I read your article on training not to shoot. I understand where you are coming from on this one because the recent scenario seems like a no win scenario when you look at it in terms of firearms training. I don’t think this is a good solution to the problem however. If the Kobayashi Maru taught us anything it is that when a scenario looks to be no win you need to consider a reformulation of the problem. A solution in this sad scenario lies not with firearms training, but the distinction between “firearms training” and “self defense training.” What failed in this case was not the firearms training, but the lack of an overall self/family defense strategy the father should have instilled in himself and those he was responsible for . . .
For example, parents are responsible for training kids that “burglars get shot”. Since there are the likely possibilities of daughters sneaking boyfriends, kids sneaking in and out, kids playing “spy”, the parents are really responsible for training kids more generally that “people who look like burglars get shot.” Much in the same way parents train their kids not to play with toy guns around cops for the same reasons. I was drilled on these facts of life as a kid and I expect this is not unique.
I recommend what is likely an automatic instinct for most parents as a formal “step 0” for defense in the context of an adult responsible for a family. If there is potential danger around your family, locate and secure your children first before doing anything else. Consider it a negative space variation on “know your target and what is beyond.” If you have secured your family then you know a potential target (and what is beyond) is at least not your family.
There are many lessons in self preservation and self defense which go outside of firearms training which need to be taught even more vigorously than shooting skills if we want to be at all serious about self defense or defending our families. As we all know when SHTF you sink to the level of your training, so it should be comprehensive and proportionally representative of the scenarios you are at all likely to be thrust into.
If you are a parent, locating your children when danger is afoot should be as instinctual as locating the trigger. The steps you go through for appraising a family threat scenario should be as thoughtfully considered, formulated, and practiced as the stages of your draw and presentation. It won’t make for a good Sunday afternoon activity at the range or a good timed sport or an adrenaline pumping course to take, but it will go a long way in keeping everyone you care about alive and you from wishing you weren’t.