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Guns don't kill people retort-stickers (courtesy

These┬ábumper stickers are coming at ye olde “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people” meme from the anti-gun side of the equation. Or maybe not. Anyway, they’re funny. To quote The King of Comedy, in this business you never cut funny.

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  1. I’m liking the one at center left as a motivational sticker for a dojo or other training academy. It’s about the fight, not the tools.

      • The centre-right is as well. Every “peace brick” represents on or more guns ruthlessly mown down in their prime by heartless progressives.

        The enormity of this carnage is vast, the streets awash in oil and Hoppe’s #9.

        Please help end this senseless violence to helpless, innocent guns!

  2. FISTS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, Skull fractures and concussion do.
    I’m going to beat you to death with my baseball bat.

  3. I think Robert and I have somewhat different definitions of funny. I thought a couple of them were just completely stupid (second right, third right), and the rest were just … no real reaction at all.

    I suppose these would have some value in identifying people I should pay no attention to, because if someone puts one of these asinine stickers on their car, I’m pretty sure they have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say.

    • Humor is highly subjective to the angle at which it is delivered. A joke told down from a high horse (see above stickers) is usually just grating.

  4. These are actually from a comedy/satirical and fictional podcast called “Welcome to Nightvale”, that takes the form of a radio show broadcasting out of a town that’s haunted and full of weird supernatural goings-on.

    I think someone having one of these stickers would just be putting out a “call and response” to others who have listened to the “radio show”. The reason why these would “make sense” to those who are fans of the show is, in it, guns *can’t* kill people, but for example, “spending too much time thinking about the dog park”, can.

    It’s kind of corny and kitschy, and a bit overwrought – and I heard about two ‘episodes’, the first one and the one these stickers came from. But it has a bit of an internet cult following. For example, the “radio show” says to order one of these bumper stickers, stand outside of your house and yell “NRA!” really loud.

    The idea is, due to the paranormal occupations happening in Nightvale, the people there actually *can’t* get killed by guns. (For some reason. Amongst other oddities.) Due to the… nature of this, for example, “sentient guns being killed by people” is actually a concern in the town.

    It’s not really got a political bent, the theme of these stickers is actually just like, “what if there was an NRA ‘chapter’ in a town occupied by ghosts.” – it’s all meant to be tongue in cheek and is a bit of an “inside joke”, but it certainly isn’t espousing gun control. Apparently the residents of Nightvale are too busy running from evil forces or floating dogs or… something.

    • Glad I’m not the only one who recognized it. Suggesting that these are anti-gun is kind of misleading, seeing as their source is apolitical.

    • Thanks for the explanation, it all makes a whole lot more sense now.

      Well, except for that whole story not making sense, but then, it’s ghosts and stuff.

  5. And spoons make people fat, cars make people crash, and axes chop down trees of their own accord….
    Etc, etc…
    The funny thing is this: They’re actually right this time; guns don’t kill people, (Oh sure they’re being sarcastic about it, but they’re still right in that sense).
    Sure it’s just semantics, but still.

  6. My gun doesn’t seem to be working. I told it to kill someone, but it just sits there ignoring me. Does it not understand English?

  7. As usual, the antis don’t care to understand the point of the message. Guns truly do not kill anyone. As inanimate objects, they are incapable of independent action. Cars and knives also do not kill people. It’s the loony using whatever tool they use that kills.

  8. Is it me or is it really sad that the opposition completely misses the point of the phrase? They completely fail to see the point that it’s not the TOOL that needs to be looked at, it’s the user. But that is apparently too difficult a concept for them to grasp.


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