic and high capacity fingers

  5. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    More bans a coming,…lol

    1. avatar former water walker says:

      Is this the REAL DIRK?!? If so welcome back!

      1. avatar Ralph says:

        Can it be? The man, the myth, the legend, the object of Shannon’s desire? Oh I sure hope so!

        1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

          Ralph,

          … the object of Shannon’s desire?

          Hmm. Was Dirk the object of Shannon’s desire? Or was Shannon the object of Dirk’s desire?

        2. avatar Geoff "Guns. LOTS of guns..." PR says:

          “Can it be? ”

          I’m not so sure, Ralph, our Dirk tended to write in all lower case, and that one capitalized his sentence…

    2. avatar Randy Jones says:

      They can take my finger when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

      1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

        You sir win the award for most clever comment on the Intertubez today!

        1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

          +1

      2. avatar Hush says:

        Randy, just give ’em the finger!!!

    3. avatar LarryinTX says:

      Yo, I’m betting someone is planning to ban whatever model gun he was *pretending* that he had.

    4. avatar Geoff "Guns. LOTS of guns..." PR says:

      Dirk?

      Dr. Diggler?

      Could it really be????

  6. avatar MouseGun says:

    Well, I can’t believe it’s actually happened; someone got robbed by the ‘90s.

    1. avatar Geoff "Guns. LOTS of guns..." PR says:

      “Well, I can’t believe it’s actually happened; someone got robbed by the ‘90s.”

      Well, I saw ‘rollerblades’, and had me an 80’s flashback to some really *good* music, PERFECT for a pandemic lockdown :

      (This is *before* rollerblades, kids…)

  7. avatar jwm says:

    Points for style.

  8. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    which finger?

    1. The one with the barrel shroud.

      1. avatar Dave G. says:

        That’s called a thimble.

        1. avatar Dave in PTC says:

          So… wearing a glove would be… concealed carry?

    2. avatar jwm says:

      The one that goes up.

  9. avatar Potoduc says:

    I wouldn’t carry anything less than
    9mm. A finger gun is even less powerful than a .22LR. That being said, I wouldn’t volunteer to get shot with one; especially in the eye.

  10. avatar rt66paul says:

    Just ask Curley about that.

  11. avatar dragos111 says:

    Black rubber gloves, huh? That makes it an Assault Finger Gun.

    1. avatar SuspiciousFisherman says:

      Highly underrated comment.

  12. avatar Ralph says:

    Best headline I’ve read since “Headless Body in Topless Bar” (NY Post) and “Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees in UFO” (a novel about journalism).

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      “Boy Trapped in Refrigerator Eats own Foot”

      Airplane.

    2. The New York Post’s “Headless Body” is truly the GOAT. Number two hasn’t been printed by the New York Times yet, but they’ll run it one day.

      “World Ends Tomorrow: Women, Minorities Hardest Hit”

      1. avatar Geoff "Guns. LOTS of guns..." PR says:

        “…is truly the GOAT. ”

        I’m probably gonna regret this, but anyways…

        GOAT?

        1. avatar Specialist38 says:

          Greatest Of All Time 😬

      1. avatar Dave G. says:

        Geoff:
        Thanks for the link. After reading that, I can just picture the shenanigans that went on in the city room of the NY Post. Hilarious!

    3. avatar Freedom Forever says:

      “Obama beats Wiener!” Will never be topped!

  13. avatar Coolbreeze says:

    “Oh, that trick never works, Butch!” The only way this perp has balls to do that is he KNOWS there will be no negative response, armed or otherwise.

    1. avatar Hannibal says:

      If I was carrying a gun in the most rootin’ tootin’ist state of the union I wouldn’t decide to have a shootout over Dunkin Donuts’ money while they pay me minimum wage to toast bagels.

      1. avatar SuspiciousFisherman says:

        Even as a customer… I mean… what does dunkin donuts have like $60 maybe? Hopefully he got a bakers dozen too. That way he can invest in more meth, and not be hungry.

        1. avatar StLPro says:

          That’s scary stupid. Like attempting a mass shooting at a gun range. Robbing a donut shop…….where all the cops are known to be…..usually. Where were NY’s finest when needed? Not even in a donut shop when you need them. That’s good reason enough to qualify for a carry permit. You are truly on your own out there!!!!

  14. avatar eagle10 says:

    They can’t ban fingers. How will I be able to give the demotaters the 1 finger salute?😜

  15. avatar DinWA says:

    “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a finger is good guy with a finger.”

  16. avatar Fun Gunner says:

    I learned in Kindergarden…never bring a finger knife to a finger gun fight.

    1. avatar Fun Gunner says:

      Unfortunately, I didn’t learn how to spell kindergarten.

      1. avatar Dave G. says:

        Fun Gunner:
        Don’t feel bad. I would have blown that one too.

  17. avatar GS650G says:

    Great description of the perp down to the brands he wears. Race? Can’t print that.
    Must be those Amish up to no good again.

  18. avatar SuspiciousFisherman says:

    Dude I’m sorry… this rollerblading robber is a legend. For donuts? Fucken right. Anybody that desperate deserves at least a dozen of the good ones.

  19. avatar possum says:

    That reminds me of a story. Years ago a burger joint had an attempted robbery.. The cashier thought the guy was me fckn around. She said she was laughing because I was putting on a good act. The guy left. When she found out it wasn’t me she got scared and her boss the owner “Hippie Dan” put a sawed off double barrel in the kitchen. What a place, What a time

  20. avatar Hannibal says:

    I’d just give him the dough

  21. If a finger gun has a hangnail, will that cause it to hang-fire ???

  22. avatar Cknarf says:

    This is dumb.

    I hope he gets away with it.

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