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SpaceGuns (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

Scenario: For the past several weeks people have been vanishing, only to reappear distraught and covered head to toe in strange surgical marks and scarification. They all report the same thing: alien abduction. At first, you thought they were all lying…now the television is aglow with reports of flying saucers landing around the globe. The aliens have been using their ray guns to destroy anything that gets in their way. THEY are here and nothing can stop them…except for a 12 gauge shotgun right out of Starship Troopers .  . .

On one hand, you have the SRM-1216. Pull the trigger as fast as you want -you have 16 rounds per detachable magazine and that roller-delayed action will cycle all day long. The gun is lightweight and has a razor sharp extended choke tube for breaching doors or skulls. It has rails aplenty for whatever accessories you might want to put on it. It’s also available in shorter barreled versions, if you’re willing to wait 9 months or more. Will Dana Pickles and Jason Bowers still approve Form 4s during an interplanetary war?

On the other hand, you have the UTS-15 in Marine Coat Blue. It’s stainless choke tube (it takes Beretta chokes) is, like the SRM’s, also handy for head-breaching and it won’t rust from all the iron oxide in the aliens’ blood. And you’ll be drenched in blood, as this gun holds 14 rounds of alien-smashing shot in its 2 different mag tubes. Being a pump, it should cycle even in the filthiest of environments. An optional factory light/laser combo unit integrates seamlessly into the pump design. You may not dazzle the aliens with your firing speed, but you’ll dazzle the news cameras with the impressive finish.

Which gun would you grab?

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    • I agree, I already have one with drums and stick mags. It cycles buck and slugs without fail. I won’t be using birdshot to shoot those bug eyed greys and scaly reptilians so cycling issues won’t be common.

  1. You know, I’ve wondered how an alien abduction attempt would go down in an armed household.

    Perhaps there’s a file hidden someplace of a “home invasion of the Third Kind”.

    • Check out Harry Turtledove’s science fiction novel series “World War”. The aliens depend on a drone inspection of Neolithic herdsmen armed with clubs and spears to decide if an invasion is doable. By the time their main fleet arrives, though, it is 1942, the whole world is armed to the teeth, and things don’t quite go as planned.

      The series runs to six novels, but any of the first couple can stand alone. Very entertaining!

      Turtledove is also the author of “The Guns of the South”, about time traveling South Africans who equip the Confederacy with AK-47s, so their “future” will be more friendly to racial repression. He also did a series on
      WW-I with the premise of an independent Confederacy allied with Canada and England versus America and Germany.

      He is generally credited as the king of “alternative history”.

      • +1 on Turtledove, he’s got some great stuff. One of his series is a rewrite of WW1 in a fantasy setting, pretty interesting. Funny thing about the World War series, the aliens open their invasion with EMP airbursts, but being 1942, humans are still using tubes and communications are basically unaffected. 🙂 That wouldn’t be the case today.

        Of course, there is always the short story that Turtledove wrote called “The Road Not Taken”, where aliens discovered gravity manipulation so early that they never went through the equivalent of our Industrial Revolution – they have spaceships, but their weapons are black powder matchlocks, and they get butchered when they try to go all British Colonial on the human “primitive tribals”, who have automatic weapons and tanks. Anyway, he’s an excellent author, check him out if you aren’t familiar with his stuff.

    • I actually own a UTS-15 and have put ~200 rounds through it. No problems. I have read that the first offering of this gun was total crap! But they have cleaned up their act, and I feel that it is a great gun. However, I have had friends that are more comfortable with a traditional shotty tend to short stroke it from time to time, but this is not the UTS’s fault.

    • I’m sorry, Delbert, but “The Attorney” is only available in .375 H&H with Grade 4 English Walnut furniture. The current order-fulfillment lead time is approximately eighteen months once you’ve been measured for length of pull, drop at comb and heel, and you have specified desired cast-off and pitch . You may be more satisfied with “The Undertaker” model, which emphasizes the finality it provides at a reasonable price. We have several in stock. One size fits all. Delivery of the “Undertaker” is immediate upon receipt of payment by certified check or money order. “The Undertaker” is built to deliver eternal peace with only the briefest of ceremonies.

  2. no no NO.

    you grab that M41A pulse rifle you ordered out of the Weyland Yutani catalog months before (you DID order that months before RIGHT?) and break out those sonic electronic ball breakers just because one weapon would be boring on its own.

    • Ugh, such a newb answer.

      Obviously, the power loader suit would be more than enough to deal with any alien menaces. DUH.

  3. Doesnt it seem like such a high profile website devoted exclusively to the firearm industry would already know that the firearms they are trying to compare are complete garbage? Reviews of these shotguns have been around for a long time now and its pretty common knowledge that they are useless. It just seems pretty silly to see an article on TTAG with this title when most readers already know to stay away from these guns completely.

  4. The SRM. When aliens invade, seconds matter. You may not have time to pump, and the extra 2 shells may be the difference between escaping to sneak onto the mothership or the embarrasment of capture and the unavoidable anal probe. Dry.

    Also, depending on the aliens you may not need to worry about alien matter gumming up the works. Some aliens juicy juices have been proven to be almost as effective as FrogLube.

