Florida Considers Bear Hunts

January 18, 2015

It’s a little embarrassing for animal right activists: big black bears are brutalizing fearful Floridians. The attacks – and the fear of attacks – has proven too much to bear for beleaguered residents. The scared suburbanites now want the Powers That Be to authorize bear hunts. In a state with strong support for the right to bear arms, the right to bear arms against bears should cause barely a ripple. Needless to say, the Human Society consider the idea inhumane. They maintain that a bear hunt is unbearable – at least for the bears. But it looks like they’re bearing the burden of proof. As for how hunters would hunt black bears, no details yet. Bear with us. [h/t NEIOWA]

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31 COMMENTS

fueled_by_cheetah_blood January 18, 2015 At 20:06

Grizzly puns, bear-y bad. Please stop, for the cubs.
- Rokurota January 18, 2015 At 20:10
  
  Agreed. Bruins the story and pandas to the lowest common denominator.
  - Jeff the Griz January 18, 2015 At 20:18
    
    Now that’s a bear faced lie.
    - Slicer87 January 18, 2015 At 20:55
      
      The Country Bears at WDW still has more Bear puns.
    - Geoff PR January 18, 2015 At 22:40
      
      “There was…
      
      Blood on the saddle…
      
      Blood on the ground…
      
      And Great. Big. Puuhhdles…
      
      Of blood all around…”
- tmm January 18, 2015 At 20:23
  
  Don’t deny The Truth About Alliteration
George in NC January 18, 2015 At 20:09

RF that fellow who told you that you are funny? He was lying.
- Soccerchainsaw January 19, 2015 At 09:22
  
  I’m willing to cut RF some slack, this is after all, his site. And what would we do with our time if he decided to discontinue (like that’s ever gonna happen, barring a horrific incident).
  I would encourage that puns don’t take the place of proofreading. (Is that the Human Society or the Humane Society?)
jwm January 18, 2015 At 20:10

Why you gotta hunt just the black bears? Wait til Al and Jessie hear about this.
- IAB2 January 18, 2015 At 20:22
  
  These are equal opportunity, multi-culti bears. No offense intended.
- LarryinTX January 19, 2015 At 12:24
  
  What, you think they want you to hunt all things black?
Steve January 18, 2015 At 20:10

They’re a menace around here. There was one on the beach earlier this year
- GuyFromV January 18, 2015 At 20:24
  
  I’m not touching this one.
- Gov. William J. Le Petomane January 18, 2015 At 21:28
  
  Are you sure it wasn’t just a bald hairy backed Canadian in a speedo?
  - Geoff PR January 18, 2015 At 22:30
    
    You know, I could have at least closed this week out without that image burned in my brain…
IAB2 January 18, 2015 At 20:26

PS: lest anyone doubt a black bear can mess you up…

http://www.reuters.com/video/2014/09/22/rutgers-student-killed-by-black-bear?videoId=343346024

and this encounter on the Appalachian Trail is kind of freaky…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ifkzAdplwI

David Baron, call your office…
http://www.amazon.com/The-Beast-Garden-Predators-Suburban/dp/0393326349%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q%26tag%3Dduckduckgo-d-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D0393326349
What about Bob January 18, 2015 At 20:27

The Bear’s season ended weeks ago. Sadly the Packer’s ended theirs tonight.
- AllAmerican January 18, 2015 At 20:59
  
  Right!? Greenbay dominated all game long then like just quit playing in the last five minuets and let those Sea Cows win. Hope the patriots wreck that mouthy ass team in the Super Bowl.
Frank Masotti January 18, 2015 At 20:43

Well TTAG did get all the puns in 🙂
- Geoff PR January 18, 2015 At 20:54
  
  The TTAG chimps will milk this thread a while longer…
  - archangel187 January 18, 2015 At 21:12
    
    You’ll just have to grin and bear it.
  - Jeff the Griz January 18, 2015 At 21:49
    
    Geoff would you like us to stop monkeying around? I think this koala-fies as good clean pun. Puns are fun, if you let yourself, you’ll go ape.
    - Geoff PR January 18, 2015 At 22:32
      
      You’re killing me, Grizz…
      
      anyways.
      
      Dirk would like Shannon to grin and bare it…
    - cmeat January 19, 2015 At 05:02
      
      don’t bruin it for me. she”s the gorilla my dreams.
Matt in Maine January 18, 2015 At 20:52

The humane society just tried to pull that hogwash in Maine. It’s amazing how dishonest they are. They go to these states and pour in millions of dollars and create problems where there weren’t problems before. Mass is experiencing the consequences of their agenda with bears now having interactions in the outskirts of Boston metro. Now where are they? They’ve gone to the next state and leave the last one to fix the mess they created.
DV January 18, 2015 At 21:06

Drink a beer, get bear-naked and go bear hunting! Woo florida!
Steve January 18, 2015 At 21:24

So bear down for bear hunting ;P Luckily I’ve never been denied the lovely chance to get me some tasty bear meat 🙂
Peter January 19, 2015 At 07:40

The problem is that urban liberals always outnumber the suburban victims.
It’s easy to be against a bear hunt when your only exposure is an occasional trip to the zoo.
Perhaps some of the bears could be turned loose in urban parks, this might change a few minds.
LarryinTX January 19, 2015 At 12:27

“As for how hunters would hunt black bears, no details yet.”

They would be bearing arms, in fact loaded for bear.
Summer January 19, 2015 At 14:44

I want to go on a bear hunt. No sarcasm there. Just a basic statement.
- Geoff PR January 19, 2015 At 17:36
  
  No sarcasm in this reply –
  
  Sometimes you hunt bear.
  
  Sometimes bear hunt *you*.