    Trust me, I’ve played video games.

  5. Neither! According to bumblin Biden we only need a double barrel shotty and we just need to shoot two blasts into the air and those aliens will be scurrying back to Uranus…..or his

  6. Well, in an ideal world I would use a pair of sawn-off quad barrel shotguns. With 8 inch barrels, rubber strips on the grps (ala Raging Bull) and some really good ear protection.

    But between those two, the 1216.

  7. Um…. No offense to the TTAG staff, but who is Michael Holderer and when did he start, what’s his background, etc.?

    In other words, a little background about the article’s author would be nice.

  8. I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

    I’d like to remind them that as a trusted internet personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

  9. Avenger Assault Rifle.

    Or a Vindicator or Mattock if I need more precision.

    Backed up by a Carnifex Hand Cannon of course. The Rachni won’t know what hit them.

  10. Not the UTS, that’s for sure. Unreliable POS in the best of conditions. If I gotta have a shotgun, give me a Mossberg 500 (if it needs to be pump action) or a Saiga 12 (if it needs to be semi auto). Otherwise, I’d go for a SCAR 17.

  11. Nothing smaller than a 7.62×51. If you have read Footfall you will realize that short of a miracle we stand no chance against aliens capable of invading.

    “God was knocking, and he wanted in bad.”

  12. I don’t know that I would bet my life on it, but the UTAS-15 is a fun gun.

    As long as we are dreaming, my preferred zombie/alien gun is an MG3.

  13. I would grab the one that works. Which, in this case, is a big stick if my only options are those two overpriced shitboxes.

  14. Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range.

    Except that this is the 21st century goddamnit, so make it 40-GIGAwatt range.

  15. Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range ain’t gonna do it. Everyone knows you need a 45-watt if you wanna kill ’em dead.

  16. Don’t count on bullets being your salvation from the infamous anal probe ! Multiple incidents over the last century of folks firing on ETs with no effect. Firing on their vehicles has had no result and may in fact be quite hazardous. Classic story of Iranian jet downed by UFO when locked radar on it. Various air forces have issued orders to not attempt it. So now you have been warned !

  17. That’s a tough one. TRIED the SRM as an upgrade to our department 870’s. It was a cool concept that would have been nearly perfect for our applications, except…nearly every shotgun we had for trials had an unworkable jam. The bolt would not only fail to cycle, but it would stick so hard even an inertia tool wouldn’t budge it. Ever try a full strip down on a weapon that you can’t even perform the functions required TO strip it?
    The UTAS? Never tried it but I would take it over the SRM simply because one could single shot the pump in case of a failure.
    UTAS: begrudgingly.

  18. Remington Model 31 (2+1) with 000 Spaceship Shot because its better to have two more rounds than what you need.

    • Oh yeah, another Laumer fan! Nice… Or an OGRE Mark V (Bolo-inspired, from Steve Jackson Games, the guys who got raided by the feds because their Illuminati game was “suspicious”).

  19. Hey Leadbelly, I read the guns of the south (being a southern boy),and it was spot on. I would go with a tactical 1100 with buckshot.

  20. I love how the folks who -own- the UTAS say its fine, as long as you are careful to short stroke it, but those who don’t have one, and have read reviews, say its crap.

    Well, put me in the first group, I have one, and as long as you don’t short stroke it, and treat it like a real gun, not a toy (i.e. Be assertive stroking it), it functions just fine.

    That gun is basically the firearm equivalent of the internet issues the Nissan GTR and Ford Raptor had when they first came out.

  21. As for shotgun , Remington 870 20 inch barrel 8shot mag tube Wilson Combat innerds , all the shotgun I’ll ever need . Be prepared and ready . Keep your powder dry.

  22. Neither. I already have three decent shotguns–an 870 Express, a SuperNova (both are 18.5-inch guns), and an SLP Mk1 autoloader, all three of which have proven reliable in my use. If I have to run with a 12-gauge, I’m covered fairly well on that end. If anything, I’d rather take an AR-15 or a M1A to a fight against hostile foreign invaders.

  23. Harley, I haven’t read it (what’s a book?), but when the aliens come I will be selling out humanity lolz

  24. Remington, winchester, or mossberg, pump action is good enough. Sorry but if the invasion hit today, western /nato 5.56 / .308 and the rest of the worlds 5.45/ 7.62 x 39 will definitely do the job. A shotgun would be the worst long range, sustainable fighting weapon. But for short term, up close melee fighting? Ka boom! Have at it. I think this type of gun fiction falls in line with the “elmos”( last man on earth types) who think they’ll take on the legions of undead with dbl barrel 12 ga guns too….hahahahaha!

  25. M56 Smart Gun – 10mm x 28 caseless @ 1200 rpm… when you absolutely, positively got to kill every xenomorph in the room.

  26. The top one looks cooler, but I think I’ll stick to my Remington 870, at least I know it works reliably!

  27. I have both. Utas15 is the more reliable gun. Only had short stroke issues as I learned to shoot it. SRM 1216 can rip the casing off the shell, but seems to improve with use. Tolerances seem very tight. I continue to break it in. Both are better than my saiga.

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